Please, go get counseling before you give up ---
Posted By: mtgal on 2006-02-25
In Reply to: 5-year marriage falling apart - newbie
It can really help you two see things in a different light and get to what is really going on. My situation was nothing like yours (different issues) when we decided to get counseling after 17 years of marriage. I was very doubtful it would help one bit and was ready to just get out. After 4 weeks we made some changes, did some reading, talked things over together and with the counselor, and today my marriage is better than it has ever been. I think it can be done if BOTH parties are willing to give and make some changes. Good luck. :)
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Consider counseling
Sometimes an objective opinion from a person you respect can give you some insight that you have disregarded or give you positive suggestions on improving your life. It's worth a try.
counseling is a must.
I have only been married 4-1/2 years myself, so I am not an expert in this field, but I think you need to do everyting in your power to make this marriage work before you call it quits. Whether your husband will agree to go to couseling or not, YOU need to see someone (marraige couseler, pastor, etc.). If you can get your husband to go, that's awesome. He may take the advice differently if it is coming from someone other than you. Men tend to think we nag a little! I have never been to marriage counseling, and I have never been in a situation like yours, but if I were, I think I would give it my all before I throw in the towel!
Why don't you go to counseling with him?
At least once - and ask for help in dealing with his calls...
It really is an illness.
Wow you need some seriously counseling. sm
I am very very sad for you. What a very shallow and pathetic thing to do.
Bankruptcy vs counseling
I went through an ugly, expensive divorce - after 22+ years. He had the girlfriend but he wanted me to loose everything and fought through several attorneys. I tried the counseling -- finally went through Christian counseling as their fees were the lowest and they seemed the most honest -- but after everything and to keep my house did file Chapter 13. I feel better doing the Chapter 13 as at least I am paying back something to everyone and did not leave them all hanging. Am paying back 25 cents on the dollar to credit cards. Just be careful should they offer you to cut down the balance if you will "pay in full" as what is not paid will be considered "income" and you have to pay income tax on it. I still do not feel good with doing the Chapter 13 and don't understand how a lot of people can do this several times as I saw in court when I went there. It is not easy to walk away from the debts that you made and truly owe but there are some circumstances that make it necessary. I for one am glad of the new laws as I don't think it is truly unfair to make people make an attempt to pay back what they owe, at least partial. Some of the counseling groups I talked with -- the ones with the best reputations-- were going to charge anywhere from $100 to $150 to handle my money and I could be putting that on a payment to a credit card and so Iooked long and hard. You can also negotiate directly with your credit cards but they put a "stop use" on them and you cannot be late with one payment. But make an attempt and you will feel better about yourself. Just my thoughts and experience. Patti
Credit counseling
Yes, it does go on your credit report. I explained this to my banker that I had not had a problem before in paying my bills, just that I had too many. My banker reviewed my payment history and still approved the loans I requested. Each case is individual, and going through credit counseling may or may not affect your ability to get loans in the future.
She needs to attend counseling regardless!
She will find a way around the restrictions you have imposed if she wants to keep losing weight. You cannot follow her around day and night. It is really easy to hide weight loss if one wants to. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to get a handle on later. It took me YEARS to overcome this myself. Hope it works out.
I agree, she does still need counseling...
She needs to meet with someone who knows how to handle a situation like this. Going to counseling might also help you both learn how to deal with her better too. I might also add, while what you say you are doing sounds good and I think you should stick with it, also think of ways you can add positive reinforcement too. I think it would do her a lot of good if Dad could spend a little more time with her, doing activities, talking more, etc, something that would bring them closer.
I have sought counseling myself--sm
online, but I was not too successful in finding anything that was free. I thought I had found one once, but after I submitted my questions, no one ever replied. Guess you have to be careful with that too, or you may find your personal problems pasted all over the internet. Try doing a search, you may end up being lucky and find something worthwhile. Good luck.
I have some docs that say totals if counseling is
part of the visit as they get paid extra for the visit with certain insurances.
your whole family needs counseling - including you. nm
nm
SEEK MARRIAGE COUNSELING NOW!
You need to be telling this to a marriage counselor. If your husband won't go with you, go without him. It will give you the insight needed to make this tough decision.
Try debt counseling first - if that does not work - sm
it will at least look good to the judge when you declare bankruptcy. I do not regret declaring bankruptcy at all - got a lot of pressure off of me when I needed it. I started all over, and now I am so much wiser so I don't get in that circumstance again. It doesn't take long to rebuild, either.
You really need some counseling and anger management
tsk, tsk, tsk
Go to counseling and get guidance and structure.
It CAN work if he earns back your trust and is truly sorry. Counseling can help guide you through this process. It is truly worth a try. What have you got to lose? Good luck to you! :-)
Working on Master's in counseling and sm
I have had a hiatus of nearly 3 years. I could not decide if this is where I really wanted to go. Recently, I put myself back in therapy with my last therapist after a 5-year hiatus to help me decide. Two sessions and I can see the clear path back to it and yes, this is my "true calling."
I feel pushed to get out of MT because my hands are suffering after 15 years of this. I have 3 autoimmune disorders too. I am having energy problems and focus problems...pain and all that comes with AIs. I have trouble with consistently good line counts and I am working 2 jobs out of sheer boredom with the entire thing. It has nothing to do with no making as much money or ASR or any of it. It is my body telling me to move along. I also believe I would be happier as a counselor.
The family can get free counseling through hospice even
if their mother was not a hospice patient. They have programs that the family participates in together and just programs for kids too. If they are able to associate with other kids that have experienced what they have that would probably be a tremendous help. They don't just talk about their feelings, but do activities and play games and just be kids, but if the emotions come then there is a trained person to help them.
Sounds like the dad could use some counseling too and maybe just a break from being a parent 24/7.
Get marital counseling for the sake of your children.
You probably could stay there your entire life and manage but the kids deserve better.
For those who have used credit counseling services, what was your experience?
Some info on credit counseling vs bankruptcy
This is just a heads up for those that were questioning about your choices. I was doing some research on a cancellation of debt form - 1099-C that I am doing for my ex-husband as he never paid me the $9720 he owed me and found on a web page that some of the people that are going through Credit Counseling now are getting 1099-C for some canellation of the debt from credit card companies. If they forgive this debt, then you have to claim it on your income tax as "INCOME" so think about this in your situation. If you are going through a counseling agency ask them if any of your accounts can give you a 1099-C for anything that they forgive you and the only way that they can't is through Bankruptcy. So that is another consideration when wondering which way to go. As for me, I have a signed promissory note signed and it is not a verbal agreement, was not in the divorce and he just never paid. So I get to put on 12 years of interest at 10% plus late fees and he will end up paying the IRS instead of me but I get a tax deduction of $3000 per year until the 21K is used up. So that is fine, he doesn't have to pay me and I will cancel out his debt, but Uncle Sam is not as forgiving as me. But I wanted everyone to be aware of this as it tempting to pay a credit card company only 50% of what you owe them but thing of putting that other 50% on your income tax forms. Patti
From the sounds of it grief counseling may be in order -sm
My mom died 9/04 after 9 weeks in the hospital (as was recovering nicely too) so her death was actually quite unexpected. Considering how close we were I have handled it quite well (we talked on the phone almost every day and I visited at least 6 x a year). I never really cried though, don't know if that is good or not, yes I get teary, but I never broke down or anything. I just withdrew into myself I guess as part of me died that day. I had a rough patch in 02/05 that lasted about a month or so, but for my daughter's sake I had to pull myself out of my funk. I don't think I every really got to fully grieve though as then my dad met his girlfriend < 3 months after my mom died then got engaged 2 months later, then Jen got diagnosed with cancer, had surgery/chemo, my dad married 9 months after my mom died, etc. I can go days w/o thinking about my mom, though I loved her very much. So either I am in denial, cold-hearted, or just deal with things quickly. I don't believe you should dwell on things. Life keeps on going and there is nothing you can do about that but live your life the best you can. But if you are still so upset and cry a lot then I really think you should seek out a grief therapist so you can learn how to cope and move on. This doesn't mean you have to forget you dad by any means. I still "talk" to my mom though I have no grave to visit or anything as she donated her body to science so I have no clue where she actually is now but I like to think her spirit is here with me and that makes me feel good.
Is there a free online counseling service?
My daughter, who is 33, is married with 1 child - every time something goes wrong in her marriage or job, she calls me and I'm supposed to solve all her problems. I have asked her repeatedly to go to a counselor, but usually when she calls, it is in the evening. By the next day or Monday, the problem has gone away temporarily and then she doesn't get the help she needs again.
Does anybody know if online counseling is available that is free, other than this message board ?  I guess I'm thinking of someone with an actual degree?
Anyone have any GOOD experiences with a credit counseling service/
If so who were they and what did they do?
Working on my Masters in Counseling Psych. I should be done in Summer 2007.
x
The girl was 13, the rapist a distant relative they took in. Give money, give food and your time, b
you don't put your family at risk by taking in strangers. That's just plain foolish. There were over 3300 registered sex offenders in NO. Where are they now. In your community? Perhaps in your house? Good luck.
oh our lovely government does give illegals medicaid, foodstamps, and housing so in term we give tha
i have been through some rough times lately and had to apply for some help. there are signs, big signs, all over our offices saying "YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE LEGAL TO GET HELP". so we and our government do give them our benefits whether they are legal here or not. now that is messed up. i am helping to support them so they can take away my jobs and i can't even support my kids and yes i get benefits, wow $75 a month in food stamps which lasts not even a week in a household of 6. don't get me wrong, i am thankful for any help at the moment, but i get penalized for trying to work my tail off and still can't survive.
there was recently an article in our local newspaper where one of our local school districts tried to charge $1000 a year for each illegal student enrolled. it was bulked and the illegals got a lawyer to sue for discrimination. the school district merely stated that they had to HIRE extra teachers that could speak the foreign language just to teach these children and were trying to offset some of the expenses. ridicilous!! so again our taxpayers money is paying to educate illegals as well.
Aw come one give her a break. She said she was sorry and is willing to refund. Give her a chance to
do what is right. If she fails to do what is right, then go about this in an adult way and not act like such a child. "you suck" That is so immature.
She is responding to you and you are eating her alive. Why would she put herself out there to be treated like this if she didnt mean it.
I am really astonished at how people can act on here. Would you treat people like this in person? If you do, I cant imagine you having very many friends.
Remember we are all "HUMAN."
Has anyone used a credit counseling service to consolidate credit cards?
What was your experience? Was it worth it? Which ones are credible?
A simple google search will give you your answer...I'd give you the answer,
but how would that help you learn to research on your own...and I'm in a rush to get to the next post.
Tell him you'll give him your macros if he'll give you his Lexus, his ski cabin, and (nm)
;p
Thanks, I will give that a try:) nm
xx
Give them whatever you
would give them at the "fairy tale" wedding. The honeymoon may be over by next year.
hum, I might have to give it a try, then...
Don't give it up
I have been hurt severely on several occasions... and on occasion yes... a bit gun shy for the first period back in the saddle. It does lessen and then goes away. Just trust in your knowledge and your experience. You have to trust your horse. Just go slowly at first. But do NOT give up. That is the worst thing that you can do. You have to face it and it slowly you will relax more. Keep in mind that your horse will know/will feel your hesitancy and your fear. In order for him/her to be relaxed, you must try to as well. That is why going slowly at first will help regain your confidence. Just around the ring maybe for a bit.... then a little more open. Work yourself back up to your usual routine. Good luck!
Thank you, will give a try
nm
I would rather be alone than to give into it and you could , too.
nm
give it 5 min and this one
x
Right. I think I am going to give that a
nm
don't give up
There is no reason to give up just because you failed a test. I have tested with a few companies and changed jobs a couple of times through my six years of transcribing. I had no training either. I had a very special family member who helped me out(she owned her own business). I trained through the summer when I was in high school with her and by the time I was about 20 I was working part time with her. Just because you are switching from tapes the computer based files doesn't mean that you can't do the work. It may take a little time getting used to it, but there shouldn't be any reason to not be able to do the work. Just like any other job, you may have to put in some applications at various places and go on interviews, and it may take some time, but you will eventually find a job. As far as transcribing, I notice many places require either a c-phone or being able to install Express Scribe or a similar program on your computer. If you don't have one, you can probably find a c-phone on ebay for around $200. Just try to stay away from the larger MT companies and you should be okay. I notice the smaller ones are easier to find a job with.
One can't give up a job, even a bad one,
that pays the bills, dead end or not. I think if this were me, I'd keep the job and take a better school that will mentor me into a job at the end of it. Nobody that I know would be able to give up a paying job to take on a mentored position for no pay. Another option would be to find a different job that is nights and do the free internship during the day. Either way you'd win in the end. Best of luck to you.
They will give you everything
When you order, they mail you the adapter that you need and since you have a router, you are good to go.
Okay, I give up.
It has no appeal. Just a job.
Give this a try...sm
Brown 1 pound hamburger and drain. Add 1 jar Prego spaghetti sauce, 1 8-oz can tomato sauce, 1/2 cup water. Simmer for 10 minutes or so.
Cut a loaf of French or Italian bread into 1-inch slices. Place in 1 layer on the bottom of a 13 x 9 pan.
Mix together 8 oz cream cheese (softened), 1/2 cup sour cream, and 2 tbsp of Hidden Valley Ranch dry dressing. Spread this over the bread. Sprinkle some parmesan cheese all over this. Sprinkle half of an 8 oz bag shredded mozarella over the parmesan.
Pour the spaghetti sauce mix on top. Sprinkle some more parmesan and the rest of the mozarella cheese on top.
Bake for about 30 minutes at 350 degrees.
Thanks, I'm going to give that a try
when I'm working and for sleeping. The doctor tells me that it is important to keep everything moving to avoid getting too stiff; however, I do think I need to try a soft neck collar or rolled up towel as you suggested especially when working. I think that may really help take some of the stress off. I will be talking to my therapist about it when I go as well. Thanks so much for the tip!
Did I ask you to give up ANYTHING!!??
Nope! If you want to ride all over town burning up expensive gasoline and putting wear and tear on your car, with your fingers on the steering wheel instead of on the keyboard making $$$, be my guest. Now let me guess Patty - next you're going to tell us that you don't drive a car, you ride a bike or scoooter instead to and from your doctor's offices and you're so fast on the keyboard that it doesn't matter you spend four hours out of the day riding up and down the interstate weaving in and out of traffic picking up and delivering, you still make the same amount! HAH!
no, I don't give them that...*lol*...ya nut!!..nm
I say also, don't give up sm
Had a cat that went missing for about 2-3 weeks, we found him under the house.
p.s. All my cats growing up used to drink from the toilet (my dogs too!!). Never hurt them.
Thank you!...I shall give it a try..nm
x
thanks! I will give it a try! :-)
x
Oh, I give up! You know what I mean!
x
I'd give anything just to have A doc like that
practically ALL of my docs are like that and this has been my experience my entire MT career UGH it really makes me cranky
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