Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder...

You just described my ex, and he has passive aggressive personality disorder and oppositional defiant disorder. 

Here's a description:  http://www.toad.net/%7Earcturus/dd/papd.htm.

I would also recommend reading "Why Does He Do That?  Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft.  You can buy it at Barnes and Noble and amazon.com.

My ex loves to annoy people for the fun of it.  The only way you can get him to do anything is to tell him not to do it.  And, of course, he is extremely controlling.  It is just my opinion, but I think that people with these types of personality problems just shouldn't be married to anyone.  Every time my ex gets a new girlfriend, I really just want to give the poor girl a hug.  If your husband has this type of personality, you really should divorce him.  Life is just too short to spend it with someone who makes everyone around them miserable.

• Anyone in your life who enjoys seeing you upset -- gets a kick out of it? - annoyed..sm
  • The first one I get totally - chelle
  • Thank you to everyone who responded to my post. - annoyed...sm
  • Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder... - M
    • Boy, this thread moves fast! - annoyed...sm
      • No, he'd end up being the same with the next gal. - single now
    • proper diagnosis!!! for my exhusband too...LOL...sm - people who get off on it are NOT friends...
      • They say that this is the most difficult personality disorder to live with.. - M
        • Agree wholeheartedly with you.....sm - people who get off on it are NOT friends...
  • You have described perfectly my life with my husband -sm - same boat here
  • Sweety, this is abuse. Get thee to a counselor, the dude is sucking you dry. - Anon
  • This sounds like a little boy to me *S*....not fun (sm) - Hmmmmm...
  • I am sorry too... - Me.
    • You're right. - Thanks. nm
  • Sounds serious enough to take to a counselor - Consider this (nm)
  • Sounds like you seriously need to consider the - questions inside - Good luck to you.
    • Not quite to that point but close... - plus...sm
  • family or not....they are NOT UR friend....sm - people who get off on it are NOT friends...
  • Sounds like my ex also.....sm - mting
    • That's encouraging. - sm
  • Answer to your Question - Rad-Chick
    • thanks. - annoyed...sm
      • I am truly sorry for your situation....sm - people who get off on it are NOT friends...
        • I feel for you. - Stacy
          • Thank you Stacy. - sm annoyed
        • Encouraging post. - annoyed...sm
          • You are very welcome and.....sm - people who get off on it are NOT friends...
            • actually I worded her song wrong....sm - people who get off on it are NOT friends...

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My therapist said that of all the personality disorders/mental illnesses, this is the one that is the most difficult to live with, and I think that it even mentions that in the diagnostic criteria.  Once my ex was diagnosed, a huge weight lifted off of me, and I no longer felt so much anger and frustration.  I can't tell you how good it feels AFTER you divorce someone like this.  Suddenly the world just seems wonderful when you don't have to deal with them anymore.

It is the Meyer-Briggs personality test. There are four componts that show how you relate to the world.  Take the test.  When you get your results, do a Google search to find a description.  I've taken several Meyers-Briggs tests, and I always come up an INFP.  I've read the descriptions of my personality, and I think it is dead-on right. 

First Letter:  I or E, which stands for introversion or extroversion

Second Letter:  N or S, which stands for intuition or sensory

Third Letter:  T or F, which stands for thinking or feeling

Fourth Letter:  P or J, which stands for perceiving or judging

"Oppositional defiant disorder is a recurrent pattern of negativistic, disobedient, hostile, defiant behavior toward authority figures without serious violations of the basic rights of others. Such children exhibit persistent stubbornness and argumentativeness, persistent testing of limits, an unwillingness to give in or negotiate and a refusal to accept blame for misdeeds. This behavior is evident at home but may not be manifested elsewhere. These children and adolescents do not see themselves as defiant; instead, they feel they are responding to unreasonable demands or situations. This disorder is usually evident before 8 years of age and is more common in males (until puberty, when male-female rates are equal).  From Vacarolis's Foundations of Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing...