When he is in jail for DUI and paying child support for a
Posted By: baby, what will he appreciate then? on 2006-03-13
In Reply to: They may not be, but if they all come back - jus me
I agree that you have to let them go, but not before they are at least 18! Teach them right from wrong until then and maybe they will know to use their head by then. I am sorry, but teenage hormones and peer pressure are too much for the average teen to handle!!
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
CHILD SUPPORT??
 Can ANYONE give me some legitimate service who goes after "deadbeat dads"???? I'm at the end of my emotional rope, and my state (Oklahoma) has not helped much in nailing down this butthead ('cuse my French)....I've talked to a few "services" which IF they get anything from him, they will probably take 60-70% of it!!! Has anyone had any luck anywhere?? Why do these guys (and I'm sure there are gals out there too!) get away with not supporting their kids???
Sorry to vent  ...I type for a living (like you) and beating this keyboard sometimes helps me feel better! Thanks for listening (reading ??)....
child support
Believe me, deadbeat moms are very prevalent, moreso than people think. I know from personal experience that these moms rather spend their money on themselves than send even the tiny amount they are required by law to send to their child, all the time professing how much they love their children.
Child Support
We have a newer prosecuter in one of our local county's who started a new program to go after deadbeat parents. 3 times a year, she post the pictures of the worst offenders on the front pages of the newpapers, along with how much they owe...usually has a pretty good rate of call in's to report seeing them. She's also working extremely hard to get the state to NOT renew drivers lisc. on any of those who are over 2,000 in arrears.
My sister finally got the attention of our prosecuter when her ex got close to 30 grand , the folks at CS just did not seem to have a working phone or at least one they answered, so they went after him, showed up in court, the magistrate took all of 10 minutes to look over the files...asked the idiot and the prosecuter if he had a working wage deduction in place (which he did on paper), and then said...Well he has the wage order in place, so case over
Now how the heck do you think he got to the 30 grand mark if the wage order was working........duh Good luck, been there before and glad mine has paid on time.
be sure you get child support
It might not be much, but it will help. I didn't have the option of working fulltime from home when my son was small, so I had to put him in daycare. Found a reasonable sitter who was very reliable. But to supplement my day income, I did work part-time at night. I fed him, helped him with homework, bathed him and then put him down for bed and THEN went to work at home, many nights until 1 a.m.God gives us strength to get through things when we need it, cause I certainly don't think I could do it now! It will not be easy for you with 2 young children, but it can be done. It will require sacrifices, but don't sacrifice time with your children or time for yourself! Do a lot of praying. God Bless and I wish you the best. Keep a support group around you as much as possible.
I didn't WANT any child support
I wanted the divorce. He didn't. Even though I miss them to the point of tears, I asked for 50/50 custody because I thought it was the right thing to do. They spend half time with me, half time with him. He pays no child support. We share all expenses. Not the easy road for a single mom, but, in my opinion, it was the RIGHT thing to do for my kids.
Another perspective on child support
My husband adopted his ex-wife's 3 kids when they were preschool and elementary age. They were married for 10 years. He loved them like his own. When they divorced she forced the kids to choose sides. They chose hers. He rarely saw them after that and didn't force them to visit if they didn't want to. HOWEVER, in spite of never seeing his kids, he paid $1500 per month for child support. He barely had enough left over to pay his apartment rent and monthly expenses. (I don't blame them for their choice; their mother made that choice for them). Incidentally, after the divorce she inherited her parents' fortune, several million dollars. She continued to take the child support knowing how hard it was financially for him; when he got behind during a period of unemployment she took him to court. Even as the kids got older, she continued to threaten to disown her them if they had relationship with him.
Unfairness can work both ways. It's not always the mother who gets the short end of the stick. Dad's sometimes get the shaft also.
One final note. The oldest son tried to maintain communication with his dad, but sneaked around to do it and had hell to pay when his mother found out about it. Eventually, his attempts to contact his dad stopped completely. About two years after that, for reasons that are still unclear) he committed suicide at the age of 20. I wish parents would wake up and see that their bitterness toward their spouse and bitterness over money can poison their children.
He can do it. If he is becoming self-employed, he can cut his child support
too if he does not make a profit for the first few years.
Better to be prepared.
Since when does the child support go directly to the kids? lol!
x
I have a friend whose ex-hus owes $10K+ in back child support, she will never try to get it either -
because she is scared to death of him now. In the past he has tried to kill himself (she saved him), and he has threatened her as well. She thinks if pushed, he would possibly harm her and her daughter so she does nothing but IF he does see the daughter (he makes the rare effort but probably only because his new wife (#3) pushes for it) it is always supervised by her and in a public place. When he works the new wife makes sure child support is paid, but he is clinically depressed and works sporadically, and a lot of under the table stuff. Luckily she has sole custody of her daughter though and lives at home with her parents so she has good family support and financially has a very good job ($65K a year) so she has been able to do a lot for her daughter on her own, and also pay off all the debt her ex rung up (gambler) on her credit cards....they split the debt in the divorce. So there are many reason's why people don't push for child support. Luckily my friend is in a position where she does not need it, yes she would like it because it would help pay for a lot of her daughter's activities as she takes 4 dance classes or the rent she pays to live at home. She never prevents her daughter from calling or trying to see her dad, but time and time again he disappoints her with promises of seeing her more, etc. But the girl is smart and at age 11 now, knows her dad is just a total jerk. Her grandpa is good to her though and at least she has a "father-figure" in her life with him.
Yes - she was in jail for this activity I believe in April -
Administrator knows about her and just last week pulled a post she placed for a C phone. I think we just need to get her name out there so people are aware of what's going on.
I'll never understand this. I'd be UNDER the jail if I tried anything half as SM
underhanded as what they do. They could keep you working for years and say you've "not quite got it" and get all that free work!
Go to NBC10.com - Our local news has "Wednesday's Child" which is a child for adoption.
Every Wednesday they introduce a child who needs a home and a family. There should be some information there as these kids are up for adoption.
www.NBC10.com -
Hope that helps!
what state does she live in? Was she prosecuted and sent to prison or just held in jail?
aa
WRONG! A child that has a fear of discipline = a well behaved child.
I have a beautiful, intelligent 11 year old daughter that hasn't had a spanking in 6 or 7 years and probably only 3 her entire life. She is very well behaved and I get compliments on her behavior constantly. When she does get out of line all I have to say is, "Shall I call your father?" Call it what you want, it works. She respects and obeys me and her father. Why??? For fear of the facing the consequences of misbehaving. Having a total lack of fear or respect for authority is exactly what's wrong with Generation X/kids today. I turned out just fine as did my siblings. Why?? Because my parents took "time out" to bust our a$$es whenever we got out of line.
Is that clear enough for you???
What are you paying your MTs? If you're only paying 7 or 8 cpl
and expecting extremely experienced MTs, forget it. You're not going to get it. If, however, you're willing to pay 9 or more cpl then you will find what you're looking for. There ARE experienced MTs out there who will work their fingers to the bone IF they are compensated well and treated with respect.
ATT- I was paying $320 for 7000 minutes, I am now paying $175 for 5000 minutes in CA. nm
nm
Are you the one with the ill child ???
If so, please realize that the stress of an ill child can be devastating to a marriage. Unfortunately many men deal with this kind of thing by drinking. My best friend in the world went through 4 yrs of fighting leukemia with her little boy who became ill at 12 months. Her husband turned into a total and complete jerk, drinking, and eventually becoming abusive to her. A major medical illness can pull people apart. On the other hand, it sometimes draws people together, but less often. I had our third child extremely premature and she was critically ill for 2 months and then spent another 2 months in the NICU, 4 months total. It was a big stress, but fortunately we weathered it okay. Some people are not so lucky. My first thought is that all this nonsense with your father, and his mother, and wills and money, and all the rest is just something to fixate on. It may very well NOT be the source of the current friction in your home and your marriage. Maybe some counseling if you can get him to go, would be in order. My best to you and your family.
It's no wonder--with a child like you...
your mother probably ripped her own uterus out, and that will be the one and only post to this person. It was just too easy!!
Why would you do that to your child?
/
New car for my child
My 17-year-old did get a new car for his birthday for several reasons: He has never given us a bad time about anything, he has a 4.2 GPA, and did a 2,210 on his SAT (the new SAT),is headed to the college he had his eye on for several years now (asked for and got early acceptance letter) and he has been working part-time since he was 14 years old.
We decided to get him a new car because he will need it for school (it's a few states away and we want him to have something dependable) and because he has really gone the distance and worked very hard to get to this point.
I'm really not bragging here, these are just our reasons. He didn't get a fancy racing car, just something that is nice and dependable and made us comfortable.
Anyone whose child has gotten the flu?
Symptoms of coughing, fever, chills and sweats, no appetite, hurts all over, sleepy. Grandson has been this way for 5 days, 2 visits to the doc, lost 2 lbs in 5 days (which for a little guy is a lot). X-rays show no pneumonia. What can we do? Any ideas gratefully appreciated.
Think about the child
and the fact that it is not wanted. Funny I did not hear one mention about adoption in this post. Sometimes abortion is the best choice (IMO).
Let's do think about the child
Adoption has been mentioned in some of the posts, but you may have missed it. A person who kills somebody else may be thinking of many things, but the actual well-being of the person he or she is killing is certainly not one of them. Everyone is "not wanted" by somebody else at some point in their lives.
The best defense for a child...
As heart tugging as they are, accurate transcription is sooooo important for any person, there is a lot at stake and your best effort at triple checking what you have typed is our little helping hand at helping those seeking help. Flag ANYTHING you doubt, if you get lost in the "he said, she said," someone else will too and calling attention to those items WILL HELP to ensure the reports are easily read and understood. Keep up the good work, the job we do IS IMPORTANT! Any complaint or abuse is paperwork, paperwork, paperwork, just be sure those you do are the cream to help those who in need.
different child, different methods
I am the mother of two 20-year-olds, 1 boy and 1 girl. I can tell you from first hand experience the type of discipline depends on the child. My daughter, she might have had 2 spankings in her whole life. She could be talked to and punished in other ways that worked. My son, on the other hand, about every 6 months he would be due for a spanking and then he was fine again. I have learned from experience, never say that you will never do something or that you will not do something. If one thing does not work, believe you will go to spanking if it means saving your child.
Any child is more adult than you are.
I grow weary of your tiresome chatter.....
does anyone have a child that models? sm
or in commercials, print ads, etc? My 6 YOS is just adorable (of course!) and he has a very bright, outgoing personality. I am told all the time that he should be in "pictures", but don't know how to go about getting started. I don't have money to invest in all the pictures and things. I know this is probably a long shot, but any info would be greatly appreciated. 
Don't think I'd put my child in that business (sm)
It's something they can pursue when they are old enough.
Also, don't spend a lot on pictures, if you have to pay for just reprinting of pictures and they pay for the photographer that is probably reasonable.
Child with GERD
Hi there!
My son started projectile vomiting when he was just 2 months old. It took us 10 months to find a doctor that would diagnosis him with anything. As of now he is almost 7 and he takes 20 mg of Priosec daily, 5 mg of singular, and OTC Pepcid AC when he has a flare-up.  Which is almost weekly. We had him on 40 mg for a long time, but the doc is wanting to try to get that down!
After such a long time of all this gasping for air, the same as you described, we took Josh to an allergiest and he has been diagnosed with asthma also. This is VERY common in children with GERD. I would MOST definiately check that out!!!
Good Luck and let us know how you are doing!
Chel
Keeping any child
I disagree. I would much rather home school a child than send them into what passes for education today. I support the mothers who home school!
say that the best doctor for the child(ren)......is...sm
THEIR MOTHER............
True................
believe it or not - Good Mommy's are the best diagnosticians of their children. 
32 next month one child age 6
I am 31, 32 next month and I am divorced with a precious son who is 6
raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he
I figure I taught him what I know and believe. He has to make the decisions from there, and if what I taught him was strong enough, and believable enough, he will do OK. May make mistakes, but he'll do OK.
Exactly that, it is a fetus and not yet a child.
Not yet a human being. Many people miscarry and although devastating you don't see them acting quite the same as if they lost a 2 year old child, do you? They do not hold a funeral service for a fetus along with burial and a headstone, do they? It is definitely not the same as a child.
You should take this as far as you can. The next time it may be a child on the other end of the
:+
Yes... Each child learns on a different day in a different way.
x
This just has to be a child posting, no??
x
if you have a child togehther.
nm
I believe it should be left up to each child and
what they are comfortable with (of course also what the parents can handle too). My son has to be limited to 1 sport at a time along with his guitar lessons. Anymore than this at a time stresses him out and I know this. He makes mostly A's with his occasional B. (He is 9 years old.)
In saying that though, I have an 8-year-old daughter who prefers to be very, very busy. She is also an A&B student She run CC track, does ballet, on a competition cheer team and gymnastics and is wanting to add a dance class. For an 8yo though she is very good at time management. She starts her homework on the bus and takes it with her to work on between classes some nights. She has been at the same dance studio for years and they know how she is, so she goes and sits behind the front desk to do whatever she feels she needs to do.
I guess what I am saying is this... Your child will let you know if it is too much or not enough. Just give them the chance to make the decision and not have you do it for them.
what an amazing child you have...
Your post brought tears to my eyes. She's really something special...you are so blessed. Please give her a BIG HUG for me...she's an inspiration!
P.S. You must be pretty amazing yourself!!! You deserve a big hug too! 
My child has been tested....sm
By 3 different psychiatrists and psychologists who are children specialists. She does well without medication when she has tasks broken down into small increments and with redirection when she gets off track. I'm not going to medicate her with anything when she is fine when given these helpful guidelines, and her doctors are conservative enough to agree with me and don't hand out pills quickly. If she displayed ADD/ADHD symptoms to the severity that she couldn't function in life without parameters that work it would be a different story.
She is physically active with playing sports (i.e. soccer and basketball depending on the season or doing dance when it's off season for both) and we take her to the playground often. As far as diet goes, we limit her sugar intake as she is more hyper when she is exposed to sugars and even she recognizes that if she has a lot of sugar she gets more hyper.
Is this a child dictating?
I once had a doc say "I asked the patient to pee in a cup". I forget what I changed it to but I cannot stand the word "pee" and refused to use that. It is so vulgar (of course got the approval from my supe first on the change).
Child dictating
Both my Ped doctors say poop and pee. Is this going to be the industry norm? Maybe we won't have rhinorrhea any more, just snotty noses, and a few owies, ouchies, and boo boo's. lol
In the years since then my child has
gone on to a very responsible job, married (divorced though now, you know with these throw-away marriages the kids have now)and self-sufficient, carries their own insurance and know very well the importance of never letting it drop. The kid in college (3rd year) and told while at school over the phone by the head of infectious disease specialist at the hospital where I worked that tested positive for human immunovirus. The child quit school that very day, never returned and was so gung-ho up until that time about their schooling. I knew I had to get Cobra and get it quick and thank God we were able to have that bridge until over that horrific shock and he was able to gain his own employment. The child basically has done well but anyone working in this field possibly knows about the what ifs with this disease- it has been 15 years since then and I just pray for a lot more years for them.
Me too here for my child. I'd be happy for just some
groceries at this point.
For a child, I might consider Debrox,
which is for the ears, but that may be a bit far off your s/l.
The patient must be a child of
Bambi and Rambo!
Not about child abuse, but...
...a pretty funny story. A friend was working with her horse when he tossed his head, smacked her in the face and broke her nose. By the time her hubby got her to the ER she had a huge shiner, a huge nose and was swollen and black & blue on one side of her face, plus had wrenched her shoulder.
Various hospital personnel began asking her how it had happened. About every 10 minutes somebody else came in to put her through the whole horse story again, and this went on for a couple of hours. Then a cop showed up and asked her the same stuff and also spoke with her husband, and then it dawned on her that this whole time they had been trying to shake her story. They thought her HUSBAND had belted her!
And about a week later she got a visit from a social worker just to make sure she was 'okay.' Far from being upset about this (although it was annoying to have people bothering her constantly in the ER) they both thought this was pretty hilarious. And they figured that their tax dollars were not being wasted and their county agencies were doing what they should be doing.
I don't believe in child abuse
or drug abuse, but I don't refuse to type reports involving child abuse victims and drug overdoses.
This seems a little out there to me. Don't get the logic.
Why would they be paying for
the loss of lines when the lawsuit is not settled. Plus, I don't think the small amounts will be sufficient to cover the loss of lines.
Duh - I'm paying $2.79 for gas and
my heating and electric bills have NOT gone up in 2 years and my rent hasn't increased $500 in 4 years, in fact hasn't increased at ALL in 4 years, etc.
You're one of THEM, arent' you? One who wants to complain but when someone says do something about you get all defensive. LOL
Chatter away ... not interested. LOL
|
