Mother-in-law
Posted By: ERMT2 on 2007-01-26
In Reply to: I wonder if your family is related to my MIL - SDS
Oh gosh! Don't even get me started on mine --- that is another book! lol. Oddly enough the one thing she does approve of is me being here for her son and our children. She has opinions (her own-- not always bright) about everything else I don't do the way "she" would.
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Yes, as mother's we should take the
responsibility. Whether they were married or not is not relevant. Everyone makes poor choices in life. Everyone, married and unmarried, might need help at some point in their life. What difference would it make if my sister in law was married? The courts wouldn't enforce the order anymore than they are now. You say you are all for going after the father, what difference does it make then? They are not held accountable by your government, but you think it is okay to speak against any woman needing help only momentarily because they made a poor choice in life?
I'll give you another example. My mother who was married to my father for 10 YEARS had to get a divorce and take all 4 of us kids with her. My father after 5 years of MARRIAGE started beating her. He then put guns to my brother and my mom. He raped my sister many times before she was ever not scared enough to tell someone. She left as soon as she could get out and took all of us with her. Our government that she paid taxes into her whole life did not once honor the restraining orders, did not honor the court order for child support, and would not provide my sister with counseling at no charge or reduced rate. Do you know why? Because a member of the family committed the crime. Even though the man told my mom that he is aware that most all sexual assault cases occur in the family, but according to the procedures laid out to them by our government, you cannot get assistance if the act occurs in the family. My mother worked 3 jobs. We had to get her out of bed with a broom because she would come up swinging. She drove us all many, many times to counseling and did not get sleep to go to her next job. If our government would have pursued the child support order, if they would have offered her free counseling for my sister so she was not having to pay out of pocket, just a little help for a short period in her life, then she would not have had it so rough, or us so rough during those times. I am sorry, but it is our responsibility to take care of ourselves. On the other hand, our dollars do not go back to our people in the right way. If you think they do or you think that the government should not be held accountable for their lack of assistance or overseeing of the assistance they do give to make sure it is used properly, you are fooling yourself. If you think it is about all for yourself, never have to depend on the government at all in your life for anything, then give us our money back and we surely could do that.
Mother's Day
My birthday is on Mother's Day this year. I got myself a present, a ticket to see Rob Thomas in concert in PA. I usually get a combined birthday present/Mother's Day present from my husband and two daughters.
My mother's day
First thing when she got up, my 5-year-old asked "Is it Mother's Day?" When I said yes, she went to her school backpack, pulled out a little brown bag that says "I love mom" on it, and took out a little sculpture of herself that she made at school. My 18-year-old son spent half the day sleeping, a few hours at his girlfriend's house, stopped at home and gave me the top half of a carnation. I think he pulled it off of his girlfriend's mom's bouquet or something. My 21-year-old daughter called at 8 tonight and said "Happy Mother's Day. I didn't get you anything. I can get you a card though." I think she basically called to let me know she works tomorrow because I watch my 1-year-old grandson when she works. Oh yeah, my husband and I got in a fight. I'm so close to tears. I can't wait until everyone is bed so I can have a good cry. Am I being too sensitive about the older kids? I don't expect them to spend a bunch on me but they both work, and a $5.00 little flower, an annual or something, or pitching on a hanging basket or something, or even a card..whatever..would have made my day. I don't know. Maybe it's just PMS.
Mother's Day
I'm sorry about those 2 self-asorbed older kids. Just think how much the little one loves you - when a 5-year-old remembers Mother's Day, that's special!
As one of the other posters said, remember this on your kids' birthdays. Turnabout is fair play. If you keep giving to them and doing for them, they will get the message that they can treat you anyway they want.
Personally, I would call them on this, but that is just me. I wouldn't be watching that grandson, I can tell you that.
my mother-in-law always said
it costs nothing to ask... so give it a shot... susan
My Mother said it does. She said it did not last sm
for her too long, however, it has been almost a year for me, maybe even longer with these palpitations etc. Some days I am great, others not so great. I was walking with a neighbor until she got pregnant but has had the baby now and I think exercise does help the whole situation.
Thank you so much. Please keep my mother in your
prayers. She is a very sick lady.
mother ill
If I were you I would move her to Georgia. I would just tell her she needs someone to care for her and I didn't want to uproot my family.
Like a mother, eh??
My mother.
She was the transcriber (that's what we were called back then) for a 10-man (yes, they were all men) multispecialty group. She needed help, so the summer I was 16, she dragged me in kicking and screaming and made me help her. I could type and spell and I had passed high school biology; what more was needed?
I just saw mother on Dan Abrams
It sounds like her Aruban attorney is embarrassed by her outburst, in particular calling the two brothers who were released criminals. They are saying it was "an emotional outburst" with no information to back up the accusation. In the meantime, Beth Twitty did not forget her shiny pearlescent eye makeup, under eye cream and false eyelashes for the press conference in which she had the "emotional outburst" asking other countries to disregard facts that the Arubian government had no basis to keep these brothers in jail and released them and not accept these "criminals" (emotional outburst no facts per attorney) in their country.
Someone should take Beth (eyelashes) Twitty home and get her a nice antidepressant and a Southern Comfort cocktail.
Saw my mother-in-law's couch LOL
not her mother's choice
Glitter eyemakeup? False eyelashes? What channel are you watching? Maybe you should put on a pair of glasses, and maybe then you would have seen her crying. I think the arubans investigation stinks and so does their goverment.YOUR THE LOON, NOT BETH TWITTY.
many people can be a mother sm
but it takes someone special to be a mom! Don't sacrifice yourself because of her. Take a break, you're worth it! God bless you! 
Toxic mother
I had to distance myself from my mother too. Don't feel bad. Think of it as doing something nice for yourself.
Now that I have grown daughters I have a problem I don't know how to solve. I don't want to be negative or judgmental towards my children, but they dress in sloppy, slutty clothes and I overhead some people joking about them because of it. I want to tell them to be more presentable but I don't want it to sound like I'm criticizing them or rejecting them. What do I do?
Mother volunteers is NOTHING new at all....
I was a child in the 1960s/early 70s and in grade school almost ALL mothers were at home. I remember half the school walking or riding their bikes home for lunch. We always had a room mother and mothers were involved in all sorts of things like PTA, fall carnivals, library, etc. However, they probably weren't the overbearing "my kid can do no wrong" type of parents we have today. In my childhood the world was different, you could ride your bike, skate without body armour, climb trees, and fall down and bust your arm in your friend's yard and your parents didn't sue them (happened to me at age 9). It's just a different worlds now.
I still use the old standby my mother always used--
Vick's under the nose every night before bedtime. My sinuses are so clear the following morning. I don't even need cold tablets anymore. I sometimes use it during the day, too. Helps with that dang drippy post nasal drip and tickly throat that makes me cough.
With the help from a mother who is a nurse. nm
x
Don't do Mother's Day as birthday is May 3rd
Kind of combine the two. Dinner tomorrow. Yee hah! No dishes.
Hubby and kids (that are still young enough to be home) cook and do the dishes on mother's day, so it's always been a nice week for me.
AND I'm a grandmom too.......... X 3.
Don't ask. Still going uphill so far, though not far from the crest.
My mother went to school at 47 to become
an RN. She is so glad she did it and I am very proud of her. She is now working in the OR and is still going to school to get her Masters so she can specialize. She turns 50 this year.
GO FOR IT!!
A Mother's Day poem
Don't think of her as gone away
Her journey's just begun
Life holds so many facets
This earth is only one
Just think of her as resting
From the sorrows and the tears
In a place of warmth and comfort
Where there are no days and years
Think how she must be wishing
That we could know, today
Now nothing but our sadness
Can really pass away
And think of her as living
In the hearts of those she touched
For nothing loved is ever lost
And she is loved so very much.
Anonymous
that's right - get off your mother's computer..sm
Some of us are probably old enough to be YOUR parent.....
we do not need or want spelling/grammar police here PER THE MODERATORS/ADMINISTRATOR or can you not READ and comprehend?
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day NCMT. What a wonderful thing for your parents to do for you. Have a great day! God is good......:)
Thank you, and Happy Mother's Day to you!!!!
:-)
Happy Mother's Day to all !!!! n/m
I got the BEST Mother's Day gift!
Back in December I had a car accident. I was POURING rain and the woman in front of me slammed on her brakes rather suddenly. I hit my brakes, but I guess because of all the water on the road I didn't stop, I slid and hit her.
Her car had very little damage, if any. My car (Dodge Stratus) had about $1000.00 worth of damage to the front end. The airbags did not deploy though because it was a very low impact accident.
Well, I had removed collision insurance from my auto policy because at the time I couldn't afford it. My son had been having some medical problems and I was trying to cut corners any way I could.
My car has been sitting at a body shop since December waiting to be repaired. The estimate was $900.00 to replace the hood, headlights, and pull the engine forward as the accident had pushed it back some and clamed the radiator hose shut and the fans weren't turning either. The estimate did not include painting.
I have not been able to afford getting my car repaired yet. I have been driving an old piece of junk that my parents have sitting at their house as a "back up" vehicle for emergencies. It burns oil like the dickens, smokes like crazy, no air conditioning (in NC that is critical), and drinks gas like its going out of style.
Yesterday my son and I went to my parents house for lunch. I pulled in the driveway, AND THERE SAT MY CAR!!!!!! I swear to you, I cried. I couldn't believe my eyes. They had had it repaired and painted. Well, they painted the new hood and the front fenders. The fenders didn't have any damage, but they did it in order to blend the paint. It looks increadibly good. I can't even tell any difference between the new paint and the "old paint".
They also took it to Stanley Steemer and had the interior steam cleaned. When they did that, they also cleaned the motor, so it looks brand new. The only thing left is getting a new front bumper. It has a couple of cracks in it up where the hood and the bumper meet. But the body shop could not find a used bumper for it and to replace it with a new one would cost $900.00 by itself. So, we will be looking out for a used bumper and when we find one we will have the bumper replaced and have the entire car painted. I can wait for that though. I am just so thrilled to have my car back!!! No more piece of junk for me!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!
Thank you! Happy Mother's Day to you as well.
/
I think you have to define Mother's Day for yourself...
to escape from the expectations. I doubt anyone really has that day where they are treated like a queen, but somehow it lurks in us that "that's the way it's supposed to be." In order to be spared this disappointment, why not define mother's day yourself? After some deliberate thought, I decided Mother's Day-- for me-- was going to be about celebrating the fact that I have two kids. I usually will do a picnic lunch for us (if the weather holds) or else we go out for lunch. I tell my husband in advance what I would like (usually some flowers to plant around the house or some slippers and a nightie or something) and then ask him to take the kids shopping so they have an opportunity to learn how to give gifts, and how to give gifts with some ceremony to it too (not just "I didn't get you a card but I could get you one.") My kids are 10 and 14, so hopefully by the time they are in their 20's they will kinda know how to do it! Sorry for your disappointment but instead of expecting them to make your day special, think of how you could make your day special 
Not everybody wants or wanted to be a mother. (sm)
I am 40, soon to be 41, never married, working from home, well educated, and making a great income. Mother's Day never has and never will bother me. Why should it? If someone says, "Happy Mother's Day", I either return the greeting, just to be polite, or I say, "I'm not a mother", and leave it at that. I never wanted to be married, and I never wanted to be a mother, so Mother's Day never bothered me (truthfully, I never even thought about it until I read your post). :-)))
His mother told him that
his own sent was unique and that he smelled like a man. If he smelled only like himself, he would be unique...because he is the only him. I'm paraphrasing...but that was basically what he said she taught him. I drooled too! I have also heard that about deodorant. Oprah said he smelled wonderful!
that USED to be in our MOTHER'S/grandma's...
That no longer holds true today....even if they are the owner, the rents go up, everything got terribly expensive......my lady who does my nails/feet and cuts my hair is the owner and the employee in her shop. Nobody else works for her. I do tip her and also at the Winter Holidays.
However, back in the 50s-70s, it did hold true - we didn't tip the owners.
Why does this remind me of my mother? You are better off without them, and him.
x
Your mother was right - but not playing the
sisters games and not allowing her to use you for holidays does not mean you don't love her.
and may also not be an adoptive mother?
x
Where is wife/mother
Watch the intervention program but basically what it boils down to is that even with forcing them into a rehab program if they are not willing to quit they won't. They really need to hit bottom and you can force that by an intervention and get them into a program but if they don't see the "light" in the program they will only come out and do it again. But first concern is the children -- where is wife/mother? If they are in harms way then something needs to be done for them. Hate to see them go into the child welfare/protective services programs but if someone in the family cannot take them if the situation does not change then that is the last recourse. But get together with grandparents, siblings and pull together to try to get him to quit and see if someone can take the kids if there is no wife/mother around. If there is a wife/mother then she needs to do something about the situation for the kids sake and if she is not willing, step in. You would hate to not and then see something happen to the kids and not only that if something physically does not, mentally and emotionally it already is happening. Good luck. I might distance from him but not the kids. Patti PS - Dad was an alcoholic and ex was one so have had some experience with it.
I was taught by my mother that
if someone gives you a gift, say thanks even if you toss it out your back door. Some do not get even a $5.00 gift card. It is inappropriate to not be thankful for what you have, get or whatever. I did not get a $5.00 card from my company so the OP got more than me. I am not offended by the lack of a gift, does not bother me at all, I did not expect anything.
She was an adult, not her mother's choice
Obviously there is enough evidence to hold at least 1 suspect as he is still being held! What about him? Poor him huh? You are exactly the kind of person who talks one way, but given the problem being placed on your doorstep, you would cry and complain just like the rest of them. If it were your child, you be just as angry and scared and frustrated as she is.
she had me until the "single mother" part. sm
She makes it sound like that woman intentionally screwed things up for her because she's a "single mother." Being a single mother isn't easy, but for 99% it amounts to a choice. A choice to have kids with someone they shouldn't have. And too often it's used as an excuse or reason to be treated differently than anyone else.
Flame away. I don't care, because it's the truth.
wahhh...so HARD to be a mother..sm
It's only hard if you have children who run your house and your life. When you live in an adult-centered home, it's not a problem.
Her name is mother alright. hahaha
Brace yourself. You know it's coming. It's Mother Busy MT'ing (???) Hammer (Preaching) Time!!!!  YOU WILL LISTEN TO BUSY MT'ING!!!!!
write him a note? Can you see your mother
out of the house and just stay away from him. Seems a shame to avoid your mother too and make her pay. Good luck!!
Not to be disrepectful either.....but ?? should have taken an mother's advice...
x
YUCK'S MOTHER ATE THE DIARRHEA?...nm
nm
Of course you can't help worrying, you're a mother..
but as long as her behavior continues as you have described, the black clothing is nothing more than a "fashion statement", just as she said. She wants to distinguish herself from a crowd she does not admire, probably more for their behavior and attitudes than for their clothes. She sounds like a wonderful daughter. Rejoice in the good job you've done raising her and enjoy your time with her. She will be all grown up and on her own in the blink of an eye. Don't let this time with her become a bad memory of conflict over what appears to be nothing. As long as she continues to be the daughter you know and trust, let her dress as she chooses. Personally, I think it's a good thing that she doesn't want to follow the "in" crowd. It shows she chooses to think for herself. That should make it less likely that she could be persuaded to do something she was brought up to believe is wrong. I think she's going to be all right.
I think you must tell your mother why you're pulling away from her. sm
It can't be fair to her that she does not know why you're treating HER like this. She's done nothing wrong. You need to tell her how you feel but point it to the fact that for your emotional health and safety you can't be in situations with your stepfather. Talk to her about keeping close to her without him and if she's doesn't want that, then you'll not be seeing her for awhile. I don't believe your mother is not strong enough to know the truth and it could possibly kick you in the pants in the end. It certainly may feel like a "darned if you don't, darned if you do" situation, but why make your mother feel that she's done something wrong, point that finger where it needs to be pointed, you're uncomfortable with him.
I say that about her being strong enough, but in an entirely different situation where my dad kept secrets about my brother, after my dad died my mom found out about these secrets which my dad felt she was not strong enough to handle, and it caused great harm to the relationship between my mom and myself. I can only hope that one day she can get over the deception that she feels we all pulled on her, even though it was at my dad's request because of her health. I truly wish I had told her a long time ago to save myself the mess that I deal with now by myself because my dad's not here to take the blame for us keeping secrets from my mom.
Why distance yourself from your mom without it being for the truth? Is it really not that important? You'll have to decide. My best to you and yours.
Do you have a good girlfriend or a mother you can ask?
s
Have you watched "How I Met Your Mother"?
It's on Monday's, I think. All my days run together, forgive me. It's not reality, but it's really refreshing. Good writing. I enjoy it.
Heh - I was already a mother, tch-tching over the fashion of the day. :) nm
x
Your mother has given you some sound advice....
I thought I'd be smart and not "marry my father." I found men who were totally different from him. Or so I thought. Outwardly, you could not compare the two. There were many things that seemed different. But in the end, most of them ended up being narcissistic control freaks with mean streaks a mile wide on their backs.
Listen to your mother.
Love and kisses from their MOTHER
What kind of love and attention do you think kids get in daycare with 25 other kids in the room? Do you think daycare workers don't turn on Barney for the sake of sanity? Believe me, I know what goes on in a daycare. I worked in one before I had kids. Not the most loving enviornment! Fooling yourself!!
Time spent with your mother will be a much better
gift than anything you could buy. I'm sure your mother has every material thing she needs or wants.
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