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Posted By: WA on 2005-09-27
In Reply to: HELP - Advice needed for my friend ASAP - sm - Oh Dear!

'Oh Dear,' I am wondering if we are neighbors. (I posted yesterday with the ADHD daughter.) Do you live in Western WAshington? I don't want to give out much info on the forum, but maybe we can figure out if we are neighbors. When I posted asking to reinstate "Frankie Boy", I was banned from the board...same service area as one of the posters (If you are the same "Oh Dear" that is. If you don't know what I am talking about, never mind, but we still may be in the same area. Do you work for MQ or are you an MTSO. Our house was built by an MTSO's husband. Who knows, might be a huge coincidence??

Anyway, Washington State takes good care of their 'kids'. There is help out there. But, seriously, this child may need more help than your friends can provide. Maybe they can make a decision after finding out what the true diagnosis is. She may, indeed, be a threat to those around her, in which case, she may need more careful monitoring, (24/7), than your friends can provide. Sorry to sound negative, but sometimes 'love' can not cure EVERYTHING! And some conditions are more hereditary than environmental. Okay, Now starts the big debate!!??

We adopted our daughter from a relative who was not taking care of her. We thought we could 'save' our daughter, also, and in a way we have, but with a VERY SHORT LEASH and VERY CAREFUL MONITORING. Still, she has the same ADHD personality, and the minute she is out the door, all the logic and wisdom goes right out the window. She even amazes herself at the stuff she will do. We consider it a success that she is now 17 and has not been in jail or pregnant and just landed her first "real" job and has held it for five weeks! Hey! THese are major successes for an ADHD child! She also has many fine attributes that "save" her. She is very outgoing and has a bubbly personality,very pretty, and is GREAT with little kids. At first the teachers and counselors do not think there is anything wrong with her. That lasts about a week, then the phone calls start. "Do you KNOW what your daughter did THIS time!!??" Some outrageous, funny things she does, and some downright dangerous and not funny things. Never a dull moment. Not for the faint hearted. We feel like we barely made it through it.

But it sounds like your friends have a MUCH WORSE problem. Keep us all posted as to how things turn out..what that diagnosis might be, and no, you are right, she does not sound ADHD.

Complete Discussion Below:

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HELP - Advice needed for my friend ASAP - sm - Oh Dear!
- The kid needs some stability, not being pushed from - 2 cents
- sm - WA
  - Thanks for the input - sm - Oh Dear!
- Thanks to everyone for the advice and offer of prayer - sm - Oh Dear!
- I briefly talked to my uncle, who is psychiatrist, about Tater. His recommendation was to take her - Sugar
- I'd give this monster back to her mother - and life goes on
  - Wow! You really think that is going to help anything? - Oh Dear!
  - The responsible thing to do... - SM
  - love and responsibility are sure left out of your assessment. - nm
- Tater - Dianean
  - email me - Dianean
    - Thanks, Sent you email. - nm - Oh Dear!
- From what I've learned from... - SM
  - That's the problem I have with - sm - Oh Dear!
    - maybe, if neglected, - sm
- advice /oh dear - Nanna23
- Short note..more tomorrow - WA
  - Thanks - sm - Oh Dear!
    - OH DEAR! - GRAPENUT
- Sounds pretty sad. - MTMommy
  - It is very sad - sm - Oh Dear!
    - Even more sad is the fact that there doesn't seem to be - sm - Oh Dear!
- Forgot one other important piece of information - sm - Oh Dear!
  - I am so sorry for your friend and this situation sm - Karen S.
    - would the local - sm
      - She has been referred in the past - sm - Oh Dear!

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