i do have a sense of humor and i like clever and witty satire.

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Yep, I knew it was advice, and I appreciate ALL points of view as it gives me perspective.  8-)  I've been reading the boards for a while now, and I realized that I'd get the good, the bad, and the ugly, and that's okay! 

However, I specifically asked for advice about how to do it rather than whether to do it, though, as I've already decided to defy the odds and give it a go. 

Enjoyed the NCLB reference, by the way! 

>>>This is a collective from Medical Interview Records written by various Paramedics, Emergency Room Receptionists, and (We are afraid) a Doctor or two at major Hospitals.<<<

The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

The skin was moist and dry.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

She is numb from her toes down.

Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.

Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

The cause of this diarrhea, however, has never been solidified.

Pain is rather constant; exacerbated with changing physicians.

The patient had no chess pain or shortness of breath.

The patient is allergic to Quinine. When she takes it she gets a rash and then whelps.

She didn't send her daughter off anywhere.  The girl was 18 right???  She is an adult and can go wherever she wants at that age.  What could her mother do?  And how do YOU know if you would shoot your mouth off or not if YOUR child was killed and taken from you?  How do you know what  you would do? 

She will never see her daughter again.  Hello, of course she is handling it badly.  GEEZ.  HELLO??????

Take a cold shower, Billie Jean! 

before I posted and waited until not only after the press release but after the details came out. We were carefully briefed early on on the details of what was and wasn't okay.

My daughter is going out of her skin waiting to hear.  She loves history and current events at school, particularly the mock elections, etc.  I just think it is a wonderful opportunity to give her this early in life. I hope it makes a huge impression if she gets to go as far as the importance of exercising her right to vote, etc.