ode to a mammogram
Posted By: Snow Bunny on 2005-09-09
In Reply to:
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts,
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And my bra I always wore.
After 30 years of astute care,
My Doctor found a lump.
She ordered up a mammogram,
To look inside that lump.
"Stand up very close" she said.
As she got my boob in line,
"And tell me when it hurts," she said.
"Ah yes! There, that's fine."
She stepped upon a peddle.
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate pressed down and down,
My boob was in a vice!
My skin was stretched and stretched,
From way up under my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath", she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that was good", I heard her say
As the room was slowly swaying.
"Now let's have a go at the other one".
Lord have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides,
I'll bet she's never had this done,
Not to her tender little hide!
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have popped, Ker-pow!
This machine was designed by man,
Of this I have no doubt,
I'd like to stick his balls in there.
And see how they come out!
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
A mammogram isn't that expensive. I just had 2 and they were
$125 each, most of which I paid out of pocket due to insurance deductible. BC is usually very good about paying for preventative care, such as mammograms and Pap smears. The doctor should just submit the bill to BC for payment, this isn't something you need preapproval for.
I doubt they would tip you off but the mammogram - sm
will be read the same day and I am sure they will call you with the results if there is something suspicious or if it needs a re-do. You can always request that the radiologist calls you that day with a verbal report, cannot hurt, and should help your anxiety. I just had my first one and got the report in the mail a few days later. They did 6 shots as they were not happy with 2 of them when they took them (I am flat chested so it was a little harder to grab and squeeze the tissue they needed in order to see). I hope all ends up well for you.
Question re mammogram (having one, that is)
Having a mammo and ultrasound tomorrow for palpable lump discovered last week. Never had one before and am wondering if the techs will tip you off in some fashion if the results look favorable. Also have appt with surgical oncologist later in the week, but I am on pins and needles mostly because I am a self-supporting single mom and can't afford substantial downtime as well as other issues with DD.
I'm also a little concerned about the speed with which all of this has been arranged. Hopefully it's just out of an abundance of caution. TIA. Hope this didn't post twice. I don't know what happened to the first one in the email verification process!
Bilateral screaming mammogram
The doctor said that, then got so tickled at herself that she could hardly go on with the dictation.
I found out my mammogram was abnormal after 3 weeks!
I assumed the doctor's office would call me if it were. It wasn't until I got a letter from the radiologist 3 weeks later that I learned it was abnormal. I called my doctor's office and the secretary assured me that they had called me and had left a message. I asked the secretary what number she had and she kept saying, "tell me what your phone number is and I'l see if it is what we have." I asked to speak to her boss and she found that they hadn't even been sent the report. I was LIVID! That secretary disappeared within a few days. I also brought the matter up with administration at the hospital where the test was performed. There was a "hurry up offense" to get me in for an ultrasound and I didn't even have to sit in the waiting room. Fortunately for me everything was okay.
No excuses. 30 day TAT. Absurd.
Hope everything works out okay for you.
|
