dictation humor - got this from MTSO web site
Posted By: Snow Bunny on 2008-08-08
In Reply to:
>>>This is a collective from Medical Interview Records written by various Paramedics, Emergency Room Receptionists, and (We are afraid) a Doctor or two at major Hospitals.<<<
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The skin was moist and dry.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
She is numb from her toes down.
Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.
While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
The cause of this diarrhea, however, has never been solidified.
Pain is rather constant; exacerbated with changing physicians.
The patient had no chess pain or shortness of breath.
The patient is allergic to Quinine. When she takes it she gets a rash and then whelps.
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MTSO wont tell dr to improve dictation. Too
x
Free dictation samples site
http://www.mt-stuff.com/sample_reports.html
Does anyone know of a site that offers Free dictation samples? n/m
Thanks.
I think you see the humor
or you wouldn't want to keep communicating with me. I think you love it!
Sense of humor.
I have been in the same situation with doctors not spelling out names, etc. I have just quit a national company and have been wondering what to do next. When I read these postings today, I could not help but laugh. Keep your sense of humor as it helps the rest of us get through our days too.
lol.. thank you for adding humor to my otherwise
nm
you need a sense of humor
Get over your bad self. The woman was having fun with a difficult situation - most psychologists would say that is healthy.
As far as your sour attitude - glad you're not in my church.
People whose English language skills are very poor should not be doing jobs where they have to give "Customer support" or "customer service" to English-speaking customer - period. They need to improve their English skills.
If you went to India, do you think they would give you a job speaking in their dialect? Certainly not. They, and most other countries, will not hire foreigners to do jobs that their own citizens are qualified to do. The U.S. is about the only country that does not protect the jobs of its citizens.
Did you have your sense of humor
!
LOL ! Mustang, here you have your humor...nm
nm
We got that point the first day on the job. People still need a little humor
not new, just jokin' ....get a sense of humor
I liked it!! good to see positive humor! ..nm
.
Very funny, I have a sense of humor. nm
x
Specifically the Good Humor
ice creams bars with the chocolate candy surprise inside! Do they still make them? I may have to chase down an ice cream truck. Oh, do they still make THEM? LOL!
*humor* at the expense of one's sexuality &.NM
Because "Jasper" has a sense of humor
And chooses to take this in stride rather than engaging in the usual 'chicken little' antics usually engaged in on these forums, you choose to construe from that that he/she was an inferior employee?
Now I'M laughing...how very presumptious of you!!!
I think we were all kidding! Sarcasm - dark humor...
nm
Good thing you got a sense of humor about it.
x
Thanks for "getting it." Some people have no sense of humor.
I've tried to be friendly and have a sense of humor,
so I just quit..and went about doing my job figuring they didn't have time to socialize. They seem all business... even my QA person, very cut and dry. I've tried joking with her with not much response. I wasn't sure what was expected of me in that respect.
OMG! HAHA! Do they have a Humor Board? You could lead it! nm
nm
The Good Humor ice cream truck! They still
sell some of the products in the store, but it is nowhere near as good. The vanilla ice cream bars covered with toasted almonds! The half and half popsicles with flavors like rasberry and lime that were SO fruity! The Good Humor man in his white outfit! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It was great! 
Jeesh right back at ya - it was meant for humor! sm
Forgot there is no humor here, but I do keep trying! I'm a frustrated standup comedian, what can I say. LOL!
The point is the post was a JOKE... a little humor!!!
People do that. And complaining about those that post on the message boards -- is that not the pot calling the kettle black since you apparently enjoy this as you have posted multiple times today? Others here are free to speak/read just as you are. You are also free to hit the red X button on the corner of the screen if you are in any way unhappy about what is posted.
glad some people have a sense of humor :D
Thanks guys! I was only being funny and meant no harm
I guess teaching took away your sense of humor
That WAS advice. The MT industry STINKS right now.
i do have a sense of humor and i like clever and witty satire.
i do not like i love lucy or archie bunker (reruns). i love seinfeld. i hate slapstick sight jokes. do not entertain the thought that if someone does not find what you think is funny humerous they are w/o a sense of humor. i just know smarter guys i guess and can't even relate to the joke but if you can.......oh well. i am sure it was in fun and jest and you meant no harm. as i said it only provides insight into the person who finds it humerous as to what a person finds funny.
peace.
I am not miserable, I love my job, all is well with me, but gross tacky humor is just that.
z
Guess you're not ready for grown up humor then.
My goal is to eventually add commentary and humor/satire/etc...sm
I'm not talented in all those areas and hope to attract other MTs who are. There's no money in it at this point, unfortunately.
Jay
Sense of humor, tells you "good job!" on the hard ones... nm
Glad someone found humor in that question because I hadn't....until now)
I just wanted to say that I love your sense of humor with the photo you used! LOL nm
m
Hayseed, you crack me up! I LOVE your posts & your humor!
:)
It's hilarious! Shows your stellar sense of humor.
..
Several companies still train on site. In fact, we are piloting an on-site training sm
program, where everyone would come in to the Keystrokes office to train for 1 or 2 weeks. We have a large training room and feel that this may be a way to cover all aspects of an account, be right there to answer questions as they come up and have one-on-one contact.
It will be optional at this point and may not be more effective as remote training, but some people have expressed that they miss the training that you get when you start at a hospital.
We are trying to bridge that gap between working in-house somewhere and working at home.
It may seem out-dated in many ways, but sometimes going back to basics is a good step to take!
I LOVE a woman with a great sense of humor! hahahaha!! nm
d
Love Johnny Depp too. He has a sense of humor and is a great actor.
Love his movies.
I have noticed sometimes I will try to get into a web site and that site will freeze up and I dont
know if I have too many screens opened up and minimized or what. I tried to open a website sent by email and froze up the email screen. Not sure what I am doing.
I subscribe to another web site and within the boards on this site they have
Would anybody be interested if adminstrators would allow us to have this type of board or even put it on the main board. Like on this other board they tell you to go to a certain web site for a coupon for 20% off Barnes and Noble or when Target has reduced prices on seasonal things. Anybody got ideas or bargains they would like to share to save money? We could call it the MT Stars penny-pinchers board.
Puzzling? OP did not find this puzzling, found it AMUSING. It is called a *sense of humor*. LOL
.
Sense of humor intact! Sense of hope as well! LOL
Yep, I knew it was advice, and I appreciate ALL points of view as it gives me perspective. 8-) I've been reading the boards for a while now, and I realized that I'd get the good, the bad, and the ugly, and that's okay!
However, I specifically asked for advice about how to do it rather than whether to do it, though, as I've already decided to defy the odds and give it a go.
Enjoyed the NCLB reference, by the way!
It's THEIR dictation. They want what THEY are
dictating. If they use poor grammar, etc., that's not the MT's fault!!
Many don't trust the MT to make appropriate corrections and I can certainly understand that.
dictation by doc's
you're absolute right about the hospitals doing something about how doctors dictate and it probably wouldn't take that much effort to do it, but they're not going to do it. If the dictation is wrong, the MT will get the blame regardless.
low dictation
This is several hours of time just disappearing.
? min. of dictation per day
What is considered the average amount of minutes for 7.5 hour day. I'm thinking 45 to 60 minutes???
PA dictation
You must be lucky! Our group had two PA's and they literally "outdid" each other to see who could dictate the fastest. I got used to them, of course, listening to them all the time but many times had to stop and look up a med to be sure of the dosage because I couldn't tell if they were dictating 5 mg. 50 mg. or whatever! They seem to have an "attitude" too; we had one female one who really thought she was hot stuff. If they were that good, why didn't they spend the extra time and $$ to go to med school???
RE; Dictation
Kept forever. Chart is microfilmed and kept. Regular transcription is kept for 10 years supposedly at hospital I worked for.
I just had a dictation where
he stopped dictating mid sentence in the chief complaint and I Iistened to silence for about seven minutes (maybe he fell asleep, I dunno) and then he says, "hello? hello?" and hangs up!  Gotta luv this job! 
60 min of dictation
How long should it take someone to do about 60 minutes of dictation on average.
Thanks you.
60 min of dictation?
My own personal average is about 1 hour for each 15 minutes of dictation.
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