seen that before
Posted By: msbeanctr on 2006-04-01
In Reply to: Martyrdom - Wispyspirit
My mother was like that with my paternal grandmother and my father. When daddy was sick, she never left his side...But she was always in a hurry to do this and do this for your "daddy". Good to give us a guilt trip.
When her mother got in a position to be cared for constantly, she did not have the physical or mental strength to do it and her siblings had to step up after me and my siblings stepped in. The stress has caused my mother to have two heart attacks and she is diabetic. She was always so enertic until it was time for her to be her own mother's caregiver.
But in the meantime with my paternal grandmother (who only had boys), she was always throughing it up in my dad's face and my uncle's faces that she took care of gram. Gram lived to be 93 and never had to go to a nursing home. She had two strokes and recovered fully from one and about 87% from the other(speech would slur in late afternoon). Gram still cooked, could see, could bathe. She stopped driving when she was 87. But, my mother had the m-complex because of the fact that we lived out of town and was not there to see exactly what was going on. It was like she was in a competition with my uncles. This m-dom wore her about and now she just sleeps most of the time (on many medications). It's been 26 years since I took psychology, but the m-dome hits the nail on the head about describing situations as such. Her complaining drove us crazy. I really think you can "complain" youself into a sickness. And I really think that controll issues are an artform.
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