I might be cynical, but it sounds to me like--sm
Posted By: ks on 2008-02-13
In Reply to: How would you handle clinic notes coming up missing after you've delivered them to the facility? - MissouriMT
someone is trying to set you up to be the scapegoat. Perhaps they are looking for someone else to do the dictations, or want to bring it back in-house, if someone there is complaining about it. If that is not the case, suggest they get the reports returned via FTP or some encrypted method. That way, they can print out their own and if they are lost, it is their fault, not yours. good luck.
Complete Discussion Below: marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old. To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
You are cynical.
You always think that about everybody on this board. You must be a mass murderer or something. You are always suspicious.
714 Things to Be Cynical About
714 Things to Be Cynical About
By Rick Bayan
If you still have any illusions that "all is for the best in this best of all possible worlds," you're about to lose them right here! Read my personal list and enjoy the bitter pleasure of cynical commiseration.
Be warned: it's a LONG list. If you have to break for dinner or electroshock therapy, I'll understand. (Just use the handy numbers to remember your place in the list, so you can pick up where you left off.)
As long as it is, my list only scratches the surface. If you're not too depressed by the time you reach #714, be sure to add your own contributions to the public list.
- leaders
- followers
- outlaws
- lawyers
- backstabbers
- brown-nosers
- yes-men
- middlemen
- alpha males
- women who try to be alpha males
- good ol' boys who become president
- bimbos who become celebrities
- all other celebrities
- prima donnas
- dictators
- people who take dictation
- workaholics
- slackers who pretend to be workaholics
- slackers who don't pretend to be workaholics
- hypocrites
- charlatans
- MBAs
- mindless office drones who get promoted to management
- conformists
- nonconformists
- poseurs
- people who use pretentious French words
- bores
- boors
- weasels
- barracudas
- pedophile priests
- leeches
- internal parasites
- investment bankers
- old-money snobs
- new-money snobs
- fashion snobs
- food snobs
- health-and-fitness snobs
- "I'm hipper than you'll ever be in your dreams" snobs
- upwardly-mobile career snobs
- "team players"
- negotiators
- the fine print
- broken contracts
- overbooked flights
- canceled concerts
- annulled marriages
- returned gifts
- recalled automobiles
- planned obsolescence
- knowing that your two-year-old $2000 computer is now a mere toy
- $500 electronic handheld organizers that are almost as efficient as $30 loose-leaf organizers
- 27-year-old Silicon Valley millionaires
- computer literacy replacing literary literacy
- computer viruses
- software bugs
- unfathomable computer video games that are instantly mastered by subliterate pre-adolescents
- the values instilled by video games (if it gets in your way, nuke it)
- thinking about a future society run by people nurtured on video games
- watching helplessly as a full day's work is eaten alive by your PC
- watching the hourglass hang for two, three, four minutes
- "application has stopped responding to the system"
- "server does not have a DNS entry"
- spending three hours on the internet in a futile search for information
- the fact that you could have obtained the information in three minutes by opening a book
- the proliferation of websites featuring naked people exchanging bodily fluids
- the fact that those websites are more popular than yours or mine
- spam! spam! spam! spam!
- losing half our free time to internet addiction
- losing most of our day to meaningless work
- having to play office politics
- having to play golf with your superiors
- the term "superiors"
- the term "subordinates"
- cubicles and other sensory deprivation cells
- people who thrive in cubicles
- people who thrive on 14-hour workdays
- people who take their cell phones on vacation
- "A" students who end up working for "C" students
- "It takes money to make money"
- "It's not what you know, it's who you know"
- the "power words" used on resumes to impress employers
- the fact that employers are impressed with power words on resumes
- college graduates who have to settle for a job at Blockbuster
- the salaries of liberal arts graduates in the business world
- the miseries of liberal arts graduates in the business world
- prostituting yourself for less than a prostitute makes
- staying at a job you detest because the alternatives are even worse
- people who get promoted on the basis of the right shoes or haircut
- people who get promoted because they resemble their vice president
- executive bonuses that exceed your annual salary
- the "fast track"
- the "glass ceiling"
- being underemployed
- being overworked
- being reprimanded
- being ignored
- being framed
- being demoted
- being moved into the hallway
- watching everyone but you rise to the level of their incompetence
- the annual incomes of CEOs
- the writing ability of CEOs
- multimillion-dollar "golden parachutes" awarded to dismissed CEOs
- the practice of terminating veteran employees a year before retirement
- the term "terminating"
- "leveraging"
- "targeting"
- "impacting"
- calling downsizing "rightsizing"
- downsizing profitable companies for the sole purpose of wooing investors
- the fact that investors reward companies for downsizing
- the fact that companies now exist primarily to woo investors
- bonuses and stock options for executives who "trimmed the fat"
- diet plans -- all 2,178 of them
- joggers who perform ostentatious stretching exercises in public places
- fitness zealots who carry hand weights when they walk
- self-infatuated bodybuilders who know all their muscles by name
- health-food fanatics who faint at the sight of a cheeseburger
- health-food fanatics who smoke
- anorexia nervosa (just put the food in your mouth and CHEW!)
- restaurant patrons who send back perfectly edible food to impress their dinner dates
- snippy waiters who would rather be snippy actors
- waiters who tell you their name, call themselves "servers," and expect a 25% tip
- waiting half an hour for a salad
- waiting twenty minutes for your check
- fussy, oily yuppie cuisine
- anything with pesto sauce
- "herbed" anything
- "fruited" anything
- anything with ingredients that require you to consult a glossary
- gated communities
- $600,000 yuppie homes on 1/4-acre lots
- yuppie parents jockeying to get their child into a prestigious nursery school
- the growing gap between haves and have-nots
- doctors marrying doctors
- lawyers marrying lawyers
- men marrying men
- computer geeks marrying computer geeks
- professional jargon: the Tower of Babel revisited
- the fact that people expect you to understand their jargon
- "newspeak"
- "groupthink"
- "Big Brother is watching you"
- totalitarianism
- mass movements
- mass media
- mass murder
- mass marketing
- telemarketing
- the pathetic scripts read by poor underpaid telemarketing agents
- saying "yes" so we don't hurt the poor underpaid telemarketing agent's feelings
- junk mail
- the time we spend sorting through junk mail
- the fact that junk mail is written by people who wanted to be writers
- "Urgent: Reply Requested!"
- "You may already have won!"
- "If you're the winner, we will say MR. OCCUPANT HAS WON $9,000,000.00!"
- "A special offer exclusively for Mr. Occupant"
- "No strings attached!"
- "FREE GIFT!"
- "FREE TRIAL OFFER!"
- televised trials
- medieval trials (if you drown, you're innocent; if you float, you're guilty)
- the irrelevance of the truth in all trials
- jury rigging
- plea bargaining
- murderers acquitted because their side had smarter lawyers
- innocent people sentenced because the OTHER side had smarter lawyers
- convicted murderers paroled after serving six months of a life sentence
- prisons that offer free education, VCRs, and complimentary mints on the pillows
- legal loopholes
- divorce settlements (both spouses lose; both lawyers win)
- lawsuits by people who spill coffee on themselves
- lawyers who encourage lawsuits by people who spill coffee on themselves
- the absurd amounts of money awarded to people who spill coffee on themselves
- the absurd amounts of money awarded to lawyers who prosecute lawsuits by people who spill coffee on themselves
- the cost of private medical care
- the tyranny of managed medical care
- the inefficiency of public medical care
- dying during a tonsillectomy
- the fact that your death will be referred to as a "negative patient healthcare outcome"
- health insurance companies that force hospitals to release patients as soon as the anesthesia wears off
- health insurance being denied to the people most likely to get sick
- health insurance as a capitalist enterprise
- health insurance that covers 80% of a $500,000 medical bill
- having a heart attack two days after your health insurance expires
- the effects of age and gravity on the human body
- shrinking from your original height
- going senile
- losing control of your bladder as a reward for reaching old age
- drugs whose side effects are worse than the disease
- cancer: opportunism incarnate
- dandruff
- gout
- flatulence
- herpes
- psoriasis
- Alzheimer's disease
- Tourette's syndrome
- St. Vitus' dance
- hemorrhoids
- chronic sinusitis
- yeast infections
- athlete's foot
- gum disease
- crotch rot
- mad cow disease
- elephantiasis
- crabs
- male-pattern baldness
- irritable bowel syndrome
- having to worry about your blood pressure and cholesterol
- the fact that worrying about your blood pressure and cholesterol will probably raise both of them
- the fact that virtually everything that tastes good can kill you
- subsisting on granola only to find that it contains more saturated fat than two Big Macs
- the wretchedness of heart-healthy diets (we are not RABBITS!)
- regaining more weight after a diet than you lost during it
- people who watch their fat intake and keel over at 47
- people who eat lard, smoke two packs a day, and live to be 97
- the likelihood that the survivors were also much HAPPIER during their long lives
- suspecting that you'll be more like #221 than #222
- the smugness of lucky people
- the smugness of high-school in-crowders
- the even worse smugness of art-world in-crowders
- the empty pretentiousness of most modern art
- performance artists: street loonies with foundation grants
- artists who gain attention by exhibiting their own bodily excretions
- artists who pass off collections of scrap metal as sculpture -- and have them deposited on idyllic college campuses
- artists who decorate an empty canvas with one horizontal stripe
- art critics who see profound meaning in an empty canvas with one horizontal stripe
- movie critics who give rave reviews to bad films so their names will appear in newspaper ads
- critics who call every passable film or play a "masterpiece"
- critics who trash a film, play or book for the chance to turn a clever phrase
- designated bestsellers stacked four feet high in the bookstore window
- good books going out of print because nobody knows about them
- nondescript chain bookstores driving out quirky independent bookstores
- celebrity authors who earn more for one ghostwritten book than 100 editors make in a year
- the state of publishing today
- the state of Nevada
- sleaze
- bogus fun
- bogus ANYTHING
- breast implants
- sex-change operations
- bad toupees
- good toupees
- blazing white dentures
- used-car dealers
- chain letters
- pyramid schemes
- people who refer to pyramid schemes as "multi-level marketing"
- euphemisms like "differently abled" and "mentally challenged"
- oxymorons like "military intelligence" and "corporate culture"
- "Catch-22" situations; e.g., "you can't get a job unless you already have a job"
- millionaire ballplayers who grumble about their salaries
- artificial turf, polyester uniforms, costumed mascots and other tackiness on the field
- team owners who fire managers for losing the World Series
- free agents who jump from team to team like hungry fleas
- boxers who bite off their opponents' ears or other body parts
- "great white hopes" = great white dopes
- college football teams made up of convicted felons
- pro football players who either strut ostentatiously or pray ostentatiously each time they score a touchdown
- female sports reporters allowed into men's locker rooms
- male sports reporters allowed into women's locker rooms (as if!)
- sports teams with singular names; e.g., the Utah Jazz
- sports teams with absurdly incongruous names; e.g., the Utah Jazz
- sports parents who browbeat their kids for screwing up on the field
- asinine chants of "We're #1!" (Americans always have to be #1)
- sports fanatics who live vicariously through their teams
- nerds who live vicariously through "Star Trek"
- anyone who lives vicariously through any soap opera
- celebrity worship
- wealth without taste
- taste without wealth
- shamelsss celebrity promotional vehicles like "Entertainment Tonight"
- John Tesh, shameless composer
- "Candle in the Wind"
- eulogies delivered by clergymen who didn't know the deceased
- how we forget good people after their deaths and remember Attila the Hun
- Gresham's Law: the bad drives out the good
- the worldwide triumph of cockroaches
- the worldwide triumph of rats
- the worldwide triumph of American popular culture
- absurd foreign imitations of American popular culture: Russian nightclubs, Czech rock groups, Japanese jazz bands, Turkish soap operas
- the profitability of bad taste
- the bad taste graveyard: disco, leisure suits, velvet clown paintings
- pinkie rings and gold chains on wealthy building contractors
- bad art in hotel/motel rooms
- the fact that those bad artists can afford to stay in hotels with GOOD art
- romance novels with Fabio on the cover
- Elvis and Princess Diana collectibles
- the fact that the majority of autographed sports collectibles are fakes
- the need to purchase separate shoes for walking, jogging, tennis and basketball
- selling advertising space on anything that doesn't move and some things that DO (buses, stock cars, Olympic athletes)
- people who sell cemetery plots or penny stocks over the phone
- ingenious high-pressure sales tactics that make us feel stupid if we say "no" and even stupider after we say "yes"
- buying things on sale: spending money to save money
- annual "going out of business" sales
- people who spend an hour clipping coupons so they can save 87 cents
- receiving Christmas catalogs in August
- discovering there's no Santa Claus
- the ugly, insanely popular, hard-to-obtain toys that parents must buy to appease their children
- the fact that parents NEED to appease their own children
- cheap toys with hundreds of dollars worth of accessories to buy
- toys merchandised as movie tie-ins
- the licensing of dead celebrities
- people who gain an identity by wearing t-shirts with commercial logos
- "As seen on TV!"
- the bewildering success of home shopping channels ("Who would ever watch nonstop commercials?," asked the cynic)
- infomercials for psychic hotlines, motivational tapes, exercise machines and baldness remedies
- people who have nothing better to do at night than watch infomercials
- people who promise they'll call but never do
- people who complain because you promised to call but never do
- people who ask "How are you?" but don't really want to know
- people who make you miserable
- the fact that you ALLOW people to make you miserable
- that luck is definitely a factor in getting what you want
- that you can make your own luck but nobody tells you how
- being unlucky in love
- being unlucky in the stock market
- stocks that plummet after you buy them
- stocks that go through the roof after you sell them
- having to pay your broker a commission on losing stocks
- the fact that your broker has no incentive to sell you WINNING stocks as long as you pay a commission on losing stocks
- the fact that the entire economy of the free world is in the hands of gamblers
- lotteries
- sweepstakes
- church bingo
- casinos
- Wall Street, the world's biggest casino
- that American Indians have to operate casinos to survive
- Las Vegas
- lounge acts
- Frank Sinatra after 1970
- pop music after 1970
- life after 1970
- striving
- giving up
- promises
- betrayals
- excuses
- prejudice against fat people
- prejudice against dark-skinned people
- prejudice against excessively stupid and excessively intelligent people
- prejudice against people with big noses
- prejudice against ugly women
- prejudice against gentle men
- "all men are created equal"
- "the pursuit of happiness"
- chronic disappointment
- expecting rewards in the hereafter
- the apparent indifference of God
- the possibility that God is a myth
- the possibility that God is a crank
- the possibility that God is a jokester
- the prevalence of unbelieving theologians: NOT a good sign
- the perverse intelligence of inanimate objects that roll just out of reach
- boxtops that tear as you open them
- paper grocery bags that tear when they're full of glass jars
- toilet paper that tears as you use it
- price labels that won't come off without tearing the product
- plastic bags you have to open with your teeth
- "twist-off" bottlecaps that rip your fingers
- VCRs so complicated that you need an engineering degree to program them
- 500 channels and nothing you want to watch
- electronic gadgets that come with incoherent instructions written by well- intentioned Asians
- major appliances that break down two days after the warranty expires
- traffic lights that are programmed to turn red as soon as you arrive from the previous red light
- picking the shortest line at a toll booth or supermarket checkout -- and watching the others pass you by
- playing by the rules and watching the outlaws pass you by
- man's treachery toward his fellow-creatures
- raising and nurturing good-natured cows, pigs and chickens so they can become DINNER
- killing rhinos for their horns
- killing elephants for their tusks
- killing baby seals for their fur
- killing employees for their productivity
- the National Rifle Association
- the fact that it's easier in the U.S. to obtain handguns than Cuban cigars
- the oil cartel
- U.S. alliances and wars motivated by the sweet smell of oil
- the tobacco industry profiting from the slow suicides of smokers
- people who start smoking to be cool, then sue tobacco companies when they develop lung cancer
- the fact that tobacco ever caught on in the first place ("Why would anyone stick burning leaves in his mouth?," asked the cynic)
- the fact that tobacco is more profitable than book publishing
- the fact that nearly ANY industry is more profitable than book publishing
- exploitation of resources, including human resources
- the term "human resources" (we are not BAUXITE!)
- billion-dollar sportswear companies that profit from exploiting child labor
- clear-cutting the rainforests to make room for McDonald's beef cattle
- excessive hysteria over snail darters and northern spotted owls
- insufficient hysteria over the approaching extinction of tigers, pandas, gorillas and other first-rate mammals
- Greenpeace (skip the '60s poetics -- just tell us what you do)
- war
- Pentagon spending habits; e.g., $640 toilet seats and $76 screws
- the contractors who charge $640 per toilet seat and $76 per screw
- being drafted
- boot camp: sadomasochism as a character-builder
- being expected to die for a country you can't locate on a map
- bombing the wrong village
- being killed by "friendly fire"
- being killed one day before the truce is signed
- being hit by a bus one day after returning to civilian life
- the raunchy brutality of urban life
- drug pushers
- street gangs
- rapists
- carjackers
- slumlords
- racketeers
- panhandlers
- muggers who shoot you for a cigarette or a pair of sneakers
- welfare mothers raising FUTURE welfare mothers
- welfare fathers who sire six children by six different women
- ghetto dwellers blaming their problems on racism
- middle-class blacks encountering REAL racism when they move out of the ghetto
- the fact that most stereotypes contain a grain of truth that keeps them alive: emotional Italians; smart, aggressive Jews; hot-blooded Latins; beguiling, hard-drinking Irish; disciplined, regimented Germans and Japanese; inbred rednecks
- not being allowed to say that blacks have rhythm or superior athletic skill -- despite all the compelling evidence in their favor
- not being allowed to talk about Jewish cultural influence -- despite the likelihood that the 20th century will be remembered as a Jewish Renaissance
- the fact that Jewish sensitivities may have been conditioned by 2000 years of nonstop anti-Semitism
- "Some of my best friends are [fill in the blank]"
- the fact that every oppressed minority group likes to think it suffered more than every other oppressed minority group
- Holocaust museums, AIDS quilts and other public statements of victimhood
- the fact that we still NEED Holocaust museums, AIDS quilts and other public statements of victimhood
- symbolic protests with live people masquerading as dead bodies
- demands of amnesty by whining political agitators (if you don't want to be arrested, don't commit a crime)
- '60s radicals who used the Vietnam War as an excuse to promote Marxism
- '60s radicals who became Wall Street tycoons
- '60s radicals who still wear tie-dyed shirts and sandals
- liberals whose friends are exclusively upper-middle class
- conservatives whose friends are exclusively upper-middle class
- capitalism
- communism
- socialism
- fascism
- commericialism
- terrorism
- male chauvinism
- female chauvinism
- plagiarism
- optimism
- Freudianism
- psychoanalysts who keep their patients coming back for 20 years
- patients who still hope for a cure after being psychoanalyzed for 20 years
- group therapy: a less expensive cure that doesn't work
- electroshock therapy: a quicker cure that doesn't work
- finally going crazy
- psychiatrists who are crazier than their patients
- finding happiness only after getting a lobotomy
- being labeled a "former mental patient" for life
- "sensitivity" training and other forms of brainwashing
- psychobabble: the standardization of introspection
- codependency and other pop-psychology concepts designed to sell books
- the fact that there wouldn't be so many self-help books if any of them worked
- anyone associated with the O.J. Simpson trial who wrote a book
- O.J. Simpson
- 20-year-old Hollywood starlets who form their own production companies
- Hollywood agents of any age
- the "A" list for Hollywood parties
- the people who decide who's on the "A" list
- Hollywood movies after "Star Wars"
- blockbusters
- sequels to blockbusters
- bad movies based on old TV shows
- the fact that those bad movies become blockbusters anyway
- Julia Roberts, highest-paid film actress of all time
- The fact that the highest-paid actress used to be Demi Moore until Julia Roberts replaced her
- the fact that it would take the average U.S. worker more than six centuries to earn what the top male stars receive for one film
- the fact that Michael Ovitz received five times that much when he was fired from Disney
- the fact that Michael Eisner received more than five times as much as Ovitz in ONE DAY, when he cashed in his Disney stock options
- the symbolism of Pia Zadora buying and demolishing Pickfair, once the grandest mansion in Beverly Hills
- overreliance on special effects in mainstream Hollywood films
- too much @$&#*!% profanity in mainstream Hollywood films
- knee-jerk contempt for religion in mainstream Hollywood films
- knee-jerk contempt for Hollywood by the religious right
- films that depict Jesus as a blue-eyed Nordic
- "To him that hath, more shall be given"
- the old-boy network
- the tendency of high-school in-crowders to become adult in-crowders
- being snubbed by the in-crowd because of your looks, clothes, taste in music, or weird family
- being snubbed by a friend in the presence of in-crowders
- teachers who embarrass you in front of the entire class
- students who embarrass teachers in front of the entire class
- homework in every subject
- teachers' pets
- the worship of student athletes (except in cross-country, wrestling, golf and fencing)
- cheerleaders
- the importance of being selected as a cheerleader
- parents who murder cheerleaders who were selected over their own kids
- wanting to be considered cool: the root of all teenage vices
- the inexplicable vogue for multiple pierced body parts, including tongues
- peer pressure (ask any lemming)
- being taunted for being virtuous
- having to worry that you're gay if you're still a virgin at 18
- having to think your entire future will be determined by your college board scores
- being rejected by your #1 college
- being rejected by your #2 college
- being rejected by every college except your "safety" school
- being rejected by your "safety" school
- going to your #1 college -- and hating it
- bickering with the college administration
- crass college students who major in merchandising or finance
- idealistic college students who major in history, philosophy or French (turn back before the world devours you!)
- being stuck with a roommate from hell
- the hell you have to go through to pledge a fraternity
- fraternities in general
- sororities in general
- fraternity boys who become top executives
- private university graduates who look down on state university graduates
- state university graduates who look down on state college graduates
- state college graduates who look down on community college graduates
- high school dropouts who earn more than all of them
- mom-and-pop businesses driven out by shopping malls
- mom-and-pop businesses driven out by designer boutiques and tattoo parlors
- what it takes to succeed
- motivational seminars that promise easy success
- the fact that the easiest way to succeed is to give motivational seminars
- consulting: the art of succeeding while unemployed
- the success of writers and artists who sell out
- the wretchedness of writers and artists who don't
- tenure for scholars: freedom to be mediocre
- being denied tenure
- semiotics, deconstructionism, and similar vehicles for academic obfuscation
- Afrocentrism (sorry, the Egyptians weren't black)
- Women's Studies (sorry, women aren't an ethnic group)
- the shameful exclusion of non-Western cultures from old history textbooks
- the overemphasis on non-Western cultures in current textbooks
- the term "Third World" ("How come we never hear about the First and Second Worlds?," asked the cynic)
- Montezuma's revenge
- what the Spaniards did to Montezuma
- trying to convert the heathens
- selling refrigerators to Eskimos
- having to call Eskimos "Inuit"
- having to call Burma "Myanmar"
- having to call Dave Barry "America's favorite humorist"
- the fact that Tom Cruise is more famous than John Adams or Charlemagne
- the fact that MTV is more famous than the 3,000-year-old nation of Armenia
- Planet Hollywood
- the Hard Rock Cafe
- gawking tourists who wear Hard Rock Cafe t-shirts
- paparazzi
- supermarket tabloids
- people who buy tabloids and complain about paparazzi
- Calvin Klein ads (what exactly are we selling here?)
- reading about the triumphs of the shallow in "People" magazine
- the term "beautiful people" used without irony
- chic: the triumph of style over substance
- 55-year-old celebrities who try to look 30
- cosmetic surgery
- Michael Jackson, self-made alien
- Michael Jackson's marriages
- Michael Jackson's peculiar friendship with Elizabeth Taylor
- Elizabeth Taylor's marriages
- the publicity uses of entering the Betty Ford Clinic
- alcoholism as a "disease"
- gambling as a "disease"
- AIDS as a "civil rights issue"
- the sad last days of discarded celebrities
- tabloids that exploit the sad last days of discarded celebrities
- the woes of former child stars
- the warped ambitions of stage parents
- the futile ambitions of would-be writers
- the fact that nobody reads literature anymore
- the fact that Walt Disney World is the biggest single tourist attraction in the U.S.
- the disappearance of classical music radio stations
- the perplexing success of the ugliest pop music
- the inevitable triumph of energy over refinement
- the fact that cultured men today are predominantly gay
- the fact that heterosexual men today are predominantly uncultured
- the fact that single men have to feel suspect if they're cultured
- men who regard women as sex toys
- smart middle-aged women who regard uneducated young men as sex toys
- middle-aged alpha males with trophy wives
- women who praise sensitive men but fall for alpha males
- men who demand that their women look like Barbie
- women who demand that their men be "financially secure"
- crude, lascivious men who leer at women, make jokes about breasts, etc., etc.
- hip, contemporary women who leer at men, make jokes about penises, etc., etc.
- the comical ineptness of intellectual men in the real world
- the shrill fascism of intellectual feminists who denounce our rigid "phallocentric" institutions, like grammar, sex and rocket science
- the condescension of older businessmen toward the "little ladies"
- women who characterize flirtation as sexual harassment
- men who characterize sexual harassment as flirtation
- the male double standard: it's OK for men (but not women) to fool around
- female double standards: it's OK for women (but not men) to bash the opposite sex, have their own colleges and clubs, whine, let their spouses support them, etc., etc.
- the fact that everything ultimately boils down to sex
- the fact that sex fuels the egos of people whose egos don't need fueling
- kinky sex (isn't "normal" sex kinky enough?)
- impotence: nature's way of telling a man he doesn't deserve to get lucky
- faked orgasms: woman's way of telling a man he's luckier than he deserves to be
- potential lovers who tell you about the "great sex" they had with a previous lover
- current lovers who are having "great sex" with somebody else but don't tell you about it
- current lovers who are having "great sex" with somebody else and DO tell you about it
- the inventiveness of women's excuses for saying no
- the inventiveness of men's arguments for persuading a woman to say yes
- sexual starvation
- watching people who are dorkier than you get all the sex they want
- having to practice safe sex
- having to practice salesmanship to get sex
- the depth of conversations at singles bars
- the depth of conversations in online chat rooms
- the depth of conversations in most marriages
- spats
- replays of the same spats
- breaking up after making up
- being dumped by someone you love
- being dumped for your best friend
- being dumped for your mate's best friend
- being dumped as part of your mate's latest career move
- "Can't we just be friends?"
- watching your ex-mate get lucky while your heart is still broken
- searching for new mate so you have another chance to experience all of the above
- the lamentable decline of romance
- the unlamented demise of Western Civilization
- the survival of tuberculosis bacilli and political parties
- big government: a charity funded by legalized extortion
- taxation without representation
- taxation WITH representation
- representative government masquerading as democracy
- Washington insiders
- dinner parties for Washington insiders
- buying an ambassadorship
- foreign ambassadors with 137 parking tickets who claim diplomatic immunity
- backslappers and palm-greasers
- congressmen who sell out to lobbyists
- presidents who sell out to lobbyists
- lobbyists
- political cronies appointed to high office
- the politicians who appoint the appointees
- political scandals
- cover-ups of scandals
- press coverage of cover-ups of scandals
- the blindness of the press toward JFK's scandals
- the bloodlust of the press in covering Nixon's one scandal
- candidates for the U.S. presidency since 1960
- candidates for local office in every era
- selling favors for campaign contributions: political prostitution
- making impossible campaign promises: political courtship
- committing impeachable offenses: political adultery
- being impeached: political divorce proceedings
- photo opportunities and sound bites
- spin doctors
- mudslinging as a viable campaign strategy
- pollsters' and psychics' predictions
- corporate earnings forecasts
- investors who bail out of a company because it earned $1.24 per share instead of $1.26 per share
- companies that downsize because they earned $1.24 per share instead of $1.26 per share
- the stock market soaring on news of higher unemployment
- going on unemployment yourself
- mortgages and other long-term, life-sapping obligations, like marriage
- divorce
- having to pay alimony and child support
- not receiving alimony and child support
- staying single because you think the other option is even worse
- having to think of yourself as "unfit" if you don't propagate your genes
- looking at some of the people who DO propagate their genes
- watching a billion years of evolution sputter out when you die childless
- knowing that all your knowledge and experiences will evaporate when you die
- being dead
- being embalmed
- being displayed at an open-casket funeral
- decomposition
- eternal damnation
- heaven
- purgatory ("What's the point?," asked the cynic. "We've already been there.")
- reincarnation (damned if I'm taking calculus again!)
- past-life regression therapy
- aromatherapy
- foot reflexology
- chakras
- auras
- spirit channeling
- energy vortexes
- good karma and bad karma
- gurus
- false idols
- pop idols
- the artist formerly known as Prince
- the company still known as Microsoft
- monopolies
- landing on Boardwalk with a hotel on it
- not passing "GO"
- not winning
- not even breaking even
- the fact that virtue is rarely rewarded
- that the rewards usually go to the wrong people
- that good things don't last
- that bad things never go away
- that nothing you do in this life will matter 10,000 years from now
- that nothing you do in this life will matter 10 years from now
- that nearly everything you do is dictated by your genes
- that you'll never have enough time to do everything you want
- that everything declines eventually, including you
- the decline of language
- the decline of art
- the decline of decency
- puritanism: lusting to prevent others from lusting
- searching for happiness
- searching for kindred spirits
- searching for love
- searching for self-esteem
- searching for the meaning of life
- searching for a flashlight with live batteries
- searching for answers
- never finding the answers
- not wanting to find the answers
- realizing that the answers will always elude you if you search for them
- knowing that you're still clueless after all these years
- realizing that all the wise men, philosophers and self-help authors were clueless, too
- knowing that the world is going to fall apart eventually
- not caring if the world falls apart
- "whatever"
© 1997-2001 by Rick Bayan.
|
|
|
oh my gosh, Cynical, you and I must have had the same boss - sm
She told me a monkey could do my job. Needless to say, that two and a half monkeys are now doing the job with fewer docs and fewer patients. When I had that job, I ALONE WORKED 40 HOURS for 5 physicians, 3 midwives, and did some other odds and ends pertaining to my job. I was told a monkey could do my job.
The practice has gotten much smaller, fewer clinicians, and the job that I once held alone is now being done by 2-1/2 people. Go figure!!
You wouldn't believe the excuses we hear, so I think it makes us cynical even when sm
we don't want to be. We have had MTs lie about their mothers dying, husbands dying, even had two that had relatives notify that they themselves had died, all of which were not true.
We get told that someone was in an accident (find out later it was a lie), told that someone's dog had to be put to sleep (felt bad but found out they never had a dog), even told that their father died. She forgot that she used that one the previous year too.
We have had heard about severe storms with power outages when the MT did not know that another MT lives 2 blocks away and told us of sunshine when we asked how she was working through the storm.
We have been told that someone's husband was being deployed, when the truth is that he was not even in the service.
We have been told that an MT's husband beat her up and that she was at the ER right at that moment, but caller ID said that she was calling from home. When questioned, she explained about the "glitch" with caller ID being mixed up IN THE ENTIRE CITY OF SEATTLE.
See what we mean?
Sounds like you are SM
working for one of the few remaining good companies. Wouldn't it be wonderful if they all at least made an effort to even out the work? When you factor in VR and the number of newbees that some companies hire, who just don't have the experience to do the difficult dictators, that makes a sorry life for those who do have the experience and can do it. Which is why I say if "anyone" isn't happy with what they are doing, then they should look for a company that recognizes their MTs as human beings. I think part of the problem is that the bigger companies are run by "suits" who don't have a clue about actual medical transcription, all they see is the bottom line and any way to make that bottom liine bigger is fine and dandy with them. I even heard one of those "suits" say once that it didn't matter if all their MTs quit, they were just typists and the manager could just go out and hire some more.
Sounds like you have too much going on. Take
things in little bits. (Un)pack/clean for 15 minutes and then work for a bit. Set a realistic goal to work - say an hour that you can make yourself work, then get up and (un)pack/clean, do laundry, etc. and then come back and work. If you can afford to work a few less hours do it. It will give you time to complete the move and give you a break from work.
We are remodeling/redecorating and our house is total chaos. Some days I can jump right in and get something accomplished and other times I put on blinders and just ignore it all. Some days I dig right into work and knock out my lines, other days I'm on-line more than working.
Take a break, get refocused, and then try out different routines. I think we all go through burnout at least once a year and sometimes it takes a bit to get refocused.
Sounds about right
x
Thanks, sounds like just what I need.
It isn't that I can't afford either, just concerned that I don't want a 2 year process, because I need to start living now.
I don't need to know particulars, but just wondered how far back your trauma went? Mine is pretty much a lifetime of traumatic events, but I think most of my issues date back to when I was 5.
sounds like
Pfannenstiel scar
now this sounds better..
nm
Sounds like...
We need to take what THEY say with a huge chunk of something, and it sure ain't salt! Talk about "The Stepford Transcriptionists." Sheesh. Thanx for ur input - it was driving me nuts!
sounds like there
may have been a problem with their server. Try it one more time. If you get the same error page, click the 'refresh' key at the top of your screen to see if this brings the page up. If it doesn't, you should call someone.
Sounds like MDI
Who do you work for - -if you don't mind saying.
Sounds like what I'm looking for.....
Thanks so much for the replies!
Sounds like my son. sm
My son had an economics project in junior high school. The class was split into groups. Each group was given $75.00 in cash and told to come up with something to make their money back. If they made any profit, it was theirs to keep and split.
My son went through all of the grocery store flyers until he found cans of Pepsi on sale. Then he called all of the pizza places to see if he could get a buy 1 get 1 free special. They bought a bunch of pizza and a bunch of Pepsi, set up a table at lunchtime, and sold the pizza for $1.25 a slice and the cans of soda for $1.00 a can. They doubled the money, gave the original $75.00 back and split the rest.
Right now my son works in food services at a nursing home. I'm surprised he doesn't charge the residents for delivering their dinners.
Must be. Sounds just like them
nm
Sounds like PMC to me...
Sounds like they set you up to
No one can be 100%... 98.8 should be congratulated (IMO) Drs. make mistakes in dictating even.. they aren't 100%.
This sounds like an ad to me.
nn
Actually, it sounds like the old one is
nm
This sounds about right!
A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.
A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had eight people rowing and one person steering, while the American team had eight people steering and one person rowing.
So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to four steering supervisors, three area steering superintendents and one assistant superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the one person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program", with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower.
There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles and cancelled all capital investments for new equipment.
The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses, and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
Sounds like she does not know what she is doing.
Maybe your company does not pay much for QA or have high criteria
It sounds like......sm
It sounds like they are basing this on income only, not income and output (her bills). She should talk with the folks at Social Service as they can probaby negotiate a better deal for her, either there or somewhere else.
Good luck! :)
sounds like....
the other poster's Stedman's and mine conflict a little. Mine is:
Stedman's Orthopaedic & Rehab Words, Third Edition (1999) so her's may be more up-to-date.
So, share with us what you said and what QA said. I'm curious!!!!
Sounds like my ex also.....sm
very abusive...mine wasn't that controlling, but he was disrespectful to me and did lots of things to hurt and humiliate me, to the point of double dating behind my back with his oldest daughter and her boyfriend, and on our anniversary to boot. I am out of that mess, met a much nicer guy who is secure with himself and am happier because of it.
Sounds like you seriously need to consider the
How do I know if I am in an abusive relationship? What are the signs and symptoms of an abusive relationship?
The more of the following questions that you answer Yes to, the more likely you are in an abusive relationship. Examine your answers and seek help if you find that you respond positively to a large number of the questions.
Your inner feelings and dialogue: Fear, self-loathing, numbness, desperation
* Are you fearful of your partner a large percentage of the time?
* Do you avoid certain topics or spend a lot of time figuring out how to talk about certain topics so that you do not arouse your partner’s negative reaction or anger?
* Do you ever feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
* Do you ever feel so badly about yourself that you think you deserve to be physically hurt?
* Have you lost the love and respect that you once had for your partner?
* Do you sometimes wonder if you are the one who is crazy, that maybe you are overreacting to your partner’s behaviors?
* Do you sometimes fantasize about ways to kill your partner to get them out of your life?
* Are you afraid that your partner may try to kill you?
* Are you afraid that your partner will try to take your children away from you?
* Do you feel that there is nowhere to turn for help?
* Are you feeling emotionally numb?
* Were you abused as a child, or did you grow up with domestic violence in the household? Does domestic violence seem normal to you?
Your partner’s lack of control over their own behavior
* Does your partner have low self-esteem? Do they appear to feel powerless, ineffective, or inadequate in the world, although they are outwardly successful?
* Does your partner externalize the causes of their own behavior? Do they blame their violence on stress, alcohol, or a “bad day”?
* Is your partner unpredictable?
* Is your partner a pleasant person between bouts of violence?
Your partner’s violent or threatening behavior
* Does your partner have a bad temper?
* Has your partner ever threatened to hurt you or kill you?
* Has your partner ever physically hurt you?
* Has your partner threatened to take your children away from you, especially if you try to leave the relationship?
* Has your partner ever threatened to commit suicide, especially as a way of keeping you from leaving?
* Has your partner ever forced you to have sex when you didn’t want to?
* Has your partner threatened you at work, either in person or on the phone?
* Is your partner cruel to animals?
* Does your partner destroy your belongings or household objects?
Your partner’s controlling behavior
* Does your partner try to keep you from seeing your friends or family?
* Are you embarrassed to invite friends or family over to your house because of your partner’s behavior?
* Has your partner limited your access to money, the telephone, or the car?
* Does your partner try to stop you from going where you want to go outside of the house, or from doing what you want to do?
* Is your partner jealous and possessive, asking where you are going and where you have been, as if checking up on you? Do they accuse you of having an affair?
Your partner’s diminishment of you
* Does your partner verbally abuse you?
* Does your partner humiliate or criticize you in front of others?
* Does your partner often ignore you or put down your opinions or contributions?
* Does your partner always insist that they are right, even when they are clearly wrong?
* Does your partner blame you for their own violent behavior, saying that your behavior or attitudes cause them to be violent?
* Is your partner often outwardly angry with you?
* Does your partner objectify and disrespect those of your gender? Does your partner see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
This sounds like a little boy to me *S*....not fun (sm)
Sounds like my dad, X, and I would not put up with that s**t for long. Blessings to you.
That sounds like what I was having. sm
It is from sitting too long in one position. I am working now on daily exercise on a treadmill to keep the deconditioning and to promote circulation.
I also found that if I keep my bed at an incline like they suggest for obstructive sleep apnea, that this helps quite a bit.
It also helps to do calf stretches before you go to bed and application of Ben-Gay has helped me in the past, too.
Massage the knots out until the muscle is back smooth when they occur. This will hurt a bit, but it helps in the long run.
The above is not a quick fix, but it certainly helps.
This sounds like the same -
company I work for. What are the initials of the company? I may be able to help you.
It sounds like you may
have some issues with depression and/or anxiety. Maybe too much isolation? Maybe you should speak to your doctor. I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm being serious. If the very simple act of people laughing makes you tense up, that is a serious problem.
I will have to try that - sounds like fun. nm
x
Sounds like....
you've become a clone of Dr. Phil
sounds like there's a lot you don't know...
sounds to me like you are going off half-cocked.
sounds just like.....dum da dum dum....nm
sounds to me like
someone with some serious personality issues.
Sounds like you are
handling the situation well. I'm glad your hubby told his friend to LEAVE HIM OUT OF IT! Good move.
I have to say, I think I would be tempted to anonymously let *wife* know she needs to check up on her poor-excuse-for-a-husband. Hmmmmmmmmm. Anyone could have seen the guy leave the bar in that chicks car. Probably less stress to stay out of it, but knowing about it would probably eat away at me. That is just wrong.
Sounds to me like something is going
on. Hard to believe they don't have the money to pay you. Even harder to believe they really want work held on to that long. It sounds like she might be trying to ease you out without have to say the words. If you are happy with the job, hang in there. But, I would look for something else just in case. Maybe in the time it takes for something to happen you can have some pretty good leads on good jobs.
GOOD LUCK
Okay! Sounds like fun!
I'll bring the Margaritas!
Sounds low to me...
At 6 cents per line, if you transcribed 200 lines per hour, which is unlikely if you are a new MT, you'd make $12 an hour. When I first began MT, I was only doing 100 LPH for quite a while, which meant at this rate I would have only made $6.00 an hour!
How fast do you transcribe?
That sounds right..
I have my "business" name, just never did anything but buy the domain name. :-) Thank you! I'll be checking come Monday.
Sounds as if...
You are working on VR. The pay can be the $1000 you want every 2 weeks. I worked VR and made even less than what you are making now per line, 40 hour week, had the speed as fast as I could make it and if you are extremely fast, able to make that amount on a 40 hour week basis, been there, done that.
it sounds like... SM
If you are typing and nothing is showing up, then your "window" is not active. On your system and/or your version of Word I dont know just why that might happen, but something else on your computer probably becomes "active" and deactives the Word window.
Do you have other programs running? Maybe in "background?" Can you disable or "quit" those?
Other than that, my PC at work will do this to me too when Word does "autosave" of the current document and the normal template. However, it does alert me by popping up a dialog box and it is never 2-3 sentences.
not much help, I'm sure...hope you can find out!
Sounds like--sm
you still may have the virus, or it already did some damage before it was caught. This is why I don't like Norton's. They are a good program but they consistently miss things. I use PC-Cillin by Trend Micro. If you go to their website, they have a free scanner called Housecall, I believe. I think it will find it for you and remove it. If that does not work, and you care to spend a small amount of money, $30, I believe, get Spyware Doctor through PC Tools. It is a very good program and consistently finds things that the regular antivirus programs do not. You have to renew once a year, but that is only $20, I think. Another good program is CrapCleaner. It is free to download and run. There are two areas to scan..applications and issues. run them both. This will really clean out your history, cookies, etc. I use it weekly. Registry Mechanic is also good, at $30, as it cleans out stuff from your registry. I have all of these programs, as I have learned that one virus scanner is not enough, especially Norton's. I am not knocking them. I used them for six years, but found they did not find or completely remove everything. In this business, we have to protect our computers to the highest extent, and I just did not feel that Norton's was good enough. JMO and good luck.
Sounds very low to me. I would never
accept a setup like that. It would have to be a flat rate per hour with me. That flat rate would have to be averaged with the two jobs that I do, the QA and the training. I would offer to o it for no less than $25 an hour and probably closer to $30 particularly if it is an IC position.
Sounds like you were right where I am now.
I think I might take the plunge, after the new year. I'll be looking for deductions then. :-)
Thanks for your reply.
sounds like YOU are
sticking up for the foreigners, just what WE NEED! I am skilled and qualified, but I, like everyone else NEEDS to ACTUALLY MAKE a living with the prices of EVERYTHING out there being SKY-HIGH! I do not make ANY benefits, but I do make a very decent wage, but that is the ONLY way for anyone to make it in this country, anymore! So take your laptop with YOU - I just work my 40 hours. I have another life, also, not just ALL WORK.
It sounds like so much fun (sm)
LOL - I know, I'd love to see Richard Simmons too! It's a thought at this point in time, but I know I would enjoy it. Putting faces with people we've been in contact with through the years would be worth a million. Have fun!
Well it sounds like you should be
It actually sounds like you should be one of the CEOs. Please, come down off of your high horse. I have way more years of education and didn't find the need to attend college to become an MT. I have 18 years of experience, and even if I was doing QA, I would have to have more patience. I actually have my own accounts and the doctors have nothing bad to say. My work doesn't need QA as I am the QA. This is not to say I do not make a mistake now and again. To err is human. I certainly would not go on a message board and act greater than thou. If you were an MT for 13 years, I am sure you had your fair share of leaving blanks. Don't forget that we were only limited to reference books for a long time. There was no such thing as Google. A lot of these MTs you QA are probably fresh out of school or else they wouldn't be working for a national for such low rates. A lot of MTs with the experience and education you speak of do have their own accounts or own their own MTSOs. I've seen a lot mistakes, errors, and all kinds of things of this same sort you and the other posters speak of, and these kinds of mistakes are made by physicians who have a heck of lot more education than you or I. So please, have some faith in humanity.
Another thing, none of us know working for these national companies if we are working for any of the ones that offshore or QA for an offshore MT. You only hear about it on this message board or maybe if the company has it on their website. None of us are in the back pockets of these nationals every minute of the day. All companies have other interests especially foreign ones. JMO.
That sounds
a
Sounds to me like they set you up
Maybe they were told to reduce personnel or they are starting to outsource overseas.
Don't give up. Not all employers are like that. And even seasoned transcriptionists have doctors they have difficulty with. One of the most difficult-to-understand doctors I have transcribed for was Irish.
Sounds like you are doing everything right to me- sm
I actually put a small windchime on our door from the garage (it has a small hook on it), so whenever anyone comes in, and I can hear that someone came in the door even though I have head phones on. If I don't think it is my DH/kids I can always look out the front and see who it is; if it is not family/friend, I can bold out the slider in the bedroom if necessary. Its nice to have, my primitive alarm system. I try to teach our two kids not to open doors, etc. but they are still learning. We are rural too, but have relatively close neighbors but I still lock all the doors, etc. during the day when I am home alone and at night. First thing we did when we moved in here was put key deadbolts on all the doors. We have little or no crime here too, but every now and then a home invasion happens, but 9/10 the people being robbed have large amounts of cash in their house (we don't) and the word got out via friends, whoever, and they get robbed. So it is definitely not the norm; as well as very, very few robberies. But never say never, right. Your DH is right about the locked door, but he doesn't realize it buys you time to get out, if someone gets in because you can hear them banging the door down. If they just walk in quietly you are dead meat basically and at their mercy, not a good position to be in. Stay Safe!
|