Poll: Who is unhappily married
Posted By: thinkingofleaving on 2006-07-01
In Reply to:
and why and are you thinking of leaving?
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Unhappily married?
Either leave or call Dr. Phil. Better yet, phone a friend. Life is too short to stay in a bad relationship, whether married or not. There is always someone out there who will appreciate you. Too many factors in bad marriages. Do you bring it on yourself, do you feel sorry for yourself, or is he/she really that awful. I stopped trying to figure out why things change from good to bad after time passes by. If you're not happy, get out. That simple. Kids do not benefit in bad relationships. Actually, they suffer the most because they have to deal with this ordeal their entire adulthood. Who do we spend Christmas with this year. Let's see, we went to dad's last year or mom's. Then there is the in-laws. The only person I feel for living in bad relationships is the child or children. Parents move on. Children have complicated lives for the rest of their lives, not to mention listening to mom and dad talk awful about each other. Abuse.......I will not tolerate - verbally or mentally. My mom left my dad for an abusive alcoholic. What a joke. When he passed, she talked about him as if he were a saint. My brother and I went like 15 years w/o seeing her. One, she moved to AZ and had another child with this man. Two, he beat on her, cheat on her and she was always nervous around him. We just decided that until she either left him or he passed away, we would not be subjected to that type of life. Point being, not all fathers are to blame. I could not imagine not seeing my children for 15 to 20 years. We worked hard for anything and everything we ever wanted in life. My half-sister, she is a spoiled snot, cannot keep a job for more than 2 months, and still lives at home at the age of 27. I had to decide on dwelling about this or moving on and living my own life. Guess what I chose, moving on. Again, the child suffers more than the adult.
I was married at 21, been happily married for 18 years now.
Have 2 teens, 16 and 13. Love my soul mate!
how old were you when you got married? sm
I was...18! Wow, now that seems SOOO young! Been married though, to the same man for 18 years! Just a curious question!
Married at 24.
Married for 18 years and going strong.
Married at 18, again at 34
I was married (pregnant) at 18, had two kids and divorced at 30. Then I remarried at 34, having learned a lot about what I wanted and didn't want in a mate, and two more kids and almost 19 years later we're still going very, very strong, still making goals and achieving them. Been working at home as an MT since our 14 year old daughter was born, and that's been absolutely crucial, as we're all homebodies.
I never said I was married,
I am only into stealing husbands.
I was 26, married 5 yrs, before I had first NEW car. nm
S
I used to be married to
then, got divorced (another long story unto itself), but he wouldn't "let" me do anything. He was a real dictator and was very condescending and just basically not a nice person. Of course, he wasn't like that when we were dating. Anyway, I have remarried and my husband is wonderful. He really is one of the best guys I've ever known. He loves his kids and looks forward to me going off somewhere (shopping, visiting my sister, etc.) so he can have the boys to himself; it's daddy/kids play time.
I was so used to asking my first husband's permission to do things that every now and then I slip up and ask my husband now, and he gets offended when I ask him for permission! He can't believe my first husband was that kind of person. Just had to share this with y'all. My best friend wants to clone him.
yes, married 25 yr now
With the assumptions you gave, I would -- we are all susceptible to temptation. Our marriage had a breach of trust and that was a tremendous blow. But 10 yr later, we are happier than ever. It's a slow deliberate road back to a sound relationship -- but committment is the name of the game, isn't it? I'm glad I stuck it out.
Every day since I got married.
x
married at 27; am still, 23 years later.
x
18 here. Graduated and then married
two weeks later, still with the same man 16 years later.
Married at 19, same man for 23 years
18 and still married 27 years later. nm
24 - married 8 years on 08-09
nm
24, married 26 years now.
He was 27. We only dated 7 months. Although both knew what we wanted, and did not hesitate, I would recommend a longer dating period. We went into it with the idea that divorce was not an option. I know that everyone's situation is different. My brother and sister are each on their fourth go around. But people just don't think about marriage in the same way that they used to.
24, will be married 18 years on 10/3/05. nm
nm
why are they getting married this year (sm)
 and having their "fairy tale wedding" next year? Why not just wait and do the whole marriage thing next year, but have an engagement party this year?
I know it's probably personal but hey, you brought it up!
After being married for almost 19 years....its even better!
 My husband and I have been married for almost 19 years and our sex is better now than it ever has been and there is no downloaded porn involved. 4 times a week after being married for almost 19 years is a good thing. But for the others remember its not the quantity but the quality that should count.
What makes you think that your love life has to fizzle just because you are married so long?????
Been married 29 yrs, get more now than ever but I say it took me 18 yrs to train to where he knows
:O
Yep, even though she's grown and married
, he still gets it anytime he wants it. The molestation has never stopped.
Why you're still married! sm
Hang onto this one, girl! Hearts of gold shine through. :)
Married or adopted?
...not to stir the pot, but if you are married it should be a compromise. If in the end your furthering your education benefits you both, can't see how he could object. Try sitting down and showing the pros to this side of the coin. If he does not budge, well, go any way. Ask friends to help with the babysitting.
P.S. - he's WRONG ABOUT OUTSOURCING. The sky's the limit here - nothing will stop outsourcing as long as there are HUGE profits to be made.
I was married to a guy like that once. I divorced him.
Most selfish, insensitive, clueless human being on planet earth. Good riddance.
28/f..married with no kids yet..nm
nm
33/F/married/no kids. nm
x
33, married with 3 kids...
Ages 12, 10, and 8... Thankfully they are in school most of the time I transcribe... Otherwise, I get NOTHING done... ;o)
Are they getting married in a church?
Do you have a preacher or someone he could speak with at your church? I will pray for you. I am so sorry you are going through this. What a mess. She'll be his "first divorce" as they say.
They're not married yet - NM
nn
Married almost 20 years
My first gut reaction would be NO, but it would depend on the circumstances. I think I would have a very hard time trusting him again and forget about the STDs that could be involved. OMG. So, I guess. I might be able to forgive him but the marriage would probably be over.
married since 03 and pregnant now sm
and totally on the way out the door. He is 6 years younger than me, lazy, doesn't know how to keep a job, is immature. Can't handle it. Love him but just can't do it on my own.
60k+ NOT MARRIED TO KEYBOARD
Get your own accounts. Not married, work for single to dual office physicians. Not going for that "ONE BIG" account but several that add up to that one big account. I work 30 to 32 hours per week with pick up and delivery, printing time all counted in. So it is out there, just gotta keep looking. As for EMR - have been asked -- did not seek out -- to do their EMR and you can hook into the EMR programs at home and do not need to work in the office. So the possibilities are there just gotta be a little creative and work smart. So if your accounts decide to go for EMR show them how much time YOU can save them by doing the dictation still. After a while the docs hated doing it and dictated on their way home, send the dictation digitally, you transcribe and can send them over to be downloaded or you can go in and load them into the charts. Patti PS typing without my glasses please 'cuse any goofs.
I was married to a Frenchman for 12 yrs
his accent is still so very thick, it's still very difficult to understand him....and I agree, french dictators are with the worst/most difficult accent!!
My hubs and I married there and he
thinks that is the only place really to vacation. Been married 7 years and have actually gone back 6 times since. I love the shows, he loves the Rio seafood feast so he goes 1 way and I go the other. Really fun place and we did stay at the Bellagio last time. He is such a sweety wanted to do something really nice for him. The Lexor has really good food. Try that if you get a chance, little out of the way but we think worth it. The Mirage has gone too asian as far as food.
We married in December and get this
my husband is sooooo crazy he wants to visit in the summer. One summer trying to walk about 1/2 block my feet already turning red. It was, oh, about 110 outside. It does not bother him but whew, the sweat is pouring off my brow. Neither of us gamble but I love all that glitter and stuff and he loves the buffets so works out well for us. We got married at Treasure Island, beautiful place. Funny, but we never stayed there again. He said we could have remarry again there - told him he would do anything to get back to the buffets!
Are you married and if so how does DH feel about that? sm
My DH is trying to convince me to put my office in our bedroom, which has plenty of room, but I do type late at night sometimes and I am worried it will keep him from being able to sleep.
I guess if I was married
and my husband made $30/hour and I only had to work part time and got to hang out with my kids I wouldn't complain either, but when you are single and have to support yourself with no extra income it matters very much what you make and what you're actually worth.
Are you married? Do you have any reason to suspect
that your spouse might be monitoring your activity on the Internet?
http://www.download.com/008-Remote-Key-Logger/3000-2162_4-10325865.html
This site has a scanner that will detect it. Spyware Doctor.
http://www.pctools.com/spyware-doctor/?ref=google_th
Run the scanner to see if the keylogger is installed on your computer or your work server. If nothing else, you don't want anyone getting your personal information or the medical records you are typing.
I am not sure if Lavasoft's AdAware or Spybot Search and Destroy will remove this keylogger, but both are free to download.
19 on wedding day, still married 16 years later.
18, will be married 26 years in 2 weeks.
I also don't recommend 18 yo's get married these days. They are JUST TOO YOUNG. MY HOW MY MIND HAS WARPED over the years.
28 and will be married 6 years on the 22nd
I was 18--so very, very young! Still married though after 31 years!
18, be married 15 years in 13 days
      
21 and married for 20 years and two days.
nm
20 and still married with 3 boys, 25 years later nm
//
Been Married 5 year today.....
and I got married the day before I turned 21. It doesn't feel like 5 years, though. It seems like just yesterday. I was young then and didn't have a clue as to what I was getting myself into, but I don't regret it. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!
My niece is getting married later this month BUT they are
actually only throwing themselves an engagement party as their BIG wedding and reception will be next year. They are really getting married this year, I wanted that clear, they just have to save for their big fairy tale wedding. Anyway, we're invited to this little ceremony this year along with the "engagement" party. What is an appropriate gift for this kind of occasion? I'm not a cheapo but want something appropriate as next year are the big doings and of course the gift then should be bigger and nicer, or go with the nice gift now and the appropriate 1-year anniversary gift next year. Any ideas ladies or gents? Thanks.
Yes. One of my best friends -- she began seeing married men
which was intolerable to me. I tried to look the other way. She wouldn't even try to hide it from me...wanting to talk about it, wanting me to MEET them. I finally just told her that I loved her very much and enjoyed our friendship but that something had changed so drastically for her to believe it is okay to live like this and it was in direct conflict with everything in my life. I just could not support someone who was intentionally pursuing such a hateful, devastating lifestyle. These weren't mistakes. She saw men she wanted and it was a game to her.
It hurt me very much. Many people who didn't know the reasons behind it blamed me for being a horrible person for dumping my best friend.
It was hard not to discuss her lifestyle to defend my actions.
I feel for you.
Married couple both have lymphoma.
I found this very interesting. Elderly married couple both hospitalized for pneumonia, which is understandable. But both also have lymphoma. I found this very interesting as I had lymphoma many years ago. It sort of suggests an environmental cause of the disease, wouldn't you think, since both probably had similar environment for many years. Has anyone else come across a married couple having the same cancer? Or maybe this is not as unusual as I thought?
For you married folks, how did you meet? sm
Through friends/family? At school? Met each other at the grocery store when you reached for the same loaf of bread at the same time? Through an internet dating site?
McDonalds - we were 16 and it was our first job. Married at 22. Now we're 31.
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