when you "take care of his kids" to try to keep them away, you are enabling him to escape
Posted By: sm on 2006-09-27
In Reply to: Need opinion on family issue - at wits end
consequences for his actions. Alcoholics only stop drinking when the pain outweighs the pay off. Here is what you can do for yourself: Go to Al-Anon. The only requirement for membership is a drinking problem in a relative or friend. The counselor for your BIL, if he is worth his salt at all, will recommend the family go to Al-Anon. The family. That's you.
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You keep saying that these men look like they could "take care of you"
Take care of yourself. Don't judge a man based on whether or not he looks like he can take care of you. You should be smart enough, resilent enough, independent enough, and educated enough to take care of yourself, and to choose a man that complements you, not keeps you like a horse in a stable. The era of the "kept" woman is over. Women are doing it for themselves these days, not judging a man based on whether he looks like he can take care of them.
How can you NOT do both? How can you NOT take care of kids and do this? Heavens!
Why try to scare off any potentials mothers who want to do this? The first poster says she "neglected" her kids, and next time around would have movies or something for them to do. What did she do with her poor kids? I don't think I want to know, but its a no-brainer to have things organized to amuse the kids, etc. I think there are just some mothers who have no "instincts" so to speak - their kids survive by the Grace of God. But there are LOTS of mothers with good instincts and organizational skills, as in multitasking. I, too, started in this industry with my 6 month old daughter on my lap literally. It was challenging, and I did it full time, but my kids, all 3, were raised while I was MTing. They are FINE, and we are a closely-knit family. I'm not saying it wasn't challenging but that was THE WHOLE POINT OF working at home. Lots and lots and lots of MTs do it for just that very reason - OUR KIDS. However, they're not usually on this board wasting time! I think the position here is too skewered - anti-kids, anti-husbands, anti-work, anti-bosses, anti-authority, anti-Indians. While every single other MT board is swarming with happy MTs who are thrilled to be home with their kids, and balancing work with kids, and doing it well! It can be done, and it can be done very well, and it is the #1 REASON most MTs in their childbearing years transition to this career! And it WORKS!!
no way..i have 3 little kids and a husband to take care of..
i do good to keep up with what i have now. i was wondering if 1 cent higher though would make up the differnece of not getting paid for spaces.
Glad you don't take care of my kids
If I was paying you for daycare for my kids that is what I would expect you to be doing. Not off in a corner transcribing medical reports. If you are licensed maybe they should check into your license. You are licensed to take care of kids while there are with you not transcribe, and if you aren't licensed that explains it.
Glad I don't take care of your kids too...
None of those scenarios you guys mention happen here while I am working. You may allow children to hit each other in the head with trucks, but that behavior is unacceptable here. I run a very well organized daycare, all the parents know I type during the children's naptime and movie time and have no problem with it because they are right here in the room with me and mom knows her child is being well taken care of. My job as Transcriptionist doesn't suffer as I have never gotten an audit of less than 98% and have made 100% accuracy on many audits. Whether you guys believe it or not and want to put me down is not my concern as your hateful opinions matter nada bit to me. :)
I assure you, MTs NOT taking care of their own kids while working at home is NOT the rule. Its the
exception, and only on THIS negative board. I think that's why so many kid-hating MTs hang on this board, while all other MT boards are populated by MTs who not only work and LOVE their jobs, but also love raising their kids at home as well. So, please, don't go quoting exceptions and rules based on YOUR single opinion. There are LOTS of MTs who lurk on this board, who love their kids, and who have chosen to MT for the #1 reason to be with their kids, and they SUCCEED easily. To go with your thought process, honestly its just mothering skills - some mothers are just natural mothers and love it, while some...well, this board and the posts attests to their hearts...So many of you think one has to be a rocket scientist to MT, and even more of a rocket scientist to figure out how to amuse a baby for a day! Its NOT that complicated at all...not if one cares or loves.
I dont care if you stay home because ofyour kids, a health issue - sm
or because you just like to work in tne nude. The fact of the matter is, settling for a lower rate jsut for the convenience of working from home is BS. I've been doing this for 25 years and have been home since 1996 and while I know I am not making the same money I did in the haydays, I sure as he11 will not work for less. Many of these companies are bluffing if they tell you they have to lower your rate. In fact, if you hold your ground and have a decent reputation, you can even make more.
It's too bad that so many people don't believe in their abilities and worth to hold out. You should never base your decision on fear. Use logic and common sense.
Escape from Hos
My mom escaped from a psych hosp when I was about 12 years old. It was in the middle of winter. She had no coat, no nothing. Went to someone's house and asked for a ride. They actually drove her to her house. I came home from school and there she was.
It's definitely the escape key in Instant text. Others I don't know.
``
I thought it was Ctrl/X or the Escape key,
s
Uh..."take *you* typos???LOL
Now what were you saying about "simple typos?"
What do you mean they "take" 25% of your earnings?
If you mean they pay you 75% of what they charge the client, then 25% is small potatoes in my opinion for all the headaches they have for marketing, keeping the client happy, being the responsible party for turn around, technical issues, etc. It's not worth the other 25% to me to have to go out and find clients and keep them happy and covered.
(sorry - URL didn't "take"), so cut & paste!
I think hitting escape at the end does it, or make other shortcuts for the long
s
It's called ENABLING
nm
maybe you need to stop enabling her
If she is an adult daughter, and she knows what her diagnosis is and has been adequately educated about it, yet refuses to see a mental health professional, perhaps you should step back and say, it is your responsibility to manage your own health. If she feels she needs to see doctors, she needs to get her own job with insurance or get on disability. If she feels she doesn't need to be managed with a psychiatrist's help you should encourage her to see then she needs to be the one to deal with the consequences. Ignore her manic outbursts and/or set limits.
There are plenty of people with manic disorders who choose to carefully manage their condition. The condition itself is not an excuse for not managing it. hope this helps
What is your background enabling
How many years of experience do you have? What school did you attend? Your post comes off sort of "above all". QA is just that in my opinion. If not for the blanks, you wouldn't have a job lady.
Compassion often is term for enabling. Often a
x
"take one line from a post and use it against the person" - read your own quote
nm
Enabling post not meant for OP, just Peidmont.
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You are certainly entitled to your opinion, no one would accuse you of enabling.
nm
Enabling so oftened masked as helping. Dont
x
Do little kids like caramel? My big kids won't even eat it! We make the basic Baker's chocolat
s
I never said you shouldn't have kids! Feeling guilty? I asked WHY you had kids.
You clearly stated in your post that you ship the kids off to camp all day, and they're TIRED AT NIGHT!! You know exactly what you said. You said it as a PERK - AS IN GREAT! They're gone all day, it wears them out, and so I shovel dinner in their mouths and off to bed! You can try to paint it any way you want, but YOU SAID IT. Again, I only hope your kids never hear you speak that way or write that way. Shame on you. Why have kids at all? Just another parent who has them, gets rid of them for day AND night, BRAGS ABOUT IT, and then calls ME wicked! Give me a break! Camp is fine - its WHAT YOU SAID AND YOU KNOW IT. Your own words showed your heart. Period.
Kids are demanding and so is MT work. My question is how CAN you do this with kids, rather than how
When you have two young kids, 11 months apart, (like I stated they are now 4 and 5) and have been doing this since they were born with no help from their father and no family around, YES, the kids get neglected. Part time might work but living on one salary, part time, is not an option. How can you possible tell me that anyone with two young kids can stay at home and work a full-time, 8-hour shift, and still give their kids the attention they NEED. I dont care how good you are at multitasking and how great your organizational skills are. It is a very difficult thing to do. And I am offended by your post making it sound as if it is easy to do.
I do agree that it can depend on how well your kids behave and how well they are able to play on their own. But my kids were not able to play well on their own. They needed constant attention.
So please take the time to realize that there are people out there in different situations than your own.
Reading our posts should help you to understand that everyone has a different situation. I believe everyone should have the right to shares their experiences as it might benefit the original poster in her questions and concerns.
I dont think anyone should be bashed for taking the time out to write about their experiences. I dont usually come on here to argue but you really ticked me off with your post. And try reading the post correctly. I said next time around I would have put them in day care. What I DID do with them was set them up to an activity like art or put on a movie for them. Geez.
Stayed "because of the kids?" I say "leave because of the kids"
You're in no position to buy right now. Keep saving, keep paying down your bills, and for heaven's sake get rid of that dead weight of a BF you're living with. You can do better.
So, should I return the $75 (x2 kids) in music cards I got the kids for x-mas...sm
My son has been telling me about free music sites and I was very leary. How do they skirt the law Radguy?
I don't have kids, but my Mom was from the "old school," and still had everyone, kids inclu
call her by her first name. The little neighbor girl next door from the time she could speak called her Aggie (my mom's first name), and they were great buddies until the day my mom pased away.
I don't think there really is much in a name, but more in the respect you are given and the way you are treated. Personally, I kind of cringe inside when someone calls me Ms. Anything or God forbid, "maam" (makes me feel like Methuselah!) ... I'm always just plain Merrie. :-)
But, as someone pointed out, to each his own. If you want to be addressed a certain way, you have that right, and people should respect that. I'm glad you corrected the child ... hope it "sticks." 
Kinship care versus foster care/adoption
Having been placed in a position where I now have custody of my 3 YO granddaughter and going through the legal system, I sought an online network of relative caregivers for children. I would encourage you, especially since you are in Georgia, that if you take any children into foster care with the idea of adopting them, there is federal law that requires the state to take certain actions in a specific time frame. When a child is removed from it's bio parent(s), the state is required to investigate any possible relatives who can take the child before foster care is considered, but even before that, reunification with the parents is the priority. Once a child enters the system and is in the system for 15 out of any 22 months, the state is required to find permanent placement for the child.
The problem with this is that there are case workers who may favor a foster family and do not seek out relative care. I have a good friend in Georgia who had to fight all the way to the state level to get custody of her grandson after the child was placed from the hospital into a foster care home with the promise that the foster parents would be allowed to adopt. She has now adopted her grandson, but it was a long, hard battle to get the state to admit their own interests were placed above those of the child and/or family.
If you get a child placed through the state, please make certain there is not a relative who wants that child before you get your hopes up. The courts are now favoring return of children to relatives even after a child has spent years with a foster family who hoped to adopt them.
States get bonus federal funds by complying with the time lines and being able to close the case, so some states place children in foster care because it is easier than trying to locate relatives.
Didn't mean to go off on a tangent, but I can't imagine my sweet bella going to someone outside her family.
If it was a clinic, it might have been urgent care, but it was NOT acute care. sm
Acute care refers to work in an acute care setting, a hospital, doing at least History and Physicals, Discharge Summaries, Consultations, Surgery notes, Emergency Department notes, and much more, including GI procedures, Cardiology procedures, Neurological procedures, Pulmonary Function Studies. It goes on and on and it means and acute care hospital setting, not a clinic.
Please do not simply give up, kids or no kids!
Talk with a professional. This can be worked through if he really puts forth the effort and you participate. The right counseling can truly make your marriage even better than it was before, if BOTH parties are willing to be honest. Give it a try. Nothing to lose at this point and everything to gain!
I always figure if they don't care about their dictation, they probably don't care about their
nm
Dont care how many languages you took. Care
x
oh, so if I don't care about my job, I "should" care
you come off as narcissistic.
I dont know. I didnt care then and I dont care now.
Just me
No I said thank God I do not have kids
I think the wrong point is being taken here. Yes he does not worry about money and is used to that. I am afraid of not making ends meet if I stop working my day job and I refuse to stop working either MT jobs as we all know it takes a lot of education to make it.
I am my kids mom
My children are lucky to have their mother taking care of them, not a stranger. I work my butt of taking care of my kids and have made many sacrifices to be able to live this life of working PT and being a full time mother. I know that I am my kids mom.
I know that it must be hard for you to look at your kids and tell them that you don't want them to be with you everyday. The sacrifices could be made.
Thank God you have no kids. NM
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How much can you get done with 2 kids?
I haven't done transcription for a few years and would like to get back in. My question is--if you don't mind me asking--how many lines a week can you get done with kids? Is 1000 reasonable or way out there? I have 5 kids, but 3 of them will be in school during the day and the other two nap...any advice?
For kids
Tacos, as son to work and daughter off too, and me and hubby home made wedding soup, ummm ummm good, and sweet italian sausage on hard rolls, not stale, just good.
28 WF, M, 2 kids. nm
nm
Kids come first for both of us, then each other, I don't think I'd want a man who
and catering to me constantly. I like the fact that he does all the cooking, and most of the grocery shopping and gets me things I like w/o me having to ask him to buy them. I do the same for him. We don't get much alone time but enjoy what time we do get together. My man does a lot other men don't but doesn't act like a doormat either.
Same here... kids come first, then each other. sm
Our kids are still at home, and the kids come first. I've seen lots of other parents who put themselves/each other first, and the kids always seem to be second thoughts to them. That's not how it works in our family. We're all equally important, but the kids' needs come first. If I only have $30 and we all need shoes, the kids get them first. I wouldn't have it any other way.
How old are the kids?nm
We have three kids.
x
DH does his own. So do the kids.
I used to have Mount Everest on the basement floor every single day and then I just got fed up and stopped doing laundry except for my own and household items, i.e., towels, etc. Half of the pile was clean stuff that I had folded and put in the kids' rooms that they just put back in the pile when they "cleaned" their rooms.
It took them a while to adjust, but the youngest was 8 and the older ones were 12 and 17 and I left their stuff in the mountain until they realized that they couild actually work the washing machine AND the dryer. They also know if they put the washer on the extra small cycle for only one pair of pants, one shirt, one pair of socks and one pair of underwear for themselves, and I actually find it, it gets hauled out of the washer and thrown back on the pile wet.
And don't even think about not scraping AND rinsing your plate. You won't get fed.
hee hee 
I
yep and even KIDS..........nm
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How many kids do you have?
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My kids are now in their mid-20's and
we always had them save their money. I'd give them $20 of their paychecks and put the rest in high-interest CD's for them.
My son recently used the money from his childhood savings as a downpayment on his house.
My daughter is using hers to pay off her student loans from college.
They are now very responsible savers/investors.
Teach them young. It's a great learning experience that can be applied to the rest of their lives.
We pay our kids...
to watch the baby, but it works like this. They are 14 and 16 and the "baby" is 4. They watch her for more than 2 hours, they get $6 an hour. Those first 2 hours are considered just being part of our family.
It would be the end of it for me. Not something I would want as an example for the kids, either.
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