My husband does the same thing.
Posted By: sm on 2006-04-04
In Reply to: Help, husband problems... - fed up MT
We don't have children, so I can't relate to that part. But my husband loves his video games and often gets so into the game he's playing that he's there for hours. My son's fiance (age 25) says he does the same thing after work, go right to the media room and sit there playing video games for hours on end.
I figure it's no big deal. They're having harmless fun. We work all day and whatever gets us through.
Look at it this way. It could be worse. He could be a bum who won't work, he could be a druggie or a drunk, he could be on-line gambling and losing your paycheck and his to some stranger, he could be cheating with some scuzzo, he could be on the internet checking out porn and how to find fleabags to act out his fantasies with and bringing a disease home to you.
Don't worry about a video game. I'm sure it can be annoying but again, it could be much worse.
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My husband said the same thing sm
and that would be fine if it came with more $$
My biggest beef is that I accepted the job for 2 cents less per line than I was getting as an IC but thought I could make it up in volume because of the account. So after trying it out for several weeks and seeing it was true I let go of my IC position, only to be switched days later to a harder account, more ESLs and the same cpl. Oh, and tons of praise about how good I am and they have great confidence in me, etc. That is wonderful, but my days have almost doubled in hours and I have not been able to make my personal lines per day minimum since the switch. I am still able to make the company's minimum, thankfully, so at least my job is not in jeopardy. However, my paycheck is shrunk by 4000 lines since the switch and that is what has me upset.
My husband heard the same thing...
My husband is an attorney and suggested the same thing to me once.
http://www.bls.gov/oco/ocos152.htm
It definitely sounds more promising than MT but it does also sound like you'd be back to Square One with training/schooling.
It may be well worth it.
Best of luck whatever you decide!
DH is dear husband or any number of colorful adjectives preceding husband. (no message)
;)
I totally understand but if your husband is like my husband... sm
When it comes to something like that, that I usually take care of but for whatever reason I can't, I will tell my husband exactly what to do, but when he comes back - to use your case as a "for instance" - I will ask him, "Did the doctor look at his foot?"
Him: "No."
Me: "Did you ask the doctor to look at his foot?"
Him: "No."
Me: "I told you to have the doctor look at his foot!"
Him: (shrug)
etc., etc., etc.
Your husband may not be like that - I sure hope he isn't. And yes, they should have checked his vitals and checked his foot without being asked. But sometimes you have to be assertive with people. And while my husband attained the rank of major in the Air Force and had no trouble ordering people around, there are times when he should be assertive but isn't. And he is not intimidated by doctors - he started his AF career as an x-ray tech (that's how we met). I dunno....(Rad MT wanders off, mumbling....)
Ebonics: Not a black thing or white thing. (sm)
I don't think there's any cause to get upset or defensive here. Look it up on line...even colleges are offering courses in Ebonics! ...well of course they are more sociology-type courses, but still, people are PAYING to learn about the why's and how's of this "other" language.
A quote from one of the sites I found:
"UT-Austin's "Introduction to the Study of African American English," teaches students that the sentence, "Nobody didn't leave" is not "mainstream English with mistakes," but rather a legitimate English dialect. "Ebonics: Myth and Facts" and "African-American English" are both offered at Harvard. Penn and UCLA also promote Ebonics as a legitimate dialect in, "Introduction to African American and Latino English" and "Afro-American Sociolinguistics: Black English," respectively."
Here's the link: http://www.academia.org/campus_reports/2002/september_2002_2.html
LOL husband
But you have your husband all the time, think out of the box (smile)..who else would you want? Sure hubby or boyfriend is the best but.....
Not me...husband. nm
x
At least I have a husband...
The word on the street is that your husband left with the better-looking, better-smelling, thinner girl next door. POOR MOLESTED YUCK!!
Yes, my husband and I had our
we chose our wedding date (go ahead and laugh if you want) so that we would have an auspicious start to our marriage...has worked so far, as we've been married for 23 years. People tease us 'cause we act like a couple of giddy teenagers around each other and (try not to throw up) it's really true.
Historically, centuries ago, physicians also were trained in astrology and wouldn't perform surgeries until the stars were aligned properly for the patient. No void of course moons and certainly no retrograde mercury.
Remember all the confusion with the 2001 presidential election? Election day was held with mercury retrograde.
And, yes, I believe what you've said. And, yes, listen to your intuition; it's never wrong. As Einstein said, "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."
my husband does that, too
and he drives his truck. He's been thinking of getting him a motorcycle but with him using that at 4:30 a.m. in country roads that have no lights, do you think it is safe for him?
My husband is the same way SM
He mumbles and grumbles, rolls his eyes, etc. He says I spend all my time on the stinkin' computer. He wants me to stop working whenever he calls, whenever he is hungry, whenever he wants to go somewhere, etc. I feel so stressed out too. It is a regular argument in our home as well. I routinely work to 2 to 3 a.m. I get up at 6:45 to get the kids dressed and fed (big struggle as I am dead tired and they are generally uncooperative-not morning people-so I'm yelling, he's snoring (can you say "resentment??"). Finally, about 7:30 I wake him up and tell him to take the kids to school. He thinks he's so great because he spends 10 minutes dropping them off...ugh. Then he has the gall to throw it in my face that I go back to bed for 2 hours. Geesh...he comes home from work each night and crashes on the couch until it is time to go to bed.
Well, he certainly doesn't mind spending my paychecks and complains that they are not as big as they used to be (when I worked in house). Sigh...Men! Can't live with them, can't....nah, just can't live with 'em! ;) Waaaaahhhh!! I need a wife!
LOL....well, at least you know you're not alone! Hugs to you,
Chickadee 
Husband's a CPA......
says you can work as an IC or SE, for different companies. You just get different forms from your companies to file with the IRS. As SE, they will pay some of your taxes, you then pay the rest quarterly, and you can still deduct your expenses. If IC, you pay ALL your own taxes quarterly and can still deduct expenses related to your business.
Husband
Well, first of all, I don't believe that it is babysitting if it is your own kids, it's called parenting and more husbands should try it. I think I would look into counseling. No way would I be married to a man who "let me" or "didn't let me" do anything. Good thing I have a great DH.
Good luck!
about husband won't let me.....sm
Wow - I feel like we are back in the Dark Ages....with the neanderthals...."husband won't let me go back to school" and "husband will not babysit the child" - or words to those effect.
Father's are not babysitters if the children are theirs! That's a crock. A babysitter is someone the parent(s) hires.
And as for "husband won't let me" - I'd have gotten rid of him DECADES ago. *lol* but not really laughing. Any man who will not let (allow) his wife to better herself in any way, shape, or form is a terribly INSECURE man. Get out before it's too late for you to save your own life and become your own HERO (heroine)!!!
feel very bad for the poster(s)........pitiful actually (the controlling husband)
Take my husband, Please !
 Why does he put his clothes on the bathroom or bedroom floor two inches away from the basket? Why does he take his plate to the sink with food on it when he knows he hasn't installed a garbage disposal? While I'm on that subject, why does he take PAPER plates to the sink? This is not helpful. 
Yes, please tell us how your husband
Some people are sooooooooo incredibly stupid. Some people are also plain ol' bigots and will attempt to lump everyone in the same category based on their race. How in the heck does your husband know the race of his classmates if he takes classes over the internet. Did his classmates tell him what their race was?
I am a black person and am extremely offended by your statement. Did you think that only white people visited this site?
this is my first husband.
My son was born out of a very short immature teenage relationship, which I ended 2 weeks after I told him I was pregnant. He proved his immaturity very quickly in his actions and I decided one baby would be enough to handle, I didn't need two. That choice, I feel, was very responsible and smart. I DO NOT regret keeping my son as he is a wonderful, smart, loving child who has a lot to give to this world.
I am done defending myself to those who choose to bring me down rather than offer some of the pros/cons of staying married or going single again.
What husband???
:)
No husband. nm
x
My husband had this done
He regrets it sometimes. He still has problems on and off with reflux but had it much worse before the procedure. He lost a lot of weight after the procedure, probably 20 pounds or so because you are limited on the portion and what food you can eat. You are on a liquid diet the first 2-3 days then soft diet for about a week then gradually can start eating solid food again. He also has a lot of problems with gas, he constantly take gas pills but everyone I am sure is different.
my husband was there and...
He had me send Coolaid, nonperishable foods, candy, snacks, toiletries, and stuff like that. When my husband was over there, it was the beginning of the war over there and they didn't have all of that stuff. It may be different now though. You may want to go look at the forums at www.military.com. I am not sure, but you may find something there.
I said to my husband
at the beginning of the show "I hope Uncle June doesn't have a firearm in that house". He was talking about Pussy and some other guy that was also whacked. Tony made the mistake of saying one of their names when he was calling to him for supper. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT! I said, "he shouldn't have said THAT", no sooner were the words out of my mouth and BANG! I hate when I'm right about things like that. He's going to survive, just waiting to see how it plays out. I LOVE THE SOPRANOS! I LOVE JAMES GANDOLFINI! Good night!
My husband was like you regarding me and
sleep. At night, it was difficult for me to fall asleep but in the morning, I was out and it took dynamite to get me up if I hadn't gotten my 8 hours of sleep. I didn't continue to sleep because I didn't want to start the day with him, I did it because I was so drowsy.
When I did get up, I could feel his resentment, made me feel like I was lazy. It was very very bad to start the day off with bad vibes. This happened on vacations as well. He was an early riser but would take naps in the afternoon. I preferred to stay in bed until 9.
Let your kids witness you and your husband in a healthy happy relationship and they will go on to create one just like yours. That is all kids want really. Your actions toward are being watched very closely by these kids.
And yes, your husband sounds like a good man. After my marriage ended (I left), my husband was more than willing to give me the little that I asked for but the negativity snuffed out the positive in the relationship.
My husband used it
He said the withdrawals really weren't that bad. It comes with an aroma inhaler and that helped him a lot! He's been a nonsmoker now for 3 years! Good luck! It's one of the best things you can do for yourself!
Ugh, I am so sorry for your husband.
I've learned that when they speak their native language as much or more as English, the accent never goes away. It's a crying shame.
My husband used it...sm
He used it when he was a teenager at about 16 for 3-4 months and then again as an adult at age 26 for three months.
He had no side effects at all except maybe dry skin. For him it was a life saver because he is a salesman and appearance means a lot.
You just have to make an informed decision. I would do it if my child had acne. I'm a 33-year-old adult and have the occassional pimple because of my birth control and hate it. I try to cover it up with makeup, but boys don't have that option. I, myself, wouldn't hesitate to use it if I had severe acne.
Anyway, my husband says he was told that there may be times again in the future when he has to use it. It is not for long-term use all at one time, but he used it for a few months twice in 10 years.
Hope this helps.
My husband
did the shopping when I was pregnant. One time he came home and had spent $400 at Kroger. WOW!!!! AND.........didn't buy any meat. I couldn't believe it. With the # of bags he brought in I would have thought $150 to $200. UGH. And no meat. I still can't get over that. LOL.
Needless to say I am back to doing the shopping. I would hate to imagine our financial situation if he handled the money. LOL.
My husband is the same way sm
Sometimes when I need a change I cook tortellini alfredo and crumble bacon over the top of it. He loves it. We usually add some garlic toast or a salad.
This is what husband and I have done...
for each big decision on job change, moving to a different state, or a situation similar to what you are facing now, one where we find it hard to decide but think we would be happy with either one. Scarey spot to be in, I know!
Make a list of two columns, one column for each choice (Admin Asst and MT).
Then list each pro/con for both options (each choice has to have the same pros and cons). Gas money, time spent with kids, social contact, type of work, etc., etc. - list whatever options are important to you.
Then assign a percentage or number to each option (my husband is an engineer so we have had to use this elaborate percentage work sheet thing he makes up!!! I just give him my number on a scale of 1 to 5 how I would rate each option and he does his mathematical calculations).
Then sit down with whoever you want to have input and start assigning numbers to each option in order of importance. If you use 1 as low importance and 5 as high importance - then, say, "Gas Money" option - working at home would be a 5 and the office would be a 1 (no gas money for home, lots of gas money for office). In other words, if gas money were the only consideration, home would win with a number 5 and office would lose with a number 1. Then go down your list assigning numbers.
When you are done, add up your numbers and see which option has the most points and that should tell you which you would prefer.
This may sound convoluted and I guess it is (unless you are an engineer or a math major) but, like I said, we have used this each time we have had a big decision to make, have gone ahead with the "most desirable" in terms of percentage outcome, and have been very content with our choice.
I might add that we have lived in 5 different states in 10 years - so we have really put this to the test!!!
The hardest part for me, I think, was getting to the point where I felt each option was equal in desirability. But you seem to be at that point already, having two choices and facing the anxiety of picking one over the other. So you are probably ready for THE BIG TEST.
Good luck to you no matter which you pick and whether or not you use my method!!
i see now that my husband is not only one
who can't seem to quit. I absolutely hate the effects (on health, house, etc), the stink, the cost, to the point i've thought of living separately. and he has been extremely self-diciplined in other areas of life too, but cannot seem to give this up.
My husband has this
My husband, 30 years old, had an ear infection. It got so bad that it caused him to develop Bell's palsy. They told him that it takes anywhere from three weeks to six months to return to normal, but he may have some permanent residual palsy. It has been about seven months and he still has some problems. He can only shut his eye about 75%, his smile is not all there and he has some noticeable paralysis to his cheek. Stress, common cold or hot days can bring on a recurrence or worsen residual symptoms. Our outlook is that there are worse things to have. Hope you do well with yours.
No different than my husband
downloading Express Scribe for me so I could test for an online position. That's why I love him sooooo!! My own personal techie, the love of my life!
Get a new husband
Just kidding. Sort of. But how long has it been since you've had a REAL vacation? The kind where you sit on the beach and drink Bahama Mamas? Or go camping, or hiking, or whatever it is you like to do on vacation?
If the answer is "more than two years ago" or "I don't remember", then you need a break.
If a vacation doesn't help, then you need a new job.
My husband is an IC.
Not transcription, another field, but the concept is the same. He bills twice a month, and they pay WHEN they want to, and WHAT they want to. They say the exact same thing to him, that he gets paid when they get paid from the client. Also, they always review work before they send to client, so if they are reviewing slow, then pay is even slower. He's checked with lawyers on this, and because he is not an employee, there isn't a thing he can do about it, as long as they eventually pay him within 3 months.
What if it is your husband
I work in Pathology for a large metropolitan medical center and my husband a prostate biopsy. Everyone expected it to be negative. While at work the report came to my workstation and of course it was malignant. I LITERALLY LOST MY MIND THAT DAY. He had the surgery and he is fine, but I will never forget that day.
My husband and I have before...sm
We met in person 2 of the people who hung out in an AOL chat room with us. They both lived in Missouri and while we were there on vacation last year, we got together. It was so much fun. They didn't at all seem like their online personalities. They said the same thing about us. LOL. But we met at a restaurant too, so it was not like we were all by ourselves.
We have also called and had people call us that we have met online and through IM'ng. For the most part, they are pretty much like us as far as ideas, jobs, living conditions, thinking, etc. Most people are pretty straightforward, but there is always that lunatic fringe out there that gives meeting online people a bad name. I think if you just use your head, you should not have any problems. And you might even be pleasantly surprised.
Do you have a husband? This is why I ask..sm
If you have a husband who is a vetran, the VA may be able to help you save your house.
Here in Michigan the VA has a department called the Vetran's Trust Fund. It is part of my husband's GI bennies that he is eligible for. They will work with you to help you keep your house. You need to fill out a TON of paperwork, but it's the gov't, and they THRIVE on paperwork. And if it saves your house, it is worth every form you will have to fill out.
Anyway....you have to be at least 3-4 months behind and have an actual notice to foreclose. They also will look at your ability to repay, what you can repay, and if they do pay your amount past due and get you current, will it happen again.
They helped us once when I lost my job 6 years ago and it was worth every minute I spent with the VA.
Good luck.
Best thing - I am my own boss and my own emloyee, worse thing - I am my own boss and my own
:P
Sorry.....gotta say my husband, especially when I see
him throwing ball with my son or reading a book to our little girl.......then 10 minutes later when he's leaving his dirty clothes in the bathroom, I could just kill him.....LOL.
My husband is now winding down...sm
a 20-year career in the AF. I personally wouldn't trade 1 minute of it. As someone else posted, all situations are different, but mine is definitely a positive one. Over the years I have been scared out of my mind for him, mad as hell, and proud beyond words. There have been many times that we have been apart and he has missed some of my children's milestones, and it is very hard sometimes, especially trying to explain it all to a child. That said though...I don't think either of them would want their dad to be anything other than what he is. They have learned to hold close the time spent with their dad and know that what he does, he does for them and his love of this country and all that it stands for. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Anyone's husband in the military?
My husband is thinking of joining the military. He has always wanted to since we met about 7 years ago and we just went to a wedding where his couisin was there, who just got back from Iraq. His cousin is going back voluntarily. He is a higher rank (I have on idea what the difference is). Anyway, I am really worried about this. It is just something that he is thinking about right now, but we have 2 kids and it scares me to death!!! Any advice or anyone with experience with this?
I believe it is Darling Husband....nm
x
What does that mean? My husband doesn't tell me what to do
and I certainly would never obey any man anyway. He's a great guy. He doesn't "babysit" his own kids because he's a real parent. He cooks and cleans. He's good at auto mechanics and construction, so he keeps all of our belongings maintained. We have a very loving, give and take relationship. We're equals. I just like to work holidays because it's quiet and I make more money. How does that equate into living my husband's life? I really don't see your logic there.
I can tell you as a passenger what it's like. My ex-husband was a
truck driver and I would go with him at times. This is just MY opinion based on MY experiences.
1. It's a very dirty job: The truck is dirty; public bathrooms and showers are gross; places you load and unload are dirty; don't always have access to a shower, etc.
2. It's not the way to get to see the country like you would think: You're always on the highways and roads trucks can use; usually industrial zones; not pretty.
3. It is lonely: You see people when you stop to eat, but you are in the truck most of the time.
4. It can be a major Pain in the behind: From being "stranded" with no load to get back on (not allowed to dead-head), dealing with nasty dispatchers, waiting "in line for HOURS" to unload, vendor "refusing" the load, leaving you stuck with it, etc.
5. It can be dangerous: A.People in cars are totally ignorant about big trucks (unless they have a family member driver or have first-hand experience). They just don't get it that the truck with load can weigh 80,000 lbs and the science behind that weight + momentum = I can't stop like your Volkswagon!!
B.My ex was a steel hauler so a lot of places we unloaded were not real inviting and sometimes we would roll in at night and then of course have to sleep in the truck. It can be a little creepy.
That's my input. Sorry, but I guess in reading it back, it is all negative. I didn't have many positive experiences with it....
but then again, maybe it was because of who I was riding with!!
Good luck to you. I think you are brave for wanting to venture out like that.
I'm trying . . . husband mentally ill (sm)
and hasn't worked for nearly a year. I was working until I had to go to take care of sick dad for 3 weeks and husband didn't pay the rent. We've been in shelters and such since, now down to our last few days. This isn't the children's fault. They're the only thing I've ever done right in my life. I love them so much. But I'm scared of living on the streets, obviously can't do MT (haven't been able to since Feb since no shelters offer phones or Internet). I was thinking of seeing if they could be placed in foster care and trying to get myself OK in the head enough. what do you think?
I had to leave my husband
because he was the exact same way as your mother. Everything I did, everything I said, even the way I looked or watched t.v. or talked to other people he had something negative to say about it. I just got fed up and decided to leave and I am so much better now. My family tells me I look 10 years younger. I'm not under that stress under more and it makes a big difference. Believe me you'll be much more happier if you do what best for yourself
Don't need to. My husband's home.
He's cooking dinner and I'm done working, so I'm outta here. I'll leave you to your computer stuff.
My husband did this, only he waited until
he got to college to do it. He too loves the game but was burnt out on it. He had 7 colleges to chose from. He went to camp and after the first 2 weeks made first string as a Freshman, he quit the next week. He would have gone Pro but instead he quit school and joined the Army. He has been in the Army now for 17 years, going back to school after his first tour to Saudi, and he does not regret it one bit.
His opinion is that he started playing ball for him but when everyone saw how good he was, it then became about them and the fun was gone. He did not want to live the rest of his life doing what "other" people wanted him to do.
Your son has chosen academics over ball and there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe he doesn't want to be labeled as a "great football player" but instead as a "great man". Support him, like you are, don't be sad, be happy that he is mature enough to make this decision. He is bound for many a great things! Good luck to you and your family.
My husband and I go out at least once a week sm
for dinner. In the summertime, we do lunch by boat, dock at a nice eatery, and have lunch at least twice a month. Our kids come too!
met my husband online
I was 28 and had lots of fun with online dating, a couple surprises with in-person visits compared to pictures, a couple of good laughs with 50-year-olds emailing me. Great for the ego after a hurtful divorce. Met my husband who was in a similar situation (and who did look like his picture), and he is a real gem. I hadn't used eharmony, though, so I can't speak to how well that one works, but I went through a dating site for people of my same religion. If you can find common-interest dating sites you already have something in common to go on.
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