feeling badly
Posted By: wondering if anyone has done this on 2005-09-02
In Reply to:
I feel kind of sick mentally, someone recently hurt me and in my childhood things happened so i've developed this habit of cutting myself or punching myself. I just cannot handle my emotions sometimes they get so overwhelming, and truthfully it helps get my mind off of it, but then later I see what i've done to myself and I feel guilt and sick over the whole thing and the cycle starts again. Just wondering if anyone has ever had the urge to do this?
Just feeling badly today, I would post on the depressed board but no one ever goes there. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone in my life about my problems either, so I just needed to vent that out a little bit.
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No need to feel badly for me - feel badly for an adult who has no control of his/her own life!
I hope these people didn't produce any daughters! Bad, bad example!
Why do you need to know so badly?
What does it matter where she's from? Obviously, some people don't like to tell everything about themselves on the Internet because there are other people out there who stalk. I speak from experience because someone was doing this at another MT website.
Please don't feel too badly - sm
I have been in this situation too and thankfully, I managed to get out a long time ago. Unfortunately, there are a lot of really mean people out there, who never stop to think about how their words might hurt another person. There is life after a bad and abusive marriage. Just try to ignore these mean comments here. You did what you had to do to help yourself and your children and you were only offering advice. Don't feel badly about that. I'm sure the OP knows whether or not what you did would work for her, and if she thought this would put her in grave danger, she probably wouldn't do it. Big hugs to you and the OP here.
I am so sorry. I feel so badly for you and your son,
and your other child :-( I have been with my husband several decades, and at least all is smooth now - I fought it out! But the first 5 years of our marriage were Hell - he drank - verbally abusive, etc. I actually left him - took the baby, her things, my typewriter, Dictaphone, and the TV. He knew it was over then! We separated about 6 months - I proved to him and myself that I could live happily on my own. He then agreed to counselling, and we have been happy ever since. But it was an enormous battle of wills, so to speak. Hope you are not offended, but I will be praying for all of you - your family. Please keep us posted if you can. Go with your heart - I know you know - your son deserves the BEST! I know when it came to my finally leaving my husband, it wasn't for me - my self-esteem was long gone, but it was for my daughter. She deserved better. And she got it ultimately - he is a wonderful husband and father now, but it took me leaving him to snap him out of it. Know that you are not alone. 
Yeah, but we need it so badly. nm
I feel so badly for both you and the OP sm
Just try to realize that the pain management professionals do not care if you get addicted. They don't even really care if you are in pain. Everything to them is the bottom line...$$$. You don't even have a name to them. Do you want them and these pills controlling your life for the rest of your life?? Personally, I want control of my own life. I don't want the poison that these pharmaceutical companies are pumping out daily in my system. The way I look at it is that if God wanted it there, he would have put it there. You CAN live without them....you just have to want to. You CAN.
Never been treated so badly in my life
Just signed on with a company, had 1 week of work, now I am on my second week with no work. I am a single mother with children to feed...it's just not right. Searching for a new job and have 3 offers on the table already......
Noooooo! Don't!!! It burns so badly you will wish it had been where it was before! SM
I had the same thing happen to me. Called my doctor and he said well put it up front, same tissue. YOIKS!! I called him from my seat in a cold-water bath and told him to mark that suggestion out of his book.
doctors who dictate badly
I typed for a doctor who dictated once from the stands at a pro baseball game, once apparently at his kid's Sunday school 'cause they were all singing "Jesus Loves Me," and in the car on the way to Grandma's--both parents were dictating (both were doctors, my clients) with the kids carrying on about "When will we be there?" and one of the parent yelling at them without, of course, turning off their recorder. HIPAA would have had a ball with them!
treated badly and pentalized
Has anybody here had a company treat you badly because you want to work? I was offered a full-time employee position. I took it and then I was barely getting 200 lines a day. I was also told I would have a back up account. When I questioned what was going on, I was given the cold shoulder. What's the deal? I want to work! I am use to getting at least 1500 lines a day.
I so badly need a vacation. And one simply isn't in the budget.
But you know, having travelled far and wide with a man who could take me places, I did learn it isn't where you go, it is who you go with....
Yes, would love to meet, date, fall in love with and marry a rich fellow. Having a two income household would be a welcome change if the guy was the Mr. Right.
A lot of women are treated badly in general sm
not just in the Amish community. How many women are abused daily, behind closed doors and in public. I remember an incident when I was visiting Atlantic City. Had just walked into the casino and there was this man, wife, and child in a stroller along with some other friends. Don't know what their argument was about, but the man hauled off and smacked his wife across her face like it was nothing and the friends seemed so embarrassed. The poor lady just shielded her face and cried. The man acted as if he had done nothing wrong. If this is the treatment he gives her in public, imagine what goes on behind closed doors. I told my husband if you ever even think about it I will put your poor soul to rest.
We cannot generalize by culture because it is the world we live in. To the Amish community I am sure they receive "normal treatment."
The gist of it all is no one should have to suffer the pain these children nor their families have endured with these school shootings, molestations, and abuse. If you are that miserable (they end up killing themselves anyway most of the time), why not just go ahead and take your own life and leave others alone. I pray for them all and hope that they can find peace in the midst of all this tragedy.
Don't feel too badly MQ folks. Another large SM
 company soon to initiate docking for errors. Whether these errors exist or not. These may be style guide errors. It seems the latest version of said style guide contains a lot more pages than the original version which was, perhaps 80 pages long.
Yes, I'm quite sure these companies are only concerned about quality transcription and not the bottom line.
depends on how badly you need GOOD work
and whether you are one of those who spends every penny on payday or budgets.
25-40 bucks an hour suits me just fine, cake platform...
you must just like to complain
Re above message - just posted on technical board. Need help badly.
Thanks.
We all feel very badly about the situation from the hurricaine but it is a big deal with MTs losing
the people and the offices they are used to and the fact that work is very short with some of these regions after you get transferred because many new people are put onto the accounts so why wouldnt it be a big deal when your income and accounts are jeopardized. What else is there for MTs.
There is an old adage - "He that writes like he speaks writes badly." nm
Doctors need to learn that they are creating a document that is going to be read by others.
I work for a hospital where the gastroenterologists compete to see who can dictate their endo in the fastest time. They deserve the blanks.
I'm so sorry you are feeling like this! I truly believe it is because
of your illness right now that this is all happening - the way you are feeling. About a week before any kind of sickness is starting in my body I go through the same exact thing. You must be paid hourly or salary because no one should have to cover for "free" and not get paid overtime! The phone co. tried to do that with my DH and other salaried workers and there's been a federal law passed that any unpaid overtime MUST be paid from Oct. of last year until now. You must gaid paid overtime even if you are salaried. Look it up and see if that is not correct.
Anyhow, good luck. LIke another poster said, get plenty of rest and I promise, next week you will be doing better.
Been there.. know the feeling
I think we start them so you and they school sports are SOOO competitive nowdays, that the kids give it all they have and then finally burn out. My son did. He played everything from tennis, golf, football, soccer to basketball. He did finish playing through high school (had finally limited it to only basketball), but did not want to play when it came to college. It broke my heart. For one thing, I was not ready to not get to see him play anymore and, secondly, how to pay for college now? However, I didn't want to push him into something he did not want to do. We have survived college so far (he's in his third year), but now he plays sports only on a recreational basis and is very happy. He is even pursuing a degree in Sports Management and wants to be a sports agent, so he still has the love of the game. I'm just glad he didn't lose that through it all.
Feeling Up Mom...
This is simply too funny!
http://www.askmen.com/video/current/index.html
thank you, feeling better.
I know the feeling
I tell them up front what work types I like and that I don't want the very high rates for the crappy accounts. My company, Etransplus, lets you choose what work types you want to do and I bet you I don't get an ESL but maybe twice a month. I had also checked with them for a friend of mine and they do need ops people only.
I always tell companies that big line rates don't pay off in the long run when the accounts are so bad.
i had the same feeling..
I really had admired his class throught the whole show and he certainly came down a peg or 2 then
I'm feeling old!
I worked for a doctor in high school so had a tiny bit of training, first job for transcription company was on an IBM selectric. I worked in our dining room and it almost drowned out the t.v. in the next room. My daughter, who was in junior high at that time, tore my perforated pages for me when i was finished. Funny thing, money didn't seem so tight back then, did it? Now I have to beat my fingers to the bone to get 2000 lines a day!
I'm feeling down
I work for a clinic making about $13.00 hr to work for 5 doctors and 2 nurse practioners. I have to transcribe the dictation, file all that I type into the charts (and charts are scattered anywhere and everywhere), send out all the referring physician copies (which sometimes can be 3-4 a report), and be anybody's "typist" that wants me to type whatever. Also have several other "clerical" duties the boss thinks that I should do. This is a very busy practice with around 200 patients a day. I have 30 years experience and am a CMT. I have been reduced to what I feel is "clerical" staff and my pay certainly reflects that. They constantly come in and wonder why the work is behind. I forgot to add that 4 of the 5 are "TERRIBLE" dictators that could do better but won't. I'm constantly having to find the referring physicians to type on to the report because they won't give it to me but want it typed on the note. I feel that I am giving these people their money's worth. The management will not listen to anything suggestions to make things run smoother and just want done what they want done, no matter what it means to me to do it... then they wonder why it gets behind. This is just the tip of the iceberg, but today I'm wondering, "WHY DO I DO THIS?" Is it for the retirement plan, cause not many of the services I have checked into even give benefits. I just want to get my purse and walk out and never look back. Ever felt that way?? I feel I am a wasted talent here and always have been, but I feel that the MT field has suffered many disappointing changes over these last 30 years. I've been here at this clinic almost 20 years. Before that I worked at a hospital where I was top producer for the 11 years that I worked there. I have no one else to tell this to who would remotely understand my feelings and I appreciate your letting me sound off on this board.I just don't know what to do next and was feeling down. Thanks for listening!
Feeling like we might be getting somewhere.
UPDATE: We got our tax money back and beginning to pay off bills so I won't have to take them with me. Only the ones in my name though, his credit is ruined, so he says he's not worried about them. Also, he paid off my dresser and is getting me some things to set up my home office. He is really taking this well. I'm so excited. Keep those good vibes coming. They must be doing something. Thanks, Jodi Lynn
I know the feeling
They take a set amount out of our checking twice a month. We should have all of our credit card debt taken care of in 4 years. The credit card companies lowered the interest rates on our cards substantially once we enrolled with CCCS, and I feel as if we now have a handle on our credit card debt. I believe it does go on your credit report, but the fact that you are trying to find a way to pay your bills and not just ignoring them looks good.
I know the feeling
same thing happended with my largest account. My group of doctors went to EMR, most of them are sticking to struggling by to fill in templates, etc, but they do dictate also, but very little. The office basically needs only one Transcriptionist now, where was before there were four. The doctors really are not as satisfied with the EMR as they thought they would be, but they have invested such big $$$, they will stick with it. The system they have is point and click using templates, etc and the transcriptionist also does alot of that, they fill in the blanks, etc. I worked on it a few times and find it very, very different from transcribing, you cannot get any "flow", therefore if you were paid by the line, way less $$$ than I can make transcribing. Since the system is just getting up and running they needed people to input data into it (scanning documents, etc), not difficult but time consuming. I did that temporarily too, but unfortunately the pay would not compare to transcribing either. I know on their system they could set up a transcriptionist from home, but they never got around to that part partly because they really did not have enough work to justify that expense. Of course the data entry would have to be done there as it required scanning multiple charts daily into the system and the office did not want to be without their charts for any period of time, etc. Of course each EMR system is different and each doctor uses it somewhat differently, if you previous physicians really dislike it, they may just dictate as in the past, but I would look for them to try to use the EMR as much as possible because of the $$$ invested into it. Keep in contact with them and keep your foot in the door, so to speak, they may tire more and more of it, but it will probably take awhile, then again after time they may adjust to it more and more. It's a gamble either way.
exactly my feeling too -- and to OP,
feel free to e/m me for my thoughts and experiences relating to your question.
That's how I took it, and I know the feeling
since we just moved and my son will be going to a new school with new friends, and this will be my daughter's first year too.
I know the feeling!
We have custody of our daughter's 2-year-old son; what a difference between boys and girls!! He is SOOOO active, and it's really hard to get my hours in at work, but I'm trying! Congrats to you and God bless!!
I'm feeling so much better
So many positive responses ! Thank you all so much for the encouraging feedback. I am the type who "likes my own company" so hopefully I'll get used to the quiet pretty quickly, but I am so close to my kids too - I'm going to really miss them.
Know the Feeling
I worked for a top criminal attorney in my area for 14 years and made great money, but I went back for a visit a few weeks ago, and boy, am I glad I'm home as an MT now. He was giving the secretary orders to do this and that by tomorrow, etc. and I thought to myself, boy I don't miss this at all. I make less money now, but to me it's worth it to be at home doing MT.
Ahh..someone who knows what Im feeling!
Thank you for your nice post. I certainly don't see why some got ruffled, everything I have said is valid.
These work at home jobs are supposed to be marketed for women with small children, but if you set the job up with unfair expectations like typing 8 hours, then you diminish the whole reason for women working at home in the first place...FLEXIBILITY!
It's really hard, but I'm trying. I just know if I had a better way to work my hours, this could work out for me.
Thanks for all your advice and it feels good to know I'm not alone!
I know the feeling!
Some days I just don't feel like working. It's so boring and monotonous. I have to challenge myself by setting dollar amount goals or line count goals. Just like the other posters, I type for an hour and then take a break to do housework or something. I set up rewards for myself. Get this done, and THEN I can surf the Internet or go shopping. I've even gone as far as blocking my favorite Internet sites from my work computer so I don't surf while I'm working. The other thing that helps is looking at my bills and setting up payoff goals. Now if only I could find a J-O-B so I could set some goals.
hah, me too. My cat is feeling
disenfranchised now that i've got this keyboard in my lap, she was used to snuggling inbetween my belly and the keyboard :) Both my cats like to be up here with me while i work too!
I have a feeling that we should either
be working with a company we love right now, or look quickly. I do believe that whatever happens to our MQ friends has a lot to do with the rest of us. There are what, 8000 to 10,000 MTs there? If something were to happen and there were a lot of resumes going out to all of the companies and hospitals out there, odds are the influx of great candidates versus the jobs would become a supply and demand issue. This may be happening already, as there were 500 people surfing this board the last few days since the MQ platform has been suffering problems. Does anyone have this feeling too? I don't think we should panic, but I am making sure to do my job with my present employer (personally) and hold onto my job security. If anything should happen to this giant employer, the few companies out there which are really good to their employees will have their pick of thousands, and I for one do not want to worry about my benefits and my job. Any comments on this? Thinking it would make for interesting conversation, seeing the balance of the MT workforce does depend on what this failing giant (MQ) happens to do.
I know the feeling
I'd done MT for approx. 20 years too - tired of the pay going down instead of up & tired of crappy ESLs/sloppy English speakers that only got worse. My solution? Do MT part-time to "keep an iron in the fire" just in case. I'm now work full-time in the quality systems program for a small medical device company. I'm SO much happier, have a 401K, benefits, vacation/sick pay and am SALARIED. No more sweating for pennies on the line and I am actually respected for what I do.
I know the feeling...sm
When I have a lot of work which hasn't been that often lately, but when I do, it seems that my mother who lives next door will come in or my daddy will drop by. You don't want to be rude but sometimes I just have to say I have a lot of work and just not get up and go in there and they will get the hint and leave.
My feeling also
We all know the story of the golden parachutes these guys get even in the face of the companys going bankrupt. They take their millions and run not giving the employees a second thought. No one wants to be a victim of this type of scenario but it may start unfolding in the next few months to a year. We need to be prepared and aware of what is going on.
Oh, I'm feeling ya.... :) nm
nm
Most of the time 80, 79 or 78 if I'm feeling hot....sm
luckily for me I'm on the cold-natured side so during the summer heat I'm not sweating too much in the 90 degree outdoor heat. In the winter I keep the thermostat around 70 and if I feel cold I'll go up to 72.
It can EASILY cause that feeling and yes, it is ...
working from home that does that.
It nags on you because it is "never completed", there's always more to do.
You need to get out of the house and do something OUTSIDE and something WITH OTHERS. That is why I volunteer (see my post a few threads below under "Answers").
You have to really keep a tight rein on disciplining yourself to keep a firm wide boundary between your home life and your work life because they are BOTH at home.
looking/feeling younger
Actually I say more power to them. I think it's great that an older woman wants to keep up instead of wearing those polyester pants and orthopedic shoes. I see several woman a lot older than I wearing ankle bracelets, toe rings, capris. I say go for IT. I didn't know there was a rule for how old you have to be to wear certain clothes.
Feeling guilty
Believe it or not your condition is more common than you might think. However, it is very serious. If you do not feel comfortable talking to someone you know then I suggest you speak with someone like a doctor, crisis center or even a local church pastor. Pastors have a lot of connections in the community and can get you the help you need, most times free. I wish you well and please do not think your crazy. Many people deal with stress in very different ways, some are more extreme than others. There is help out there! God Bless.
Tired of feeling ill
Anyone ever feel like this - just no energy, headache, and kind of achy for days now. Any ideas what this is caused from - maybe a virus?
About feeling guilty
Speaking of feeling guilty, if I hit the lottery tomorrow, I'm going to feel a little guilty that I hit it instead of the poor guy who's worked for minimum wage all of his life, but does that mean I'm going to refuse to accept the prize or give part of it back to the state in which I won it? I don't think so!
I understand what you're saying, and I agree too that she must do what she feels is right. If it were me, though, I'd charge my normal rate, and if the client came back to me with a "WHOA!!", then I might negotiate a "little something" out, but remember .... whether an MT types everything out by hand or does a few clicks and "viola" (sp), she still has to meet turnaround time, which means you'll find her sitting at her desk day in and day out. I personally would not transcribe at substandard line rates just because doctors choose to work smart and use macros because for me to do so would mean I'm not working smart. JMO.
To: Feeling guilty? From below. SM
Maybe something is escaping me and I don't want to be rude to anybody. I'm trying to understand.
You are an employee who signed an 8-4:30 contract, right? Are the people you are mad about employees, or did your MTSO hire additional IC folks? If she/they did, then that's who you should take issue with.
If these are other scheduled employees who are doing this, you have a choice. You can either do what they do, tattle on them (I probably would), or work elsewhere.
If they are extra IC help, what can you do? Can you make them feel bad about team spirit? I don't think so. Do you think McDonald's feels team spirit with Burger King? An IC is a business owner, in competition with others.
Are the other people employees?
Sheryl, feeling this way about your job
can really be damaging. It hurts emotionally, spiritually, and even physically sometimes.
If money were not part of the equation in any form, what would you enjoy doing with your time, your energy? If it is something other than MT work, try to put a plan in place to start working toward a career in that interest. Even if you have to continue working in MT for a while longer while you get started in a new direction, you will have some measure of comfort in knowing that you will not be doing this without end. Just that knowledge can help.
It is important to be happy, satisfied, and proud of your work and your investment of time, energy, and intellect into it.
I've been feeling like this a lot lately, too.
However, marrying a rich guy is not the answer. Money isn't everything. Can hubby start a side job or something that might work into self-employment since he can't find anything else? Is there alcoholism or something in the mix? Or do you guys just live in a city or state with a lousy economy? What about moving to a different area?
Are you paying for your son's college education? If so, why? Did your parents hand you a college education on a silver platter? Your son should be working at least parttime to pay for college. I told my kids they could stay with me while they went to the local college but they have to work, pay their own groceries, help around the house in exchange for rent/utilities, and I'm not incurring their student loan debt.
Something else that helps me get through times when I'm down is to make a gratitude list and write down my troubles to put in my higher power (God) box. Let someone else carry the load. Put it out of your mind for a while. Is your husband good to you? Has he been faithful? That's worth all the money in the world.
Start yourself a little savings account and slowly increase the amount. Pay to your savings as if it were another bill. Cut back your budget if you can.
I wonder, could you work fulltime at transcription and make as much as at your other job? You'd certainly have more time to yourself without that commute.
Glad I'm not alone. Feeling much better, but
Still going to bed at 8:00. I forced myself to go finish odds and ends today. It wasn't fun, but I'm done. Put a fork in me :)
I just had the "gift card express run" to do today, which I always save for last to avoid the crowds.
MACK truck or freight train, no matter how you see it, this thing just makes you say, "Ruh ro! I do believe I'm sick!!!!!!!!!
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