below
Posted By: anon on 2006-01-15
In Reply to: Can I cry on your shoulders this morning? - Kar
I don't know you, and neither does anyone else that posted here. Most of those that posted had suspicious minds and probably circumstances that made those suspicious minds. I understand their opinions, and I understand your situation.
I had a husband for almost 10 years who "loved me" and called me his "best friend" and the "best thing that ever happened to him" right up until the day he found another woman. He was a tugboat maintenance tech and was gone on the boat for two weeks at a time. I spent a multitude of dollars and a multitude of time attempting to get him back into the position that he loved and wanted. I gave up my midwest home and moved to the east coast so that he could be closer to his family and his job and didn't have to drive 17 hours home every two weeks. He was two weeks on the boat and two weeks home. My father was sick with cancer. His father was sick with congestive heart failure. We sold our home in the midwest and moved to VA to be closer to his family and job. Six months later, after buying a home in VA and him being closer to his family, and being on the boat for two weeks at a time, he found himself another woman. He left me for her. He left me unemployed and alone in a strange state. His family abandoned me, as he was their son and whatever he did was okay. My father passed away while I was stuck in VA and I had no funds to go home for my own dad's funeral, while he was marrying his new "girlfriend" he met while he was on the tugboat. I was the "bad guy" because I was keeping him from "being happy". Meanwhile, I never got to attend my own father's funeral because I did not have the finances to go home, because my beloved husband could not afford to support two households.
I am not saying that all men are like this. I am not saying to be suspicious of every move. Just keep your eyes open and your heart closed. My husband told me he loved me the day he went to be "with her". and he told me he loved me three days later when he came to be home with me, but he wanted at least six months to make up his mind on who he wanted to be with, her or me, and agreed to marriage counseling in between, but called HER the first visit we went to the counselor, at 2 in the morning, when he thought I was asleep. Be Careful. Be on guard. Respect him, but be cautious. Not all men are the same, but alot are. They want their cake and to eat it too, but only take yourself and your needs into consideration, as well as your children. Do not be ashamed to hire a PI. Do what you have to do to protect your interests. No one is perfect. No one is pure. Trust your instincts. If you feel there is something wrong, there probably is. I have been there. I sympathize with you. but be strong for yourself and your kids. If he is cheating, then better off knowing now. Find yourself. Find your purpose in life. This may not be the road you are supposed to be on. I wish you all the best. Good luck
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