Funny political article

When I first read this I thought they were once again ripping at Obama until I kept reading.  It's funny.

From an unknown writer.

After long and serious thought, I have decided to endorse Senator John McCain for President.  I have always voted for the person and have not voted for anyone because some political party was telling me who I should vote for.

We all know the choices by now and, that said, I do believe that the process of selecting a chief executive is deeply flawed. The words 'money' and 'special interests' come to mind, among many others.

Here's the way I see it:

Barack Obama, you are a fine public speaker. You are also an extremely liberal Senator from the State of Illinois , which has a long and rich history of political corruption of the first magnitude. You are indeed a child of that system.

You have finally insulted my intelligence far beyond my capacity to tolerate your insults. It has nothing at all to do with your skin color. As a matter of fact, it would be so COOL to finally have an African-American for President. What a great statement that would be to the entire world that we are indeed the greatest country on earth!

But, unfortunately, General Colin Powell is not running, and YOU are NOT the man for this job !

Barack baby, you want me to believe that you have never heard the sermons of your own pastor, the Right Reverend 'God Damn America' Jeremiah Wright. It is a matter of record that this has been your church for over 20 years. It is a matter of record that you were married there by this very pastor, and that your children were baptized there.

The good Reverend saw fit to visit Khadafy in Libya with you and to give a lifetime achievement award to Louis Farrakhan, of all people.

We have all now seen excerpts of his sermons all over the airwaves by now. And you have publicly stated that this man IS your 'spiritual mentor'.

BUT, your pastor is NOT the reason I am NOT voting for you. His words were disturbing enough, but it is your own HUGE church congregation, seen jumping, hooting and howling to his words in the background that disturb me the most. And please don't tell me you attended church there and never once heard a 'discouraging word' in the 20 years you attended there. Don't tell me, that in addition to the good reverend, that you are now not having anything to do with all those other people seen hooting and howling out in the audience in the background of his fiery tirades.

Even Oprah Winfrey got disgusted and walked out. I am no Oprah fan, but still she did the right thing.

Now YOU look me in the eye and ask me to believe that you never heard such language in all the years you attended there ! This is like me telling you that I attended dozens of Klan rallys and never once heard the 'N' word. Yep. And Bill Clinton 'did not inhale'.

Yes, Mr. Obama, we all have friends who have said stupid things that embarrassed us, but NOW you have asked me to believe something that is so incredibly stupid that you are telling me that I am just stupid enough to believe you. THAT is the main reason that I will never vote for you. I am deeply sorry, that in a county teeming with enormously talented African Americans who would make a good President, that the political system has chosen YOU. You are a pathetic and plastic excuse for an American, who will not even salute the Flag during the Pledge of Allegiance. God forbid you ever get near the Oval Office.

Now, did I mention Bill Clinton ?

AH YES ! This brings us to MRS. WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON, who this candidate really is, in spite of all the other names she may care to call herself. This 'feminist' piece of work of course would like to be referred to as MS. And we all know who wears the pant suit in that family.

MS. Clinton, it is just as depressing to realize that there are dozens of women who would also make great Presidents. But, unfortunately, the horrible state of the selection process has selected YOU.  Ms. Clinton, I'm sorry, but you could not tell the truth if we waterboarded your worthless ass !

Still you play the role of the 'embarrassed but dignified noble wife'. What utter malarky ! I am not voting for you for a world of reasons, but the main one is the same as my not voting for Senator Obama. You persistently insult my intelligence. It COULD be conceivably possible that you did not know about Monica Lewinsky, extremely remote, but possible if we stretch our imaginations a bit. But you turn around and then ask me to believe that you also did not know about Paula Jones and the legion of other women who were chewed up and spit out by your lecherous excuse for a husband. Puleese turn off this broken record !!!

But let's set aside your hubby's flagrant pecadillos. The real reason I will never vote for you is that I don't think the country can survive EIGHT MORE YEARS of Whitewater, Travelgate, Filegate, Sandy Berger stuffing his socks with classified intelligence, Janet Reno's goon squad, and the myriad other corruptions that seem to stick to you like your ugly face. So our former President can't keep his his pants zipped. The REAL issue is that he committed perjury under oath when he lied about it and the pathetically-attempted coverup that followed.

Like you, he is totally incapable of telling the truth. He could not do it if you tortured him, and in voting for you, we would get the BOTH of you, all over again. The same folks who could have taken out Osama Bin Laden over 3,000 dead Americans ago !

And please stop telling me that you have Ǝ years of experience' to lead us. You were the freakin' first lady already, not the Commander in Chief. Jeez ! The sum of your 'experience' is that of the most worrisome and incompetent meddling in the history of the White House. You even cursed your pitiful staff and the Secret Service agents who were and still are unfortunately charged with risking their lives to protect your worthless, thieving hide, and all at the expense of other people who have to work for a living.

Your single pathetic platform is to finance the illegal drugs, alcoholism and bad habits of the very lowest and most irresponsible freeloaders in America and to then 'garnish the wages' (your own words) of every law-abiding and hard-working American to pay for it. This disaster you refer to as 'Universal Health Care'. Where have you been the last 30 years ? Did you not see that socialism is a failure wherever it has been tried ? Did you not notice that the Soviet Union has collapsed since it gave no reward to those who worked the hardest for the fruits of their own labors to pay for those who will not ??

It is interesting to see all the dead bodies that you and your hubby have left in your wake. Suicides, mysterious deaths, cover-ups that make Richard Nixon look like a rank amateur. The utter contempt and unbelievable arrogance of some of your strongest supporters, most notably the recently resigned and disgraced Governor Eliot Spitzer, the epitome of hypocritical and malevolent arrogance gone wild, one of your most ardent, wealthy and powerful political supporters. A man the news media refuses to admit IS a 'super delegate' in your own political machine, a fine example of your own 'adopted' state of New York . No wonder you moved there to run for Senator ! The environment there is perfect for the likes of you !

Yes, I would vote for a woman, but I will NOT vote for YOU !

Which leaves us with Senator John McCain.

John, you are a flawed man. You are old, a bit looney, and you have a notoriously bad temper. This perfectly qualifies you, in my humble opinion, to lead us for the next eight years. I WANT your trembling hand on the nuclear button.

Think about it.

We have Kim Jong IL, Chavez and Ahmadenijad all running around like lunatics, threatening America and threatening to plunge the world into nuclear Armageddon. We have Putin and the Chinese blustering and rattling their sabres at us. I want John McCain in the Oval Office and I want him to be really pi**ssed off at all these other nut jobs around the planet.

John, once you are elected, I want you to go into the Oval Office and throw one of your perfect FITS. Jump up and down and throw something through a plate glass window. Rip the drapes down and foam at the mouth. And I want the whole thing on camera so that Ahmadinejad can see it. I want ALL of these 'world leaders' to lay awake at night and to break out in a cold sweat every time they think of messing with the United States of America .

I want the nuclear button sitting right next to the alarm clock on your night stand. I want pictures of this to be sent to Iran , Russia , China , Venezuela , Cuba , Libya , Syria , Pakistan , and those other a-holes in the sheets, the Saudis.

On the domestic front, poor John did try and reach across the aisle to the opposition in a desperate effort to compromise and to get the Congress to do something. You may not agree with his efforts, but at least he TRIED. For all his efforts, all he got handed to him was his head in a basket. The liberals are pi**ssed at him and the conservatives are pi**ssed at him. Just my kinda guy.

I predict that John will select Senator Joe Lieberman as his running mate. Good choice. I want a JEW whose memory of the Holocaust is still fresh in his mind and who is royally pi**ssed off at all of these towel-headed morons in the Middle East to be the next in line if something should happen to John. Shalom, Vice President Joe. One heartbeat from the Oval Office.

Finally. John McCain knows on a most personal level what it is to suffer horrible torture for years and to see others die, right in front of you, for their love of America .  When you ask him about it, he will tell you that what he did was 'nothing special'. Even more incredibly, he states that ANY American who truly loves his country would do exactly the same as he did in that situation. You and I will have a hard time believing that, but the real point is that John McCain believes that about the 'average American', and that, dear friends and neighbors, is why I will cast my one ballot on election day for John McCain -- warts and all.

• Funny political article - anon
  • So funny and true! - nm
  • This is SO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!! - MT and worn out
    • awww come on lighten up - Emily Ayn

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There are many Democrats who belong to the Christian right.  I am not sure why you feel politicizing religion is so important, but I realize how important labels are to you.  It's unfortunate.  Jimmy Carter just recently came out and spoke against the Democratic party for abandoning God.  If Christians feel they have to place to turn but the *right*, whose fault is that?   Pat Robertson doesn't speak for me.  However, he is a good man and a Christian man.  As far as calling for an assassination that's bogus and was taken out of context and anyone who cared to do their research would know that.  But it's just way more convenient and fits into the left's philosophy to damn him to hell.  THERE' s the left for you.

affiliation of serial killers.  Sigh.  What do you think Osama bin Laden would register as if he could register to vote....ummmm....don't think it would be with the Christian right.....?  Are we going to try to list the perverts and see whose list is the longest?  Why even post this, when you have cigar-wielding Bill Clinton on your list?  Do you honestly think this man in the bathroom did what he did because he is a Republican?  If so, that means Billy must have wielded the cigar because he is a Democrat....?

I repeat...why even post this?

))

 Subject: Will Obama get Osama, or will Osama get Obama?
 
 
After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if Osama is still 
alive', Barrack Hussein Obama has now been telling everyone he will 
capture Osama Bin Laden when elected.

So, Osama himself decided to send Barrack Hussein Obama a letter in 
his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Obama opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded
message:

370H-SSV-0773H

Obama was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Howard Dean.

Dean and the DNC and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it 
to Joe Biden.

Joe Biden could not solve so it was sent to the FBI and the CIA.

Eventually they asked John McCain and his Staff to look at it.

And within minutes McCain's Staff e-mailed Obama with this reply:

'Tell Obama he's holding the message upside down'.

OMG! Get ready for a big shock by one certain individual who made the list!

Top 10 political newcomers of 2008
By: Alexander Burns
January 3, 2009 07:09 PM EST

Even in a year dominated by oversized political personalities — Barack Obama, Hillary Rodham Clinton and John McCain chief among them — a few lesser-known newcomers helped define the electoral landscape.

These new arrivals on the national stage — relative unknowns who burst onto the scene, behind-the-scenes players who suddenly took on high-profile roles, politicians who took their act beyond their state’s borders — made 2008 a livelier, more engaging political year and seem likely to continue shaping the political environment for better or for worse.

Gov. Sarah Palin: The Alaska governor was a significant political figure in her own right before 2008, but in the span of just a few months the former Wasilla mayor exploded onto the national scene to become the first woman nominated for national office by the Republican Party and one of the most controversial political figures in the country.

Her introduction to the public wasn’t as smooth as it could have been: After a dazzling performance at the Republican National Convention, a series of campaign-trail missteps diminished Palin’s electoral appeal. But the GOP base never stopped loving Palin, and despite her ticket’s defeat, Palin remains an enormously popular conservative who’s poised to help determine the future of the party.

Caroline Kennedy: The last living child of President John F. Kennedy, the 51-year-old Manhattanite emerged from her famously private lifestyle in late January, writing a New York Times op-ed endorsing Obama for president.

A joint endorsement rally with her uncle, Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.), followed a day later, vaulting Caroline into the front lines of the presidential campaign. After the end of the Democratic primaries, she headed up Obama’s vice presidential selection process with Eric Holder and spoke at the Democratic National Convention.

Now she’s reportedly a leading contender for the Senate seat Clinton will vacate when she takes up her new post at the State Department. Quite a debut, even for a Kennedy.

David Plouffe: An unlikely celebrity, the Obama campaign manager usually attracts distinctly un-glitzy adjectives like “soft-spoken” and “camera-shy.” But as the operations guy behind the Obama phenomenon, Plouffe cultivated a reputation as a no-nonsense political chess master.

Plouffe won’t take a position within the administration, though he may continue to play a role shaping Obama’s movement outside the White House. He is, however, cashing in: he’s already signed on with the Washington Speakers Bureau and is penning a future best-seller, tentatively titled “The Audacity to Win.”

Sen.-elect Kay Hagan (D-N.C.): Few expected this obscure state legislator to have much of a shot against a political titan like Sen. Elizabeth Dole. Sure, Hagan was the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee’s anointed candidate, but most political prognosticators expected her campaign would fall short in the end.

But after winning her party’s nomination in May, Hagan proved an adept fundraiser and relentlessly attacked Dole as an out-of-touch Washington insider. By the fall, Hagan was surging, and when Dole blasted back with ads linking Hagan to an atheist group it backfired. Hagan won by 9 points.

In a non-presidential year, Hagan would likely have attracted more attention as a political giant-killer. Hagan will have to settle for a humbler title: United States senator.

Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.): Like Palin, Corker held high office before 2008. But it wasn’t until the Senate’s showdown over a proposed auto industry bailout that the former Chattanooga mayor distinguished himself as a serious player on the Hill.

Drawing praise from the GOP leader, Sen. Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, as well as from Democrats like Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada and Majority Whip Richard J. Durbin of Illinois, Corker took the lead in shaping the Republican counterproposal to Democrats’ aid plan for Detroit.

His performance over the past month — which even a partisan like Durbin conceded was “magnificent” — makes him one of the few Republicans who looks better after Nov. 4 than he did before, standing out as a possible future leader in a party that’s been largely decapitated.

Meg Whitman: The former ebay CEO left her corporate post only about nine months ago. But thanks to her work on behalf of former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney’s primary campaign, and the McCain-Palin ticket in the general election, Whitman is on her way to becoming a significant national political figure.

Though Palin ultimately took the prize, Whitman was buzzed about for the vice presidency after McCain listed her among the three wisest people he knew (the other two were Gen. David Petraeus and John Lewis, the Democratic congressman and civil rights hero). Whitman also delivered a solid, if unmemorable, speech at the Republican National Convention.

She’s now eyeing the 2010 California governor’s race, and with her business background and deep pockets Whitman has a real shot. If she were elected governor of the most-populous state in the nation, Whitman would immediately be find herself on the short list of Republican presidential contenders.

Beau Biden: During the Democratic convention, few speakers inspired as much on-air swooning as son of the now vice president-elect, Joe Biden. CNN’s David Gergen called Beau Biden’s address a “remarkably good speech” and “a home run.”

The 39-year-old Delaware attorney general's National Guard unit was deployed to Iraq in October. When he comes back, he’ll have the chance to put his famous name to use when his father’s Senate seat comes up for a special election in 2010. He hasn’t said that he’ll seek the job, but Joe Biden made his own preferences clear by engineering the appointment of a placeholder for the seat.

“It is no secret that I believe my son, Attorney General Beau Biden, would make a great United States senator, just as I believe he has been a great attorney general,” Biden said in a statement after his longtime aide, Ted Kaufman, was tapped for the seat in November.

Gov. David Paterson: When Paterson was elected lieutenant governor in 2006, New York’s political class viewed him to be a senator-in-waiting, ready to step up in the event Hillary Rodham Clinton won the presidency. An affable political operator with a wry sense of humor, Paterson was expected to spend a term or two in former Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s shadow until the crusading former prosecutor decided to go national.

That plan didn’t quite work out. Spitzer resigned in disgrace after a personal scandal, leaving Paterson in charge. Paterson, it seems, had a few skeletons of his own in the closet. Fresh off revelations of his own personal indiscretions, Paterson was then confronted by the Wall Street crisis, which has left New York’s budget in a shambles. Now he finds himself at the center of the succession spectacle over Clinton’s soon-to-be-vacant Senate seat.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: This slot might actually be an ensemble prize given to the entire cast of ABC's “The View,” the women’s chat show which emerged this year as morning television’s most entertaining and unlikely forum for political debate.

But if there’s one member of the show’s cast who stood out, it was former “Survivor” contestant-turned-conservative pundit Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

Cut from a different mold than your typical right-of-center talking head, Hasselbeck frequently clashed with her considerably more liberal co-hosts, including the venerable Barbara Walters, by defending the McCain-Palin campaign. In October, Hasselbeck went so far as to campaign with the GOP vice presidential candidate in Florida.

If there were any doubts about her stature as a rising GOP pundit, they were dispelled last week. After complaining on the air that she didn’t receive an invitation this year’s White House Christmas party, Hasselbeck promptly received a apology from the White House. It turned out she had been invited but her invitation did not arrive on time.

Rachel Maddow: Since taking over the 9 p.m. slot on MSNBC, Maddow has posted strong ratings by finally giving liberal cable-watchers the show they’ve always wanted. Less combative than Chris Matthews and less self-righteous than Keith Olbermann, the former Rhodes Scholar has defined herself as a thoughtful, sharp — and sharp-tongued — host who presents her perspective on the news without being cranky, gimmicky and repetitive.

For Maddow, as for all liberal commentators, the question is how she’ll keep her audience engaged without the Bush administration serving as a foil. Judging from her quick start, it’s a good bet she’ll figure out a way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzlIm_T8xjM&feature=channel

YOU MIGHT BE AN OBOT IF…

You’ve never paid any attention to politics until Obama ran for President, and now you’ve become a political expert by reading Huffington Post and/or Daily Kos.

You get called a Cheetoh a lot but you don’t know why.

You believe there are only about 200 PUMAs in the country.

You weep with joy while repeating the mantra “YES WE CAN!”

You think Hillary Clinton tried to “steal” the Democratic nomination.

You fly into a rage when anyone suggests Obama is unqualified for the presidency.

You’ve used the word “racist” more than any other word in the last year.

You’ve developed a keen interest in Hawaiian body surfing.

For the first time in your life, you are proud of your country, but only because it elected a black president.

You believe that with Obama as president, this is a New Age when all wars will end, everyone will be provided for, and you don’t have to worry about paying your mortgage anymore!

You think Obama is a Great Man because of his magnificent accomplishments … like getting elected, and uh, uh, uh…

You think all Hillary Clinton supporters are middle-aged lesbians (not that there’s anything… yada yada yada… )

You get a lump in your throat when you hear the words “President Obama.”

You get a lump in your pants when you see Michelle Obama.

You think Bill Ayers was a non-issue, and was done wrong by the evil media.

You plan to name your children Barack and Baracka.

You believe that saying his middle name is racist.

You think the political platform of “change” is original to Obama.

You believe PUMAs are Republicans pretending to be disaffected Democrats, kind of like Joe Lieberman.

YOU MIGHT BE AN OBOT IF…

You’ve never paid any attention to politics until Obama ran for President, and now you’ve become a political expert by reading Huffington Post and/or Daily Kos.

You get called a Cheetoh a lot but you don’t know why.

You believe there are only about 200 PUMAs in the country.

You weep with joy while repeating the mantra “YES WE CAN!”

You think Hillary Clinton tried to “steal” the Democratic nomination.

You fly into a rage when anyone suggests Obama is unqualified for the presidency.

You’ve used the word “racist” more than any other word in the last year.

You’ve developed a keen interest in Hawaiian body surfing.

For the first time in your life, you are proud of your country, but only because it elected a black president.

You believe that with Obama as president, this is a New Age when all wars will end, everyone will be provided for, and you don’t have to worry about paying your mortgage anymore!

You think Obama is a Great Man because of his magnificent accomplishments … like getting elected, and uh, uh, uh…

You think all Hillary Clinton supporters are middle-aged lesbians (not that there’s anything… yada yada yada… )

You get a lump in your throat when you hear the words “President Obama.”

You get a lump in your pants when you see Michelle Obama.

You think Bill Ayers was a non-issue, and was done wrong by the evil media.

You plan to name your children Barack and Baracka.

You believe that saying his middle name is racist.

You think the political platform of “change” is original to Obama.

You believe PUMAs are Republicans pretending to be disaffected Democrats, kind of like Joe Lieberman.

YOU MIGHT BE AN OBOT IF…

You’ve never paid any attention to politics until Obama ran for President, and now you’ve become a political expert by reading Huffington Post and/or Daily Kos.

You get called a Cheetoh a lot but you don’t know why.

You believe there are only about 200 PUMAs in the country.

You weep with joy while repeating the mantra “YES WE CAN!”

You think Hillary Clinton tried to “steal” the Democratic nomination.

You fly into a rage when anyone suggests Obama is unqualified for the presidency.

You’ve used the word “racist” more than any other word in the last year.

You’ve developed a keen interest in Hawaiian body surfing.

For the first time in your life, you are proud of your country, but only because it elected a black president.

You believe that with Obama as president, this is a New Age when all wars will end, everyone will be provided for, and you don’t have to worry about paying your mortgage anymore!

You think Obama is a Great Man because of his magnificent accomplishments … like getting elected, and uh, uh, uh…

You think all Hillary Clinton supporters are middle-aged lesbians (not that there’s anything… yada yada yada… )

You get a lump in your throat when you hear the words “President Obama.”

You get a lump in your pants when you see Michelle Obama.

You think Bill Ayers was a non-issue, and was done wrong by the evil media.

You plan to name your children Barack and Baracka.

You believe that saying his middle name is racist.

You think the political platform of “change” is original to Obama.

You believe PUMAs are Republicans pretending to be disaffected Democrats, kind of like Joe Lieberman.

LOL.  He actually graduated cum laude from Harvard with a degree in political science.  Let's not forget we (well maybe not all of us) also elected an actor to be president.

The only thing that scares me about Franken is the hairdo.  ROFL.  He really needs to work on that.  Maybe some gel or something. 

was unheard of decades ago (none of our business in the big picture). If someone is doing a good job or not - then that is where our interest should stay. Personal lives should be just that, personal.

But, you gotta admit - his predilection for being "pampered" was a bit off the beaten path.......But, Hoover, was a tranny - so there ya go.

I used to work for the police department in a suburban town.  There was a class of criminal known as the *office creeper*.  Always a scruffy-looking, often malodorous, black guy (there were many but always a similar description.)  He would work a large office building, going into the reception area (or maybe even deeper into the offices) around lunchtime.  If nobody was at the desk he would start going through the drawers, looking for whatever valuables he could find - a billfold out of the purse in the bottom right drawer (where all secretaries keep their purses) or maybe a few checks out of the back of the company checkbook, a gold pen and pencil set, some petty cash....whatever was small and portable. If someone came in and caught him at it, he was always *looking for a job application* 

Now, this individual was certainly NOT dressed for success or groomed for job-hunting.   But counting on political correctness the company's fear of appearing racist, he would brazen it out, wait for the application to be supplied, and then leave with it (and with whatever he was able to grab before he was discovered.)

In an hour, one creeper could visit a couple dozen offices and no one would bother to call in about a suspicious person because, gosh, here was a guy just trying to find a job and we should encourage that, and not report him just because he's black, right?  Later in the day the thefts would be discovered and the department would be flooded with calls.

And here we have a president with his hand in our collective desk drawer.  Any observation about this is blamed on our innate racism.  We should wait and see, give the guy a chance, etc. 

No.  Criminal behavior is criminal behavior.  Failure to notice to take action or even comment on it is indicative of our collective fear of appearing politically incorrect, to paraphrase Janean Garrulus-fool - reverse racism, plain and simple.

election this has been and continues to be.  Love it.

If your posts are directed towards posters and NOT a political issue or discussion, you will be banned.  We've asked nicely, we've posted it on here. 

YOU DON'T HAVE TO AGREE, just stop the childish behavior of attacking people on this board. 

leanings are partially genetic.  Those who startle easily are more likely to be republican.  Those who are on a more even keel and do not startle at small noises or movements are more likely to be democrats.  I would say this board supports those conclusions.