You are very thoughtful

Posted By: sm on 2005-11-07
In Reply to: Inappropriate stepfather - MTness

Thank you for the response, I really appreciate you taking the time to write me and I took your advice to heart. I'm glad I posted this, i'm not a very open person and so this is kind of all I have right now. I've already taken the time to write an email to my mom, and through the advice of others, told her basically i'm uncomfortable going around there, but I love her and for her to remember that, and I just need space right now. She wrote back that whenever i'm ready to talk, please write. So the door is open. Its a start.

I'm also going to write another person in my family, who will understand more than anything, and then help me out with the actual bringing everything to light. My stepfather is in therapy for something else, maybe if he's confronted by this he'll get help for this too, even though he's 70, its never too late. The only thing, he more than likely will deny it and say I blew things out of proportion, or my mom will. Thats my worst fear, or to have my mom fall deeper into her depression. But even I have questioned this...and its undeniable to me that something is wrong.

This has taken so long to get to this point, I wish I were like some of you and to just confront and nip it in the bud, but like I said, its my nature to want to keep things as peaceful as possible and hopefully it will get ironed out on its own. Thats awful, I know. And I want to say again, in no way am I comparing myself to sexually abused children, but this is something that has been eating away at me for awhile, its been a hurtful burden because my mom and I are kind of all each other has, even though we do not relate well, we are always there, and I just do not want to lose that, or have her hurt and humiliated more than she has to be.

Thanks again everyone..well most of you, for your responses. They have really helped me.

Complete Discussion Below:

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re: inappropriate stepfather - sm
- Why do you let this man control you? (sm) - Be direct
  - I agree. - txmt
- Give yourself a break (sm) - Read this one ~
  - I definitely think its best to avoid relatives this year. - I'm just not up to it.
    - To alone for the holidays - txmt
      - helping ... - Sara
        Cool, I might do the same (sm) - Read this one ~
      - I was thinking of helping out with the homeless, - maybe serving food or something.
    - Alone on the holidays - Sara
- I have not read the other posts (below) but... - sis
  - well.. - sm
  - Wow! Geez! do not listen to any negative posts... - sis
    - Yeh I have ignored the negative ones - sm
      - That is a coincidence!...... - sis
        I can understand the guilt - sm
- Inappropriate stepfather - MTness
  - You are very thoughtful - sm
    - Healing heart - MTness
- I think you must tell your mother why you're pulling away from her. sm - just my 2 cents
- First, cyber hugs. Next, you've done nothing wrong - Lindy
- Here's how I'd handle the situation... - Abuse survivor...
- My opinion... - Michelle
  - response - sm
    - God bless you! - MTPockets
- so whats wrong with - no name
  - thank you for understanding... - sm
- Inappropriate stepfather - Dano
  - wow - sm
    - Holidays - Patti
    - Okay, you answered my question. nm - Dano
      - inappropriate stepfather - my story
        original poster - sm
        sm - Michelle
        Very sad - Dano
- I agree with Patti, but I also need to add this. - don't avoid her
- Good, but hopefully one day SM - another MT
- Need to say something - Patti
  - re: innappropriate stepfather - sm
    - My short story - Patti

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Thank you for your thoughtful reply
I am going to keep looking elsewhere. The company I work for is very large, and the things I mentioned seem to be a problem in pretty much any region you are talking about from what I have heard from other people who work here in this company. I will keep hoping to come across a company that was like this company USED to be years ago before it got too big for its britches and greed took over. Thank you again for your help.

I think it is thoughtful of you and you should not be too concerned if (sm)
someone thought it "weird" as gifts are given from the heart and yours seems to be overflowing!!! It is so nice to see someone actually more worried about giving this year than receiving!! I work from home as well for a small MTSO and I will follow in your footsteps!!!

Very thoughtful post.
xx

very thoughtful and caring of you to do this.
nm

You're very thoughtful
The girls are lucky to have you. Frankly, if they had boyfriends a year ago and now they are both suddenly into women, I have to agree with your husband that it is exploration and most likely will pass.

I would worry about anyone putting their place of employment on their blog. There are a lot of idiots in the world and a lot of hate-filled sociopaths would might target a person because of where they work - like an abortion clinic, the post office, a certain religious organization, etc.

Gay men and women particularly have to be circumspect - there are people out there who will do them harm just for being gay. I realize your girls are young and full of life and in love, but they need to temper their enthusiasm with some caution. Instead of putting the name of the company, put the field - such as healthcare, marketing, education, etc.

Now THAT's a doc I wouldn't mind seeing! How thoughtful! nm

Yes, thanks for a thoughtful and constructive comment. SM
Much too rare on this board. I'm shocked by how many people still don't use Expanders and use them very extensively. People need to understand and accept that today's much higher standard of production is set by those who do.

You guys sound more thoughtful than most here...
Of course most coding will be point-and-click to computer, but don't you think the EMR will allow a broader range of medical record work to be done remotely?