elder parent care
Posted By: sm on 2006-07-13
In Reply to: question for all - discussions are welcome
Of course I feel "responsible", even "obligated" to take care of my aging parents. They took care of me, now it's my turn to give back. However, I'm not in that position right now as my parents are both in their early to mid 60s, so don't require taking care of yet...so who knows how I'll feel when faced with that responsibility. But, I hope that I feel the same way I do now. My husband and I have discussed more than once perhaps buying a larger home with an in-law suite to accommodate our aging parents.
If only more of us would take the responsibility of taking care of our elderly parents, then perhaps we would not hear of some of the horrors that happen to the elderly such as getting bilked out of their life savings, being abused in a nursing home, having accidents while trying to take care of themselves, etc...Thanks for the thought provoking question....have a wonderful day! 
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regarding elder care question below (sm)
How many of us middle-aged children expect our children to take care of us when we get older? Do we expect them to take care of us to the extent that, if we haven't made provisions for long-term care, they've had to sell all our our possessions and property and are now having to think about selling their own home in order to keep us out of a nursing home? This is just my opinion, but I don't expect my children to have to give up absolutely everything (time, money, etc.) in order to care for me if I'm in such a condition to require 24-hour nursing care. I wouldn't like it, would probably fight tooth and nail, but if I were to that point I would expect to go to a nursing home to be taken care of and not be a burden (what I would feel I was) to my children.
your right on the elder kids with peds
I've done reports on 25 yr olds in Children's, usually because of a chronic medical condition.
Most peds kick em out to big people docs at 18. My daughter emphatically told hers that she would pay full price if she did'nt have to change :)...she just did not understand.
ok-could be your parent for sure...LOL...sm
32 !!! A mere babe in arms *S* and yes, old enough here to be YOUR MOM!!! Too funny!!! 
Well, I am the parent and I run my house sm
My kids are told to speak only when spoken to, and if they talk back in anyway, I smack them in the mouth. Granted, they are teens and not toddlers. In their teens, they try to push it to the limit no matter what situation. My kids know not to push!
I am a foster parent of 3, have been for about
a year and a half now. I would highly recommend you try to place you children with family or a good friend before turning to the state. After seeing how the system works, IMO, it is not a very good one. I would hate to see you lose your kids because you asked them for help. Two of my FC are about to get terminated from their parents, their mother of which put them in care for "help" and is now going to lose her kids.
There are many, many programs out there to help you. I'm not sure how long you have been married or really what the situation is but given the fact that you are considering this for children tells me you are a decent person because you don't want them on the street. Call a family member or a friend and ask if you and the children can stay with them. You might have to consider placing (or leaving) your husband somewhere else until you can get back up on your feet.
Go to your local welfare office, they might be able to get you something short-term. Try, try hard to keep your family together.
God bless you and your family. I hope things turn out and the world seems like a better place. Just know that we are all hear praying for you!
I think she is very much a good parent, and I don't
see how she is treating them as pets.
Ok, she was a parent when she got involved w/ a
asdf
It's not a parent's job to entertain their children 24/7.
Back in the olden days, parents AND children did chores from morning until night. They didn't play, go to the movies, own electronics or do ANYTHING fun. Chores, chores, chores all day long. The kids worked right alongside their parents. Church on Sunday. They didn't have neighborhood kids parading through the house without an invitation. They might have gone on an occasional picnic or square dance, but that's it. Children aren't supposed to be in charge. Parents aren't supposed to entertain their children 24/7 and give in to their every whim. At least her kids are having fun instead of being left home ALONE with a list of chores to do while Ma and Pa go to town for supplies.
A parent's job is to raise a child but....
I've been in that boat, too. Chore lists didn't help. Taking anything away didn't help. Holding their allowance didn't help. Going on strike didn't help. All I ended up was triple the work.  . It was their job to bring in wood for the stove to keep warm. I left the fire go out one night. That got their attention when they woke up and it was only 50 degrees in the house (pretty warm considering it was 0 outside). Never had to worry about heat anymore, but the other stuff....well...
At that time, I held down 2 full time jobs and 1 job at home typing college books part time. (I was young, so could handle it). Well, one day I sat them down and told them that if they EVER wanted to go out on their own, they would have to know how to clean, wash clothes, iron, cook, etc. I taught them how to cook the basics. I showed them how to do everything else. Well, they still didn't pitch in....didn't know what else to do so I left all their stuff alone. Stopped doing their wash and closed their bedroom door. Ignored them when they asked for something like they did me.
My guys all went out on their own between age 18-21. You should have seen their place. Spotless and they did it all themselves. Now that they are all married, my boys cook meals for their wives at least once or twice a week. They help their wives clean and do all the stuff I wish they would have done at home. But, you know what? That's fantastic. I know I taught them something that stayed with them and all my DIL's love me for it. 
Now, all I have to do is get hubby trained. I'm still supermom to him even though he often states "I don't know how you do it all."
My opinion is not to worry about it. If they are embarrassed, they may do something. If not, then when their friends come around, just mention, "I'm sorry the house is such a mess but since I work 2 jobs, I just don't have time to do everything else." They might get the message then.
Have become a single parent...how to survive
Hello.
First, I want to apologize if this is not on the right board. I wasn't sure where to put it.
Second, I am not looking for pity...just advice.
I have two wonderful children (a 5 year old and a 5 month old) who are my life and because of that I have left there father (verbally abusive to everyone) to make a better life for all of us. I am a new MT (have only been in the business for 4 months now and make enough to pay rent but that is all. With an infant it is hard to work during the day so I start my work around 7pm and work until it is done. I am not that fast yet but am gaining speed and could handle another small account. Can anyone tell me how they have made single parenting work as an MT or have any ideas on how to make it work, please. I am deperate to stay home with them. Honestly, daycare cost would kill my paycheck if I had to work outside of the home and I am trying to stay off of government support.
I appreciate any help or advice I receive.
Thank you.
This sounds like a parent talking...
I never want anyone to think I am yelling at them, even if something is a MAJOR no-no.
The above is what the poster wrote. I am not saying that I don't think her approach is good. I am just stating that words like MAJOR no-no are as if she is talking to a child. That's all I was pointing out. I don't like baby talk when it comes to being professional. Do we not strive for professionalism in this business?
So, some of you here like being talked to like a baby? That makes QA so special and great?
A little please and thank you goes a long way. I don't need a QA person to be sugary sweet to get the point. We are adults here.
As a parent of 3 grown men, I'd be real clear with him
on the reason for quitting. This is not the norm for most of these players, especially after playing for so many years. After this time it's usually "in their blood" as some would say. You really need to keep an eye on him and see where he really focuses his time now that he's not playing. Since his GPA is 4.0, it just throws up a flag to me as I read your post, and I'd be sure to keep a close eye on this young man. BUT, for your P.S., his team may nudge him back into playing and I don't necessarily think that would be a bad thing. Hopefully it's not a people problem that's caused him to want to quit, i.e. people picking on the little guy (wink, offensive linemen usually aren't too little, are they?). Just make sure you stay objective and keep an eye on the bigger picture if that's possible.
I remember when my now 25-yo was the tight end in pee wee footbal, lots of practice and lots of fun. He totally loved it but quit after midgets because he couldn't get along wth an upcoming coach. Ahhh, those were the days. Thanks for making me remember some good times.
A parent's job is to raise a child the way they should go as an adult ....
Isn't part of being an adult cleaning, taking responsibility? If so, YOUR job is to make them clean, certain rooms on certain days, not just during vacations. (I'm at work so this is succinct, and probably not real tactful, sorry)
I don't think it is cruel to admit your remaining parent - sm
into a nursing home. Those that think its terrible are just concerned with appearances I think, that and guilt themselves if they ever thought about it. My mom put her mom in a nursing home after she could not care for herself. My grandma actually thrived there. They got her off all her medication and she was felt a lot better, even got engaged to get married again, but broke it off shortly before she died. We lived in PA and her mom in FL. My mom's (adopted) family thought she was such a terrible person for putting her "mom" in a nursing home. My mom's adopted parents did not treat her well at all, would never tell her much about the adoption when she eventually found out about it in the 1950s (smell of scandel somewhere, this was 1935) and my grandparents never really ever wanted children. Needless to say my mom has a less than ideal childhood but she took care and upheld her "responsibilities". Some people take in their parent(s) because they want to make sure the $$$ if there is any stays in the family (or goes to them). I know that is the wheel turning in my DHs brain about his parents, though he says they would never re-marry after the death of the other. His mom has told me she will not remarry, but you never know do you. I think he is wrong about his dad though, I think his dad would do the exact same thing my dad did, i.e. remarry within a year of the mom/wife passing and say bye-bye to any substantial inheritence on a re-marriage. In my case I will "lose" (my husband's thinking) out on about $140K which my husband deeply resents unfortunately. It has caused a lot of distention in the last 2 years between me and my DH that is. I am cool with my dad, it's his life and money; and I have pointed out to him a zillion times that inheritence is a gift, not a right. But yes, to be honest it is disappointing, but as my DH expects to get close to $1 mil from his parents I think we will survive (in a way I hope they disinherit him). Greed can cause all sorts of problems. Along with responsibility comes motive in some cases. I do not want to take in either of my DHs parents, but his fear/greed will induce him to have whichever one is left move in with us probably in the next 5-10 years (they are 76 and 71 right now). Sad.
I'm a current foster parent in Georgia and...sm
have e-mailed you to contact me so I can answer your questions.
I agree. Sounds like a controlling attention-seeking parent so
x
Absolutely, any parent who does less is negligent! Glad my kids are grown, my baby will be 18 in Ju
x
Kinship care versus foster care/adoption
Having been placed in a position where I now have custody of my 3 YO granddaughter and going through the legal system, I sought an online network of relative caregivers for children. I would encourage you, especially since you are in Georgia, that if you take any children into foster care with the idea of adopting them, there is federal law that requires the state to take certain actions in a specific time frame. When a child is removed from it's bio parent(s), the state is required to investigate any possible relatives who can take the child before foster care is considered, but even before that, reunification with the parents is the priority. Once a child enters the system and is in the system for 15 out of any 22 months, the state is required to find permanent placement for the child.
The problem with this is that there are case workers who may favor a foster family and do not seek out relative care. I have a good friend in Georgia who had to fight all the way to the state level to get custody of her grandson after the child was placed from the hospital into a foster care home with the promise that the foster parents would be allowed to adopt. She has now adopted her grandson, but it was a long, hard battle to get the state to admit their own interests were placed above those of the child and/or family.
If you get a child placed through the state, please make certain there is not a relative who wants that child before you get your hopes up. The courts are now favoring return of children to relatives even after a child has spent years with a foster family who hoped to adopt them.
States get bonus federal funds by complying with the time lines and being able to close the case, so some states place children in foster care because it is easier than trying to locate relatives.
Didn't mean to go off on a tangent, but I can't imagine my sweet bella going to someone outside her family.
If it was a clinic, it might have been urgent care, but it was NOT acute care. sm
Acute care refers to work in an acute care setting, a hospital, doing at least History and Physicals, Discharge Summaries, Consultations, Surgery notes, Emergency Department notes, and much more, including GI procedures, Cardiology procedures, Neurological procedures, Pulmonary Function Studies. It goes on and on and it means and acute care hospital setting, not a clinic.
I always figure if they don't care about their dictation, they probably don't care about their
nm
Dont care how many languages you took. Care
x
oh, so if I don't care about my job, I "should" care
you come off as narcissistic.
I dont know. I didnt care then and I dont care now.
Just me
I said he looks like he could take care of me.
i mean that in the sense that i am 5'2" and the REAL MEN I am attracted to are tall and strong and could do things i cannot do. it does not mean i NEED someone to take care of me either. it is just nice to have a natural manly MAN around the house who could when push comes to shove take care of things.
i don't want to hear women's libbers direct me in why i should not need to feel protected as i could do things for myself. of course i can, or if i can't i hire a MAN to do it for me. and the men I hire to do work like painting and electrical work are not effeminate girlie men with hair product and designer jeans.
get off the political soapbox. 
Do you think they really care???
They don't give a rip about their employees-- it's all about the TAT and looking good, and making the big bucks from the clients. When they are out of TAT, they in not within their contract and they lose money. That's why they want to hire so many people. If there is no work, it's OUR problem, not theirs.
I don't think they care too much about...
subscriptions. I just started getting mine free one day and they have just kept coming.I think it is basically an advertising tabloid for coders and HIM people with a slight amount for MT. Lord knows the articles are not worth reading.
I think you do not really care what anyone says, you think you know its the same, so go for it.
x
I am!!!! :) I don't care what YOU say!!
Get over yourself. LMAO
They don't care
Of course they don't care. But the point is that it hurts everybody in the long run. This might be the last generation of wealthy CEOs because there won't be any more $$ to suck out of this country for much longer. And our government is happy to let them do it because it shares in the spoils. GRRRR!
I could care less. :)
..
LOL...you must be a mom, huh? ;) Take care! NM
I don't even care if (sm)
all they want is 10-15 minutes a day, just don't make me wait 23 hours to get that 10 minutes back!
Or they feed you some cockamamie story about why they can't get their work done, but they wait until two hours before it's due back to tell you!
Or give some newbie a break and have them argue with QA over what they need to correct!
Take care of yourself...
I hope your treatment and recovery are speedy and uneventful.
I don't care what they pay
Just tired of all the problems with platforms and "oh, you logged in 3 min late today", etc.
IS care.............*tsk tsk on you*....nm
/
No, they don't care.....sm
All they want is for the work to be done and returned on time. It's business, and it's a different business than any other. I have had family births, deaths, personal illness, moves, etc., etc., and I don't even tell them. I just manage to get my work down around my problems. It's unfortunate, but they really don't care.
It is not that they don't care but
the company that they are contracting with does not care. That is why there is at times an over hire to cover for these things and then when everyone is up and ready to work the work becomes sparse. It is so hard to balance the amount of work with the number of workers with all the variables that get thrown in, sickness, death, etc. And when the company you contract with penalizes you financially because you don't meet the TAT, we all suffer. I am sure that the company is a little frustrated as they were counting on one thing and it is not happening. Put yourself in their shoes and you will probably understand a little more.
Patti
LOL!!!!!!! I don't care much for him either. We need.....
...one of these little character people that "barfs"!!!!!
Why do we care!?!?
Maybe if they were a little more discreet about it! We don't divulge all the details of our lifestyles, do we? I agree with the above poster! Why do they have to march in parades, shout it at the rooftops and ALWAYS ALWAYS be engaging in public displays of affection. You barely see a straight couple even holding hands these days. It's almost like they are rebelling or saying look at us! We're gay and proud! And I am just so sick of it. Okay, so you're gay? Keep it to yourself - then we really wouldn't care!! We really don't need you to PROVE it!! : )
You too, take care................SM
Well, there was absolutely no way I would've known all that you kindly just shared about your personal life, and from that I took a re-lesson just now......that we don't know who we are typing at....and to be more careful in our approaches to our posts.....and I thank you for that because a lot of times I can be misconstrued in my posts and you're not the first person to think I have attacked them. Hence, this communication with you has been a reminder to me.
I hope things get better for you and your children, and they will, I promise, as time does have a way of healing deep wounds. A gentle hug to you from warm and NOT sunny (at least where I'm at) SE USA!
you don't care, but (sm)
Funny how you say you don't care if anyone agrees with what you have to say or not but yet you jump on others about their opinions in a heartbeat. Why do you come here anyway? It seems obvious to me you get your jollies from trying to stir the pot. Well, enjoy it...you're in the right place. For someone who doesn't care what other people think you sure to like pick apart other posters statements.
I don't care for her either...
She's just riding Oprah's coat tails, IMHO! But, I don't watch the show, so don't guess my opinion really amounts to a hill of beans, does it???
I care...no, I really, really do.......
Does anyone really care?
I don't. LOL!
They don't care.
I assumed I would get to work on my prior account and have the new account be secondary. That's what I get for assuming. I'm looking for a side job/new job and going to the food bank today. I worked hard to get off of welfare a decade ago and I'm sliding right back into it.
Because they just don't care
Just had one of those infamous cell phone dictations so gave her every "you know" she said--hey it is verbatim, you know.
Would anyone care to help with
MT survey
www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=364863283944
Do they really care?
I don't think they really care if you thank them or not - I recently was offered a job by one of the major companies that is always recruiting on this board. Before I turned it down, I was getting calls from the recruiter almost every day, trying to convince me, asking if I had any more questions, then when I sent an e-mail explaining that I had a family situation that came up and it would not be beneficial to myself or the company to accept and turning down the job offer, asking her to keep my resume in case something came up in the next couple of months (after which my divorce was finalized), and putting it very nicely, thanking her for the opportunity and she did not even respond, did not acknowledge that I had even e-mailed.
Do they really care?
Maybe not...but this didn't involve a big national, and it's more of a strategic move on my part to refresh her memory of me and maybe to put my name toward the top of the list of applicants she is considering. I think there is only one job opening, and I'm hoping to improve my chances of being the chosen one. Who knows how many interviews she had after me and how well she will remember me.
It is certainly NOT about pt care. they sm
could care less about pt care when you are working for a natl service. To them it is about speed and that is what they pay for, speaking as an employee for webemdex for years and years, all they care about is how fast you can produce the work. If you can pass QA on a random review, then they are fine with that.
I'd go for #2 if you don't care about - sm
the paid holiday's or vacation time; assuming it is time you don't have to earn in advance (like comp time/PTO). I don't get any of what you have as I am an IC; but then again I don't need benefits though a paid sick day or 2 would be nice when you have been at a company for several years, though only an IC.
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