What I would do ...
Posted By: G on 2005-08-23
In Reply to: Totally not MT related but lots of smart people here for advice, I hope. - just me
I wouldn't be afraid at all. Your son cannot be made to pay support if paternity is not established. ESTABLISHED, not claimed. You tell him under NO CIRCUMSTANCES is he to acknowledge verbally or through email or writing or sign ANY paperwork that states he assumes any responsibility. Tell her that. Tell her you are not assuming any responsibility unless paternity is established with a DNA paternity test. If she were really after him, she would go to the Ofc of Child Support Enforcement which would get a court order for a paternity DNA test to establish he is the legitimate father. If he isn't, the case is dropped against your son. She has to initiate it though. You can personally pay for a private DNA paternity test if you want but I wouldn't. I would let her do the work.
Secondly, I would NEVER allow my family to become EMOTIONALLY attached in this situation. Do not see the child, the girl, her family, her lawyer -- ANYONE associated with her until and unless (sounds like she is just fishing for money) she went to the OCSE and got a court order and the paternity test was completed and proved your son to be the father -- only THEN would I see any of these people. If you DO, you will undoubtedly become emotionally involved in what may be a child that does not belong to your family. You will have great heartache.
I raised my 2 boys alone. I know how it feels to be a single mom. However, I made it very clear to my boys and to their girlfriends how this situation would be handled. I would absolutely make sure they supported their children...but FIRST would establish that they are indeed theirs!
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