Our priorities are different.
Posted By: MTmom on 2009-06-07
In Reply to: This is the big problem here and what we discussed - Never had the choice
I had a child so that I could raise that child, not someone else. Fancy home, cars and expensive vacations are not a top priority to me. Spending time with my child is. That is why I am not willing to work outside the home.
I am not lazy, am not on any kind of aid, just am having a hard time but not hard enough that I am going to put my baby in daycare!
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This is where our priorities are so confused.
Media needs advertising and advertisers tell us if we don't have everything they sell, we don't measure up. To obtain everything they sell, we have to work ourselves silly. Then, our children are put in front of the t.v. while we rest and there they are fed more corporate America's "buy this now and ~be somebody~".
In the meantime, teachers who have graduated at the bottom of their college class are teaching our kids in a half hearted manner in the public school system, cuts in funding for programs is having detrimental effect on the gifted few and we are being fed a diet of sugar and chemicals that has us so over nourished we are dangerously obese.
Who is running the show in this country and what are they thinking????
You can do it; just have to plan and think about your priorities
I work a lot more than 3 jobs, in between a full-time position and several part-time jobs (not all of these are MT-related). I have a very understanding husband, no children at home, and am extremely self-disciplined (really, scared of failure!). Why do I do this? Workaholic, I guess. My husband is self-employed, so I'm the steady source of income for our household. I'm thinking of cutting back, but for those who NEED to work long and crazy hours, my advice is:
1. Schedule down time deliberately and DO NOT fill that with anything. Schedule it just like another job.
2. Get reacquainted with your slow-cooker and use it. There's something comforting about a hot meal and you don't have to stand over it.
3. Schedule rewards for yourself for all the hard work-- a nice trip, new bicycle, whatever floats your boat.
4. Thank your lucky stars you have all these opportunities and DO NOT GROUCH about your work. You are choosing a rough schedule on purpose because you have things you want/need to do with the money. Be positive about achieving those goals, not negative about how tired you are (and you will be!).
5. Keep up with your health. Walk daily. Time is your most valuable commodity with a hectic schedule, and you MUST spend some of it on yourself in order to be productive in the work environment.
Good luck!!
Honestly, it comes down to priorities and enforcement.
First, you have to put work as a high priority on your list. After all, it is how you draw your income and make provisions for your family. It is part of caring for them.
Second, you have to let everyone know that you need peace and quiet and to be left alone during such hours so that you can do your job....then enforce it.
Sometimes daycare is the best option for young ones. Pets can be put into other rooms until break times. Plan your cooking and errands.
Having raised my children while working from home and doing it for more than 15 years from home ... it all comes down to you.
No one is realizing how they impact your work because you have not made it known.
It sounds like you do too much for everyone else.
Protect your income.
Yes, I do come first, thankfully. I have a good man with his priorities straight! sm
Marriage is a difficult road sometimes with many obstacles. We just have to have the patience and strength to get over them or move those obstacles out of the way. I think early in our marriage, I was not #1, as his mother had a very tight hold... but I am now and have been for about 10 years now. We were married for 18 years November 14th, and the first 7-8 years were very tough at times, but it is smooth sailing now!
We remind each other that before the kids, it was him and me and we take at least one night a week for each other to be together and romantic.
He does put be first above all and won't make plans without asking me if it interferes with our family plans or schedule. The best thing of all, every day before he goes to work he always kisses me on the cheek goodbye, even when I am half asleep. I open my one eye just to acknowledge him and go back to sleep! I just love that.
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