Jesus and the Democrat
Posted By: sm on 2008-10-09
In Reply to:
Jesus and the Democrat
A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that Jesus sitting over there?'
The waitress nodded 'yes,' so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that Jesus over there?'
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, 'My treat.'
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, 'Hey there, honey! How's about getting' me a cold glass of Miller Light?' He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that God's boy over there?'
The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer. 'On my bill,' he said.
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, 'For your kindness, you are healed.'
The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, 'For your kindness, you are healed.' The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.
Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, 'Don't touch me .. I'm collecting disability.'
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Jesus and the Democrat
A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.
The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with a hunched back.
He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea.
He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is
that Jesus over there?"
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches.
He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, honey! How's about getting' me a cold glass of Miller Light?"
He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?"
The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer. "On my bill," he said.
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed."
The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed."
The Libertarian felt his back straightening
up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.
Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me .. I'm collecting disability."
Jesus
I had a long reply typed, but lost it when it wanted me to edit H*LL as a "bad word!" Sigh...
Anway, yes, I do believe that Jesus existed, he was a Jew after all, lol. Most Jews don't believe he was the Messiah and are still waiting for the Messiah so that we can be "gathered" with our ancestors.
I personally believe, though many Jews believe differently, as do many christians, that "heaven" is being "with G-d" feeling his presence and guidance in our lives. H*ll is being absent from G-d, which can happen at any time in our lives. I've got to get back to work, but I will try to post more later.
Yes, sometimes I do take offense at the world assuming that I want to take part in every christian thing or that christmas is a big deal to me (it is no deal, except I usually get a day off of work or some good overtime pay!) Though it bothers me sometimes, I have never asked that it go away, but some days in December, I would like to be able to go to the mall without hearing carols and seeing Santa.
Jesus again
Yes, I believe he lived and was crucified. Don't believe he rose again. Most Jews believe only the old testament, but many study the new testament also.
As for believing the bible, no I don't think G-d can be wrong, but man certainly can, and the Jewish Old Testament is a good bit different from the several christian bibles that are around. Bibles are translated by humans, which can and do make mistakes, interpret things their way, etc.
Jews usually study Hebrew, so we can study texts in the original form. Many christians accept the bible as "the word" without ever studying how it came about, what concessions were made in each version. Reformed christians rewrote the bible because they believe the catholic version was incorrect. King James rewrote it so he could get a divorce (more or less). There are several books that were never included in the new testament, or that are in some bibles and not others.
One of my dear friends is a PCUSA minister and she spends a lot of time studying different translations of both new and old testament and there are a lot of inconsistencies and flaws in many versions of the bible and this is why some people don't take it as "gospel" (pun intended.)
Jesus
Jesus is the Messiah and he did rise after three days. GOD ( I will spell it out) is perfect and infallible. If he wanted a book written through mankind about his life, love, way to live, and about his son Jesus Christ, I think he could manage for that book to be written without mistake. It is called FAITH. It is a shame that in this world today no one seems to have any.
One day soon, every one will see that Jesus was and is the son of God and that you will ONLY get to heaven by accepting his free gift of salvation. The rest will go the h*ll
Jesus said it, not me.
Jesus said many times that He was the only way. I don't really care for denominations, but yes, I believe only those that accept Jesus as Lord and Savior will "get through the pearly gates".
It's not hypocrisy. Islam is a false religion, therefore I would not want to live under their law. Not to mention you can forget all the freedom (such as being gay, abortion, etc) under their law. They'll just cut your head off instead.
No more of a radical than Jesus was.
:)
I'm not sure what you're getting, but do you think Jesus
would have wished assassination on anyone?
Like I said I quite enjoyed the shows until I found myself listening to Pat spew his political spin as if he were speaking for Christ himself. THAT'S what I don't agree with, and I'm obviouslly not the only one not tuning in. Did you read the article???? The show barely raked in 1.3 mil in profits last year. Why??? Because it is an off year for the republican party.
Jesus loves and cherishes his followers and those who do not. He loves and cherishes all of Gods' children. I wouldn't even attempt to make a comparison of Jesus to the likes of people who use His name to advance their OWN agendas.
So pretty much Jesus would be like,
that's hilarious. Of course I can't say what He would do or say and neither can you, but didn't He teach to take care of those that can't take care of themselves? It is very hypocritical of you to talk about a country that murders millions of babies being morally wrong and in the same breath say it's okay let children die or suffer because their parents could not afford (or chose not to purchase) good healthcare. It's not the kids' fault if they got irresponsible parents or parents that were not in the upper-middle class. Should they suffer for their parents' sins/shortcomings?
Was Jesus a socialist?...sm
On the last day, Jesus will say to those on His right hand, "Come, enter the Kingdom. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was sick and you visited me." Then Jesus will turn to those on His left hand and say, "Depart from me because I was hungry and you did not feed me, I was thirsty and you did not give me to drink, I was sick and you did not visit me." These will ask Him, "When did we see You hungry, or thirsty or sick and did not come to Your help?" And Jesus will answer them, "Whatever you neglected to do unto one of these least of these, you neglected to do unto Me!"
Was Jesus a Socalist? ......sm
Was Jesus a Socialist
by Ralph Brandt, Jan 21, 2007
This is a comparison of Jesus to a Socialist.
There is a significant difference between Socialism and Christ.
Jesus said, "Give to the poor."
The socialist says, "We tax you so we can give it to the poor."
The one is voluntary giving, the laying down one's life (in the form of labor and money). The other is being taxed - that is the money is forcefully taken. I am sure that some will argue this is not forcefully taken but look at what happens if the tax is not paid. It will eventually come to it being taken by force. The tax man will come, then the police (in some form) will come. Either the money or liberty will be forfeited.
Jesus said, "Give to the poor." This act is one that benefits the giver and the recipient. The giver does it out of love and duty. The recipient gets something that is handed to him by a willing giver. That attitude does wonders for both.
The socialist says, "We tax you so we can give it to the poor." The taking of taxes certainly is taking money in a way that the "giver" is generally not a willing participant. In the spirit this taints the money no matter where it is disbursed. The forcible taking places the person giving the money as not being blessed for giving because they are not willingly given. I believe if we willingly give money that goes to taxes that are used to help the poor we have a reward for that just the same as if we gave it privately. And if the person gives the taxes grudgingly there is no reward for it. The way the money is disbursed is degrading to the recipient. They are actually encouraged to lie to get what they need. The system is one that steals from the one taxed and the recipient. It steals money and reward from the taxed and the respect, dignity and at times the honesty and integrity from the recipient.
Jesus never did anything that degraded or stole....
Socialists do it routinely.
Anyone who compares the two as being alike is either a fool or a liar - depending on whether he or she knows the truth or not.
http://www.socyberty.com/Politics/Was-Jesus-a-Socialist.13750
Victory in Jesus
I heard an old, old story,
How a Savior came from glory,
How He gave His life on Calvary
To save a wretch like me;
I heard about His groaning,
Of His precious blood's atoning,
Then I repented of my sins
And won the victory.
Chorus
O victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever.
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.
I heard about His healing,
Of His cleansing pow'r revealing.
How He made the lame to walk again
And caused the blind to see;
And then I cried, "Dear Jesus,
Come and heal my broken spirit,"
And somehow Jesus came and bro't
To me the victory.
Chorus
O victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever.
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.
I heard about a mansion
He has built for me in glory.
And I heard about the streets of gold
Beyond the crystal sea;
About the angels singing,
And the old redemption story,
And some sweet day I'll sing up there
The song of victory.
Chorus
O victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever.
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.
We just did this one Sunday at church! Funny you should mention it!
Are you say Jesus was pro choice?
Suffer the little children to come unto me.
Honey, you need to get yourself a real Bible. Apparently yours is missing a few important chapters.
The Jesus that I know was very close to...sm
Mary Magdelene a prostitute. He did not agree with her profession, but he loved her and saw her value apart from what she did to survive. Things are not ever just black and white, good and bad. Because Obama does not agree with you on certain heartfelt beliefs does not mean that Jesus would not support him in his efforts to bring peace to the world.
Those of us who take Jesus Christ as our saviour.
.
PLEASE take Jesus Christ as your Savior >>>
Take him the hell out of everyones politics, you narrow-minded ignoramus.
If you think Jesus would be on board for abortion...
you don't know Jesus. lol.
sPEAK THE NAME OF JESUS OUT LOUD
Amen, I agree with you.
Oh my! I have no words. Jesus would not be happy with you.
.
Those who claim to have 'come to Jesus' as
Or else brainwashed.
Or both.
Victory In Jesus!! another sou. Baptist
.
I don't presume to speak for Jesus either...
but I know that we legislate against murder. We legislate against theft. And in this case, legislated FOR abortion. In good conscience can't vote for a man who voted against the Born alive act. Lord knows I am going to have enough to explain some day without adding that to my list.
That is not the defining issue for me in this election tho. The far left wing socialist agenda...that is number 1.
You are correct, Jesus would not approve of it....
that being the case, I am equally sure He would not approve of abortion in any way, shape or form. Didn't he say "Suffer the little children to come unto me, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven" ? Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God? Who is more pure in heart that a child in the womb, I ask you.
That is only ONE of the reasons I will not vote for Barack Obama. He goes so far as to vote AGAINST treating a baby who managed to survive abortion, rather leave them to die in a soiled linen closet, alone, simply because that might somehow be used to get abortion rights reduced.
Someone has to take a stand for those babies. Shouldn't it be Christians?
lets all sing about Jesus
As MT you should know better. Are we talking about a procedure or the morning after pill?
Catholics think the Mirena is abortion, the birth control pill is abortion. You know what? If the republicans stay in charge, no one will have any money to take care of their kids. They will all be driving to Nebraska to drop them off. Give me a break. You want to prevent MURDER, go to Congo this week and preach to them!
Jesus also said "judge not lest ye be judged and let he who is without sin.....sm
cast the first stone. I am not a liberal, I am just not so rash and harsh when it comes to picking and choosing what liberty and freedon is, sometimes you DO have to put your own personal religious beliefs second, stand back, and try to play Solomon.....I am just concerned with true equity, I do not have to carry a banner or an "agenda", only a cherished belief system in my heart and soul, which I practice not only with righteousness, if that is what you want to call it, but with love, mercy, compassion, and forgiveness, very Christ-like beliefs, as I remember Scripture.
And you probably believe Jesus rode a dinosaur...whatever...nm
x
number 1 Jesus freak here
I truly feel so bad for you guys. You look at us like we are crazy, hateful, wrong, and judgmental. You guys just dont get the big picture do you? That is such a shame.
Whacked out Jesus freaks?
Boy, what a clever girl you are. Did you string all those words together yourself?
Here's one:
Trashy little crack ho's.
You know, like all those girls getting abortions.
Waterboarding makes Jesus Cry
xx
that's great Muslims believe Jesus was a
messenger etc. etc. But Jesus was not a "messenger" he was the Holy, SINLESS, son of God sent to this earth to die for ALL that they may have salvation for all who believe. He his alive and on the throne. The Muslim "god" is dead and in the grave. Christianity is the only faith where the God is not in the grave but is alive forever.
Who would Jesus Whack. Oh that's charming, just really special. nm
Even agnostics call out to Jesus when the time is near.
Beauty is knowing that I will live again and see my entire family again. But this is the wrong board for this. As far as acceptance, I don't see a lot of that here.
You just want to make me puke! If you want to bring Jesus into ...sm
the discussion, what would Jesus say about the politics of today, how we provide for the weak, elderly and helpless. I am a Christian but respect people of all faiths. What would Jesus say about 99% of the people of the world living in poverty while less than 1% live in luxury, never using their wealth to help the less fortunate?
Christian does mean to follow Christ Jesus. SM
You know, Jesus, the son of God, God in human flesh? Jesus, who answered Pilate "you say rightly I am king," Jesus, who answered the high priest when asked if he was the Christ "Yes, it is as you say." If anyone knew what Father God was thinking, it was Jesus Christ, God in human flesh.
Sheesh, at least try to know what your talking about with your retorts.
this is history: It was the Jews who crucified Jesus.
Now you want Jesus to come back and take you home? Are you sure that you are a Christian?
Oh, and it's cool, the Bush is Jesus post on the C board. SM
Yeah, typical libs.
What makes you think that everyone who believes in Jesus grew up in the church?
I most definitely did not, and it is an absolute MIRACLE that I even came to the Lord. My parents are as far from Christ as can be. I literally came to Christ "kicking and screaming". I did not want to believe in him. Mostly because I did not want to have to follow HIS rules. But I am here, and I am saved, and I thank God that I am! It is the best thing to ever happen to my SOUL.
Jesus told us to speak the truth in LOVE
and to be slow to anger...I think you need to check your tongue.
When has jumping on someone and threatening h-ell ever gotten anyone to believe what you believe? Yes I believe h-ell is very real also and I know people who don't believe in Jesus are going there, but using scare tactics and threats are not going to change anyone's mind!
Ephesians 4:15 "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ."
Please, stop attacking those with different beliefs than us! Instead sit down and learn why they don't believe and maybe, just maybe they may become to believe what we do. Besides, God is the winner of souls, not you. We are just the mouthpiece.
Yes, we have to long sat idly by and not said anything, but when we do say something, we need to say it in a way Jesus would, not in a way our emotions cause us to! Speak from your mind, not your heart, because Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?"
Last but not least:
Proverbs 14:29 "He who is slow to anger has great understanding, But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly."
I not only have read it, I live it. Jesus also said "a physician is not needed for the well, but
I really do not see very much of that lately, just a spirit of pride, superiority, and many times hypocrivy,which Jesus abhorred and exhorted the Pharisees and Sadducees to be abolish in their hearts,,,you see, I have read and lived Scripture all of my life, but I try not to slam people over the head with it who do not have the same POLITICAL beliefs as I, I can make that distinction. We do not have churches in the Senate chamber, and we do not have Congressman from EITHER side conducting services.
My "messiah" is Jesus, and he is with the Heavenly Father; the President.....sm
is very hard at work trying to please everyone because he can seem to do no right to the right, and also he is trying to build a ladder so we can climb out of the gigantic chasm that he inherited and sincerely wants to mend...with time, patience, sacrifice, perseverance, bipartisan help, and by implementing new rules, regulations, and spending investments that will take time to turn things around, but he is BEING A PRESIDENT and not a trained chimp, looking the other way on difficult issues. OK, I know this will be flamed, but I don't see the EAGERNESS that many folk have about seeing our President fail....if HE fails, WE fail, and excuse me, it has only been a month. What did President Bush accomplish in 8 years besides spending trillions in a meansingless, unwinnable war, and making Cheney, Halliburton, and all his friends more money, while securing all their oil interests? I am trying so hard not to be partisan here, but these one-liners that are posted that do nothing but doom and ridicule a brand new president...why so intent on that???
Two more and I'm done! Q. What's the difference between Jesus Christ and Barack Obama?
A. Jesus could assemble a cabinet.
Q: How many Obamunists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It's enough to hope that it gets changed.
 I'm waiting to be called a racist. I'm sure somewhere in that those jokes, some Obamunist will find racism.
I believe Satan quoted scripture to Jesus, didn't he?
In fact, if I'm not entirely mistaken altogether, Satan is entirely capable of appearing as an angel of light. How he must laugh at our cartoon images of him with horns and a tail when in fact he probably looks much more like...well, like...perhaps someone not so very different from Obama, or perhaps Nancy Pelosi.
The Sweet Jesus I Hate Bill O'Reilly page sm
is a great idea. O'Reilly, Hannity, Coulter, and Malkin are at the top of my list for rabid vermin. There are some other great links there too, some funny.
I came across this scripture today when I was studying. These are the words of Jesus Christ
from the book of Matthew Chapter 10 Verse 28:
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in he!!.
What was it that Oprah called Obama again? The One?
Video: Kids at Jesus Camp Worship to Bush Photo
This is some pretty creepy stuff.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2006/09/18/video-kids-at-jesus-camp_n_29703.html
I read the one only true Testament of our Lord Jesus Christ, who was infallible Lord....sm
and I am not, and thank you for calling attention to that; I was paraphrasing Paul in his letter to the Hebrews, but my point is still from my heart, the deceptions that went on during the former administration are still causing ruin and death as we speak, and if you chose laugh at me, that is fine, The flamers on this board love to feign superiority, which I belive is against the Bible as Pride, one of the 7 deadly sins, no? I was asking if posters who want to make inflammatory, ridulous remarks could just TRY to confine their comments and posts to pure facts, and then political discussions can bear fruit and have some intelligence and merit. I am working hard as I am writing this, so forgive me if distracted. It is all just noise, rhetoric, and one-upmanship otherwise, while the country crumbles further. Thanks for correcting me, I will double check Mr. Dunniger's quotes.
Thank you Democrat
you are right. I'm wasting my time here.
Well said, Democrat! Well said.
Applauding. 
Thank you, Democrat
My fingers are crossed too, Democrat...I hope and pray for all of us that our country can repair itself..I have always been an optimist in life, until the last few years..Yes, I will think optimistically..with hope in my heart..Thank you for your post..you are so kind..
Same to you, Democrat!
Hope you had the best day ever! 
Thanks, Democrat.
I've been following this case and have written to the Governor in protest. Someone has to care about America's children. It's obvious this particular judge doesn't.
Thanks, Democrat.
He raises some very interesting points, doesn't he? I'm glad, too, that he wasn't fired. I wish somebody like him (or he) WOULD run for President because I'd vote for him, as well. After our invasion of Iraq, how DO other countries know they won't be next, and why wouldn't they want to protect themselves from an unwanted, uncalled-for American invasion?
We need someone who can straighten out America and make it a much better place and lead by example so other countries WANT to be like us, rather than having our form of *freedom* forced upon them.
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