Pregnant at 16
Posted By: Been there on 2006-03-14
In Reply to: My neice has found out that she's pregnant. - me
I became pregnant when I was 16. I was told by my family "you will have an abortion" when the initial shock hit. Then, I was told "you will put the baby up for adoption." I went with my ex-boyfriend (who is now my husband going on 10 years and our child is 12) to talk to a co-worker of his who had an abortion - she said DON"T DO IT! I was made to look through family profiles to consider for adoption. Then when I finally stood up for myself and said wait a minute - THIS IS MY CHOICE, I was taken to talk to my minister to talk me out of keeping the baby. His words were "God has given you this gift and has a purpose for this baby, do what is in your heart." Needless to say, I didn't give it a second thought and decided to raise my child. I did so with the support of my family realizing they had been wrong to judge me and try to make my decisions for me, also with the support of the birth father (now my husband and we have a 2nd child too). I beat the odds, I finished high-school, went to 2 year community college and got a very good job. When our son was 2, I was 18 and husband was 20 - we decided that we wanted to be together, we had grown up and 6 months later got married.
My advice to anyone who finds theirselves in this situation is "do what is in your heart" and do not listen to other peoples opinions, judgements, etc. The decision she makes for her and her child is between her and her God if she chooses to ask him to help her with her decision. If she choses abortion, that is her right (I am a Pro-Choice Christian). I do feel abortion is wrong, but no more a sin than any other as God sees sin as sin, not at different levels. I would hope your niece would choose the option that is right for her, hopefully adoption or raising it herself if she wants and thinks she can do it. What she needs now is support from her family, not criticism or judgement - whether you agree with her decisions or not.
Just my 2 cents, having been there and having assessed all angles myself and now knowing what its like to be in those shoes
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Are you pregnant? That happened to me when I was pregnant. I think it
x
yes I'm trying to get pregnant
My husband and I are trying I have been known to be late the soreness is what is making me think I am.. I hate waiting and I have no patience for this
LOL not pregnant!!!!! NM
z
I was pregnant at 17...
And though my circumstances were different, I do know how scared she feels, how self absorbed you become thinking of only how this will affect YOU. I absolutely believe abortion is wrong, but the other posts are right in the fact that you will not be able to make that decision for her and all you can do is love her and stand by her regardless of the decision she makes.
My mother-in-law had an abortion when she was young and it literally haunts her to this day. It is hard when you are young to see the forrest for the trees.
There is nothing wrong with stating your opinion in LOVE, but it definitely needs to be followed with...I will love and be there for you no matter what decision you make, if you still want a relationship with your neice.
Pregnant
I had a son at 16 and raised him on my own. He is now going to be 11 and I am married to a great guy and we just had a daughter together. There are other forms of birth control. The nuva ring is awesome you only take it out for 1 week.
Pregnant or not pregnant??
Okay, I have a total non-work related problem that I need some feed back on.
I am 1 day late on my period, (my periods are usually right on time), and I took a home pregnancy test and there was a very faint line. So, I went to the store to get one of the digital ones, because they tell you "PREGNANT" or "NOT PREGNANT". Well, it says "not pregnant", but then I ejected the stick out and there is a pretty bright, while still a little faint, blue line. The ClearBlue Easy website says if there is any line at all, faint or not, then you are pregnant.
I am just confused. We have been trying for months now and I just want to know. I guess I will find out sooner or later, but if anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it!!
THANKS!!
Pregnant or not pregnant?
Ummmm....it's called gynecologist, go see one and he/she will tell you for sure. Congratulations if you are!!!!!!!!
Any pregnant MTs?
I have been an MT for one year and I am currently 3 months pregnant. Lately I have not been able to focus on my work I have been struggling to stay awake. I dread coming downstairs in the morning to do my work because I know it is going to be a struggle to stay awake and stay focused. Does anyone have any suggestions. I currently work 6 hours a day and do a line count of 2100 lines per day. I just don't know what I can do to stay focused and to get my work done. I take a lot of breaks but sometimes I do not even return from my break. I am an independent contractor. Oh, also I have a 20-month old sone at home with me as well while I am working. And I have a lot of mood swings. Is there any other MTs going through this same thing? Any advice from anyone. THanks. I appreciate the help.  
When I was pregnant
and my hubby would use ain't or another word that was used incorrectly, I would lovingly tell him that I was not going to allow him to talk to our children.
I was 18 when I got pregnant, unmarried, of course (sm)
and even though it sounds stupid to me now why I didn't use birth control, it's just because I didn't think it would happen to me. And just FYI, a baby doesn't have to suffer. My unplanned baby is almost 40 and is a great "kid". One of my greater accomplishments. No need to insult.
pregnant niece
I had a similar situation and my niece was 19 at the time. She was not sleeping around, was with 1 guy but not using OCP or anything else because it was her sexual relationship and she thought she "couldn't get pregnant." She had sex ed and was told better, but apparently she listened to her stupid friends instead of her teachers.
I'm a little more hardened than you - I would have told her that I was taking her advice and minding my own business.
I'm not opposed to abortion. I think it is much more of a sin to bring a child into the world when you cannot support s/he and do not love s/he unconditionally.
Your niece made a mistake, a big one, but she should not have to forfeit her chance at a life because of a sexual encounter. If she can't remember to take the pill, she needs to get a patch. But she should be using a barrier method of some kind to prevent STDs.
The fact that she is not responsible enough to use birth control should be a clue that she is not responsible enough to raise a child.
My money is on you - I bet you are pregnant..
Same thing for me and my husband - faint lines and we too took the test to the pharmacist and told her she did not have to touch the test but asked her opinion if she thought we were pregnant...she said if any line is on there you have to be because of the pregnancy hormone is what makes the line...she was right...But there is a slight chance of a malfunction, but doutbful..They test those tests! I hope you are and good luck!!! Please let us know.
I hope you are pregnant since you want it so
much. My advice would be to wait a bit longer and try another test or make an appointment with your Dr. to get tested. I took a ClearBlue Easy test awhile back, and like you, I had a very faint blue line. I went on the website and found out that even a faint line means you are prengnant, but alas, I was not. Good luck to you!!
married since 03 and pregnant now sm
and totally on the way out the door. He is 6 years younger than me, lazy, doesn't know how to keep a job, is immature. Can't handle it. Love him but just can't do it on my own.
The patient has never been pregnant
x
I am not currently pregnant, but my son is 13 months old....sm
My production dropped the first part of my pregnancy because I was so sick/tired, picked back up the middle only to fall again the last from being tired. I took two 30 minute naps during the day (my lunch and then my 2 breaks combined). I fixed what I wanted to eat and ate while I was working. Your production will fall, but the main priority is the baby. I also had 2 jobs and both employers were understanding. I knew from a money standpoint I would have to return back to work soon after the birth. When I became pregnant I had every intention of saving enough money I could be off for 6 or 12 weeks, but then my production dropped and so did my money. I had him on a Tuesday, got out of the hospital on Friday and was back at work Saturday. It is hard to deal with a drop in production when your pregnant, but remember it will be over shortly. Keep your baby first in your thoughts and it will make it easier to get through. Good luck to you.
Currently 6.5 months pregnant....sm
I am really, really tired at this point. I have a 2-1/2 year-old that goes to the babysitter for 4-5 hours a day Monday-Thursday and home with me on Friday. I get started at 6 a.m. when I am most functional and my production is the highest and work until 9 a.m. After dropping my daughter off at the babysitter I get back to work for about 4-5 hours. I find myself having to take naps during the day whereas I did not with my daughter.
I try to work extra when I can to help make up for my decrease in production. Also, we both are in the bed at night by 8:30 p.m. just relaxing and watching television; therefore, I feel much more refreshed in the morning.
I thought I went back early with my daughter at 3 weeks, but you have me beat. I do plan on going back at 5 weeks after having this baby, but we will see. Not sure how I will manage with a newborn. By the way, I also work 2 jobs, but I find myself doing very little production on my second job if I work at all on most days, just cannot get it done.
Quit when I got pregnant also....sm
Found out on a Monday I was pregnant and quit cold turkey the next day. Over time the smell of smoke really made me sick while I was pregnant. For a while I still had cravings, but nothing now. It has been 3 years and I have no desire to return to smoking whatsoever. It is really funny now because when I msell the smoke or it makes me all choked up, I ask myself is this what I used to do to people when I smoked?
Pregnant lol.... but good :-) NM
x
The baby you were pregnant with, are you
x
Me, too, but getting pregnant is no longer an option.
I wish I'd never started up again after 8 years without smoking.
I'm the pregnant one who asked for help quitting
and it's been real easy because I can't stop puking long enough to have a cigarette. LOL. Even the smell of cigarette smoke makes me extremely sick.
P.S. They were married for 12 years and she was about 38 when she got pregnant -
x
My vet is teeny tiny. When she got pregnant with her last
baby she gained 60 pounds. She probably weighs 98 soaking wet. Anyway, her doctors put her on either Relacore or Cortislim and she lost the weight. I have an overweight dog due to a disease and she said they are testing these drugs in dogs to see if it will help so I think there is some basis for it. I took a drug similar that is supposed to block cortisol (can't remember the name, but it was cheaper) and it did help with my belly fat and soon I had to get new jeans because the ones I had I had a handful of material on each side of stomach that hung down in my crotch area and it was very uncomfortable. I even tripped once because I tried to step up over a low stone wall and there was so much extra material it constricted my leg movement and I wasn't able to lift my leg high enough.
I am an emotional eater but I don't have problems with an overactive appetite, meaning I'm not ravenous all the time, never have been.
My neice has found out that she's pregnant.
She's 19 yrs old and single. In my opinion she's not been very smart in the way she's dating, in fact I've told her to knock it off because she's acting like a XXXX. She told me I didn't know what I was talking about and to mind my own business. Now she comes crying that she's pregnant and she's going to get an abortion. She doesn't want a baby, doesn't want a baby without it having a daddy, can't stand the morning sickness, is still in college, blah, blah, blah. She just doesn't want the inconvenience that a baby would bring. I'm just sick. Abortion is WRONG (IMO). She's just coping out on her responsibility. If there were a medical reason she needed an abortion, I might rethink my position as far as abortion goes, but that's not the case here. It's just reverse contraception. She was on the pill at one point but she "couldn't remember to take it." I had a hard time believing she even knew who the father was because of the number of guys she has been with. Can anyone share something with me to help me from literally being sick over this?
When 19 my roommate got pregnant...she was Catholic but - sm
and went to church on Sunday, etc., had guys use condoms, though 1 x did not only because she was trashed at the time and he forced himself on her (per her story). We discussed her options and both of us firmly believed that abortion was the best option as having it and keeping it was not feasible as (1) the guy denied it was his, though that could have been easily disproved, (2) her parents would have had a cow, (3) she did not want her whole life turned upsided down (yes selfish but at 19 that is the way it is). So a few of us got up the cash ($200), I borrowed a car from someone and drove her to the clinic about an hour or so from our school. Personally I think it was the right decision, but then again I am pro-choice/abortion. I don't agree with people who use it as a form of BC though (i.e. multiple abortions). If I got pregnant now (40) my husband (so he says) would push for an abortion, though at this stage in my life I would have a hard time making that choice and adoption would not be an option either....BUT at 19 I'd do it in a heartbeat. I had a scar in college too, I was a month late, using condoms and a diaphragm....luckily I was not pregnant just stressed out apparently. You cannot make the decision for her. You can point out options and pros and cons and possible later life ramifications, but I doubt it will do any good. My roommate married a few years after we graduated and was very firm in her decision never to have children as she just doesn't want them, to this day she has no children by choice. But your niece will need to learn to be more resposible. If she does not want to take the pill, which is so easy to do and remember (bogus excuse), she better carry condoms with her....plus if she is not careful and sleeps around a lot then she will, I guarantee, get herpes or another STD before she gets out of college. Ask her if she wants that or HIV, maybe she will get to thinking. Who knows.
My neice is pregnant....thank you for all the responses.
I do appreciate all the responses. I don'g believe I'm being self-righteous and am trying to be supportive but I wanted her to quit sleeping around. That's dangerous. Yes, the pregnancy can be changed, removed, deleted. Herpes, HIV and a variety of other things cannot. I was a 15 and pregnant, so I do know a little about it. I had the baby and he died at an early age not by my choice. I still deal with this everyday and maybe that's why my stand on abortion is so tough. The pain from a dead baby is plain and hard no matter what age he/she dies. I've done everything to encourage my neice to live with the choice AND to do everything she has to that will prevent it from happening again. BUT the choice is hers to make. NO NEED TO RESPOND TO THIS NOTE. I just needed to say thanks for all the responses and just say a prayer for us today. Thanks again.
My neice has found out that she's pregnant........
My heart goes out to you and to your neice. I know that abortion is a strong issue that creates many fights and I feel that we need to eliminate human problems not human beings. With that being said (I don't judge anyone who has had one--not my place, just speaking for my self and own body/mind here). I think your neice should get some counseling first. I have a friend who had an abortion at 20, close to the same reasons and has regretted it ever since, now that she is in her 30s and married with 2 children she says her heart aches over the one she aborted. I myself had a child at 19 (many years ago) and at that time in my life looked at ALL the options in front of me (even abortion). I kept my baby and it was a hard struggle. I since married and have had other children, but feel I made the right decision for me. I can't tell someone else what they should do, but I think they need to weigh all the options on the table pros and cons before hastily making a decision that they will have to live with forever (no matter what she chooses). There are many people who are dying to adopt as well, has she considered adoption?
I think you are just looking for some support here and I really feel for you. Please know you and your neice will be in my thoughts. I wish you both the best!!!
Just hope he doesn't end up getting her pregnant!
Then she'll have him for the next 18 years whether he wises up or not.
pregnant w/ work questions
I just found out I am 6 weeks pregnant. I am debating on when to tell work and if I should take the full 12 weeks allotted to me through NY. They will hold my job, right? Some advice would be appreciated.
Thanks!
I worked with a couple of pregnant MTs
I have worked with a couple of transcriptionists that were pregnant and the first few months for them was very difficult, i.e. exhausted, difficulty focusing, tired tired tired! It passes after the fourth month from what I'm told.
Well, I quit smoking last year when I became pregnant
and it was relatively easy for me to quit because I had a good reason. I know what you mean about taking smoke breaks. What I do is after about an hour, I give a friend a call and talk for about 5 minutes. It is nice to catch up and also takes your mind off the cigarette.
A friend of mine had this happen while she was pregnant...
And now, almost 6 months post delivery with no relief of the pain, she has been told that she will have to have the bottom part of her tailbone REMOVED! There was no inciting injury. She just stood up from a seated position and started with excruciating pain.
Is the patient pregnant? ITP is usally intrauterine pregnancy in OB.
I was watching one of the Freddy movies where the girl was pregnant.
Anyway, I slept in the basement and my parents slept upstairs. It was about midnight when I was watching this Nightmare on Elm Street movie. Our dogs were in the kennel next to my bedroom and started whining. I heard something thump in the ceiling of my bedroom, so I hightailed it upstairs to sleep on the couch. The next morning, we saw what looked like a coiled up snake inside the fluorescent light fixture in my bedroom. It was a studded dog collar and a rusty butcher knife inside the fixture. How it got there, we don't know but it wasn't there before I watched the movie. We can only guess that someone or something was after me that night. I stopped watching scary movies for about 15 years after that. Now, to see snippets of the Nightmare movies, they're so lame and fake.
Yes. I was pregnant anyways. The home pregnancy test was wrong.
Then the doctor told me to have a D&C because he couldn't find the heartbeat on ultrasound, so he told me it was a miscarriage. Actually, my ovulation was off. I refused to have the D&C and my son was born 7.5 months later.
Are you trying to get pregnant? Are you using birth control? Sometimes you can feel pregnant or even have a blighted ovum or early miscarriage that won't register with any pregnancy hormone. I had one at 10 weeks. Swollen boobs and water retention can be caused by hormones or stress. I would suggest to just relax and see what happens in the next week, then try another PG test.
My nephew got a girl pregnant at Spring Break.
He was in college. The girl pretty much partied with every guy there, but tracked them down. DNA proved paternity. Now he pays child support to a girl who was a one night stand. As bad as that is, things could have been worse. I am just glad my DD never wanted to go.
I was told to wait three cycles, but I was pregnant before that after my miscarriage..sm
I believe that you can be more fertile after a miscarriage.
I also lost my sex drive the minute I got pregnant the first time....never got it back....that was 8
x
It's 18 pregnant staff members, not students (see link inside)
http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/living/education/14306113.htm
A pregnant women not supposed to eat lobster or shellfish? I hadn't heard this and I was curious
x
I have 2 middle age couple friends. One couple became pregnant from condom failure.
This is not just "irresponsible" behavior! Both couples are "fixed" now, because for them, reliable birth control was NOT. But it's an error to assume this stuff happens to people who are unmarried or irresponsible. Both these couples are raising 2nd families, now, but it wasn't "irresponsibility" that did them in!
|
