You should take the boyfriend out of the equation. sm
Posted By: what I think on 2005-09-27
In Reply to: I'm emotionally and financially stuck - Needing Support Ladies
I don't understand what you mean financially you can't leave? I'm a single mother (divorced) with twin boys age 11. My net income is about 2,000 a month and I get child support of $500.00 a month. I'm sorry but the phrase "I stayed because of the kids" is no good. I do believe you need an emergency fund.
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Boyfriend who is depressed.
A great therapist I used to work for would tell folks in your situation, that you ARE not trained in counseling, therefore, you can not help him in the way he needs. It's just not your job so to speak. Go easy on yourself, it sounds like you have been very supportive, you now just need to decide how long your willing to do so.
My daughter is 10 also and just had her first boyfriend...
I was very upset about it at first. At my friend's suggestion, I sat down with my little girl and asked her exactly what she thought it meant to have a boyfriend. I asked her if they would be holding hands, if they would be kissing. She was shocked and a little embarrassed, but I'm glad we had that talk because I don't think it occurred to her that he might expect those things.
I also made it very clear that young relationships last days, not years. So, when he broke up with her after 27 days (she counted) she wasn't all that shocked and probably took it better than she would have if we hadn't talked about it.
Boyfriend is a contractor
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Horizontally, but my boyfriend has to cut his off and eat it
He had his two front teeth knocked out as a teenager playing baseball. They fixed his teeth, but he can't bite down into anything like that...corn on the cob, apples, etc. So he cuts it off with a knife and eats it.
Please help with "discussion" with boyfriend (argument)
Boy, I love that this board is available. I'm an IC and only have catastrophic insurance so there's no mental health access available for me.
Anyway, here it is:
1. I've noticed over the years that my boyfriend has periods of what seems to be a depression. It impacts his treatment of me, it then kind of upsets our routine and, of course, it upsets me. It seems that NOTHING I do or say can get him out of it. In fact, the perkier or more cheerful I try to be, the more he withdraws (I must pretty get annoying, too, do ya think? with all that perkiness). So I just try to stay out of his way and it usualy doesn't last more than about 10 days, usually more like 3-4. Sometimes he can go up to as long as a month or two without one of these episodes.
2. When I try to talk to him about my concerns he generally goes into a denial thing. It's usually a given, with him, that anything wrong in our relationship or even sometimes in his relationships with others, is absolutely my fault, but that's another story. So when I mention casually or carefully that he seems down, is everything all right it kind of makes him get mad and aggressive and usually he will say "yeah, WHY?" kind of in an ugly way. So as I said, usually I say nothing. On occasion, he has admitted that he gets down at times but that's all he'[ll say, and then later he doesn't seem to remember that he admitted this.
3. A while back I approached him about his depressed mood and he got kind of defensive. I mentioned that he acts particularly down around his brother and that his brother had said that he noticed he seemed depressed quite a bit lately and thought he was "suicidal" although I think the brother was just kind of exaggerating on the suicidal thing. I only mentioned the brother commenting on his being down because, as always, my boyfriend usually denies any problem, and says it just my making things up.
4. Today my boyfriend got very angry that I had told him that his brother said he thought he seemed depressed - what kind of a girlfriend would mention something like that. I said "a caring one" and should I just "pretend nothing is wrong" and no one else sees this either? I said it wasn't meant to be an attack but a reaching out. A couple other folks have seen my boyfriend in his depressed state and commented on it also (I have never told him that). I said one of the reasons I mentioned his brother's comment was because he always negates what I say, tells me it's basically all in my head, nothing is wrong with him....blah-blah-blah.
5. He asked me how I would feel if my family talked to HIM about them thinking I was depressed. I said I would be touched and concerned and most of all would feel like they really cared about me. I certainly wouldn't be enraged. He says I am lying about that. He said it over and over that I couldn't possibly feel that way. I said that depression is not like calling someone dishonest or cruel, that it's out of that realm completely. That when people ask about how you are doing that they care about you. He laughs cruelly at me when I say these things. He also says this has driven a wedge into our relationship, that he can't trust me and that all I want to do say mean things about him. I say "huh, what in the heck are you talking about?"
6. Incidentally his sister committed suicide after cycles of depression for many years. The family knew she had problems but didn't really get involved or try to contact her or do an intervention in the weeks before her suicide. Most of all, they didn't talk to each other about what was going on either. I was thinking this was perhaps family tradition to turn away from highly charged emotional issues? I don't know, as I said, I don't operate like that. I'm more from the school of "hey, there it is - let's talk about it. But everytime I try to talk about it he denies it or tells me I'm lying.
HELP!!!!
No way, my DD has JUST started going in cars w/boyfriend. nm
x
DJ AM, nicole Richie's ex boyfriend
He's got a real manly look about him that must makes me melt!
My boyfriend ordered me flowers last week from....sm
1-800-flowers but they dropped the ball and still haven't delivered. They sent him an e-mail at 6:30 last night stating that they wouldn't deliver as promised yesterday and we've both had a lot of problems getting through to a "human" to get this resolved. They still haven't been delivered and it's now 1:15 p.m. the day AFTER Valentine's Day. So much for ordering ahead and paying an extra "delivery guaranteed on time" fee.
My daughter met her boyfriend on Myspace. He's an wonderful guy.
Be careful, yes, but don't automatically assume that everyone on a specific site is out to do harm. It just isn't so.
My boyfriend who is a school bus driver now makes more than me...
by $1.00 an hour. Only because they have a union, I guess, because the trend now would be to make them slave labor, as well....but their union holds on by a thread...
I have been an MT for over 14 years, started in the hospitals making what I make now, and am now working for a company (top of the line in the business) who says to stay competitive the MT pay has been cut. I was told to work more hours to make up the difference.
This is no longer a profession, and I think if we are suddenly required to be certified (which the AAMT is pushing very hard), I would highly contest this as I no longer consider myself a professional. We get paid only per line, lose our health benefits, if we do not work a required amount of hours, and are treated as laborers, not professionals.
Does anyone know, if any other 'professions' require certification for nonhourly positions, no guaranteed work, and no real long-term job security...
For myself, I can barely pay my rent now, there is no way I could afford a certification.
In other words, I would be expected to act as a professional, but would never ever be treated as one. I mean, what would WE get out of it?
Does anyone care anymore about people. When I first started working at 14, every job I ever had employees were always treated like they mattered...and were the heart of the job, the old 'we are nothing without the employees' - that is all thrown out like trash now and the mantra is we are nothing, we do not matter, we can be replaced, shut up and just do your work, your paycheck is your reward. What a bunch of crap and what a way to keep people down.
I was in shock when I saw my paycheck, and my boyfriend is making a whole dollar more an hour than I am...and that was a good, full 2 weeks of work for me, with the most lines I have typed since being with this company.
Can you imagine...
my boyfriend's union has helped him to be laid off 6 months this year already...
Sure Union's PROTECT the workers... okay that's fine. but they also do plenty of other stuff that is not cool with me. I like the idea of them getting paid a good amount for what they do, but then there are times when if something happens on a job, for example, two workers get in a fight, they may get fired from that particular job, but re-hired with another one that hires union workers. It makes no sense. Obviously I see the point of unions so workers are not taken advantage of... but like someone else posted, someone would sneak away to sleep during her job with the union. I mean, have you seen DOT workers? Cal Trans ? i dont think I EVER see them working and I'm gonna guess they are a union (although I can't be sure).
For sure transcription needs something, but I don't think a union is it. Although I don't think we will ever have anything to protect or help us... too little "higher up" people know the problem.
sitting in my computer room, typing away when my boyfriend at the time, called me from work. nm
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