My daughter met her boyfriend on Myspace. He's an wonderful guy.
Posted By: more on 2006-06-12
In Reply to: I don't think it is a good idea - to meet anyone from myspace..sm
Be careful, yes, but don't automatically assume that everyone on a specific site is out to do harm. It just isn't so.
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My daughter is 10 also and just had her first boyfriend...
I was very upset about it at first. At my friend's suggestion, I sat down with my little girl and asked her exactly what she thought it meant to have a boyfriend. I asked her if they would be holding hands, if they would be kissing. She was shocked and a little embarrassed, but I'm glad we had that talk because I don't think it occurred to her that he might expect those things.
I also made it very clear that young relationships last days, not years. So, when he broke up with her after 27 days (she counted) she wasn't all that shocked and probably took it better than she would have if we hadn't talked about it.
That is a wonderful benefit...and I am sure your daughter appreciated you being there...
nm
What wonderful parents you have. You must be a very deserving daughter they love very much. :)
Boyfriend who is depressed.
A great therapist I used to work for would tell folks in your situation, that you ARE not trained in counseling, therefore, you can not help him in the way he needs. It's just not your job so to speak. Go easy on yourself, it sounds like you have been very supportive, you now just need to decide how long your willing to do so.
You should take the boyfriend out of the equation. sm
I don't understand what you mean financially you can't leave? I'm a single mother (divorced) with twin boys age 11. My net income is about 2,000 a month and I get child support of $500.00 a month. I'm sorry but the phrase "I stayed because of the kids" is no good. I do believe you need an emergency fund.
Boyfriend is a contractor
x
Horizontally, but my boyfriend has to cut his off and eat it
He had his two front teeth knocked out as a teenager playing baseball. They fixed his teeth, but he can't bite down into anything like that...corn on the cob, apples, etc. So he cuts it off with a knife and eats it.
Please help with "discussion" with boyfriend (argument)
Boy, I love that this board is available. I'm an IC and only have catastrophic insurance so there's no mental health access available for me.
Anyway, here it is:
1. I've noticed over the years that my boyfriend has periods of what seems to be a depression. It impacts his treatment of me, it then kind of upsets our routine and, of course, it upsets me. It seems that NOTHING I do or say can get him out of it. In fact, the perkier or more cheerful I try to be, the more he withdraws (I must pretty get annoying, too, do ya think? with all that perkiness). So I just try to stay out of his way and it usualy doesn't last more than about 10 days, usually more like 3-4. Sometimes he can go up to as long as a month or two without one of these episodes.
2. When I try to talk to him about my concerns he generally goes into a denial thing. It's usually a given, with him, that anything wrong in our relationship or even sometimes in his relationships with others, is absolutely my fault, but that's another story. So when I mention casually or carefully that he seems down, is everything all right it kind of makes him get mad and aggressive and usually he will say "yeah, WHY?" kind of in an ugly way. So as I said, usually I say nothing. On occasion, he has admitted that he gets down at times but that's all he'[ll say, and then later he doesn't seem to remember that he admitted this.
3. A while back I approached him about his depressed mood and he got kind of defensive. I mentioned that he acts particularly down around his brother and that his brother had said that he noticed he seemed depressed quite a bit lately and thought he was "suicidal" although I think the brother was just kind of exaggerating on the suicidal thing. I only mentioned the brother commenting on his being down because, as always, my boyfriend usually denies any problem, and says it just my making things up.
4. Today my boyfriend got very angry that I had told him that his brother said he thought he seemed depressed - what kind of a girlfriend would mention something like that. I said "a caring one" and should I just "pretend nothing is wrong" and no one else sees this either? I said it wasn't meant to be an attack but a reaching out. A couple other folks have seen my boyfriend in his depressed state and commented on it also (I have never told him that). I said one of the reasons I mentioned his brother's comment was because he always negates what I say, tells me it's basically all in my head, nothing is wrong with him....blah-blah-blah.
5. He asked me how I would feel if my family talked to HIM about them thinking I was depressed. I said I would be touched and concerned and most of all would feel like they really cared about me. I certainly wouldn't be enraged. He says I am lying about that. He said it over and over that I couldn't possibly feel that way. I said that depression is not like calling someone dishonest or cruel, that it's out of that realm completely. That when people ask about how you are doing that they care about you. He laughs cruelly at me when I say these things. He also says this has driven a wedge into our relationship, that he can't trust me and that all I want to do say mean things about him. I say "huh, what in the heck are you talking about?"
6. Incidentally his sister committed suicide after cycles of depression for many years. The family knew she had problems but didn't really get involved or try to contact her or do an intervention in the weeks before her suicide. Most of all, they didn't talk to each other about what was going on either. I was thinking this was perhaps family tradition to turn away from highly charged emotional issues? I don't know, as I said, I don't operate like that. I'm more from the school of "hey, there it is - let's talk about it. But everytime I try to talk about it he denies it or tells me I'm lying.
HELP!!!!
No way, my DD has JUST started going in cars w/boyfriend. nm
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DJ AM, nicole Richie's ex boyfriend
He's got a real manly look about him that must makes me melt!
My boyfriend ordered me flowers last week from....sm
1-800-flowers but they dropped the ball and still haven't delivered. They sent him an e-mail at 6:30 last night stating that they wouldn't deliver as promised yesterday and we've both had a lot of problems getting through to a "human" to get this resolved. They still haven't been delivered and it's now 1:15 p.m. the day AFTER Valentine's Day. So much for ordering ahead and paying an extra "delivery guaranteed on time" fee.
My boyfriend who is a school bus driver now makes more than me...
by $1.00 an hour. Only because they have a union, I guess, because the trend now would be to make them slave labor, as well....but their union holds on by a thread...
I have been an MT for over 14 years, started in the hospitals making what I make now, and am now working for a company (top of the line in the business) who says to stay competitive the MT pay has been cut. I was told to work more hours to make up the difference.
This is no longer a profession, and I think if we are suddenly required to be certified (which the AAMT is pushing very hard), I would highly contest this as I no longer consider myself a professional. We get paid only per line, lose our health benefits, if we do not work a required amount of hours, and are treated as laborers, not professionals.
Does anyone know, if any other 'professions' require certification for nonhourly positions, no guaranteed work, and no real long-term job security...
For myself, I can barely pay my rent now, there is no way I could afford a certification.
In other words, I would be expected to act as a professional, but would never ever be treated as one. I mean, what would WE get out of it?
Does anyone care anymore about people. When I first started working at 14, every job I ever had employees were always treated like they mattered...and were the heart of the job, the old 'we are nothing without the employees' - that is all thrown out like trash now and the mantra is we are nothing, we do not matter, we can be replaced, shut up and just do your work, your paycheck is your reward. What a bunch of crap and what a way to keep people down.
I was in shock when I saw my paycheck, and my boyfriend is making a whole dollar more an hour than I am...and that was a good, full 2 weeks of work for me, with the most lines I have typed since being with this company.
Can you imagine...
myspace
Did any of you see Dateline (I think it was Sunday)? It was about myspace. I thought it was scary. I have several (adult) friends who are on myspace and they post way too much information. They should be smarter than the teens are but they seem to have the thought that it is only their friends who see there pictures, etc. And a lot of the content is very inappropriate for teens--IMHO for anyone. My friends who are on it are completely addicted. I compare it to someone who smokes. They get on myspace each day about as often as someone who smokes in a given day. And what a competition it is to see how many "friends" you can have whether you have a clue who your friends are or not.
myspace
I'm not trying to start a debate about whether it is good or bad. Just trying to satisfy my curiosity. There are a lot of teens on it, of course, but a lot of friends my age (35) are getting into it too. How many here are on it and what is your age?
myspace
I'm not, but I have two friends in their early 30s who are. My 16-year-old daughter has one.
I think the media makes too much of it all. There are always going to be people who don't do the "smart" thing. You can't be paranoid about everything and cut out all the possible "bad" things from your life.
My daughter's is set to friends only. My adult friends have open profiles. If I started one I would probably make it friends only, but I'm not sure.
myspace
Why yes I do! But I use xanga more. I don't know why though, I guess because I had it first.
Do U MySpace?
I'm addicted!
Does anyone use MySpace.com?
I'm just starting out but it seems somewhat involved...is it worth the effort? And why do some people have 8,000 "friends" ? Altho I must say my sister has a very elaborate "space" with music and videos - but I just don't know if its worth it. Anyone meet Mr. Right?
MySpace.com
From what I understand, it started out as a musicians' showcase website for up-and-coming bands. My son happens to be in one of our local "grind core" bands. LOL Anyway, it seems to be mostly teenagers that use the site. If you're looking for Mr. Right, why don't you try one such as match.com or eharmony. I think you'll find more adults, and I can't say for sure, but I think Match is free. My cousin met her fiance there. Beware of internet liars, however. We can all seem dreamy when we know we have that anonymity.
I have 3 teens on myspace.
Really, you need to slowly step out on the porch, down the driveway, and into the world.
Don't you realize that media will sensationalize anything to the furthest extent possible in order to raise your blood pressure?
I watch the myspace of my kids, my kids' friends, and of any anxillary friends (it's not at all hard to do if you can use a computer keyboard). Ninety-five percent are fine. A few are revealing. Heck, my 16-year old met the greatest fellow on the planet through myspace; he has become a second son.
I have a myspace myself, centered around my work and hobbies.
Don't condemn reality before you experience your first breath.
I have a myspace account
I love it! It allows me to easily keep in touch with friends & family and I've found a lot of old classmates on there as well. I really enjoy the site. I think people are misinformed by the media & are quick to jump to false conclusions about myspace.
my boyfriend's union has helped him to be laid off 6 months this year already...
Sure Union's PROTECT the workers... okay that's fine. but they also do plenty of other stuff that is not cool with me. I like the idea of them getting paid a good amount for what they do, but then there are times when if something happens on a job, for example, two workers get in a fight, they may get fired from that particular job, but re-hired with another one that hires union workers. It makes no sense. Obviously I see the point of unions so workers are not taken advantage of... but like someone else posted, someone would sneak away to sleep during her job with the union. I mean, have you seen DOT workers? Cal Trans ? i dont think I EVER see them working and I'm gonna guess they are a union (although I can't be sure).
For sure transcription needs something, but I don't think a union is it. Although I don't think we will ever have anything to protect or help us... too little "higher up" people know the problem.
My 3 daughters have myspace sites
They are ages 18, 25 and 26. My older daughters stay in touch with old friends. My youngest has met lots of Marine girlfriends like her and they support each other. There is a lot of gross stuff, but some of it is kids being kids (do we all forget what we were like at that age). However, I do think parents should check their minor children's spaces. There is a lot of admission of underage drinking and drug use going on. I think these kids are nute posting that kind of stuff. I have a site and password too, that I only use to monitor things. My kids don't know that I have that. I just like to look at the pictures.
And yes, I agree, it is not any different than adults posting to sites like this or another adult type informational site.
My husband and I both 30 and have MySpace sites... sm
My husband keeps up with a lot of his old shipmates that way (some of them are under the age of 25) now that he is at another duty station and some of our old classmates from high school. And, if you didn't notice, classmates.com charges for you to see more information on an old classmate, so if you can do it this way for free, then do it! Not all people on MySpace are on it to do evil, look trashy or to have a popularity contest...some of us are just networking to catch up with old friends!
About myspace posts below and opinions.
My niece has met a guy on myspace. We're in New York, he's in Wisconsin. She is 19. She is going to fly out to meet him this summer. Am I CRAZY, I THINK SHE'S NUTS! Am I too old fashioned to believe if he were any kind of guy that he would come where she lives to meet her before her just flying out there sight unseen? I really believe she is heading into trouble that we can do nothing about. She is an adult (LOL) but this is still scary to me. What do you think?
meeting people on myspace
Oh boy that's such a tough question! Have they talked on the phone and corresponded for a while? I'd never meet anybody that I hadn't at least talked to on the phone for a good amount of time and gotten to know alot about them personally first. It's hard to say though for sure. A chaperone is a good idea but she may not be cool with that. I guess just keep really good dibs on here while she's gone if you can. She is 19 and I hate to say but she is an adult and if people get on her butt about it she may go just to spite everybody. What a tough call!
I get upset when people say people who are on the internet are all pedophiles and crooks. That's just simply not true. I'm on the net and I know for sure I'm a normal human being! I met my best friend online about 4 years ago. We talked online and on the phone and corresponded back and forth for an entire year before we even thought of meeting. Now she's my best friend and even buying a house here and I see her ALL THE TIME so sometimes it can be a great thing. Or maybe I just got extremely lucky!
www.myspace.com.....it is kind of like a place
where you can journal, share pictures, comment your friends, etc. It's basically like your own little space.
Career Step is on myspace now
Just telling you guys if you were grads or whatever, in case you are interested. A CS student friend of mine told me about it today. I went through CS and I loved it. Anyway, like I said, in case you are a myspacer.
myspace.com/careerstep
myspace users or computer gurus
Okay, I'm not sure what I did, but here's the deal...When I log into myspace on my computer, I can't see any pictures. All of the other sites are fine, just not this one. However, if I log into myspace from a different computer, everything is fine. Any ideas? 
Just turned 40 last week, Not on myspace and won't allow my teens either. sm
I have a very fulfilling life with my husband, family and friends - don't see the need for myspace for folks my age.
As for the teens - there is just too much temptation on their for them to get in trouble. They are forbidden and I check the web as well as their computers, cookies, etc. every week to be sure they are in compliance. To much danger there for my son and daughter.
Guess I have to show my ignorance -- what is myspace? TIA nm
sitting in my computer room, typing away when my boyfriend at the time, called me from work. nm
ss
49 years old/self taught/daughter 20 years old/self taught. I'm a CMT, and daughter is studying t
take the test soon.
My daughter is 25 and going to
go to auto mechanic school, and likes guys.
35 yof with 2 yo daughter. nm
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I will not allow my daughter to go. nm
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My daughter...
She was just over 2 when it was pretty obvious mom just wasn't enough! She was bored with the trips to the playground, the toys, the trips to the store, etc.
Her pediatrician told me she needed more socialization. A SIGN OF THINGS TO COME!! So I found a great nursery/day care at the local church and she just loved it. When I picked her up the first day, she told me I came too soon. Talk about hurt feelings!! I was in agony all day and she was having the time of her life without me.
Well, now she's beginning her second year of college next week and is totally bouncing off the walls... pretty much like she did when she was 2.
It's good your daughter can't wait. It may just be a sign of independence and self-confidence. Don't take it personally. They don't appreciate us until they have their own kids!!
Good luck to you and your little girl and you son LOL ;-)
If she were my daughter I'd tell her...sm
that I'd rather her be mad at me for making her ride the bus when she's sleep deprived than having to pick out her body at a morgue from an accident.
Frankly at 10 p.m. every night I'd take the cell phone away and make it clear to anyone that called that it is not acceptable to call after that time. Her friends will get the message quickly and will learn to respect your rules.
Too many parents this day and time are afraid to set rules for their kids to follow, but that's the parents fault. They need to remember who's the adult and who's the child and set/abide by ground rules. Studies show that the more parents intervene in their kids life the less likely they are to drink, do drugs, have sex or get into trouble with friends.
My 13 y/o daughter (more)
and I have gotten into the habit of taking the dog out and having a little walk around the neighborhood when I get off work at midnight. I'm going to miss that. I'm not having the "ready for her to go back" feeling at all this summer, but I have had the feeling in the past sometimes.
My daughter was 5.
She decided she was ready so she did it, and she loves them. She is almost 8 now and she nor I have regretted it. Personally, my sister was 3 and I was 4 when we had our's done. I think it depends on the child.
My Daughter
I let her get her ears pierced for her 6th birthday.
My daughter was 11
She was allowed at 10 but was afraid. LOL. A lot of people asked me why I didn't get her ears pierced as a baby, but I just felt that was something for her to decide. She turns 13 in September and wants to get her second holes. I told her that I will get mine done too.
I just felt 10 was an age where she could decide and also take care of her ears and earrings. Everyone has their own opinion on this, I don't think anyone is really wrong. Good luck.
My daughter was 8. nm
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My daughter and I took it - we both
had no benefit from it, and also my daughter had a very severe allergic reaction. We tried them all Concerta, Focalin, Strattera, all with no help at all. Our neurologist just tried us about 2 months ago on Metadate CD, one of the original ADD meds, and its a MIRACLE. I was only diagnosed this year, after my daughter, and after first I sobbed after taking Metadate, as I never knew brain calm, so to speak. I then read on a doctors' website on ADHD/ADD that you know you have the right med when you get that reaction - sobbing with relief, and also sadness at what you have been thru without realizing it!! Its been about 1.5 months, and she and I are both doing great. The interesting thing is that the meds are speed, basically, but if you have ADD, they don't have that effect on you - they plug in your brain. The ones who speed on ADD meds and also abuse them are ones who don't really have ADD - thus its like cocaine to them! Feel free to write if you want to talk about anything - its been quite a shock to me to accept that I have ADHD, but its getting easier! Provigil is basically an experimental one for ADD - it seems the old ones have the best results! 
Thanks! My daughter-in-law is due soon and I will have....
on hand should she need help. Maybe it will work for her!!!
They probably know both of you. My daughter
picks up my medicine all the time.
Daughter did this...
She finished the school, but basically same thing, poor pay and pill counter at Walmart all that was available. Not a living wage...
If everything is wonderful---
Why were you complaining???
That is just wonderful (sm)
No more waiting for months. Congrats again!
How wonderful! Can I ask...
How did you go about this? Are you a parent, and if so did you wait until kids were older? Not trying to be nosy, but I have been thinking about this a lot. My kids are still relatively young, but as they get closer to both being in school full-time, I have been thinking about going back to school and studying something in the healthcare field. I think becoming a doctor is too far out of my reach, although in another lifetime, that would have been my dream. But, maybe a PA, or some type of therapist, or a nuclear medicine tech?
Any info you can share would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
How wonderful!
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