cigs took out my parents, grandparents, aunt
Posted By: uncle - but my kids do NOT smoke..sm on 2006-09-15
In Reply to: I held both of my parents as they died from complications of smoking. - oh, Lord
Unfortunately, I still smoke though - it's the worst drug habit I have encountered in my many decades. For me, it's the only drug habit I have had. It's tough, so I sympathize with the ones who are trying to quit and KUDOS TO THE ONES WHO HAVE!!!!!
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Ditto - have an airpot of coffee & my cigs
Have tried everything available to quit, which I don't believe will ever happen as long as I'm doing transcription. Anytime I've quit for a week or two while not working - it's all gone down the tubes when I start working again. Have a really hard time handling the stress of this job anymore & smoking has become my psychological release & relaxant. Without it - my computer would have been flung out the window years ago & I'd be without a job!!
Grandparents
 You didn't give specifics on what they do with your kids, but as a grandparent, I find that the kids (without spoiling them) understand that there are different rules at different places. It's a relief for them to be allowed to stay up a little later, get a little more one-on-one time, be wrestled with, etc. etc. They know how to behave and understand that their parents are the true disciplinarians. Don't cheat yourself out of some alone time if they want to keep them overnight because you're afraid they might not eat a green bean for a day or get too much attention. I do respect their parents' wishes on diet, health, and rest, but I don't think they can get too much love from others.
Grandparents
Thanks for sharing and clarifying. I understand completely. Kids go through enough ridicule and put downs from others in society. The one constant positive in their lives should be a grandparent. I sympathize with your daughter who is tall. Our granddaughter is off the chart on height. She's 8. There is no one who meets her who does not say, "You are so tall." This is said in a way that sounds like it's ugly or something, and she is getting really self conscious. Life is hard. Kids need support and unconditional love. Sounds like you're doing a fine job.
The grandparents thing.....sm
Those kids are your responsibility, as you obviously very well know, whether you're physically with them or not.
You're right. Hubby and grandma are WRONG. Do not let anyone bully you or guilt you into thinking otherwise. 'Nuff said.
I'm sure your grandparents would be ashamed of you
maybe that's why you hate successful whites so much - you're jealous
not all kids go through the no grandparents stage (sm)
my son is 18 YO and guess where he takes his g/f on Friday and Saturday nights? To his grandparents house! He and his friends love to hang out at their house...dont' know exactly why, but I'm glad! At least I know they aren't out getting into trouble. If you start out building a strong relationship with your grandkids, they will always want to be with you...and don't act too much like a grandma to them, more like a good, um not friend, but just a good person! I think that's why my kids love the most about their grandparents. Kids are a blessing...at any age! 
Hey Aunt Lou
My cat "Nosey" passed about 7 years ago at the age of 20. She was most wonderful but developed kidney cancer. You know what I did at that time, I wrote a special letter to "Nosey" telling her about her life with me and my son, all the things she loved to do, her favorite foods, her favorite toys. I documented in that letter the day, date and time that she passed and the things that I buried with her as well as where we buried her, overlooking the lake amongst the flower garden and telling her the beautiful new rosebush we planted next to her in remembrance! I put one copy in a ziplock bag with her and kept one in her file in my desk. I have a file for all my babies. I do truly hope she has a couple more good years with you. I am sure she knows your love and will always be looking to see you again after she has passed. If perchance you go first, you will only blaze the trail for her!!
Thanx Aunt Lou
Now I need every one to pray for my 17 1/2 year old Pup.....I MUST leave Wednesday for Parris Island to pick up my son from the Marines for his 10 day leave.....but my little dog is not doing too well right now. I have already made arrangements for him to stay at the vets while I am gone for four days....but, believe me, that does not make me feel that great. I want to be with him. I thought about taking him with me but then worry that the trip will be too much, although he loves to ride in the car; he's really never been left behind before. What in the world should I do???? I will be staying at the military hotel on the base and they don't allow pets! The only thing in the world that comes before my "puppy" is my son.. but this could be a bitter sweet trip. I will be so much more than happy to see my son again, but I most definitely want to be with my dog when the time comes. So please say some prayers and ask that Chi Chi will hang in there long enough until my son and I return! After all these years together it would seem so unfair for us to not be together at that time. Any support and suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Hey there Aunt Lou....
The trip was well worth it....my son's graduation from Marines at Parris Island was most somber, impressive and moving....his platoon was the Honor Platoon. We are home now, however, we came back to our little tiny barrier island Friday right after graduation, (due to Hurricane Dennis), instead of Saturday. I had my own Crucible to endure.....went for approximately 42 hours with only 3 1/2 hours of sleep....still can't sleep but BOY am I tired.
My "puppy" made it OK at the Vet's office but still is not doing well overall. My son asked me this morning if Chi Chi would be alive when he comes back in about a year, unfortunately I had to tell him that I did not think so. You are so kind to remember my son and my pup. I will post when and if there is anything going on with either of my "babies" because I know you will give me support. Thank you and God bless you.
To aunt lou
Not off - right here with you. I haven't stopped working since I got up and will be on until midnight. Then, tomorrow, I start again for another 8 hours.
Merry Christmas! I don't want to sound like Pollyanna, but I'm glad to have the work. Didn't have any last Christmas season, so I'm just thinking to myself that things are looking brighter.
My aunt really did not like it when
she broke her hip and rehab came to see her. She said not much time spent on her as typing away on that computer.
Not a Mom, just step-Mom and aunt
I tried for years to have a child, lost many early on in pregnancy and it was many years ago prior to the advances that they have now adays. But I do have two step-daughters -- one remembers me one does not even though I am divored from their father. She and I have stayed close and neither have seen their Dad since our divorce. But I have two nephews and a niece in the area that I am very close to who now have children ranging from 4 to 18. One of my great nephews told me yesterday, I am not a Mom but close, better than a Grandma because I am special Aunt Patti. So that made my day. For some reason the Lord chose for me to be that special person to my many nephews and nieces which I truly enjoy. And I get to send home when they become "too much". Love it and cherish my time with them.
Not all of us are parents. Not everyone had caring parents. nm,
nm
Not OP - I wish more grandparents and uncles/aunts would worry about doing things wrong - sm
My in-laws like to play mind games with our kids...which is the cause of a lot of "parental headaches", thus we curtail visits to about once a month, supervised for about 6-8 hours (they live 2 hours away). We plan to never let them have the kids overnight, etc. though DHs mom constants asks....so through guilt my DH is now considering it (which I won't allow so I will be forced to go and stay too which I don't want to do but will) but he wants his brother to stay too as a condition (he's winds the kids up like crazy). So we have 3 winners who love to spoil the kids but don't care about the consequences of their actions after they leave. It has gotten better now the kids are not so nuts anymore after a visit, though grandma and uncle are always saying they want the kids to visit, stay , etc. If they had common sense then I probably wouldn't mind the break (no near relatives) but that is not the case. I just hope I learn enough from them and remember and don't make the same mistakes when I have grandchildren. Yes, my kids love them, and their other grandparents (now just my dad) but you just can't have the attitude we can do what we want because we are the grandparents. Parents have there way of doing things and unless it is harmful to the child should be respected and followed.
I think that grandparents who babysit for free are just making their kids dependent on them
Maybe stop babying her and she'll respect you more.
I doubt this generation of kids will grow up to watch their grandchildren - they're way too selfish.
Just a suggestion.
oops, Great-aunt's name was Molly *lol*...nm
My aunt has extremely low rate for land, no frills but
I was told according to where you live- mine no frills over $30.00 a month but now say I can have a land phone, will not work, but still pay for it? Erks me.
Global warming my Aunt Fannie... Check history, there have been numerous cycles like this
x
My parents use it
I can't help you with the pre-exisiting conditions question, but my parents use AARP for all of their insurance needs. They saved a lot of money when they switched and have been very happy with them.
I don't think that her parents did it, but I do think..sm
that they are covering up for the person who did it (maybe the brother).
To the poster that said the parents just let them go to
party and drink was sad.
My parents "spared the rod" and I'm now (sm)
a self-sufficient, responsible, mature adult, furthering my education, handling my responsibilities, and not calling home begging my parents for money. So just because some parents "spare the rod" doesn't mean their kids are going to turn out to be spoiled little bloodsuckers the rest of their lives. There are other ways to discipline kids without spanking. Yes, some kids need a good spanking once in a while, IMHO, but there are other forms of discipline that are equally as effective. Just my opinion.
Up to the parents, but they dont do it
Hey, I feel like this, the parents have the only ones who have a right to spank or otherwise discipline kids
I don't have issues with my parents are they are
both deceased, but I have "disowned" all my brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews. I grew up believing I was the black sheep of the family and maybe I am, but their lives are so screwed up and I never heard from them unless they needed something and there was lots of bitterness and anger about various events - mainly my parent's death. The only way I was able to deal with the issues was to disown them. I was not interested in making things better because they aren't willing to make an effort and I just don't have time for that.
My oldest sister hated my mom and was very ugly to her. My mom did so much for her. All I heard was what a lowsy mother she was. Well, my sister's daughter had a baby and gave it away, did drugs big time, drinking big time, has lived with several guys. Her son is gay and can't hold a job, has had so many wrecks he has lost his license twice that I know of. They just keep buying him vehicles very time he wrecks one. He can barely make a move without having to ask mommy, is a druggie/drinker/liar. Only my sister can't see all of this. We all make mistakes and I don't claim to be a perfect parent, but.....
My parents are retired and
do very well on their savings. It's called preparation. People make their own choices. If you don't PREPARE and do not take RESPONSIBILITY, you will eventually be in such a sad situation. It's not anyone's fault but their own for making poor decisions or failing to make better ones.
Morally, yes - I think other aid should become available to the "mom and pop" situation you are talking about but not reporting and paying taxes on income? No. That is wrong, period.
My boys were taught to pay taxes on their incomes from various jobs. They paid taxes and they paid tithes on it, no matter what it was.
It's called DOING THE RIGHT THING...which seems to be a forgotten concept among the older ones and a brand-spanking new concept among the young ones.
Tax evasion, dear, is ANYONE who fails to report appropriately. They may spend the bulk of money going after big bucks tax evaders but the crime is still the same. It is dishonest and it cheats every loyal, law-abiding citizen.
It doesn't matter if the job is easy or or not (i.e., your reference to house cleaning not being easy). THat has nothing to do with whether a person deserves to report/pay taxes on their income or not.
I am a few miles away from there. SIL parents
z
Parents just had them done at $5000 an eye. nm
s
I never did think the parents did it. I'm glad they got him (nm)
nm
I think the parents should be held
responsible. I'm sure the rules are less strict for older kids (he is 16). But it seems a waste of time for the teachers if he is going to only show up part of the every week. He seems to think it is funny that he has really, really bad grades. Seems he is just wasting a spot at school and the teacher's time.
what a brave son (and parents)
How old was he when he did that? He earned every penny it sounds like. You couldn't pay me enough to get that close to snakes (shudder). 
My parents did it about 26 years ago - $20K then -sm
that was a 25,000 gallon, cement with plaster in-ground pool with heater, 2 blowers and skimmers, a swimout (a seat in the deep end), steps in shallow end, ladder in deep end with diving board, with a large cement patio area around the whole pool. Pool still in great shape though it does need to be replastered now (can see cement where it has worn thin). My dad just sold the house so its the new owner's issue now.
Take a look at who their parents are. Where's the blame now? nm
v
If not my kid, then the parents need to step up
and take care of their own child. If I need to work, do not babysit period. I took care of my children when they were little and they can take care of theirs. No time to spare when working.
My parents both worked and over the summer they LET us go to
summer camp AND it wasn't cheap for them either. Three kids going to camp 5 days a week (Thursdays were skate day), compare that to what that would cost today. My brother, sister, and I were at camp from 8 AM to around 5 or so and yeah we were beat when we got home, but my folks made sure we weren't "latchkey" kids or running the neighborhood getting into who knows what kind of trouble. My folks spent quality time with us, too, in the evenings, on weekends, holidays, and vacation, but they BOTH had to work to support us. So, for the person who has unjustly persecuted CampMom, please try to be more considerate.
P.S. I should also add that my siblings and I have some of the best memories of summer camp. Did I say that I'm 42 years old?
For parents, what do you think of your kids' friends?
I am wondering if it's ME or if it's my kids' friends that's the problem. I just can't stand barely any of them. We have little sailors running around cussing, compulsive liars, thieves, two-faced "unfriends", blackmailers, anger management problems, slobs, and perverts running around here. And the violent and graphically disgusting games these kids try to play. Is this everywhere? Or am I just overly sensitive? Parents can't choose their kids' friends because the kids'll rebel against the control, right? I just feel like I can't have anyone over here because I'm constantly correcting them and cleaning up after them. They don't listen worth a darn anyway. I certainly don't want my kids to go to their houses if these kids behave this badly here.
I tried going into details, but this post got so long. I don't think it's our neighborhood either because we have to drive for playdates with some of these kids. What, do we just attract the people with issues? I try to tell myself that these are just kids or perhaps their home life isn't in line with the same value system as we have. I try to be tolerant because some of these kids have had problems in their lives. However, having problems is no excuse for bad behavior. I'm no perfect prude and neither are my kids. We've had our share of problems. I also know I can't "shelter" my kids from the outisde world. But geez, it's just ridiculous. Whatever happened to the days when parents were parents and kids behaved? Children should not be cussing, stealing and telling horrific stories of murder and incest.
To give you an example, one of these little punks even told the whole neighborhood that my husband and I were druggies and dealers. We found out about it when our elderly neighbor came over and told us. We've always been totally against drugs, not even experimenting with them when we were teens. Plus, we both have to go through yearly drug screening tests at work, too. What is with the world today?
To all you parents of student athletes - sm
My son came to me today to tell me he is quitting football. A sport he has played since he was in the 3rd grade. He is now a junior in high school. He is an awesome offensive linesman - scholarship bound this year with academics with it. He has a 4.0 GPA, takes AP courses and could have a scholarship coming his way.
Regardless of all of that, I am just heartbroken to see this young talented man just walk away from the game he once loved. I have been crying all morning.
He tells me, "it just is not fun anymore. " He does not want to play. He wants to concentrate on his academics.
This is halfway through his camp, and games start next week. He started on the varsity team as a Freshman.
I am so upset, but I won't let him see it. I do not want him to play a sport to please me or anyone else, but himself. I have to hold all of this in and it is killing me. This is his decision, and I have talked to him over the past few days about, trying to not let him know how disappointed I would be if he quit. Well, today, he went to camp and told his coaches he is not playing, handed his equipment in, and so forth.
Any advice from any of you parents out there for me as to how to handle it from a loving mother point of view! I hide in the bathroom and cry so he doesn't see me. For the simple reason, if he sees me crying, he will continue to play just for me. I really don't want that. He needs to play for himself.
Needless to say, the coach called this morning after he handed in his equipment to talk to him. I am sure there are more calls to come. His teammates will be over this afternoon after camp, I am sure of it. How do I handle this - better yet, how do I help him handle this?
P.S. If he feels like he is letting his teammates down, he will give in and play just for them or for me -
To all you parents of student athletes - sm
This has happened to my daughter this year as well. Her reason was that her coach was a jerk and it wasn't fun anymore. She was a great fastpitch pitcher and he tried to change her mechanics and messed her all up. She didn't want to disrespect him by "telling on him" but it finally came out. When she was pitching it just wasn't her. She was not having any fun any more.
I would suggest finding out "why it is not fun any more." Then if it turns out to be the coaches, find another team he can play on. That is what we did. HTH!
Hope
I do have a neighbor whose parents live
in Houma. She went down there to help them get their things in order. I think she had to bring a generator. I have not talked to her as of yet. I will see her tomorrow and let you know.
Go get to know the family and the boy, introduce yourself to the parents.
That way you can get a feeling on the situation.
No, parents don't usually sit there through football practices.
Games, yes. Practice, no. Cut the apron strings already. The kid would probably get teased with Mommy on the bench every single day watching him practice. It's just not done when kids hit middle school and high school. Let the coach do his job without parental scrutiny.
Same thing happens when we go to my parents' house
All the judgmental "repent you sinner crap". Can't have a nice visit and just talk about something normal. Makes me nuts.
has anyone belonged to Parents Without Partners?
I'm looking to join. I'm 31, just wanted some opinions.
One of the greatest gifts I have are my parents.
My father is a very strong Christian man. He worked hard all our lives and provided a living well enough that allowed my mother to stay home with us.
He took us to church, structured rules for us as teenagers, and loved us fiercely.
As I grew up and got married, I found my husband to be completely incapable of providing for me as my father (and mother) did. While it left me confused for quite a while, I finally realized that no man was worth my time or energy unless he could take care of me as well as or better than my father did and that I do.
I am shocked and hurt at the number of stories I hear from others everywhere about their lack of a wonderful family and childhood.
Honestly, I feel like I am the most blessed person I know considering my family, my children, and where I am in life.
My father gave me strength, discipline, a love for truth and self responsibility, and most importantly the key to knowing God.
You imply people who don't are bad MTs or bad parents
x
there R plenty of states where parents....n/m
@@
My parents both worked for various grocery
stores and my dad just retired from Safeway. Neither of them have ever heard of tipping for taking groceries out to the car.
caring for elderly parents
My dad died last year at age 89, my mom died last month at 92. My husband and I and our three kids moved in to my parents house 8 years ago to help my parents (I also have 3 siblings). We lived with my parents, and I cooked, cleaned, took them to doctors appointments, etc. My siblings did not do much, even living close by. It was a mistake, my mother said it was her house and not mine and Alzheimer was setting in on both parents. we ended up moving out as I was very unhappy as was my family. My parents health got worse, 24 hour nursing care, finally a nursing home for mother. They had to sell their house to pay for the nursing home because they did not trust anyone to have anything in their names and now everything goes to probate for the estate, which is now hardly anything. Anyone who has aging parents should contact an elder lawyer and know the laws of your state, have bank accounts put in sibling name or even lawyer's name. I really tried to take care of my mother and father but they were very stubborn, would not listen to anyone, took risks and fell etc, and it was not a good thing for anyone to watch. My siblings were all in charge of my parents care for the last four years and they realized what I had gone through. It is very difficult and you try to help but sometimes it does not work. Yes, I loved my parents and tried the best I could, but sometimes it just will not work with living with them as they get so set in their ways. I am a very easy going person. I just know that I will set up will and trusts, etc for my family
I do, because they took care of me. If they were absentee parents, then I'd say no. nm
x
I did not work as a teen as my parents would not let me - sm
I did look for work though and tried to get work locally (i.e. walk or ride bike) but there was not much around us and the 2 positions I tried for I did not get unfortunately. My mom refused to drive me anywhere (driven out by my 2 older brothers so I suffered), I bummed rides everywhere or rode my bike, but my 3 best friends either had a car or had one available to them so I got around okay, but was not allowed to work (only 1 of my friends worked but that was only because her father had a business he ran out of the house). So I tried to earn money where I could but it was few are far between, dog sitting, cutting neighbor's grass on a regular basis for $10 a pop every 2 weeks, the odd babysitting job (not a lot of little kids where I lived at the time), think I made about $25 a month in the summer months. I wish they had let me work while I was in school. I did work after I graduated though, my summer job (warehouse/front office gopher where my mom worked) before college was my supply money for college, and I work a few PT jobs during school as well, probably $50 a week but it helped. But YES teenagers should be allowed to work as long as their grades are good. We plan to have our 2 work at King's Dominion once they are old enough (only 14 miles away) for summer jobs, I might too, who knows!
Parents: Are your kids spoiled? sm
For instance, do they do chores that are age appropriate, do their own homework, get themselves up in the morning and ready for the day if they're older than say age 10? Here's how it works in our house:
6-year-old: Responsible for cleaning her room, feeding her fish and bunny rabbit and her bathroom each week. Puts dirty clothes into the hamper and puts up clean clothes except those that have to be hung, which we do since she's not tall enough. Likes to mop the kitchen floor so we let her do that. Does her own homework after I make sure she remembers the directions.
15-year-old: Has to clean her own room and bathroom - alternates the bathroom cleaning with the 6-year-old since they share a bathroom. If she cooks anything that's not a meal for everyone she has to clean up after herself. She's now learning to do laundry - my DH always took care of that for her in the past or her mom did, but I've forced the issue that she can do her own laundry now that she's 15. Also has to do her own homework without help from us. For instance, while doing English she commonly asks for the meaning of a word. I tell her to go to webster.com and look it up or grab the dictionary - which is how we learned as kids. Also her dad (and bio-mom) used to help do her homework by looking up stuff and writing the answers which she'd re-write but that stopped while we were dating as I got him to realize that he wasn't helping her by doing this and she needed to do her own school work and not whine to get him to help. She is also required to get herself up and out the door for school in the morning, on time, and knows that if she oversleeps and misses the bus because she's goofing off then she gets no PC or TV privileges for the day. It only took her 1 time of missing the bus to learn to get up on time.
What about your household?
More surprising is what the parents are letting them do. sm
My daughter is in 6th grade. There is a girl in her class who is ELEVEN years old. Now keep the age in mind for a minute here.
This 11-year-old girl has piercings in one eyebrow, one side of her nose, her bottom lip, her tongue AND her belly button. Both ears are also pierced all the way around with about 12 studs in each ear. She wears full makeup and tight, low slung jeans. She told my daughter that she is getting a tattoo for her 13th birthday.
Sort of a "teenage right of passage" so to speak? After all her parents have pretty much run out of things to give her permission to do.
I've met the "parents" and it's obvious that the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree.
Shall I suggest a uvula piercing for her big 13th?
|
