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My take on single moms

Posted By: sm on 2005-07-20
In Reply to:

This is not meant to start any arguing between anyone.  This is just my outlook.  I was raised by a single mom.  Through no choice of her own, my father decided to end their marriage to be with another woman.  I was 5 when we were kicked out of the only home we ever knew with nowhere to go.  We had to live with some friends of hers for 3 months while she saved up money to get us a place to live.  She was a nurse and worked her butt off 7 nights a week, working 60 to  70 hours a week to put food in my mouth and clothes on my back.  She went without, didnt ever have nice clothes, didnt have a social life, was the sole supporter and had to be a mom and a dad to me.  She was everything to me and what she sacrificed for me she did willingly and lovingly.  She gave up everything for herself so that I could have a bright future. 


I saw what my mom went through as a single mom.  There was no support there when the pipes broke, the car wouldnt start and she couldnt get to work, if her child was ill, if she were ill.  There was no second income, nobody to lean on. 


Through all her struggles raising me, she never was bitter and never complained about being a single mom.  But I feel that any single mother out there trying to raise children to be all they can, at the same time solely supporting the family should be regarded with a little respect.  Look how hard it is in this day to make it even as a married couple with kids. It is hard. 


If you havent walked down that road, you will never imagine how hard it is.  I think some compassion is due to that lady and her children.  Maybe not just because she is a single mom, but because at some point in our own walk, we may need some compassion sometime ourselves. 




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Any single moms out there?

Hi all.  I'm hoping there are a few single moms out there who can give me some advice.  I have two children, ages 15 and 11.


Background:  I divorced my husband in June.  Everything was going well financially until I lost my Independent Contractor position unexpectedly in October.  I could not find any work for a month and had no savings.


Now, I come to find out my ex will be dropping all medical coverage this spring.  He will be self-employed at that time and have no access to insurance.


AS OF THIS SPRING, my financial status looks bleak.  I have no savings, no retirement, no medical insurance and no life insurance.  I'm totally lost here. 


I have a few options:  I could stay self-employed and buy all of my insurance, etc.  I could work when I wanted and be home with my kids, attend their school functions, and so on.


I could get a full-time MT job in an office with full benefits, etc.  However, my kids will be alone on vacations and in the summer.  They may need to forego some school functions and may need to stay at home alone when they are sick.


I've been self-employed now for almost 8 years and the kids and I are very used to it.  I hate to give it up, but, I do need to do what I have to.


Any advice?


Any single moms?
 I am curious, any of you gals a single mom? I am single and I also home-school my daughter and I am just curious how everyone schedules their days. I have been doing this for a while now but am always curious as to how other singles get it done.  Thanks!
SINGLE MOMS
Oh yes - I have five children, however, they go off to school every morning - that is really the only way to get the bulk of my work done (although have been doing for 17 years at home). When they were younger did most of my work at night while they slept. It is not easy, as we all know "a woman's job is never done"........
Moms

What about birthmothers?  I am one of those.


Lynda


What about moms doing the same with little boys?
Ya know that's done more than the former!
You do what works for you and MT moms will just keep
Cause it is being done, like it or not. Take a poll on here and see just how many MTs are also mothers of young children or have been MTs when their children were young. A lot of them!!! It may not be your ideal situation, but it does work for a lot of MTs. Sorry, but it is true!
Thank you... I hope all moms on..sm
staff have a happy Mothers Day also !!!!!!
How many MT moms love Gymboree?

Stay-at-home moms
I have never understood how someone can stay at home with kids and do MT. I always had to give it my total concentration. I have 5 kids (all grown and married) -- and I never would have attempted to stay home with just one kid. There's too much of a chance for mistakes. The job deserves total concentration and perfection. There will always be some problems with understanding what a doc says, but the MT should give the job her best.
Ok, moms, need your help! DD has chickenpox on the INSIDE of her mouth and on

I know I've heard of a mouth swish home remedy that can be swabbed inside the mouth to numb the area.  If anyone knows what I'm talking about, PLEASE post!


Thanks in advance,


Exhausted Mama


I CANNOT believe these Holier Than Thou wonderful moms - sm
This is absolutely ridiculous... There are crappy daycares out there, but you can certainly tell by your child's actions if it is good or bad - if they go kicking and screaming then you know they aren't having FUN.  Lady, You are doing JUST FINE....  if they love daycare and you are getting your work done, then SO WHAT... these other "wonderful moms" are SO one-sided opinionated that I would hate to see the attitude and social skills they are teaching THEIR little ones!!  YOU do the best you can for YOU and your babies...  Is this really troubling to these "wonderful moms" when they begin pre-K or Kindergarten for heaven's sake... LORD KNOWS the teachers at school don't love these children like YOU do... puhleeeze!!  If it is a fun learning experience where they are making friends... they would RATHER be playing with friends than watching your back and listening to the rattling of the keyboard...  Sure there are companies that allow flexibility, but you have to set it to suit everyone in the mix...  To you "wonderful moms" who think that YOUR way of "NO DAYCARE" is the ONLY right way - poopoo to you.... Mommies have to do what Mommies have to do... all children are different...  my daughter I was able to keep at home... my son needed interaction with people and constant stimulation that I could not be flexible with - so he had a sitter for a few hours, then pre-K ....  he has turned out to be the brightest child you would ever meet with a vocabulary that would stun you!!  Each child is different, each family is different, each mommy is different... YOU are NOT a terrible mother for choosing this route, and I am sure your babies will grow up to be well-rounded, SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE young ladies and gentlemen...  Shame, SHAME for judging!!! 
Who said it could? That IS the point and the reason a lot of moms do this from home!
We are happy doing it all from home! Why do YOU have a problem when our families and employers do not? Move on and attack your next post, please!
Agree, but there will always be young moms who want to be home
nmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Some of us stay at home moms need the money too.
Just because I stay home with the kids, it doesn't mean I am working just for extra cash. My family is dependent on my income. I bring in the majority of our family's income with MT. Staying home for me is an added benefit since I am saving $1000 a month in childcare, which is money my family really needs rather than paying it out to someone else. Please, don't judge all SAHMs equally. Some of us do value our career choice and work hard to support our families.
Mine are 19 and 24, and, yes, when they want to talk, I do stop and listen. There are so many moms

out there who don't have close contact with their kids in this group, that I feel very fortunate when mine want to talk to me.  My daughter (19) and I are very close and she still lives here, and sometimes I really do have to cut it short with her.  However, my son lives away from home, and when he does stop by and wants to talk, I definitely stop and listen.   


Now, with that all being said, I definitely know what you mean about all this talking and listening cutting into the overall production for the day.  I just tack on another hour to an already long day and count my blessings that my kids and I can still talk.  Of course, if I have a deadline, I really do put a Do Not Disturb sticky note up, and they don't bother me.


Just as a side note and not to go into any details here, but my son was really into drugs and alcohol and wouldn't hold a job for about 6 or 7 years and honestly would hardly talk to me at all unless he had his hand out, wanting money.  Well, I guess I really should say that when we did talk and he wasn't asking for money, he was always lying to me to cover up what he was doing.  It was a hard road but we got through it, and I do love for him to talk to me now because I really feel like I have my son back.  So I guess I look at those interruptions a little differently.   :)


Hey, today's my moms 60th b-day, too. I got her a pair of khaki capri pants
with a purple print belt and a matching purple top along with some socks.  My teenage daughter gave her a homemade necklace made of light green stones and a shell that she got while on the beach in San Diego this summer.  My nephew gave her a dreamcatcher and the dog gave her some vanilla international coffee.  We took her to the Elephant Bar for lunch and gave her the gifts.  She had a great time and so did we.
moms? lunch cunundrum - am I a less-loving mother if I make his PB&J tonight and refrigerator it?
x
I am a single mom

of 2 beautiful girls, 10 and 8.  I support myself.  I do not make my ex pay child support and he sees his children whenever he wants.  It is possible to be a single mother in this world and not be bitter and angry.  I have it better than most divorced single parents, but I have worked hard to get it this way.  I guess my point is that whatever the situation, it can be changed to achieve the desired outcome.  Everything takes time, love, and a lot of hard work, and being 30 years old and having gotten where I am today, I am quite proud to be a single mom.


Just a PS - and I'm single
no kids, never married. You all should start with the AAMT, which from what I can see, is nothing but a huge joke.
single mom
I raised 2 kids, boy and girl on my own.  Something you might want to think about is sharing babysitting services.  If you only type in the evening, possibly you would keep someones children during the day (save them money) and then they could keep your children in the evenings so you could work (or vice versa).  There are ways around the childcare issue.  You just have to use your imagination.  If you are part of a church and your church has a church bulletin board, advertise through your church for "adoptive grandparents", an older woman or couple that need the interaction and would be willing to help you out and in turn you could possible cook dinner them them during the week or even clean their house, etc.  The barter system is a great tool that people forget about.
Not OP, but every single job I have had
I needed to be trained for multiple reasons. Are you an MT? I doubt it because all MTs know you need training for the company's software, acct specs, how they do things in general. It does not matter how much exp a person has, you will always need to be trained on a new job regardless.
35F/single/1 13 yo son
nm
32/F/single..
no kids!
single
i raised by daughter all by meself (she is now 22)doing medical transcription. even with an infant it works for you really well. you child will adapt and entertain themself, but you can take breaks all the time and spend time with them. i thought it was the perfect situation, but i would suggest working during the day.

unfortunately, i went for a second marriage and that didn't work either and i was separated when she was 10 months so i'm doing all over again, but you can make this work really well for you.

i now have my own business and call all the shots working for eight doctors and I get to spend so much time with my daughter.

i love it.

keep working hard
single mom MT
Let me say first I have been in your shoes. I am still a single mom and still an MT. IT's been a struggle. When I divorced my boys were 9 months and 5 years. I made the same decision as you are to saty at home and work. I did eventually get daycare for my younger child when my older son started 1st grade and this helped to have 6 hours uninterrupted. The daycare costs can be covered by assitance. I know you don't want to go on government support - but sometimes we have to bite the bullet. They will help you with medical insurance and food etc. It doesn't have to be forever -- just while you are learning the ropes at work as an MT and gaining speed. Theh childcare I got was in my own neighborhood - a license daycare provider. I didn't want to use a center as I like the smaller home environment. I used to run a family daycare myself when I was married. I asked for a listing from Welfare office of licensed providers and there were 3 or 4 in my smaller city -- one only 5 blocks away. My older son eventually went there after shool - she picked him up.. so I could work a full 8 hour shift. We did this until my younger son was ready to go to school. Now I just work while they are in school. They are 15 and 10. I also work in the evening after dinner if needed after homework and they are older and know it's Mom's work time. It can be done. It's a challenge still for me because my 10 yo has a mild form of autism and on days that there is no school etc it can be a challenge. Then, I try to get a grandparent or Dad to take him for a few hours. I work as an IC now to have flexible hours....
single mom homeowner
Got my home through USDA Rural Housing, no down, just needed good credit. They adjust my payments according to my income.  Eight years ago when I bought it, I was making minimum wage. 
I identify with every single

Very good and clear description of what will happen at this company.


I believe they are taking the bottom of the barrel of hospitals out there and


not putting any restrictions or caveats on the work - instead making the MT


"eat" the loss and MQ is playing the odds.


But if all you get is bad dictators - you will not survive.  Probably the reason the


hospital had to outsource IN THE FIRST PLACE - is because of the doctors.


What I've never understood is WHY CAN'T THE HOSPITAL DEMAND


APPROPRIATE AND DISTINCT DICTATION.......IT IS TO THEIR LEGAL AND


MONETARY BENEFIT.


I mean they require appropriate credentials, and timely dictation of reports - just because we are mostly women "typing" is that the reason no consideration has been given to what has been thrown at "transcription"?  I have wondered.  I know you say "transcription" in a medical staff meeting and the eyes of administrators go DARK and they nearly throw up in your face.  The hospital just WANTS IT DONE AND DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING MORE ABOUT HOW IT GOT DONE.


Well, it would be simple if they also spot checked physician's dictation


as part of Quality Assurance and if they were not doing it right - in English - with


English structure sentences - they were kicked off staff just as when they don't


do their charts timely.


simple 


Yes, I'm a single person - sm

Two people could not fit in this cottage it is so small.  The $1,100 mortgage alone I could not do without working for 2-3 companies consistently.  And pay a car payment or take a trip on top of that?  Or pay for medical insurance?  Forget it, it's not in the budget.  If I have a slow week my finances are in ruin. 


Thank you everyone for your replies!


Yes, being single over age 30 is sinful...

according to David, so I'm WAY out there dangling on the cliff! The odd thing is - he just got divorced from someone 20 years older than him - isn't divorce a sin? Somehow he has neglected to mention THAT little detail about HIS life. Hmm...perhaps I shall use THAT against him, lol. Well, as my Mom would say - I'm going for the grandchildren!


PS:  Can y'all go with me and my other sisters?


I have my DH claim 0 and single, but we also have
extra $$ taken out of his check.   We have been hit with a penalty of under $60.00 the past 2 years for not having enough taken out for state though.   Hopefully this year we have taken out enough.  
29/F single mom to a 7-year-old boy. nm

If you are looking for single coverage, you

S/B able to get something reasonable.  If you're looking for family coverage it is doubtful you would find anything under $350.00/mo.  You might want to look into medical savings accounts.  You have to qualify for these and I'm not sure what the criteria is, but Google it.   If you are a non-smoker and have no pre-existing medical issues, aren't grossly overweight, and not planning a baby anytime soon, you might want to look at getting mainly a major medical plan that would cover you in event of hospitalization or something catastrophic, and just pay routine care out of pocket.


We currently have insurance through DH job, but when I was looking for independent coverage Celtic had the cheapest and then Medcost was the next cheapest.  I called several agencies and they all quoted me on Medcost, but the premiums varied as much as $200.00/mo.   BCBS has something caled Blue Advantage that you might want to look at.  I hate BCBS because they are such a pain to deal with and deny a large percentage of claims, but it might be an option. 


Every single weekend here...NM
XX
Single homeschooler

You are not alone!    I am a single mom, have been homeschooling my 12yo daughter since birth, and have been an MT for 6 years.  In fact, I chose MT so I could work and still homeschool.  Do you have a set schedule you work?  What is/are the age(s) of your child/children?  (Boy, that was an awkward sentence!)  My daughter is pretty self-sufficient so I mainly just oversee her schoolwork.  I work for an MTSO (2 docs but not a lot of work from either one) and 3 docs I got on my own.  I don't have a set schedule, which is both a blessing and not so good!  I am never off work!   How about you?


 


I happens every single time that someone sm

post that they are able to make a decent living doing MT, earning 50K a year.  Those who cannot even imagine doing it doubt it.  These are the people who obviously do not belong in the field, cannot pull anywhere near ever 200 lph.  I could care less whether you believe it or not.  I care about my life, my job, my direct deposits, my tax returns.  I haven't done 40 hours a week in years, but I will still top out at about 52K this year.  I am in no way chained to my keyboard.   I do not, and never would, run around hustling up accounts, dealing with office managers, or any of that bullshit.  I prefer to let my company hustle the accounts, do a good job for them, and be paid accordingly, with full benefits.


 The ones who claim to make a lot by having their own accounts are only naming gross income.  They pay a lot out of that in taxes, and to subcontractors, and probably really actualize about 35K.  Mine is pure profit, all take home. 


It has held true for a long time:  If you cannot hack it in this business, then get a babysittter, buy some new clothes, and go get a job out in that great world.  I love it where I am. 


Working Single Mom
I was a single, full-time working mom for almost 20 years with 2 sons who are now 26 and 23.
What I had to do was learn to let go of some of the expectations I had for myself, and delegate a little more of the household duties to my boys. So, they microwaved their own meals on weekdays and I cooked meals on my days off. They took over doing the laundry and I folded it once it was out of the dryer. They swept or vacuumed the floors and I mopped- that kind of stuff. They both resisted all of these changes, but I stuck to my guns. Eventually, I was able to have more stress-free time for them AND myself, and they were able to see that it takes ALL the members of a family to create a home- not just Mom.

I am a single mom and have this fear every day
But, because I have to pay the bills, I cannot sit around. So I work 2 full-time jobs. I am eying my employee job carefully, b/c if it ever slows to the point where I cannot make rent, I will work 3 jobs and then let the 1 go which is faltering. Unfortuantely, I have been through what is happening to you but I was in a marriage. When I had to go out on my own, I realized how a person has to be secure in a job for all kinds of reasons, not just bills but self-esteem. I cannot tell you what to do nor is it my place to do so, I can only tell you where I have been and where I am now. Even if I had the ability to sit around and wait for work, I would not do it. I would first communicate and ask for full-time work. If no response I'd get a second or third job and do all until the time comes where I can judge which is the most consistent to pay bills. This is even if I did not have much sleep and raising a child alone. I am doing this now, and it is difficult, but I would rather lose sleep with a roof over my head and a good self-esteem, than sit and wait for work and let it eat on my bills and my confidence.
Sorry for the long note. Hope it helps. Good luck to you whatever you decide. PS: Listen to your heart.
When you say many MTs are single earners
in their homes, what difference at all does that make? Is that to make an exception for someone who is single versus someone married that the single one deserves more? I think the statement of being single not warranted, makes not 1 bit of difference to me.
I wasn't trying to single Deb out...sm
She is actually the only one who said she had her own account. However, I did get this impression from the others that posted their line rates, which is why I was sure to put "you all" in there. For some reason, it never dawned on me that the MTs that posted line rates at 12 cpl and up owned their accounts. Seriously though, it would have saved a lot of posting! LOL I almost hate to ask if I'm the only one that didn't realize that. Sometimes I scare myself.
I proof every single one to voice
I've been an editor and proofreader for a lot longer than I've been a medical transcriptionist. I am well aware that the mind can see what it expects to see rather than what is actually on the screen or page. I proof every single one of my reports to voice, and knowing the mistakes I've caught in my own reports, I wouldn't do it any other way. Even with proofing, I average well over 200 lph, and my two most recent QA scores were 100%.
Well, if its about the post below where the single mom got shafted on a job,
yes, its a darn shame.  Horrible thing to happen. But, she is a single mom and all the more reason NEXT time to be darn sure that doesn't happen again.  Something must have gone wrong with the typing part of the test - I think I read that? yes, they said she didn't pass the test, so while the whole thing is a huge mess and a huge shame, the company also shouldn't be obligated to hire her just because she's a single mom.  Though I don't think the original poster was saying that either - it just got twisted into that by some of our usual sweeties! And as has been said, on the bright side, the company sounds like a screwed-up mess, so she is better off.  Praying she gets her old job back.  I've gone back with my tail between my legs MANY a time...I'm sure lots of us have, right?
Many single older people need help, too.

I knew a lady who had lived with a man for 30 years.  He got Alzheimer's and his daughter had him declared incompetent.  She threw this lady out of the house she had lived in for those 30 years (common law marriage not recognized here).  No one could find a will, so this lady was on the streets for all intents and purposes.  She called me one afternoon to ask how much I would charge her a month for rent (she had only social security,  minimal) to live on, had Parkinson disease, heart problems,  diabetes, etc.  Knowing she was a proud lady and I was working in a hospital at the time, I told her I would charge $50.00 a month for food, but if she helped clean the house and cooked in exchange for rent, that would be great.


She lived with me until her death 7 years later.  My mother had passed away about a year earlier, but this dear lady became my best friend and my substitute mother.  I was compensated in ways you never will never know, but monitarily it was wonderful.  She was a wonderful seamstress and could knit, so after that I rarely if ever had to buy any clothes, just some yarn or fabric.  My mother had spoiled me completely, my late husband had spoiled me, and then I had the wonderful fortune of having this lady as my friend who took over where they left off. 


Before she called me, she had rented a room in a cheap motel and it took all her money.  She went to the local food bank to try to get food, but they told her she was not eligible because she had no children.  It would take several months for her to become eligible on medicaid.  Her medications cost so much that she would have to pay 100% by September because she had exhaused her medical benefits, so I bought those for her - unless I could convince a few doctors on staff to help by getting drug reps to contribute a few for her.  Is this what we do to our senior citizens? 


I am not asking for praise.  I just think it is time that we all look around and see what is happening.  There are a lot of people in this world who need compassion and help, and we really should do what we can to ease their discomfort. 


 


 


 


 


 


Not single anymore, but my advice is BUY! sm

We rented our house with an option to buy back in 2000.  It's not much.  3 bedroom ranch.  Finished basement. Nice little house. Nice yard, GREAT neighborhood.  We were paying $650 a month for rent.  We had to pay electric, heat, water, sewer and rental insurance.  We bought the house 3 years ago for less than $70,000 and our house payment is $649.00 a month (1 dollar less), but includes taxes and insurance in escrow.


After 3 short years, our house has been appraised at $100,000. That amounts to $10,000 a year in profit if we were dumb enough to sell it rent again. A house down the street from us, same size, is renting for $1200 a month!  We rented for nearly 20 years and had nothing to show for it.


The way I see it, worst case scenario, is that if MT doesn't work and things get really bad, we sell, make $30,000 or more and move on.


Go for it  !


1,000 as a single person with no exemptions
(I'm assuming only, since DP is a renter.)

If she brings home 1,000 a week say, her FEDERAL taxes she needs to set aside weekly are:

$174.90 Tax
$62.00 FICA
$14.50 M-care
-----------------
$251-PER WEEK for Fed Taxes

***THEN THERE ARE STATE TAXES.***

When you take state taxes into account, of course it varies from state to state,...
but they're usually worse than federal. What is she really KEEPING/bringing home?

Let's just hope DP doesn't live in California or similar states.
Oh...you're a single mom/renter...
You probably get all sorts of tax breaks that we pay for. Nice.
Being single is reason enough to go to Hell?
Crazy!
We have 2 kids and DH claiming 0 and single, but
we still have had to pay about $1500 in state, so just claiming as DH does and the kids is not enough to avoid additional taxes.    We also have lots of other deductions such as energy savings, taxes on property, mortgage interest, etc.  
We do "Married but at Single rate" box - nm
x
I most certainly never docked an MT a single dime SM
for errors or blanks. That is completely insane (I know companies do it, and my hospital used to do it till I took the helm).
Have become a single parent...how to survive

Hello. 


First, I want to apologize if this is not on the right board.  I wasn't sure where to put it.


Second, I am not looking for pity...just advice.


I have two wonderful children (a 5 year old and a 5 month old) who are my life and because of that I have left there father (verbally abusive to everyone) to make a better life for all of us.  I am a new MT (have only been in the business for 4 months now and make enough to pay rent but that is all.  With an infant it is hard to work during the day so I start my work around 7pm and work until it is done.  I am not that fast yet but am gaining speed and could handle another small account.  Can anyone tell me how they have made single parenting work as an MT or have any ideas on how to make it work, please.  I am deperate to stay home with them.  Honestly, daycare cost would kill my paycheck if I had to work outside of the home and I am trying to stay off of government support. 


I appreciate any help or advice I receive.


Thank you.


48/female/single, two cats, one dog.
dd