I think you ought to kick the creep to the curb and be done with him.

Living life like that isn't living life at all.  You need to do what makes you happy.  Never, ever, stay together because of the kids.  Your kids are probably not the happiest children with the home situation the way it is, and you know that he already doesn't want the responsibility of taking care of your kids, so what's the use in having him hanging around your neck like an albatross? 

I was married to a jerk who was very similar to your husband and with 3 children it wasn't easy to manage on my own, but I sure did it and I'm glad I did.  It was difficult getting out of my "comfort" (discomfort) zone and make the change, but I knew it had to happen.  That was nearly 5 years ago now and I am happier and my children are happier.  Dear old dad comes around whenever he feels like it to see the kids and I have his paycheck garnished for child support.

Best of luck to you!

• Look, if you are single and don't have a man in your life - be GLAD! - Mad as you know what
  • Key word here is CONTROL - you need to take some back - been there
  • Listen - most men have more selfish ways than women. sm - Happily Married - 19 years.
  • The best husband is the one YOU train! - crack that whip! NM LOL!
    • I knew mine was trained the day he said, "Yes. You are going to do it anyway, so just yes." - Good boy.
  • I don't get it. Why do you just smile and tell - him to have a good time? - sm
    • But, she said the sex is SOOO good. Isn't this a twisted sort of situation? - sm
      • Hel*, you could get sex anywhere. You don't - need it from a controlling abuser. - nm
        • And, not just sex, but relaxing, enjoyable sex. Perhaps the OP doesn't - sm
          • So are you telling me or hinting that I should just leave him and find sm - OP
            • Why do you have to leave him for another man? Why not leave for yourself? - nm
            • If you left him, it would not make you - selfish. sm
              • save your marriage but be smart - ej
              • Agree, it's called codependency or being an enabler. You allow it, whine about it, - but won't do anything (sm)
            • If you are making it sound worse than it is, don't be surprised that we believe you and post - accordingly. nm
          • And anyone who is THAT controlling and suspicious - usually IS running around! - nm
            • very true, in regards to my friend I mentione below - sm - Laura E.
  • I think you ought to kick the creep to the curb and be done with him. - What a real jerk he is! sm
    • The sex is too good. LOL Besides, I'm a committed girl. I do love him. He's just a jerk somet - OP
      • Sounds like a friend of mine - he is now her ex-husband - sm - Laura E.
      • Some of the best sex I have had has been alone. Sex is no reason to put up with a jerk. - nm
        • LOL! You calls 'em as you sees 'em, girl! - nm
      • Then you're doing yourself a disservice, just because the sex is good. - sm
        • I personally prefer to have good sex with someone who is nice to me. nm - M
          • Same here. There are plenty of men - to go around. - nm
            • Hey, I never said I was a whore...I enjoy sex with my husband, not just any man! nm - OP
              • Major patriarchy brainwashing. - Yuck. - sm
          • Exactly, and how can you really have good sex with someone who is mean and - sm
        • Mine is a lot like that too. - in-house employee
          • So do something about it. - nm
        • Agree. - nm
  • Oh how I remember it well....sm - I feel for you.........and your situation
  • You Go Girl!!!! - b
  • I'm Sorry - LinK

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3 cpl for editing VR is RIDICULOUS and I'm fed up.  I suddenly had an "epiphany" that this just was not worth my time and effort.  Sometimes, if the jobs are easy enough to edit, its not a problem, so I tried to keep an open mind going into this, just to see if one could actually break even or make more than straight typing.  HA!  No more 3 cpl for me.  Someone else can do it, but not me. 

friends and incessant need to pretend he was a college boy, going to the bars, coming home drunk at 3 o'clock in the morning.  Let me tell, nothing goods from letting your man hang out in bars with his buddies.  NOTHING!  If he needs to have a drink and relax, he can do that at home and the drinks are cheaper!

I can understand that it's hard for you not to give your friend your opinion.  I can't hardly stand to see a woman letting a man treat her badly.  It drives me crazy!  Call me a feminist or a bra burner, but modern women need to get the message that we don't need men so badly we have to put up with all the garbage they hand out!

rear end to get me to work. I go on a week long vacation starting Saturday with no kids and today I did about 1/4 of my normal lines and that might be padding it a little bit. I was too busy looking at pictures of where we're going. Did I mention no kids are going with me?

Before I get comments about why'd I have kids if I'm so happy they're not going to be there. I have 3 teens who act 65, two 13yo, 12-year-old and a 2-year-old. Three are hitting puberty and one just hit the terrible 2's. It will be our first vacation w/o kids in a long, long, long time. After only 3 days here my mom is asking why I'm not bald already from pulling my hair out. Now if work could just pay me to sit and look at pictures all day and daydream, I'd have it made.

If you say you don't like a certain behavior or comment, it only makes him do it more and more and over many years just to get a reaction long after you have stopped reacting. 

Or who is controlling to the point he wants to know when you showered and why do you need to shower if you didn't leave the house.

Or steals your glory, ideas for inventions or any project you start to say it was his idea and really mean it.

Or is extremely macho and needs to dominate the woman in his life or else he feels disrespected by her.

Or breaks things when he tells you to shut up during a discussion that isn't going his way and you don't.

Or….etc. --

But is happy and smiley face when it's time for dinner to be on the table.

annoyed

I occasionally come on this board, as do some of my coworkers to get help with words, look around, etc.  I've never posted but today I'm fuming and frustrated.

I just got done working a couple of extra hours at the hospital this morning, worked all day yesterday (overtime I might add) and do you know what my job has been on all this overtime? Correcting ALL of the outsource's work coming in.  What makes me mad is that all of us have been complaining to our boss and even to HER boss about all the mistakes this company makes - terrible dreadful DEADLY mistakes - and all we get back is "there is nothing we can do about it.  We signed a contract and we have to continue to use them until the contract ends." Which, by the way, ends in another year or two, I'm not sure.  But anyways, this outsource company (who is WELL KNOWN) does not even make an attempt to do our ESL doctors, who are not really that bad. I know there are harder doctors to understand as I have been doing this for 16 years.  The service sends the reports back with a ridiculous amount of blanks.  We go in and listen to them and basically redo the whole report, to which they get paid for it.  Then there are the easy docs - the so-called "hold your hand while I dictate to you" docs - and the service still has mistakes. 

Our boss has asked on occasion if they are offshoring, which they swear they are not.  It was in the contract that they are not to offshore so they swear they are not and the mistakes don't look like they are offshore mistakes (the hospital used a company prior to this one that offshored - big difference in transcription mistakes).

I just cannot believe that our hospital has had this company for a little over two years and not only are they being paid a ridiculous high line rate, but we are correcting all their reports and they still get paid!! We have asked if we can start deducting lines, but we were told that their contract states that that cannot be done because our boss has tried that.

I have a friend that works at a hospital in another state that had an outsource service that was somewhat like the one we have, only they constantly lost reports and got paid for them, but she just lost her job because the hospital felt that there was no need to have all the overtime for the past year and the outsource service doing the overflow.  So they just hired a new outsource company, let all the transcriptionists inhouse go, and got rid of their current outsource service.  she is looking around for another job now.  She had that job for 9 years at the hospital, and because of the outsource service, the administration of the hospital looked at is as a huge $$ problem and just said bye bye.

I needed to vent. Aaaaahhh, I feel better now, but I'm worried that with all our overtime and what the outsource service gets paid, that I'm going to end up in the same boat.  Even our boss has admittedly had some worries about it as well, but she keeps telling us that her boss says her hands are tied and is just as frustrated with the service.  It makes you wonder how it is that these services can be in business for so long, make sooooo much money and do this.