Would you like to have this calendar?

Three-hundred and sixty-five days and not a cute kitten or pinup girl in sight.

The National Counterterrorism Center has released its 2009 calendar, a 164-page daily planner that features profiles of some of the world's most wanted men and deadliest substances.

The calendar, which is free to the public and distributed widely to national security staff, provides pictures of terrorist leaders and important dates in the history of terrorist movements. It even offers advice on how far away to run from bombs of different sizes.

Next to this Who's Who of international terrorism, your dentist appointment or parent-teacher night may not amount to a hill of beans -- but even beans can be deadly, according to the indispensable calendar. A pair of pictures shows you how to distinguish between pinto beans, which are delicious, and castor beans, which produce the deadly toxin ricin.

In addition to identifying Muslim, Christian and Jewish holidays, the calendar also notes anniversaries of deadly strikes, which are often used by terrorists for so-called "commemoration attacks" years afterward.

The NCTC calls its annual handout "a prized resource for law enforcement and national security personnel" that helps them keep an eye out for foreign and domestic threats.

"In addition to profiles on known terrorists and terrorist organizations, the calendar provides invaluable first-responder information on suspicious substances, a variety of biological and chemical threats, and indicators of suspicious financial activity and forged documents," said NCTC spokeswoman Leslie Jewell.

The planner even shows doctored photos of some suspects, including an altered image of Usama bin Laden wearing a closely cropped beard and Western dress. It also shows the symbols of some of the world's worst terrorist organizations, which feature a lot of fists, guns and flags -- and even a friendly bird here and there.

Feds take note: April 9 may be the first day of Passover, but don't forget -- it's also Martyr's Day in Tunisia, so dress appropriately.

An image of Usama bin Laden, digitally altered to show the AL Qaeda chief wearing a closely cropped beard and Western dress. (FBI)

• Would you like to have this calendar? - sm
  • They'd have more luck unloading these if - sm
  • You can get one free - ditzil
    • Another lie - imagine that - on top of things
      • Tongue in cheek political parody meant to mock - jj

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