Humor? Wisdom? To be called a
Posted By: girlfriday on 2008-09-03
In Reply to: Wisdom and humor too. A winning combination. - Just like vision+experience (Obama/Biden).nm
"babe," "skirt" is humorous? Wisdom???? Where is the so-called wisdom in that sexist remark? But of course Lush will get away with it.... he's too valuable to the pubnuts!! Disgraceful is what it is!!!!
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Wisdom and humor too. A winning combination.
nm
Aw, the voice of wisdom.
x
Sage wisdom
I personally like dandelion greens, wild onions, polk sallat and lots of other wild greens, nuts, berries, pawpaws, wild grapes, wild mushrooms, etc. etc. We'll be fine for awhile.
If you're a "bible kook" count me right there with you. If one needs any more proof, just read the book. Written 2000 years ago, if it isn't true, how could it so accurately predict exactly what is happening? Like the time will come when a person will work all day long just for food for a single day. I don't see that being very far in the future. IMHO wise people are turning to the Bible for instructions. THAT is the only hope we really have.
Please enlighten me with your wisdom.
How do you handle this then? Terrorists who want us dead and will do anything to accomplish that. How do you deal with them? What is the source? Do we all convert to their religion? What? I'm curious as to what your solution is for this mess.
I still would like to see Obama go after the CEOs of these big corporations and banks the pocketed loads of money and walked away from a failing business. Why aren't they being investigated and tried for what they have done? Instead of we going after the past administration even though dems knew what was going on.
As for your information about Mohammed giving info until the harsh interrogations.....there are two sides to this story and until everything is released and looked into, all you go by is what MSNBC says and the rest of us go by facts.
Nancy Pelosi and other dems were brief on these interrogations and they did NOTHING. The government has only allowed part of the information to be unclassified. There is still other information out there that they have not brought to light and seem to be not wanting to bring to light. Wonder why....hmmmm.
The reason behind terrorist attacks is because they are Muslim extremists who believe their religion has called them to rid the world of people who aren't Muslim. No tea and cookies and friendly talks is EVER going to change that.
Yes...please give him some wisdom!
I can't disagree on that one.
More wisdom in his right hand than the whole
.
This pearl of wisdom is brought to you by
someone who proved herself ridiculous 500 posts ago....
experience versus wisdom
to change the downward course of the nation. Haven't you been listening?
Your disrespect for the wisdom of elders
Might try reading up on the brilliant genius that IS Lee Iacocca. Take a look at his photo...84 and looks 20 years younger. Sharp as a tack, as demonstrated by the level of expertise and thorough analysis expressed in the piece he wrote. The smartest thing he said, in essence, was "Dude, where's my country?"
In any cas, your petty, drive-by sound byte is a mere reflection of the same bankrupt leadership he decries, prime example being the tanking McSame.
BTW, here's a few other millionaires who endorse Obama, every single one of the former pubs:
1. Warren Buffet
2. Colon Powell
3. Susan Eisenhower
4. Julie Nixon Eisenhower
5. Senator Lincoln Chafe
6. Gov Linwood Holton (VA)
7. Mayor Richard Riordan (LA CA)
8. Bill Ruckelhaus
9. Douglas Kmiec
10. (Former) Mayor Ed Koch (NY)
11. Ken Adelman
12. General Tony McPeak
13. Donald Capoccia
14. Jackson M. Andrews
15. Richard J. Schwartz
16. Todd Garrett,
17. Michael Smercornish
18. Richard B. Stewart
19. Jim Whitaker
20. Ambassador Thomas Graham Jr
Gourdpainter, I really respect your wisdom. s/m
And I, too, have been having trouble sleeping because of this election as well. I think they call it election burnout. I guess the whole Rev. Wright thing is somewhat concerning, but I find that the positive things about Barack Obama far outweigh that one thing. I watched a brilliant interview with him last night by Rachel Maddow on MSNBC. He addressed so many things: Foreign policy, Afghanistan, that fact that we desperately need to update our infrastructure in this country, roads, bridges, and especially the power grid, as it is one of our major weaknesses for terrorist attack. He has a very definite plan for all of these things that I have never heard anyone else address, and I was very impressed. He made a statement about how the trillion dollar deficit that Bush ran up would not have been so bad had there been something to show for it, if that money had been spent on building up our infrastructure and how China is so far ahead of us on that issue. That interview was definiately the best one I have seen, and it really gave an excellent glimpse into this man and what he hopes to achieve, and just confirmed for me how right he is for this country.
I am putting this election into God's hands. What is meant to be will be. But I am very concerned about the whole election process. There have already been instances of problems with the machines. In West Virginia, the machines were flipping votes from Obama to McCain, and I do anticipate lots more problems like that. It's going to be close either way.
Hang in there, gourdpainter. Hopefully, we'll both be able to get some sleep when this is all over. 
No dear, that would be words of wisdom!!
xx
"The wisdom of the Clinton Presidency..."
ohhhhh to quote reville guffaw guffaw GUFFAW guffaw lol
"There you go." A Reagan-esque pearl of wisdom.
Remarkable how a child's viewpoint can often offer wisdom
nm
And George showed SO MUCH experience and wisdom when he first took office, right?????....sm
He got in on Daddy's coat tails and by and large had Daddy's former administration aides and cabinet members calling the shots and try to cover his idiocy. When is everyone coming out of denial about this past administration?
Good thing we have PSYCHIC wisdom on the board
:-(
...even 'more' wisdom to outsmart you envious pubs...nm
nm
You should explain your wisdom to Harold Ford and John Tanner.
These lawmakers obviously have no idea what it truly means.
The way I read it is as nothing more than a badly worded symbolic gesture of no real significance other than to *express the sense of Congress.*
You're entitled to agree with the lone 19 Republicans regarding our troops.
I choose to agree with the vast majority who are *expressing* that they support our troops, particularly Ford and Tanner, whose comments are below.
Ford and Tanner said they strongly support the troops. But they noted that current Iraqi government leaders reportedly are considering granting amnesty to Iraqis who killed U.S. troops as acts of resistance and defense of their homeland. They cannot support a government that would grant such amnesty, Ford and Tanner said in written statements.
Ford, a U.S. Senate candidate, called the Republican resolution a gimmick that fails to recognize that 'stay the course' is not working and that amnesty for terrorists is unforgivable.
Don't agree. We trust God for Wisdom, Strength, and health in our govenment.....sm
BUT that does not mean that there should not be a separation in church/state. We can trust in the Lord and pray for our nation, but is is up to us, as keepers of this nation, to work hard, to strive to appoint the right people, to try to defend the constitution, not just in war, but in peace. By becoming a UNITED nation once again, because we are being destroyed more quickly from within....the terrorist are loving it and will not have to do much to make this nation fall, if we do not use wisdom, discernment, and love, once the whole economy has collapsed and there is more and more crime, chaos, despair, etc., there won't be much the terrorists will have to do for our downfall...and there won't be much to gain from this country, either, if it sinks that low, IMHO
Okay, now, how about some humor?
The flooding was so bad in Washington that New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin called the president and said, 'You're on your own pal.' --Jay Leno
Today Warren Buffett announced he's giving away his multi-billion dollar fortune to charity rather than leaving it to his kids. He said he doesn't believe someone's son should inherit his father's position in society. Today President Bush had him put under surveillance. --Jay Leno
President Bush will not concede that global warming may have something to do with this crazy weather though he has been conducting all official business wearing floaties. --Jimmy Kimmel
Bad times on the East Coast as much of Washington, D.C. is flooded. Several government agencies had to close down including the Justice Department, the IRS and the National Zoo. FEMA headquarters floated away. --Jimmy Kimmel
The Census Bureau revealed today that Las Vegas is about to pass Washington, D.C. in population. The big difference between Las Vegas and D.C., of course, is that in Las Vegas people gamble with their own money. --Jay Leno
Rush Limbaugh was detained at Palm Beach International Airport today for alleged possession of prescription drugs that didn't have his name on them. The news reports said he had prescriptions with two different doctors' names on them. One of the drugs was Viagra. Actually, the reason that he flies with Viagra is because if helps to prevent the person sitting in front of him from reclining his seat too far back. --Jimmy Kimmel
Heavy rains caused so much flooding in Washington, D.C. today that they had to close down the National Archives where they keep the Constitution. They had to close it down. Luckily the Bush administration isn't using the Constitution anymore. --Jay Leno
They also had flooding at the Internal Revenue Service and had to close that down. They said some records may have been lost. Good. --Jay Leno
He hasn't been affected by the rain. He's been able to get around just fine on the presidential boogie board, Cowabunga One. --Jimmy Kimmel
A 140 year-old tree on the White House grounds fell over. The minute the tree fell over President Bush wasted no time in blaming it on the New York Times. --Jay Leno
Do you know this story? Today President Bush criticized the New York Times for revealing a government program to spy on people's bank accounts. President Bush defended it. Bush said, 'If you want to figure out what bad people are doing, follow the money.' He's right. That's how we got Tom DeLay. --Jay Leno
a little BC humor
Since we've finished the presidential campaign, I figured some political humor might be in store. In a government class in a Sante Fe high school, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States . It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural-born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural-born citizen. In short, her opinion was this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by asking...
"What makes a natural-born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by c-section?"
A little Friday Humor
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, What are all those clocks?
St. Peter answered,Those are Lie-Clocks.
Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on
your clock will move.
Oh, said the man, whose clock is that?
That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.
Incredible, said the man. And whose clock is that one?
St. Peter responded, That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire
life.
Where's Bush's clock? asked the man.
Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.
Some humor for my liberal
http://folksongsofthefarrightwing.cf.huffingtonpost.com/
I must have missed the humor in this.
And you must have missed that on a daily basis, the far left have developed a gang mentality where all the usual rules have been thrown aside. You aren't debating here, you realize? I could go on, but I won't. There is no point.
Would someone please explain the humor in this?
Is this an example of conservative humor (since the conservative talk show below wants to be the first to air it)? Apparently (but not surprisingly), Michele Malkin is a huge fan and wants this song recorded. I agree with his First Amendment rights and think he should be allowed to record it, regardless of how obscene the lyrics are. I can't post the lyrics here because of the profanity, but they can be found at http://www.blackfive.net/main/2006/06/hadji_girl.html
Sorry, but I don't get the *joke*. 
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20060704/D8IKSGI80.html
Jul 3, 9:44 PM (ET)
RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) - A Marine who wrote and performed a song about killing members of an Iraqi family has temporarily shelved the tune, a record producer said Monday.
Cpl. Joshua Belile planned to record Hadji Girl with Hits Music Studios, and the conservative talk program The Mike Church Show planned to be the first to air it, said Jimm Mosher, co-owner of the North Carolina studio. But the 23-year-old Iraq veteran nixed the plans late last week, he said.
We got a call from him and he just said he couldn't do the recording at this time, Mosher said. I was led to believe that he had it from high command that he wasn't to record the song.
Neither Belile nor the Marines returned phone messages Monday evening.
Hadji Girl surfaced in a four-minute video on the Internet. In the clip, Belile sings about a Marine who falls in love with an Iraqi woman and then encounters hostility from her family. Relatives kill the woman, prompting the Marine to gun down the family members.
An anonymous person posted the recording on the Web site YouTube, but it has since been removed.
Belile has said his song was intended as a joke.
He did not violate military law, Marine officials said last week. Belile's commanders will handle the matter administratively, which can include informal counseling about his actions.
Belile, assigned to North Carolina's Marine Corps Air Station New River, has said he believes the Marine Corps handled his case fairly.
Mosher said Belile still plans to record the song. Belile has said he will leave the military when his five-year enlistment ends in October 2007.
We're wanting to record and produce it, Mosher said. I think it tells a great story.
A little humor for Wednesday
President Bush was out, riding his bicycle, hit a rock, flew off his bicycle, over a bridge and landed in a lake where three little boys were fishing.
They rushed to save him, and the president was so grateful, he told them they could have anything they wanted in return for saving his life.
The first little boy wanted a trip to Disney World. The president said: No problem. Consider it done. I'll fly you there myself on Air Force One.
The second little boy asked for a new pair of Nike Air Jordans. The president said: No problem. I'll even see to it that Michael Jordan personally autographs them for you.
The third little boy asked for a really fast wheelchair with a big screen TV in front of it and surround sound stereo. The president said: Well, okay, but, son, you don't need a wheelchair.
The little boy said: I don't now, but I will as soon as my dad finds out I saved your butt.
A little humor for the Liberals sm
 He falls off bikes, gets black eyes from pretzels, and nearly flattens his staff with a tractor -- Dubya's middle name should be Clouseau. Wonder if he went to strongarm Caterpillar over their recent acknowledgement of global warming.
The White House announced its visit to a Caterpillar factory in East Peoria, Illinois, yesterday, where President George W. Bush advanced his case for expanding free trade negotiations. But it didn't detail the President's clumsy driving of a giant D-10 tractor that sent the White House press corps and presidential staff scrambling, which was reported at a Newsweek blog.
At The Gaggle, Newsweek reporter Holly Bailey writes that the president clambered into the driver's seat of Caterpillar's giant D10 tractor. I would suggest moving back...I'm about to crank this sucker up, she reports him saying.
But as White House staff started to move the press corps back, the situation became more chaotic. Bailey writes that the tractor lurched forward and White House staff too were forced to scramble for safety. Get out of the way! a news photographer yelled. I think he might run us over!
Bush chuckled about the incident, and referenced driving the tractor during his speech, saying I'm impressed by a culture of excellence and accomplishment that is the spirit of Caterpillar. I also appreciate the chance to drive a D10. If you've never driven a D10 -- (laughter) -- it's a cool experience. (Laughter), according to the White House website.
Bailey looked less fondly upon Bush's test drive of the D-10. Yeah, almost as much fun as seeing your life flash before your eyes, she wrote in response to the president's remark about his cool experience.
yep - black humor
Actually, I thought it was hilarious when he said it.......but I'm a pretty easy going, laid back person. I saw the comedy in it.
we will need our sense of humor
and some solar panels for this next chapter.
for sweetpea: I like your humor .....
...sucking on those sour grapes. It boiled down to this.
Go, Obama.
Get a sense of humor. n/m
x
Political humor
Subject: Will Obama get Osama, or will Osama get Obama?
After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if Osama is still
alive', Barrack Hussein Obama has now been telling everyone he will
capture Osama Bin Laden when elected.
So, Osama himself decided to send Barrack Hussein Obama a letter in
his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.
Obama opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded
message:
370H-SSV-0773H
Obama was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Howard Dean.
Dean and the DNC and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it
to Joe Biden.
Joe Biden could not solve so it was sent to the FBI and the CIA.
Eventually they asked John McCain and his Staff to look at it.
And within minutes McCain's Staff e-mailed Obama with this reply:
'Tell Obama he's holding the message upside down'.
GET A SENSE OF HUMOR!!!!! nm
Love this humor....
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/obama_win_causes_obsessive
some political humor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzlIm_T8xjM&feature=channel
Political humor
YOU MIGHT BE AN OBOT IF…
You’ve never paid any attention to politics until Obama ran for President, and now you’ve become a political expert by reading Huffington Post and/or Daily Kos.
You feel tingles running up or down your legs when That One is orating.
You get called a Cheetoh a lot but you don’t know why.
You believe there are only about 200 PUMAs in the country.
You weep with joy while repeating the mantra “YES WE CAN!”
You think Hillary Clinton tried to “steal” the Democratic nomination.
You fly into a rage when anyone suggests Obama is unqualified for the presidency.
You’ve used the word “racist” more than any other word in the last year.
You’ve developed a keen interest in Hawaiian body surfing.
For the first time in your life, you are proud of your country, but only because it elected a black president.
You believe that with Obama as president, this is a New Age when all wars will end, everyone will be provided for, and you don’t have to worry about paying your mortgage anymore!
You think Obama is a Great Man because of his magnificent accomplishments … like getting elected, and uh, uh, uh…
You think all Hillary Clinton supporters are middle-aged lesbians (not that there’s anything… yada yada yada… )
You get a lump in your throat when you hear the words “President Obama.”
You get a lump in your pants when you see Michelle Obama.
You think Bill Ayers was a non-issue, and was done wrong by the evil media.
You plan to name your children Barack and Baracka.
You believe that saying his middle name is racist.
You think the political platform of “change” is original to Obama.
You believe PUMAs are Republicans pretending to be disaffected Democrats, kind of like Joe Lieberman.
Political humor
YOU MIGHT BE AN OBOT IF…
You’ve never paid any attention to politics until Obama ran for President, and now you’ve become a political expert by reading Huffington Post and/or Daily Kos.
You feel tingles running up or down your legs when That One is orating.
You get called a Cheetoh a lot but you don’t know why.
You believe there are only about 200 PUMAs in the country.
You weep with joy while repeating the mantra “YES WE CAN!”
You think Hillary Clinton tried to “steal” the Democratic nomination.
You fly into a rage when anyone suggests Obama is unqualified for the presidency.
You’ve used the word “racist” more than any other word in the last year.
You’ve developed a keen interest in Hawaiian body surfing.
For the first time in your life, you are proud of your country, but only because it elected a black president.
You believe that with Obama as president, this is a New Age when all wars will end, everyone will be provided for, and you don’t have to worry about paying your mortgage anymore!
You think Obama is a Great Man because of his magnificent accomplishments … like getting elected, and uh, uh, uh…
You think all Hillary Clinton supporters are middle-aged lesbians (not that there’s anything… yada yada yada… )
You get a lump in your throat when you hear the words “President Obama.”
You get a lump in your pants when you see Michelle Obama.
You think Bill Ayers was a non-issue, and was done wrong by the evil media.
You plan to name your children Barack and Baracka.
You believe that saying his middle name is racist.
You think the political platform of “change” is original to Obama.
You believe PUMAs are Republicans pretending to be disaffected Democrats, kind of like Joe Lieberman.
Political humor
YOU MIGHT BE AN OBOT IF…
You’ve never paid any attention to politics until Obama ran for President, and now you’ve become a political expert by reading Huffington Post and/or Daily Kos.
You feel tingles running up or down your legs when That One is orating.
You get called a Cheetoh a lot but you don’t know why.
You believe there are only about 200 PUMAs in the country.
You weep with joy while repeating the mantra “YES WE CAN!”
You think Hillary Clinton tried to “steal” the Democratic nomination.
You fly into a rage when anyone suggests Obama is unqualified for the presidency.
You’ve used the word “racist” more than any other word in the last year.
You’ve developed a keen interest in Hawaiian body surfing.
For the first time in your life, you are proud of your country, but only because it elected a black president.
You believe that with Obama as president, this is a New Age when all wars will end, everyone will be provided for, and you don’t have to worry about paying your mortgage anymore!
You think Obama is a Great Man because of his magnificent accomplishments … like getting elected, and uh, uh, uh…
You think all Hillary Clinton supporters are middle-aged lesbians (not that there’s anything… yada yada yada… )
You get a lump in your throat when you hear the words “President Obama.”
You get a lump in your pants when you see Michelle Obama.
You think Bill Ayers was a non-issue, and was done wrong by the evil media.
You plan to name your children Barack and Baracka.
You believe that saying his middle name is racist.
You think the political platform of “change” is original to Obama.
You believe PUMAs are Republicans pretending to be disaffected Democrats, kind of like Joe Lieberman.
Now THIS is humor at its finest.
It's just plain ordinary, dull and, well, stupid.
More political humor...(sm)
http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=215336&title=President-Goofus-and-President-Gallant---Peer-Pressers
Political humor
This made me laugh. Hope it does others too. We all need some humor in our day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWTCIpT1j7U&feature=related
Political humor
On July 8, 1947, almost exactly 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object with five aliens aboard crashed into a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies.
However, what you may not know is that the month of March 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:
Albert Gore
Hillary Rodham Clinton
John F. Kerry
William Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles Shummer
Barbara Boxer
Oh come on, you cannot let humor back up
in your system. It has to come out.
Political humor
I don't think this is specif to either party. It's just funny as anything. I had tears watching this I laughed so hard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0O0wl_UaU8
A little Friday humor for liberals ONLY, as
You Know You Are Still a Republican If ...
A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION
by Jimmy Lohman
You are more upset about Brokeback Mountain than Abu Ghraib.
You can’t stand Hilary Clinton’s hair but you have no problem with Tom DeLay’s.
You think Global Warming is no big deal but environmentalists are a major problem.
You support the war on drugs but think Rush Limbaugh is being prosecuted unfairly.
You think professional athletes make too much money but Sam Walton’s kids deserve everything they have.
You like the way George Bush walks.
You think Al Gore is wooden and Donald Rumsfeld has charisma.
You think CNN is biased but Fox News is neutral.
You like the sound of Newt Gingrich’s voice.
You are sure the United States has the best education and health care systems in the world.
You think Dick Cheney is a straight shooter.
You think Michael Chertoff’s beard makes him look distinguished.
You think the problem with our health care system is lawyers.
You think it was more important to locate Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress than to locate weapons of mass destruction.
You don’t believe terrorism has made Rudy Giuliani an incredibly rich man.
You believe freedom of speech covers everything Pat Robertson says and does, but burning a flag should be illegal.
You can be in the same room with Brit Hume.
You have yourself convinced that the country and world are better off now than 5 years ago.
A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION
Jimmy Lohman is a musician and human rights lawyer in Austin, Texas, and an occasional contributor to Buzzflash
A jump on Friday humor
Now that the Enron slimeballs have gotten theirs, a look back at some old late-night jabs:
This past Sunday, former Enron CEO Ken Lay went to a church in Houston. On the way out, a reporter asked him how he thought it was going to work out. Lay said with God's help we'll get through it. To which the Devil said, 'Hey, I thought we had a deal.' —Jay Leno
In Houston this week they had an auction for Enron. They sold all kinds of things that were once property of Enron. Lots of good deals — in fact I picked up 2 senators and a congressman. Hell of a deal. —Jay Leno
Playboy magazine is now doing a 'Women of Enron' pictorial spread. ... Apparently the only thing these women have left to shred is their dignity. —Jay Leno
Playgirl magazine is now offering the men of Enron a chance to post nude. Coincidentally, the men of Enron will soon be getting the same offer from their cellmates. —Conan O'Brien
President Bush revealed today there is a shadow government run by people who live outside of Washington in bunkers in case Washington was ever attacked. I thought the shadow government was the one Enron bought with all those contributions. —Jay Leno
Are you getting a big kick out of the Enron scandal? I find this interesting that whenever a big crisis starts, people start showing up in church. So, Ken Lay shows up in church this weekend. Church officials are still looking for the collection plates. —David Letterman
The wife of Enron CEO Kenneth Lay, Linda Lay, was on the 'Today' show yesterday. She said her husband is an honest, moral man who has done nothing wrong. And today Hillary Clinton said, 'You go, girl! ...She went on to say they've lost all their money. Luckily, they've still got plenty of everybody else's money.' —Jay Leno
Playgirl magazine is planning a pictorial spread for the men of Enron. You thought they were hiding massive deficits before. —Dennis Miller
The White House is sending Vice President Dick Cheney to the Middle East this month. You get the feeling that President Bush's opinion of Cheney has changed since the Enron thing broke? You know a few weeks ago, all they would say about Cheney is that he was in a safe, undisclosed location. He's hidden away. As soon as Enron popped up, they sent him to the most dangerous place in the world. —Jay Leno
The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done. —Dennis Miller
Some members of Congress now are complaining they are underpaid. They want to propose a pay raise. You can't blame them. A lot of them took a big income hit when Enron folded. —Jay Leno
Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling appeared before Congress. Do you think they even bothered swearing him in? Now he is denying he lied to Congress last week. He's saying it was just the liquor talking. —Jay Leno
The CEO of Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, married one of the Enron secretaries this week. It's amazing how romantic these Enron guys can be when they realize that wives can't be forced to testify against their husbands. Skilling said today she was the best secretary Enron had ever had. She could shred 950 words a minute. ... I guess they are on their honeymoon right now. That's going pretty well. Hey, he's used to screwing Enron employees. —Jay Leno
Over the weekend, former Enron executives Jeffrey Skilling and Rebecca Carter married each other during a huge ceremony in Houston. The happy couple is planning to honeymoon for three weeks in front of Congress. —Conan O'Brien
The Houston Astros want to change the name of Enron Field where they play. I guess the Enron name could cause problems for them. Like players could steal a base and then deny it. —Jay Leno
In the Enron scandal, whistleblower Sherron Watkins is now calling herself Enron Brokovitch. She testified Ken Lay was duped by the other executives. Oh, yeah. When is the last time you got duped and made $100 million? —Jay Leno
A lot of Congressmen yesterday were upset when Kenneth Lay took the Fifth. Lay said it wasn't his fault. He had planned on testifying, but when Jeffrey Skilling testified, he took all the really good lies. —Jay Leno
There are reports that former Enron CEO Ken Lay is missing. And I'm thinking, has somebody checked Dick Cheney's pockets? —David Letterman
President Bush revealed today there is a shadow government run by people who live outside of Washington in bunkers in case Washington was ever attacked. I thought the shadow government was the one Enron bought with all those contributions. —Jay Leno
The Enron scandal continues. The U.S. Senate has announced they are going to subpoena Ken Lay and make him testify. Apparently Lay received the subpoena this morning and then, out of habit, immediately shredded it. —Conan O'Brien
Today the United States has admitted that after months and months of searching, we still have no idea where Osama bin Laden is. Osama bin Laden? We can't even find Kenneth Lay. —Jay Leno
I did not have political relations with that man, Ken Lay. —Sen. Fritz Hollings (D-S.C.), poking fun at Bush for distancing himself from Enron
The big rumor going around is, we may begin bombing Iraq. Or, as the White House calls it, Operation Keep Enron Off The Front Page. —Jay Leno
Dick Cheney finally responded today to demands that he reveal the details of the Enron meetings. This is what he said. He met with unnamed people, from unspecified companies, for an indeterminate amount of time at an undisclosed location. Thank God he cleared that up. I'm ready to move on. —Jay Leno
It turns out Enron workers were not only shredding documents at work, they were having sex at work. Having sex and shredding documents. Those are two things you don't want to get mixed up. —Jay Leno
It was cold today. I was rubbing my hands together more than Dick Cheney at an Enron payday. —Jay Leno
Enron is now officially out of the energy business. They are now in a new business: confetti. —Jay Leno
Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied-up in Enron stock? —Dennis Miller
Friday Humor: I think we need this (may be a repost) sm
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying: Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.
OH NO! the President exclaims. That's terrible!
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, How many is a brazillion?
That is actually a political humor web page. sm
http://buckfush.com/
Another conserv without a sense of humor?
Is it a common trait?
April Fools humor...
Deleted by Moderator - very inappropriate.
or perhaps u r a person w/no sense of humor!
nm
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