You really need some counseling and anger management
Posted By: W)W - you have some serious issues, dear on 2006-04-29
In Reply to: well, bully for you..............sm - my grandparents came here in the 1800s...sm
tsk, tsk, tsk
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anger management
I really think that humor is a good tool for anger management! Friends will send some really funny emails that will just crack me up even when I am in the worst mood ever, it always helps...or sometimes just going for a good run to burn off some steam? There are a lot of things, also I like to look up at the big guy and ask for some help there, that helps me quite abit!!
anger management
I love it!!! What a fun game!
Anger management
Just get away and go out for a brisk walk and possibly a swim in a pool if one is available. Go for a hike in the woods. I can sympathize with you. We do not have an easy job and it can really test our metal at times.
What's your anger management strategy?
I'm finishing up a day of the most horrendous ESL I've heard in a long time. I don't leave blanks, even if that means spending 20 minutes on a 1-minute report trying to figure it out. This in turn causes me much distress and I know I'm not alone, as others frequently mention the pitfalls of ESL-hell.
After I finish posting this, I'm going to go outside and do something to release this built-up anger that will probably get me hurt. How do you guys do it without going absolutely insane?!?
Talk about anger management! SM
I work for that famous company that has 70% of the work done in India. Well, those Indian MT's must be great at ESL's, because I have been getting less of those and more of American doctors going a mile a minute. When I receive them, they sound like they are on fast forward. I can slow them down some, but that distorts the sound. I have never had a problem and I have been doing this for close to 20 years. I feel I have been emotionally machine gunned with dictation.
I would love to borrow (from below) anyone's dog, hatchet, margarita or, for that matter, anyone's ESL report. Thanks for letting me vent.
Have you seen Anger Management with Jack N? Worst movie ever! nm
d
Should it be "life cycle management" or "lifecycle management"?
Having a debate at work.
Consider counseling
Sometimes an objective opinion from a person you respect can give you some insight that you have disregarded or give you positive suggestions on improving your life. It's worth a try.
counseling is a must.
I have only been married 4-1/2 years myself, so I am not an expert in this field, but I think you need to do everyting in your power to make this marriage work before you call it quits. Whether your husband will agree to go to couseling or not, YOU need to see someone (marraige couseler, pastor, etc.). If you can get your husband to go, that's awesome. He may take the advice differently if it is coming from someone other than you. Men tend to think we nag a little! I have never been to marriage counseling, and I have never been in a situation like yours, but if I were, I think I would give it my all before I throw in the towel!
Why don't you go to counseling with him?
At least once - and ask for help in dealing with his calls...
It really is an illness.
Wow you need some seriously counseling. sm
I am very very sad for you. What a very shallow and pathetic thing to do.
Please, go get counseling before you give up ---
It can really help you two see things in a different light and get to what is really going on. My situation was nothing like yours (different issues) when we decided to get counseling after 17 years of marriage. I was very doubtful it would help one bit and was ready to just get out. After 4 weeks we made some changes, did some reading, talked things over together and with the counselor, and today my marriage is better than it has ever been. I think it can be done if BOTH parties are willing to give and make some changes. Good luck. :)
Bankruptcy vs counseling
I went through an ugly, expensive divorce - after 22+ years. He had the girlfriend but he wanted me to loose everything and fought through several attorneys. I tried the counseling -- finally went through Christian counseling as their fees were the lowest and they seemed the most honest -- but after everything and to keep my house did file Chapter 13. I feel better doing the Chapter 13 as at least I am paying back something to everyone and did not leave them all hanging. Am paying back 25 cents on the dollar to credit cards. Just be careful should they offer you to cut down the balance if you will "pay in full" as what is not paid will be considered "income" and you have to pay income tax on it. I still do not feel good with doing the Chapter 13 and don't understand how a lot of people can do this several times as I saw in court when I went there. It is not easy to walk away from the debts that you made and truly owe but there are some circumstances that make it necessary. I for one am glad of the new laws as I don't think it is truly unfair to make people make an attempt to pay back what they owe, at least partial. Some of the counseling groups I talked with -- the ones with the best reputations-- were going to charge anywhere from $100 to $150 to handle my money and I could be putting that on a payment to a credit card and so Iooked long and hard. You can also negotiate directly with your credit cards but they put a "stop use" on them and you cannot be late with one payment. But make an attempt and you will feel better about yourself. Just my thoughts and experience. Patti
Credit counseling
Yes, it does go on your credit report. I explained this to my banker that I had not had a problem before in paying my bills, just that I had too many. My banker reviewed my payment history and still approved the loans I requested. Each case is individual, and going through credit counseling may or may not affect your ability to get loans in the future.
She needs to attend counseling regardless!
She will find a way around the restrictions you have imposed if she wants to keep losing weight. You cannot follow her around day and night. It is really easy to hide weight loss if one wants to. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to get a handle on later. It took me YEARS to overcome this myself. Hope it works out.
I agree, she does still need counseling...
She needs to meet with someone who knows how to handle a situation like this. Going to counseling might also help you both learn how to deal with her better too. I might also add, while what you say you are doing sounds good and I think you should stick with it, also think of ways you can add positive reinforcement too. I think it would do her a lot of good if Dad could spend a little more time with her, doing activities, talking more, etc, something that would bring them closer.
I have sought counseling myself--sm
online, but I was not too successful in finding anything that was free. I thought I had found one once, but after I submitted my questions, no one ever replied. Guess you have to be careful with that too, or you may find your personal problems pasted all over the internet. Try doing a search, you may end up being lucky and find something worthwhile. Good luck.
First, don't say anything to her in anger - sm
Let it simmer, give yourself a few days to think about what you want to convey to your MIL AND your son, then call her over for a sit down.
I have had to do this more than once with my MIL. Scary for sure the first time, irritating the second, and third time was okay. Hopefully there won't be a fourth.
Although my situations were not quite the same, the same resolution could work for you.
AFTER you calm down, and I know this is hard to swallow, make a list of the parenting rules that YOU lay down and expect to be followed by everyone, including grandma.
Next, explain your reasoning behind those rules.
Explain how upset you were that those rules were not enforced by someone you trusted with your children and how it makes you hesitant to leave her with that responsibility again. They are YOUR children. Hers to love but yours to teach and raise to be responsible adults.
Explain to her that her role as a grandparent is just as important as a parent but you have the ultimate responsibility of making sure that your children grow up to respect authority and any time she goes against your wishes, that it teaching them that your word does not matter in the end.
Once you clear the air with your MIL. Sit your kids down and have the same chat.
I have always told my kids that if they get into ANY kind of trouble, minor or major, I had better hear it from THEIR mouths FIRST. If I have to hear about it from someone else, the $1*% is gonna hit the fan!
Punishment will doled out accordingly but I gaurantee that the punishment will be much more severe if I hear about anything second hand. PERIOD!
By the way... grandma is still sometimes difficult to get through to on the parenting thing but... I promise you that my kids DO tell me if they are in trouble. Even for things they really aren't in trouble for but aren't sure. They tell me EVERYTHING.
Good luck Sista!
Even if they anger you.....sm
try to keep your cool and don't respond. If they know they're getting a rise out of you, they'll just keep coming back. Ignore them. If they make you mad, you've let them win.
I have so much anger in me towards the
people on this board I am going to unleash it on you guys.
Why the anger?
You didn't mention that you were waiting a year but we were supposed to know that?
You were given advice about what to do and how to go about doing it. What more do you want?
What anger?
I don't see any anger in her post . . . she even put a smiley! No YELLING or anything. It seems she is just looking for advice.
Why are you angry?
ESL Anger
Yes, I relate. When I get really angry I have a margarita! I can't do that too often because basically I am a nondrinker. This ESL anger comes on for me every day and I would be an alcoholic, so I kick back in my chair and imagine what the reports would look like if I typed them "verbatim" - this in turn cracks me up and I laugh. I guess the bottom line is to try to find a way to laugh, because that is all you can do. Sometimes I give them names (ESLs). My favorite one is the one that sounds like that guy from Taxi, remember Andy? Swear I have one who sounds just like that. I have others as bad or worse. I also try to imagine what they look like and dress them up in strange costumes sometimes. If all that fails, run a mile. I did that once and it almost killed me, so now I just go to my ruminations and nicknames. See what happens when we are anal retentive about blanks? I have one that I have a fantasy of driving over to his hospital and luring him onto a boat headed back to his native country! He is screaming for help while I wave joyfully from the pier.
anger
I think I agree. I haven't even started working and I find this great website where I can talk to new people (MTs)and get some feedback but lately everything I have been reading is people lashing out! I am getting a little discouraged with this site.
anger
That was a little harsh wouldn't you say? Unless you've been there then don't judge!
I have some docs that say totals if counseling is
part of the visit as they get paid extra for the visit with certain insurances.
your whole family needs counseling - including you. nm
nm
SEEK MARRIAGE COUNSELING NOW!
You need to be telling this to a marriage counselor. If your husband won't go with you, go without him. It will give you the insight needed to make this tough decision.
Try debt counseling first - if that does not work - sm
it will at least look good to the judge when you declare bankruptcy. I do not regret declaring bankruptcy at all - got a lot of pressure off of me when I needed it. I started all over, and now I am so much wiser so I don't get in that circumstance again. It doesn't take long to rebuild, either.
Go to counseling and get guidance and structure.
It CAN work if he earns back your trust and is truly sorry. Counseling can help guide you through this process. It is truly worth a try. What have you got to lose? Good luck to you! :-)
Working on Master's in counseling and sm
I have had a hiatus of nearly 3 years. I could not decide if this is where I really wanted to go. Recently, I put myself back in therapy with my last therapist after a 5-year hiatus to help me decide. Two sessions and I can see the clear path back to it and yes, this is my "true calling."
I feel pushed to get out of MT because my hands are suffering after 15 years of this. I have 3 autoimmune disorders too. I am having energy problems and focus problems...pain and all that comes with AIs. I have trouble with consistently good line counts and I am working 2 jobs out of sheer boredom with the entire thing. It has nothing to do with no making as much money or ASR or any of it. It is my body telling me to move along. I also believe I would be happier as a counselor.
There is so much anger in all parts of the (sm)
transcription community, that I'm seriously surprised that it hasn't resulted in something really terrible.
Talk about anger
Nan didn't sound angry at all to me. It was a very thoughtful, well written post. You sound like you got up on the wrong side of the bed.
BTW, just because someone has the title of QA doesn't mean they are qualified for the job. Of the last 9 "feedback" reports I have received from QA, I have a challenge on 8 of them!!
look, i understand our anger, but not
where it is directed. The workers don't deserve our wrath! it's the companies that send our work abroad, it's the clients that just want the bottom price, it's the government policy that makes it lucrative for same. Those MTs are just like yourself, trying to make a living. If the tables were turned, would you decline a job saying, "no, i'm not going to take it away from the MTs across the pond"...of course not. At the MT level, we're just all trying to keep our heads above water.
The family can get free counseling through hospice even
if their mother was not a hospice patient. They have programs that the family participates in together and just programs for kids too. If they are able to associate with other kids that have experienced what they have that would probably be a tremendous help. They don't just talk about their feelings, but do activities and play games and just be kids, but if the emotions come then there is a trained person to help them.
Sounds like the dad could use some counseling too and maybe just a break from being a parent 24/7.
Get marital counseling for the sake of your children.
You probably could stay there your entire life and manage but the kids deserve better.
For those who have used credit counseling services, what was your experience?
Some info on credit counseling vs bankruptcy
This is just a heads up for those that were questioning about your choices. I was doing some research on a cancellation of debt form - 1099-C that I am doing for my ex-husband as he never paid me the $9720 he owed me and found on a web page that some of the people that are going through Credit Counseling now are getting 1099-C for some canellation of the debt from credit card companies. If they forgive this debt, then you have to claim it on your income tax as "INCOME" so think about this in your situation. If you are going through a counseling agency ask them if any of your accounts can give you a 1099-C for anything that they forgive you and the only way that they can't is through Bankruptcy. So that is another consideration when wondering which way to go. As for me, I have a signed promissory note signed and it is not a verbal agreement, was not in the divorce and he just never paid. So I get to put on 12 years of interest at 10% plus late fees and he will end up paying the IRS instead of me but I get a tax deduction of $3000 per year until the 21K is used up. So that is fine, he doesn't have to pay me and I will cancel out his debt, but Uncle Sam is not as forgiving as me. But I wanted everyone to be aware of this as it tempting to pay a credit card company only 50% of what you owe them but thing of putting that other 50% on your income tax forms. Patti
From the sounds of it grief counseling may be in order -sm
My mom died 9/04 after 9 weeks in the hospital (as was recovering nicely too) so her death was actually quite unexpected. Considering how close we were I have handled it quite well (we talked on the phone almost every day and I visited at least 6 x a year). I never really cried though, don't know if that is good or not, yes I get teary, but I never broke down or anything. I just withdrew into myself I guess as part of me died that day. I had a rough patch in 02/05 that lasted about a month or so, but for my daughter's sake I had to pull myself out of my funk. I don't think I every really got to fully grieve though as then my dad met his girlfriend < 3 months after my mom died then got engaged 2 months later, then Jen got diagnosed with cancer, had surgery/chemo, my dad married 9 months after my mom died, etc. I can go days w/o thinking about my mom, though I loved her very much. So either I am in denial, cold-hearted, or just deal with things quickly. I don't believe you should dwell on things. Life keeps on going and there is nothing you can do about that but live your life the best you can. But if you are still so upset and cry a lot then I really think you should seek out a grief therapist so you can learn how to cope and move on. This doesn't mean you have to forget you dad by any means. I still "talk" to my mom though I have no grave to visit or anything as she donated her body to science so I have no clue where she actually is now but I like to think her spirit is here with me and that makes me feel good.
Is there a free online counseling service?
My daughter, who is 33, is married with 1 child - every time something goes wrong in her marriage or job, she calls me and I'm supposed to solve all her problems. I have asked her repeatedly to go to a counselor, but usually when she calls, it is in the evening. By the next day or Monday, the problem has gone away temporarily and then she doesn't get the help she needs again.
Does anybody know if online counseling is available that is free, other than this message board ?  I guess I'm thinking of someone with an actual degree?
You have some real anger issues!
I don't think the post called for the venom of your answer. You must be quite an angry person. I will pray for you.
Wow! Lots of anger here..am I on the right board?...
I could swear this is the "other" board. (Not to be mentioned or I will be deleted from here.)
I can only guess which company you work for, but maybe you should be blaming the company instead of the MTs. I am an SE (IC), and I work a pretty steady schedule, as do a lot of SEs. There has been a chronic lack of work at my company recently, but I KNOW my company has lost huge accounts lately, and has shifted those MTs to other accounts (yours and mine maybe?) This spreads the work too thin. My company has also, possibly, overhired lately, which also spreads the work too thin.
I sat from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. yesterday with only 10 reports. Luckily, at 6 p.m., Dr. transcribemeifyoucanski started showing up. Got three of him in a row and was starting to get touchy and depressed when, after 8:30 (my usual quitting time is 8p.m.), here comes Dr. Iamdifficultalsobutdrtranscribemeifyoucanskimakesmelookgood came along, so I kept pushing on until there were no more (8 in all, all the above doctor). Still did not get in my usual line count, but came within shooting distance.
I am not blaming the other MTs for my lack of work, and not even blaming the company entirely. After all, when they lost those accounts, they COULD have just laid off their MTs. I wouldn't want that if it was MY account they had lost! I don't even know if my lack of good dictators lately is the result of cherry picking or voice recognition. My good dictators have, for the most part, vanished.
Such anger! Clearly uneducated and frustrated.
accept responsibility or you're going to be pointing fingers into thin air for years to come.
You truly have some anger problems. Maybe you should look into medication for yourself.
x
Anyone have any GOOD experiences with a credit counseling service/
If so who were they and what did they do?
Without repercussions? You get to cause anger and hurt and probably make some
innocent people sob their eyes out. Boy, are you a monster, or what? No repercussions.
So much anger you harbor! I am wondering why you let it upset you
so much. It certainly is not worth the anger you are demonstrating in your post
gees where is all this mistrust and anger coming from? sm
not EVERY man cheats on his wife and not EVERY man is guilty until proven innocent. Where there is no trust, there is no love and therefore, no relationship, just control and ownership. That's not marriage. Just because you got burned once does not mean that EVERYONE is out to burn you again. no wonder you are divorced! sheesh.
That's called a typo. Seems your anger is just a little misplaced. nm
//
IMO, anger toward India and its people is misplaced. sm
Refocus your anger, if you must experience it, toward the system here, which values cheap labor over accuracy.
Working on my Masters in Counseling Psych. I should be done in Summer 2007.
x
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