The family can get free counseling through hospice even
Posted By: me on 2005-11-15
In Reply to: Thank you for taking the time to post back....sm - MT in GA
if their mother was not a hospice patient. They have programs that the family participates in together and just programs for kids too. If they are able to associate with other kids that have experienced what they have that would probably be a tremendous help. They don't just talk about their feelings, but do activities and play games and just be kids, but if the emotions come then there is a trained person to help them.
Sounds like the dad could use some counseling too and maybe just a break from being a parent 24/7.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
your whole family needs counseling - including you. nm
nm
Is there a free online counseling service?
My daughter, who is 33, is married with 1 child - every time something goes wrong in her marriage or job, she calls me and I'm supposed to solve all her problems. I have asked her repeatedly to go to a counselor, but usually when she calls, it is in the evening. By the next day or Monday, the problem has gone away temporarily and then she doesn't get the help she needs again.
Does anybody know if online counseling is available that is free, other than this message board ?  I guess I'm thinking of someone with an actual degree?
Hospice?
Anybody out there volunteer for hospice? I recently started my training for it and I am so excited. I have 18 hours of training to do before I actually am on my own. I can't wait.
Anybody else volunteer for hospice?
When my mother had cancer, hospice provided me
The hospital may also be a source of information on where you can get forms. The POA is an actual legal document. You could try to 'google' for free forms. You may want to think about a general POA so you can handle her finances, also, in case she becomes totally incapacitated. It makes a big difference in handling her affairs - without those papers, it makes it a lot harder to handle her affairs for her, including paying her bills and making decisions. Don't wait - get it done now just in case things get worse. Good luck and best wishes.
Was a nurse for Hospice. Very special work! It will change you.nm
c
Was with Hospice. He might live a few days w/o making urine depending on what
s
Consider counseling
Sometimes an objective opinion from a person you respect can give you some insight that you have disregarded or give you positive suggestions on improving your life. It's worth a try.
counseling is a must.
I have only been married 4-1/2 years myself, so I am not an expert in this field, but I think you need to do everyting in your power to make this marriage work before you call it quits. Whether your husband will agree to go to couseling or not, YOU need to see someone (marraige couseler, pastor, etc.). If you can get your husband to go, that's awesome. He may take the advice differently if it is coming from someone other than you. Men tend to think we nag a little! I have never been to marriage counseling, and I have never been in a situation like yours, but if I were, I think I would give it my all before I throw in the towel!
Why don't you go to counseling with him?
At least once - and ask for help in dealing with his calls...
It really is an illness.
Wow you need some seriously counseling. sm
I am very very sad for you. What a very shallow and pathetic thing to do.
How about a home health aide or an aide for Hospice? Get paid weekly, too. nm
s
Please, go get counseling before you give up ---
It can really help you two see things in a different light and get to what is really going on. My situation was nothing like yours (different issues) when we decided to get counseling after 17 years of marriage. I was very doubtful it would help one bit and was ready to just get out. After 4 weeks we made some changes, did some reading, talked things over together and with the counselor, and today my marriage is better than it has ever been. I think it can be done if BOTH parties are willing to give and make some changes. Good luck. :)
Bankruptcy vs counseling
I went through an ugly, expensive divorce - after 22+ years. He had the girlfriend but he wanted me to loose everything and fought through several attorneys. I tried the counseling -- finally went through Christian counseling as their fees were the lowest and they seemed the most honest -- but after everything and to keep my house did file Chapter 13. I feel better doing the Chapter 13 as at least I am paying back something to everyone and did not leave them all hanging. Am paying back 25 cents on the dollar to credit cards. Just be careful should they offer you to cut down the balance if you will "pay in full" as what is not paid will be considered "income" and you have to pay income tax on it. I still do not feel good with doing the Chapter 13 and don't understand how a lot of people can do this several times as I saw in court when I went there. It is not easy to walk away from the debts that you made and truly owe but there are some circumstances that make it necessary. I for one am glad of the new laws as I don't think it is truly unfair to make people make an attempt to pay back what they owe, at least partial. Some of the counseling groups I talked with -- the ones with the best reputations-- were going to charge anywhere from $100 to $150 to handle my money and I could be putting that on a payment to a credit card and so Iooked long and hard. You can also negotiate directly with your credit cards but they put a "stop use" on them and you cannot be late with one payment. But make an attempt and you will feel better about yourself. Just my thoughts and experience. Patti
Credit counseling
Yes, it does go on your credit report. I explained this to my banker that I had not had a problem before in paying my bills, just that I had too many. My banker reviewed my payment history and still approved the loans I requested. Each case is individual, and going through credit counseling may or may not affect your ability to get loans in the future.
She needs to attend counseling regardless!
She will find a way around the restrictions you have imposed if she wants to keep losing weight. You cannot follow her around day and night. It is really easy to hide weight loss if one wants to. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to get a handle on later. It took me YEARS to overcome this myself. Hope it works out.
I agree, she does still need counseling...
She needs to meet with someone who knows how to handle a situation like this. Going to counseling might also help you both learn how to deal with her better too. I might also add, while what you say you are doing sounds good and I think you should stick with it, also think of ways you can add positive reinforcement too. I think it would do her a lot of good if Dad could spend a little more time with her, doing activities, talking more, etc, something that would bring them closer.
I have sought counseling myself--sm
online, but I was not too successful in finding anything that was free. I thought I had found one once, but after I submitted my questions, no one ever replied. Guess you have to be careful with that too, or you may find your personal problems pasted all over the internet. Try doing a search, you may end up being lucky and find something worthwhile. Good luck.
I have some docs that say totals if counseling is
part of the visit as they get paid extra for the visit with certain insurances.
SEEK MARRIAGE COUNSELING NOW!
You need to be telling this to a marriage counselor. If your husband won't go with you, go without him. It will give you the insight needed to make this tough decision.
Try debt counseling first - if that does not work - sm
it will at least look good to the judge when you declare bankruptcy. I do not regret declaring bankruptcy at all - got a lot of pressure off of me when I needed it. I started all over, and now I am so much wiser so I don't get in that circumstance again. It doesn't take long to rebuild, either.
You really need some counseling and anger management
tsk, tsk, tsk
Go to counseling and get guidance and structure.
It CAN work if he earns back your trust and is truly sorry. Counseling can help guide you through this process. It is truly worth a try. What have you got to lose? Good luck to you! :-)
Working on Master's in counseling and sm
I have had a hiatus of nearly 3 years. I could not decide if this is where I really wanted to go. Recently, I put myself back in therapy with my last therapist after a 5-year hiatus to help me decide. Two sessions and I can see the clear path back to it and yes, this is my "true calling."
I feel pushed to get out of MT because my hands are suffering after 15 years of this. I have 3 autoimmune disorders too. I am having energy problems and focus problems...pain and all that comes with AIs. I have trouble with consistently good line counts and I am working 2 jobs out of sheer boredom with the entire thing. It has nothing to do with no making as much money or ASR or any of it. It is my body telling me to move along. I also believe I would be happier as a counselor.
Get marital counseling for the sake of your children.
You probably could stay there your entire life and manage but the kids deserve better.
For those who have used credit counseling services, what was your experience?
Some info on credit counseling vs bankruptcy
This is just a heads up for those that were questioning about your choices. I was doing some research on a cancellation of debt form - 1099-C that I am doing for my ex-husband as he never paid me the $9720 he owed me and found on a web page that some of the people that are going through Credit Counseling now are getting 1099-C for some canellation of the debt from credit card companies. If they forgive this debt, then you have to claim it on your income tax as "INCOME" so think about this in your situation. If you are going through a counseling agency ask them if any of your accounts can give you a 1099-C for anything that they forgive you and the only way that they can't is through Bankruptcy. So that is another consideration when wondering which way to go. As for me, I have a signed promissory note signed and it is not a verbal agreement, was not in the divorce and he just never paid. So I get to put on 12 years of interest at 10% plus late fees and he will end up paying the IRS instead of me but I get a tax deduction of $3000 per year until the 21K is used up. So that is fine, he doesn't have to pay me and I will cancel out his debt, but Uncle Sam is not as forgiving as me. But I wanted everyone to be aware of this as it tempting to pay a credit card company only 50% of what you owe them but thing of putting that other 50% on your income tax forms. Patti
From the sounds of it grief counseling may be in order -sm
My mom died 9/04 after 9 weeks in the hospital (as was recovering nicely too) so her death was actually quite unexpected. Considering how close we were I have handled it quite well (we talked on the phone almost every day and I visited at least 6 x a year). I never really cried though, don't know if that is good or not, yes I get teary, but I never broke down or anything. I just withdrew into myself I guess as part of me died that day. I had a rough patch in 02/05 that lasted about a month or so, but for my daughter's sake I had to pull myself out of my funk. I don't think I every really got to fully grieve though as then my dad met his girlfriend < 3 months after my mom died then got engaged 2 months later, then Jen got diagnosed with cancer, had surgery/chemo, my dad married 9 months after my mom died, etc. I can go days w/o thinking about my mom, though I loved her very much. So either I am in denial, cold-hearted, or just deal with things quickly. I don't believe you should dwell on things. Life keeps on going and there is nothing you can do about that but live your life the best you can. But if you are still so upset and cry a lot then I really think you should seek out a grief therapist so you can learn how to cope and move on. This doesn't mean you have to forget you dad by any means. I still "talk" to my mom though I have no grave to visit or anything as she donated her body to science so I have no clue where she actually is now but I like to think her spirit is here with me and that makes me feel good.
Abacus is not free. It is $20 but worth it. You can download a trial version free which does not h
I have used this for years and have compared to Sylvan, Word, and MP Count, etc. When you have it set to count every character, bold, shift, tab, etc. It is great and always higher than the others. Now if you are wanting gross lines like in Word then no it won't be as high because Word counts blanks lines and Abacus counts a line only if there is a character on it. There is also two places to check for it to count the Headers/Footers. If you have the FREE version then it must be the trial or a very old version so you don't have all the features and functions.
Free? As in, free trial? Otherwise, I don't think you'll find a spellcheck software that's
y
Check out the free demo of MTStars FlashType. It's free for 7 days.
Then, if you like it, you can purchase it for $59.95. See link below.
Anyone have any GOOD experiences with a credit counseling service/
If so who were they and what did they do?
Working on my Masters in Counseling Psych. I should be done in Summer 2007.
x
family is family wheter 3 or 8 sm
i live in MA and $1200-$1400 a month is what good health insurance costs, ie $20-$40 copays. it was just passed into law that if you live in MA you have to have medical insurance so without being self-employed, you can go right to BCBS etc and get a plan directly from the major health insurace companies, but for a family plan and a decent income bracket, forget it. the prices are outragous. right now my husband pays $120 a week for family plan and this is after his employer pays 30% of the total cost. we have $20 copays, but we have a $2000 individual deductable per year with a $4000 family deductible cap. so when my daughther needed her tonsils out, $2000 and when my son broke his arm, $2000. someone on this board has to be able to tell you what they pay for insurance through their company as an employee. good luck.
yes it is free....mine was free....why the exclamation?
nm
Has anyone used a credit counseling service to consolidate credit cards?
What was your experience? Was it worth it? Which ones are credible?
There are free ones out there. I have been using a free one for 5 years. sm
Just have to research FTP server software.
free? We are not *free* - what planet R U on?
Free? Liberal? You know nothing about me......I'm a 4th generation American so don't get up in my face......
We have a bad bad reputation today....and we do NOT HAVE 60 ALLIES/COUNTRIES BACKING US UP IN IRAQ....you better open up your eyes to the REAL stats. Perhaps in 2003 we had 60 allies/countries backing us up....NAME 60 today. I can name maybe 10 countries.......
You are terribly off-base.........even the soldiers have spoken up stating *unfortunately, this has become OUR vietnam* -
here's where you might think of beginning...iraqi veterans against the war......not a liberal website by any stretch of the imagination..
http://www.ivaw.org/
your family
What kind of shelters were you in that they did not help you? If your husband is mentally ill, cannot hold down a job and provide for his family, go to Social Security office and start filling out for SSI or Disability. It is a long drawn out process, but worth it, if you want to keep your family intact and safe.
Well, every family is different, but for us (sm)
When we initially signed with them three years ago, we were a family of four with a husband with hypertension and hypercholesterolemia. The first year our rate was $340/mo with a $750 deductible. Every year since then we are given the option of either jacking our payment or increasing our deductible. We are now a family of five, and we are paying $750 a month with a $1750 deductible (per person). We have no maternity coverage, baby #3 was paid for out of pocket. Prescriptions are $10/30 after a $500 deductible (because of my husband's medications, otherwise I don't think they usually require a deductible for prescriptions). Each of us is allowed four office visits per year at $25/each. Well baby care is sporadic, depending on the mood of the adjuster that day, I think. We have gotten stuck paying for a $700 ER bill (applied to our deductible, apparently) and several well baby visits (at about $200 a pop). Overall, I was thrilled when we were paying $340 a month, but now I'm ready to start looking elsewhere. I would go for it, you're going to get jacked every year wherever you are. I think what put us over the edge was baby #3 (unplanned), but I wouldn't trade her for anything of course!
Family
I have often said that if I met some of my family on the street and were not related often wonder if I would "like them" let alone "love them" but because they are family we are obligated to instantly "love them." Sorry to me blood is not thicker than water and my friends and part of my family are very dear to me and I would do anything for them as it has been a two way street with friendship and love. Lover your parents though and do anything you can for them.
Patti
not me, my family gets along
doesn't fight Hmmmmm- I'm not invited anywhere this year- Do you suppose its me??? HA
The other family
Kym and I remain friends. She hates to watch the reruns as much as I do. We both agree that they did a lot of manipulation as far as the show goes and the editing process. She and Hallmark divorced following the show and I have not had any contact with him at all.
Family of 5
1. Me, although, my husband always pulls out the towels and washclothes and folds them and my 5-year-old loves to fold washclothes and can fold them better than me.
2. Me.
3. My husband does them most of the time because I always have to sit down after supper and work some more.
4. My husband does most of the mowing.
Since you know the family,
perhaps you can tell us what happened to him?
About my family
grown and out of the home but I worked at home when they were younger and made it very clear no work, no money, simple as that. I did not get into this job to work from home, in fact worked years away from home doing same because it was not a "home job." If you want to work from home, don't complain about what you are unable to do in your "profession" when you don't come across as being professional doing all the household duties. I started in this because I knew I loved the medical field, fast typist and knew possibility of making more money, nothing to do with just a job to stay home so I could watch after kids, cook or clean. Married but hubby is gourmet chef so he cooks and I have housekeeper. I work because I happen to love the type work I do.
Your family
Well, I would tell you to get a new family, but that's too flip because I know you are hurting.
Why do you care so much about such a thoughtless remark by your father? Obviously, he has no real understanding of your situation. You are working several jobs, wife, mother, caregiver, etc., plus your MT work.
Just try to let go of he hurt and anger from your parents' lack of understanding (or deliberate undermining of you, whichever it is), and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Give yourself a huge pat on the back because you more than deserve it!! Stay positive about yourself and your situation and things will work out to your advantage. Let go of the need for approval from your parents, because you probably won't get it and you don't need it anyway, really.
You should like a great person to me!
what does your family think?
are you going to want to work at home while attending school, and if so would you want to keep the account you have now, and how do your kids feel about it?
Not in Canda but family is. sm
Happy Canada Day to you!
My Grandmother moved to Maine from Cape Breton, Nova Scotia to go college here, where she met and married my grandfather. I have a huge family there that we visit every few years. Beautiful place, beautiful people.
friends and family to appreciate me at my job?
I doubt you're getting raises and I doubt you use your money for "others" and you as well are a poor judge of character. This initial post was about supervisors interacting more with their MTs so we can put a face with the name and feel like we have someone in our corner, being that we are so remote from coworkers. Obviously, we disagree, lets agree to do that much. You just sit and type away and collect your paycheck.
I like this one. We have some family pictures, but
those are for everyone, not just for her birthday. I do have some restaurant gift certificates, so I think I'll take her out to lunch. Thank you for all of the suggestions.
I have family in San Antonio, TX and
they have evacuees housed in shopping malls and old A&P grocery stores.
My family's clothing donations were turned down. Evacuees told them they only want money and ready for this....HAIR PRODUCTS!!!
Go figure!
|
