Try debt counseling first - if that does not work - sm
Posted By: nm on 2006-03-03
In Reply to: Bankruptcy or not?? - Indebt
it will at least look good to the judge when you declare bankruptcy. I do not regret declaring bankruptcy at all - got a lot of pressure off of me when I needed it. I started all over, and now I am so much wiser so I don't get in that circumstance again. It doesn't take long to rebuild, either.
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Because it is hard work to collect and once you know a company is a bad debt,
Got to know when to hold them and know when to fold them. She already lost on doing the work. Now she loses doing the collection work.
Considering they have just gotten out of debt,
it is very accountable for them NOT to get back into it by donating responsibly.
how far are you in debt?
 Just curious as to where I stand, thought it would be interesting to find out what the average is in a forum like this.
school 3200 (in forebearance at the moment, original loan 6000 in 1994, three deferrmants)
car 6000 (1999 chevy, original 12,000, backwards on loan, brakes going fast).
credit cards 8400 (just paid 2000 to one, first priority to pay off, debt contributed by ex).
hospital 4000 (major operation, no insurance, total bill 10,000 in 2001, lived with parents almost a full year to pay off half).
Well, thats mine. Please share yours.
debt
Approximately 25K. Would love to have a plan that really works to pay off in 5 years. Anyone know of one?
If you are truly serious about getting out of debt....
I would really suggest getting your hands on a copy of "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey. It has changed the outlook of our family totally and we are on our way out of debt one "baby" step at a time - we've already paid 3 credit cards off and are going to be debt free (including our vehicles and our mortgage) in less than 5 years - credit card debt (to the tune of about $28,000) will be gone in another 17 months. His method is working for us. We tried debt consolidation by credit card and by "equity line of credit" but this only treated the symptoms and not the actual problem. Hope this helps you if you're TRULY wanting out of debt. It really motivates you as you go along, too ! Nice to write those zero balances off of our refrig !
Thanks for the input. It's not debt, as we
don't have anything besides a mortgage and one loan. It's just tracking the finances. I've been thinking about switching to a cash basis for everything instead of using checks or Quicken. It would speed the process up a lot by not having to balance the checkbook or enter everything into the computer. I already spent an hour this morning trying to balance the checkbook because somebody can't save receipts, write down amounts or use duplicates. I give up...
I also need debt help. Any advice.
because of slow work this winter in MTing, but now with a new job, maybe making more to finally get caught up, our mortgage company is threatening us. I only owe 1700 over but that is a lot when you don't have it. This is not FHA loan. Has anybody else been in this position and what did you do.
When the CC debt is paid down
9 months and counting, then I can relax a bit
True, this is just until I pay off some debt. And 1 job
p
Unfortunately, CS seems to be the easiest debt to skip out on
You'll get into more trouble if you bounce a $25 check. I have used one of those private agencies because my ex had moved out of state and once that happens, if the ex doesn't want to pay and moves around in jobs, you can pretty much forget about getting anything.
The private agency works a lot faster, but the contracts are very complicated and you are pretty much signing up for the life of the CS obligation; otherwise there has be nonpayment of CS for a year before you can end the contract. And yes they take a big chunk of money but at the time I thought it was better than getting nothing at all.
But in the end, once payments have been established, the private agency ends up filtering the payment through your local CSEA anyway.
I think your best bet is to use some kind of locator service and if you can get a good address provide that to your local CSEA.
I wish they had an "America's Most Wanted" for deadbeat dads/moms. It's amazing to me that it is seemingly so easy to stop paying, change jobs, and just not be found.
About 50K in debt not counting mortgage. nm
x
I also tried debt settlement and I am now also being sued.
I spoke to a bankrupty lawyer and he said absolutely go for Chapter 7 but I guess I just wanted to here from somebody else who has been there. Thanks.
Desperately need debt consolidation help.
Can anyone recommend a reputable debt consolidation service that they have used to help successfully get them out of debt? I just want to break down and cry, but we have to do something as our credit card debt/medical bills are through the roof and unmanagable due to tough times findings jobs, etc. Thank you for any advice you can give. 
I knew someone that did get in debt overnight due
to illness. The bills were higher than any loan would cover and they wanted their money then. In that particular case, BK was the only answer and this person got it in about 1 week before the new law took effect. The individual will be able to purchase a home I believe within 2 years and has already received offers for credit. That was under the old law.
The new law makes you take a course I believe 6 months before you can file. I believe you have to qualify if you want all your bills discharged and they make it harder to get that done, i.e. you have to make a certain income only and anything over that, you have to pay back over time and it is still BK.
With the new law, I would weigh it carefully. Not everyone has emergent medical illness which might necessitate taking this step and it is automatically assumed they mishandled their affairs. This person raised her children alone and just did not have extra money in the bank for bills totaling over $150K. In that case, she was warranted in filing.
caused me to go severely in debt
that 10 years later I am still recovering from - was writing checks on charge accounts to pay mortgage - this was local and when I would go to her house to pick up and drop off tapes I was seeing boxes from QVC yet she said she wasn't getting paid. Still angry.
Consider counseling
Sometimes an objective opinion from a person you respect can give you some insight that you have disregarded or give you positive suggestions on improving your life. It's worth a try.
counseling is a must.
I have only been married 4-1/2 years myself, so I am not an expert in this field, but I think you need to do everyting in your power to make this marriage work before you call it quits. Whether your husband will agree to go to couseling or not, YOU need to see someone (marraige couseler, pastor, etc.). If you can get your husband to go, that's awesome. He may take the advice differently if it is coming from someone other than you. Men tend to think we nag a little! I have never been to marriage counseling, and I have never been in a situation like yours, but if I were, I think I would give it my all before I throw in the towel!
Why don't you go to counseling with him?
At least once - and ask for help in dealing with his calls...
It really is an illness.
Wow you need some seriously counseling. sm
I am very very sad for you. What a very shallow and pathetic thing to do.
How? I've done pretty well staying out of debt, but
I'd like to get some money set aside for retirement and pay off my home. Any advice you can give?
If you have the time to get down and dirty with some low-life bad debt,
As for me, I live and learn. Ever hear the phrase cut your losses. The more time you spend chasing down a bad debt the more loss you incur.
Please, go get counseling before you give up ---
It can really help you two see things in a different light and get to what is really going on. My situation was nothing like yours (different issues) when we decided to get counseling after 17 years of marriage. I was very doubtful it would help one bit and was ready to just get out. After 4 weeks we made some changes, did some reading, talked things over together and with the counselor, and today my marriage is better than it has ever been. I think it can be done if BOTH parties are willing to give and make some changes. Good luck. :)
Bankruptcy vs counseling
I went through an ugly, expensive divorce - after 22+ years. He had the girlfriend but he wanted me to loose everything and fought through several attorneys. I tried the counseling -- finally went through Christian counseling as their fees were the lowest and they seemed the most honest -- but after everything and to keep my house did file Chapter 13. I feel better doing the Chapter 13 as at least I am paying back something to everyone and did not leave them all hanging. Am paying back 25 cents on the dollar to credit cards. Just be careful should they offer you to cut down the balance if you will "pay in full" as what is not paid will be considered "income" and you have to pay income tax on it. I still do not feel good with doing the Chapter 13 and don't understand how a lot of people can do this several times as I saw in court when I went there. It is not easy to walk away from the debts that you made and truly owe but there are some circumstances that make it necessary. I for one am glad of the new laws as I don't think it is truly unfair to make people make an attempt to pay back what they owe, at least partial. Some of the counseling groups I talked with -- the ones with the best reputations-- were going to charge anywhere from $100 to $150 to handle my money and I could be putting that on a payment to a credit card and so Iooked long and hard. You can also negotiate directly with your credit cards but they put a "stop use" on them and you cannot be late with one payment. But make an attempt and you will feel better about yourself. Just my thoughts and experience. Patti
Credit counseling
Yes, it does go on your credit report. I explained this to my banker that I had not had a problem before in paying my bills, just that I had too many. My banker reviewed my payment history and still approved the loans I requested. Each case is individual, and going through credit counseling may or may not affect your ability to get loans in the future.
She needs to attend counseling regardless!
She will find a way around the restrictions you have imposed if she wants to keep losing weight. You cannot follow her around day and night. It is really easy to hide weight loss if one wants to. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to get a handle on later. It took me YEARS to overcome this myself. Hope it works out.
I agree, she does still need counseling...
She needs to meet with someone who knows how to handle a situation like this. Going to counseling might also help you both learn how to deal with her better too. I might also add, while what you say you are doing sounds good and I think you should stick with it, also think of ways you can add positive reinforcement too. I think it would do her a lot of good if Dad could spend a little more time with her, doing activities, talking more, etc, something that would bring them closer.
I have sought counseling myself--sm
online, but I was not too successful in finding anything that was free. I thought I had found one once, but after I submitted my questions, no one ever replied. Guess you have to be careful with that too, or you may find your personal problems pasted all over the internet. Try doing a search, you may end up being lucky and find something worthwhile. Good luck.
Bank debt/check card? Same thing?
Is the prepaid visa card the same as a bank debt or check card?
I have some docs that say totals if counseling is
part of the visit as they get paid extra for the visit with certain insurances.
your whole family needs counseling - including you. nm
nm
SEEK MARRIAGE COUNSELING NOW!
You need to be telling this to a marriage counselor. If your husband won't go with you, go without him. It will give you the insight needed to make this tough decision.
You really need some counseling and anger management
tsk, tsk, tsk
Go to counseling and get guidance and structure.
It CAN work if he earns back your trust and is truly sorry. Counseling can help guide you through this process. It is truly worth a try. What have you got to lose? Good luck to you! :-)
Working on Master's in counseling and sm
I have had a hiatus of nearly 3 years. I could not decide if this is where I really wanted to go. Recently, I put myself back in therapy with my last therapist after a 5-year hiatus to help me decide. Two sessions and I can see the clear path back to it and yes, this is my "true calling."
I feel pushed to get out of MT because my hands are suffering after 15 years of this. I have 3 autoimmune disorders too. I am having energy problems and focus problems...pain and all that comes with AIs. I have trouble with consistently good line counts and I am working 2 jobs out of sheer boredom with the entire thing. It has nothing to do with no making as much money or ASR or any of it. It is my body telling me to move along. I also believe I would be happier as a counselor.
I did. I never have regretted it. We filed 7, I beileve. All unsecured debt was wiped out. Kept my
xx
The family can get free counseling through hospice even
if their mother was not a hospice patient. They have programs that the family participates in together and just programs for kids too. If they are able to associate with other kids that have experienced what they have that would probably be a tremendous help. They don't just talk about their feelings, but do activities and play games and just be kids, but if the emotions come then there is a trained person to help them.
Sounds like the dad could use some counseling too and maybe just a break from being a parent 24/7.
Get marital counseling for the sake of your children.
You probably could stay there your entire life and manage but the kids deserve better.
For those who have used credit counseling services, what was your experience?
Some info on credit counseling vs bankruptcy
This is just a heads up for those that were questioning about your choices. I was doing some research on a cancellation of debt form - 1099-C that I am doing for my ex-husband as he never paid me the $9720 he owed me and found on a web page that some of the people that are going through Credit Counseling now are getting 1099-C for some canellation of the debt from credit card companies. If they forgive this debt, then you have to claim it on your income tax as "INCOME" so think about this in your situation. If you are going through a counseling agency ask them if any of your accounts can give you a 1099-C for anything that they forgive you and the only way that they can't is through Bankruptcy. So that is another consideration when wondering which way to go. As for me, I have a signed promissory note signed and it is not a verbal agreement, was not in the divorce and he just never paid. So I get to put on 12 years of interest at 10% plus late fees and he will end up paying the IRS instead of me but I get a tax deduction of $3000 per year until the 21K is used up. So that is fine, he doesn't have to pay me and I will cancel out his debt, but Uncle Sam is not as forgiving as me. But I wanted everyone to be aware of this as it tempting to pay a credit card company only 50% of what you owe them but thing of putting that other 50% on your income tax forms. Patti
From the sounds of it grief counseling may be in order -sm
My mom died 9/04 after 9 weeks in the hospital (as was recovering nicely too) so her death was actually quite unexpected. Considering how close we were I have handled it quite well (we talked on the phone almost every day and I visited at least 6 x a year). I never really cried though, don't know if that is good or not, yes I get teary, but I never broke down or anything. I just withdrew into myself I guess as part of me died that day. I had a rough patch in 02/05 that lasted about a month or so, but for my daughter's sake I had to pull myself out of my funk. I don't think I every really got to fully grieve though as then my dad met his girlfriend < 3 months after my mom died then got engaged 2 months later, then Jen got diagnosed with cancer, had surgery/chemo, my dad married 9 months after my mom died, etc. I can go days w/o thinking about my mom, though I loved her very much. So either I am in denial, cold-hearted, or just deal with things quickly. I don't believe you should dwell on things. Life keeps on going and there is nothing you can do about that but live your life the best you can. But if you are still so upset and cry a lot then I really think you should seek out a grief therapist so you can learn how to cope and move on. This doesn't mean you have to forget you dad by any means. I still "talk" to my mom though I have no grave to visit or anything as she donated her body to science so I have no clue where she actually is now but I like to think her spirit is here with me and that makes me feel good.
Is there a free online counseling service?
My daughter, who is 33, is married with 1 child - every time something goes wrong in her marriage or job, she calls me and I'm supposed to solve all her problems. I have asked her repeatedly to go to a counselor, but usually when she calls, it is in the evening. By the next day or Monday, the problem has gone away temporarily and then she doesn't get the help she needs again.
Does anybody know if online counseling is available that is free, other than this message board ?  I guess I'm thinking of someone with an actual degree?
Anyone have any GOOD experiences with a credit counseling service/
If so who were they and what did they do?
Working on my Masters in Counseling Psych. I should be done in Summer 2007.
x
Has anyone used a credit counseling service to consolidate credit cards?
What was your experience? Was it worth it? Which ones are credible?
I get my work from an FTP site that they load the work to, however I don't have pool work so to
speak, but I tell them how many minutes a day I want. The work is generally put in my box by 5 pm every day, then I have until 10 am the following day for some priority work, or 3:30 pm for the rest, so TAT is not too bad. I would like to work less at night though, but I working on that. My downside is I do not get the same dictators day to day, there are a few I do on a semi-regular basis though, some generate great lines but take longer to do that other doc's and are not "money-makers", I also do not get paid for spaces so that hurts a bit too. This is WP5.1 too.....so very antiquated but that is what the hospital uses, so not much choice there. But I understand what you mean about the C-phone. I was just doing another job with C-phone recently...they incidentally did not tell me how to get off of the system, which was very simple. I'd finish a job, then hit stop and hangup if I wanted to get off or quit working. That is what you need to do if you want to sleep, eat, etc. Don't feel guilty, do what you signed up for, believe me they watch the pools and will get others to do the work you don't finish. If they get on your case remind them that you are only PT and only want 500 lines a day, etc. It's not worth killing yourself over. Good Luck. 
You go by your schedule and have no work. Everytime I get on to work, there is always work.
x
Then you would have no life at all except work, work, work if you did that. I wouldn't do it. nm
.
Same thing with nationals. You work all the time to keep the account caught up when others dont work
and then when they decide to put a whole lot of extra people on your accounts and run you out they could care less about how much you worked.
Have a hospital I work for and they consistently change work types and do line counts. (sm)
Management just doesn't understand in order to crank out the work you need to be proficient by typing the same accounts. Go figure, they just don't get it ??
Usually work "live" on a Cphone, while connected. There are ways to record & work off line, bu
s
steady work...gearing up to start new account....but there was no work on Tues as it was a holiday
Be patient with your eyes open....
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