Mine are 19 and 24, and, yes, when they want to talk, I do stop and listen. There are so many moms

out there who don't have close contact with their kids in this group, that I feel very fortunate when mine want to talk to me.  My daughter (19) and I are very close and she still lives here, and sometimes I really do have to cut it short with her.  However, my son lives away from home, and when he does stop by and wants to talk, I definitely stop and listen.   

Now, with that all being said, I definitely know what you mean about all this talking and listening cutting into the overall production for the day.  I just tack on another hour to an already long day and count my blessings that my kids and I can still talk.  Of course, if I have a deadline, I really do put a Do Not Disturb sticky note up, and they don't bother me.

Just as a side note and not to go into any details here, but my son was really into drugs and alcohol and wouldn't hold a job for about 6 or 7 years and honestly would hardly talk to me at all unless he had his hand out, wanting money.  Well, I guess I really should say that when we did talk and he wasn't asking for money, he was always lying to me to cover up what he was doing.  It was a hard road but we got through it, and I do love for him to talk to me now because I really feel like I have my son back.  So I guess I look at those interruptions a little differently.   :)

• Sometimes I need a *Do Not Disturb* on my office door - jus me
  • Same here - will never stop listening. I do feel the crunch though - Mommy of 2 teens
  • I think some days they are just looking for the reassurance that you are there for them, like they&# - Di
  • My kids are 13 and 5 and the 13yo interrupts me way more than the 5 yo... - KYMT
    • 14 and 6 - Chelle
  • Mine are 19 and 24, and, yes, when they want to talk, I do stop and listen. There are so many moms - SM / Mom2
  • You answered your own question... - they won't always do this!
  • test - test

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What about birthmothers?  I am one of those.

Lynda

This is not meant to start any arguing between anyone.  This is just my outlook.  I was raised by a single mom.  Through no choice of her own, my father decided to end their marriage to be with another woman.  I was 5 when we were kicked out of the only home we ever knew with nowhere to go.  We had to live with some friends of hers for 3 months while she saved up money to get us a place to live.  She was a nurse and worked her butt off 7 nights a week, working 60 to  70 hours a week to put food in my mouth and clothes on my back.  She went without, didnt ever have nice clothes, didnt have a social life, was the sole supporter and had to be a mom and a dad to me.  She was everything to me and what she sacrificed for me she did willingly and lovingly.  She gave up everything for herself so that I could have a bright future. 

I saw what my mom went through as a single mom.  There was no support there when the pipes broke, the car wouldnt start and she couldnt get to work, if her child was ill, if she were ill.  There was no second income, nobody to lean on. 

Through all her struggles raising me, she never was bitter and never complained about being a single mom.  But I feel that any single mother out there trying to raise children to be all they can, at the same time solely supporting the family should be regarded with a little respect.  Look how hard it is in this day to make it even as a married couple with kids. It is hard. 

If you havent walked down that road, you will never imagine how hard it is.  I think some compassion is due to that lady and her children.  Maybe not just because she is a single mom, but because at some point in our own walk, we may need some compassion sometime ourselves. 

Hi all.  I'm hoping there are a few single moms out there who can give me some advice.  I have two children, ages 15 and 11.

Background:  I divorced my husband in June.  Everything was going well financially until I lost my Independent Contractor position unexpectedly in October.  I could not find any work for a month and had no savings.

Now, I come to find out my ex will be dropping all medical coverage this spring.  He will be self-employed at that time and have no access to insurance.

AS OF THIS SPRING, my financial status looks bleak.  I have no savings, no retirement, no medical insurance and no life insurance.  I'm totally lost here. 

I have a few options:  I could stay self-employed and buy all of my insurance, etc.  I could work when I wanted and be home with my kids, attend their school functions, and so on.

I could get a full-time MT job in an office with full benefits, etc.  However, my kids will be alone on vacations and in the summer.  They may need to forego some school functions and may need to stay at home alone when they are sick.

I've been self-employed now for almost 8 years and the kids and I are very used to it.  I hate to give it up, but, I do need to do what I have to.

Any advice?

I know I've heard of a mouth swish home remedy that can be swabbed inside the mouth to numb the area.  If anyone knows what I'm talking about, PLEASE post!

Thanks in advance,

Exhausted Mama

Listen to your instincts.  You have gotten a lot of advice from this board and everyone means well, however, no one but you knows you situation completely. 

As far as your boyfriend, I have been in that situation.  I was "in love" with the person he "could become" but not at all happy with the person he currenlty was.  I was fooling myself into thinking he would become a better person.  One thing to remember is that it is impossible to change another person.  If he is not what you want or need, you will have to make the decision that is right for you and your children.

Debt is a life drainer.  It comes to a point that you are miserable because of debt.  I've been there too.  Again, do what you think is right but try not to strap yourself financially.

Best of luck to you and your family.

Do I get to make a last wish before the firing squad? 

Sammy Davis, Jr. (greatest entertainer of all time) - Barry Manilow (I like his newer stuff) - Maureen McGovern - Bobby  Darin - Cher - some Janet Jackson - Mariah Carey - Backstreet Boys (some of their stuff) - Peabo Bryson - Luther Vandross - Anita Baker - almost anything Disco - CCR - Petula Clark - 3 Dog Night - Blood Sweat & Tears - a lot of George Michael, Jim Croce - Guess Who - Fifth Dimension - Four Seasons - David Clayton Thomas (from BS&T) - a little bit of Eric Clapton, Steve Lawrence & Edie Gorme (and the list goes on). I also have individual songs I like such as Elusive Butterfly, Green-Eyed Lady ... some stuff from the 60s (my age is showing). Not really into the 50s (but the movie Grease was fun). It all depends upon my mood from day to day.

Who I would never listen to:  Janet Joplin, Rod Stewart, Jimi Hendrix, Rolling Stones (the worst!!!), most of Elvis Presley, a whole ton of 60s, rock singers, and most of today's singers.

Despise rap and don't like country ... but I do enjoy the song "The Devil Came Down To Georgia." I'll pass on opera as well.

As the line goes from the movie:  I "had two 50s and moved right on into the 70s."

Okay folks ... load up the guns. 

They know what they know and you are not going to be able to tell them differently.  It's unfortunate, because it sounds like she has a lot of hopes set on the scenario that has been laid out to her. It's too bad we can't go back and expose that school or her source somehow.

I'd just say, okay, whatever you think.  Let me know how it goes.  You'll never hear from her again, or if you do, you know darn well it won't be truthful.

You may be distracted with worrying about her and not "be there" for your hubby 100%.  As other posters have said, she can visit & pay her respects at the graveside, on her own time.

My son was only 5 when my Gramps died and though I took him to the visitation (I had not sitter) with every intention of keeping him away from the open casket, he managed to get up there anyway.

He's 22 now and when my mother passed away 2 years ago, the one he was very very close to, she was cremated and we had such a casual memorial for her.  He was able to speak about their good times and how he would always know she was with him when he heard Nat King Cole, etc. 

He told me later that this was so much "cooler" than when great gramps died.  "Never let me lay in a casket for people to just stare at Mom".  So, even though he was just 5 at the time, he remembers it clearly. 

My sympathies to your hubby and all.