I really should add.....
Posted By: A.Nonymous on 2009-03-04
In Reply to: You did a wonderful thing, and I agree with your ultimatums, but....psm - Cyndiee
.....that in determining how much SSDI my friend will receive, Social Security has taken into account that her very existense is being *subsidized* by me, and have set her monthly amount very low. She should also be getting a couple of thousand dollars in back payments (dated to when she applied last fall). But the county is already garnishing that for every penny they have doled out to her for medications, counseling and even an ambulance ride and a night in psych lockup she had (early on in the process) when she lost it and started crying hysterically in a social worker's office. Not sure whether they will cut off the food stamps or make her reimburse for those.
But the good news is that for the last couple of months she has beem able at least to bring a little food to the table, which has boosted her self-esteem immeasurably. She says she feels bad about accepting charity and being on the government dole. I've tried to reassure her that these are benefits she has earned, by paying into Social Security for about 26 years, This was before she went into a civil service job (which provided the disability pension she used to have.) And she's paid federal and state income taxes as well as local sales tax. She really has fallen into a crack here. Not quite enough recent Social Security participation, government pension system has thrown her out. It is a real mess.
It's hard to be thought of as a meanie for having to make her go through all this. But the situation could not continue as it was going. I could not bear the thought that in 10 years she would still be wringing her hands, unable to go forward, me responsible for everything. So I did a very difficult thing. I had to hurt her to help her. As I said, I hope we can heal our friendship and go on from here.
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