I did not work as a teen as my parents would not let me - sm
Posted By: Laura E. on 2006-07-12
In Reply to: What are your thoughts on - teens working? sm
I did look for work though and tried to get work locally (i.e. walk or ride bike) but there was not much around us and the 2 positions I tried for I did not get unfortunately. My mom refused to drive me anywhere (driven out by my 2 older brothers so I suffered), I bummed rides everywhere or rode my bike, but my 3 best friends either had a car or had one available to them so I got around okay, but was not allowed to work (only 1 of my friends worked but that was only because her father had a business he ran out of the house). So I tried to earn money where I could but it was few are far between, dog sitting, cutting neighbor's grass on a regular basis for $10 a pop every 2 weeks, the odd babysitting job (not a lot of little kids where I lived at the time), think I made about $25 a month in the summer months. I wish they had let me work while I was in school. I did work after I graduated though, my summer job (warehouse/front office gopher where my mom worked) before college was my supply money for college, and I work a few PT jobs during school as well, probably $50 a week but it helped. But YES teenagers should be allowed to work as long as their grades are good. We plan to have our 2 work at King's Dominion once they are old enough (only 14 miles away) for summer jobs, I might too, who knows!
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Not all of us are parents. Not everyone had caring parents. nm,
nm
TEEN PROBLEMS
I wish I had all boys! How do you deal with a teenage girl who continues to lie about everything. Sweet in your face one minute and the next thing you know it is all a lie. It is so devastating every time it happens. It breaks my heart. We have even tried counseling. This is a girl who has everything going for her. She's beautiful, talented beautiful voice (college scholarships), athletic and top student. She draws trashy boys like flies and tries to hide the relationship from us because she knows we will disapprove. Daddy teaches at the same high school so it is hard on them both. Him, because what she does reflects on him and the little respect he gets from his students and her, because I know it has to be hard having Daddy around all the time. But she has not earned our trust. There has been one incident after another for four years (She is a junior in high school). Just when we begin to trust just a little, we find something else. Last night while we were at a meeting, she had a "boyfriend" whom we do not approve of, come to our house. How she got her little brother to keep quiet I don't know but I will find out. (He is the worst secret keeper.)
My husband and I are struggling financially to provide the things she needs to further her talent and school activities and functions. The latest is giving up things we usually do for Christmas to buy her a used vehicle. Now, after this latest stunt I can't justify it or trust her enough to let her get into to go anywhere.
Thanks for letting me vent. Anyone have any advice?
teen problems
i could have written this post myself. at least we have seen the boyfriend, still do not like him. if you talk to any parent of teenage girls this post could have been written by anybody. wish i had all boys also.
To Tia on teen problems
I'm not sure why you think boys are easier. I have both and they all try to pull the same stunts.
Most are doing great but one in particular (a boy) could just as easily have been your daughter. Lie, lie, lie and he acts like we have stupid written on our foreheads or were never teens.
With the last "minor" accident, but the 4th one, the car is locked up tight and Lord, you'd think we were depriving him of food and water. Thank God he has never hurt anyone or himself but when you already have restrictions, (no use of cell phone, no more than 1 kid and only a sibling in the car)...well...you just can't justify letting your girlfriend drive the car home because you were feeling "kinda dizzy" ........He just does not get the drift of the need to call home for any reason that he can not handle, and especially if your "kinda dizzy" 56 miles from home when you were supposed to be right around the block ...
He's sulking, trying to make our lives miserable, disrupting the rest of the household, but I've now put a chart up and for every act of defiance, whining etc, another week gets added to the lack of wheels... took him a couple of hours and 4 more weeks tacked on to realize I mean business.
Christmas vacation is coming up and guess who will be w/o wheels during it
You have to realize that your not her friend and the decisions you make now on your expectations and her inability to follow them needs to be cleared up. Hang in there, they do eventually grow out of this stage...only to head into another one.
I have a teen son with acne, not bad and
not cystic. We've been to the dermatologist twice without success. He now uses a generic (Wal-Mart) version of Proactiv and it isn't 100%, but lots better. Accutane can cause you to be suicidal and to me the risks just are too great versus any possible benefit.
The blackheads can be handled with good hand washing, keep his hands off his face, washing his hair daily if it is oily like my son's, and washing his wash a couple of times a day. The white heads could be handled with a soft puffing, like those disposable pads that are on the market. There are antibiotics that might be helpful. There are lots of OTC products that might be a little pricey, but I would exhaust every possible option before trying Accutane. We have a local oral/maxillofacial surgeon that has a clinician in his office to help with skin problems and they sell products that are not prescription. I can't remember the name, but do a goggle search for acne products.
I worked as a teen..
and I think it's a good experience. My dad didn't want me to work, but I insisted because I wanted my own money.
Well, I never worked as a teen (more)
and I had next to no responsibilies, had a new car and a checking account that was always just magically filled with money. It was a huge disservice to me. No teen is going to turn down a life like that...they just don't know any better, but my life would have been much easier had I learned responsibility as a kid rather than struggling to do that as an adult.
My parents are wonderful people and did what they thought was best. I just wish they would have been a little "meaner."
I worked as a housekeeper as a teen.
It paid maybe $.20 more than minimum wage. I think you can make more than that as an MT, don't you? You just haven't found your fit yet. If housekeeping is something you really want to do, go for it. It was a really nasty job, though. I'd rather do transcription at home than clean up after a bunch of slobs. Oh, disgusting. And the things people would leave behind in their rooms.
Unless he is being interviewed by another teen (probably not), shorts are NOT appropriate. What is
x
I'm not "afraid" of Halloween, but I was never into it, either, except when a pre-teen. Jus
s
I hired a neighborhood teen (sm)
I had my children at home, and hired a responsible neighborhood teenager. I worked part-time during the day with the sitter and then a couple of hours in the evenings when my husband got home. This was much cheaper than day care plus I got to take breaks and see my child and if my children skinned a knee or were really upset, I could take a break and take care ofYou need a backup in case the sitter is unavailable. It worked really well for me. Even better if you know another mom nearby with a child your chid could play with. Don't be fooled though - it is challenging and you will be tired, but was worth it to me :-)
find a teen in your neighborhood to sit for a few hours (nm)
d
well, I am an adult with teen kids, so it's not too hard to
Help! Need teen halloween custome ideas?? anyone? nm
;
Forgot to mention - I am an 80s Teen - younger than you! nm
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It's not a fad. You need her doc to refer you to a therapist for her. Took my teen years to get
s
My pre-teen Halloween story - happened about
There were always literally hundreds of kids out in our neighborhood on Halloween. When I was about 12, I got a gray wig and messed up the hair, a rubber mask with a large nose and lots of wrinkles, wore an old long plaid robe tied at the waist and socks with open-toe bedroom slippers. So here I am, messy gray hair, ugly face, robe and slippers and walked with a limp down the dark street. Two men were waiting at the end of a driveway for their children. Here I come, limping by and one man pokes the other one in the side and says, "Hey, Jim. Is that your wife or mine?"
I will remember that for as long as I live.
For mom with teen girls, what type of dance classes sm
are appropriate for learning moves to try out for drill team? my daughter is 14 and has never been in any dance classes. i am puzzled by the jazz, hip/hop, etc. and have no clue where she needs to start. she wants to try out for the drill team next year. TIA!
This actually looks do-able. I haven't dieted since a teen. Hated obsessing about food.
dd
Teen son is on this and has an increased appetite, so he's putting on the pounds while his outloo
s
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/cutting.html
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My parents use it
I can't help you with the pre-exisiting conditions question, but my parents use AARP for all of their insurance needs. They saved a lot of money when they switched and have been very happy with them.
I don't think that her parents did it, but I do think..sm
that they are covering up for the person who did it (maybe the brother).
To the poster that said the parents just let them go to
party and drink was sad.
My parents "spared the rod" and I'm now (sm)
a self-sufficient, responsible, mature adult, furthering my education, handling my responsibilities, and not calling home begging my parents for money. So just because some parents "spare the rod" doesn't mean their kids are going to turn out to be spoiled little bloodsuckers the rest of their lives. There are other ways to discipline kids without spanking. Yes, some kids need a good spanking once in a while, IMHO, but there are other forms of discipline that are equally as effective. Just my opinion.
Up to the parents, but they dont do it
Hey, I feel like this, the parents have the only ones who have a right to spank or otherwise discipline kids
I don't have issues with my parents are they are
both deceased, but I have "disowned" all my brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews. I grew up believing I was the black sheep of the family and maybe I am, but their lives are so screwed up and I never heard from them unless they needed something and there was lots of bitterness and anger about various events - mainly my parent's death. The only way I was able to deal with the issues was to disown them. I was not interested in making things better because they aren't willing to make an effort and I just don't have time for that.
My oldest sister hated my mom and was very ugly to her. My mom did so much for her. All I heard was what a lowsy mother she was. Well, my sister's daughter had a baby and gave it away, did drugs big time, drinking big time, has lived with several guys. Her son is gay and can't hold a job, has had so many wrecks he has lost his license twice that I know of. They just keep buying him vehicles very time he wrecks one. He can barely make a move without having to ask mommy, is a druggie/drinker/liar. Only my sister can't see all of this. We all make mistakes and I don't claim to be a perfect parent, but.....
My parents are retired and
do very well on their savings. It's called preparation. People make their own choices. If you don't PREPARE and do not take RESPONSIBILITY, you will eventually be in such a sad situation. It's not anyone's fault but their own for making poor decisions or failing to make better ones.
Morally, yes - I think other aid should become available to the "mom and pop" situation you are talking about but not reporting and paying taxes on income? No. That is wrong, period.
My boys were taught to pay taxes on their incomes from various jobs. They paid taxes and they paid tithes on it, no matter what it was.
It's called DOING THE RIGHT THING...which seems to be a forgotten concept among the older ones and a brand-spanking new concept among the young ones.
Tax evasion, dear, is ANYONE who fails to report appropriately. They may spend the bulk of money going after big bucks tax evaders but the crime is still the same. It is dishonest and it cheats every loyal, law-abiding citizen.
It doesn't matter if the job is easy or or not (i.e., your reference to house cleaning not being easy). THat has nothing to do with whether a person deserves to report/pay taxes on their income or not.
I am a few miles away from there. SIL parents
z
Parents just had them done at $5000 an eye. nm
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I never did think the parents did it. I'm glad they got him (nm)
nm
I think the parents should be held
responsible. I'm sure the rules are less strict for older kids (he is 16). But it seems a waste of time for the teachers if he is going to only show up part of the every week. He seems to think it is funny that he has really, really bad grades. Seems he is just wasting a spot at school and the teacher's time.
what a brave son (and parents)
How old was he when he did that? He earned every penny it sounds like. You couldn't pay me enough to get that close to snakes (shudder). 
My parents did it about 26 years ago - $20K then -sm
that was a 25,000 gallon, cement with plaster in-ground pool with heater, 2 blowers and skimmers, a swimout (a seat in the deep end), steps in shallow end, ladder in deep end with diving board, with a large cement patio area around the whole pool. Pool still in great shape though it does need to be replastered now (can see cement where it has worn thin). My dad just sold the house so its the new owner's issue now.
Take a look at who their parents are. Where's the blame now? nm
v
If not my kid, then the parents need to step up
and take care of their own child. If I need to work, do not babysit period. I took care of my children when they were little and they can take care of theirs. No time to spare when working.
My parents both worked and over the summer they LET us go to
summer camp AND it wasn't cheap for them either. Three kids going to camp 5 days a week (Thursdays were skate day), compare that to what that would cost today. My brother, sister, and I were at camp from 8 AM to around 5 or so and yeah we were beat when we got home, but my folks made sure we weren't "latchkey" kids or running the neighborhood getting into who knows what kind of trouble. My folks spent quality time with us, too, in the evenings, on weekends, holidays, and vacation, but they BOTH had to work to support us. So, for the person who has unjustly persecuted CampMom, please try to be more considerate.
P.S. I should also add that my siblings and I have some of the best memories of summer camp. Did I say that I'm 42 years old?
For parents, what do you think of your kids' friends?
I am wondering if it's ME or if it's my kids' friends that's the problem. I just can't stand barely any of them. We have little sailors running around cussing, compulsive liars, thieves, two-faced "unfriends", blackmailers, anger management problems, slobs, and perverts running around here. And the violent and graphically disgusting games these kids try to play. Is this everywhere? Or am I just overly sensitive? Parents can't choose their kids' friends because the kids'll rebel against the control, right? I just feel like I can't have anyone over here because I'm constantly correcting them and cleaning up after them. They don't listen worth a darn anyway. I certainly don't want my kids to go to their houses if these kids behave this badly here.
I tried going into details, but this post got so long. I don't think it's our neighborhood either because we have to drive for playdates with some of these kids. What, do we just attract the people with issues? I try to tell myself that these are just kids or perhaps their home life isn't in line with the same value system as we have. I try to be tolerant because some of these kids have had problems in their lives. However, having problems is no excuse for bad behavior. I'm no perfect prude and neither are my kids. We've had our share of problems. I also know I can't "shelter" my kids from the outisde world. But geez, it's just ridiculous. Whatever happened to the days when parents were parents and kids behaved? Children should not be cussing, stealing and telling horrific stories of murder and incest.
To give you an example, one of these little punks even told the whole neighborhood that my husband and I were druggies and dealers. We found out about it when our elderly neighbor came over and told us. We've always been totally against drugs, not even experimenting with them when we were teens. Plus, we both have to go through yearly drug screening tests at work, too. What is with the world today?
To all you parents of student athletes - sm
My son came to me today to tell me he is quitting football. A sport he has played since he was in the 3rd grade. He is now a junior in high school. He is an awesome offensive linesman - scholarship bound this year with academics with it. He has a 4.0 GPA, takes AP courses and could have a scholarship coming his way.
Regardless of all of that, I am just heartbroken to see this young talented man just walk away from the game he once loved. I have been crying all morning.
He tells me, "it just is not fun anymore. " He does not want to play. He wants to concentrate on his academics.
This is halfway through his camp, and games start next week. He started on the varsity team as a Freshman.
I am so upset, but I won't let him see it. I do not want him to play a sport to please me or anyone else, but himself. I have to hold all of this in and it is killing me. This is his decision, and I have talked to him over the past few days about, trying to not let him know how disappointed I would be if he quit. Well, today, he went to camp and told his coaches he is not playing, handed his equipment in, and so forth.
Any advice from any of you parents out there for me as to how to handle it from a loving mother point of view! I hide in the bathroom and cry so he doesn't see me. For the simple reason, if he sees me crying, he will continue to play just for me. I really don't want that. He needs to play for himself.
Needless to say, the coach called this morning after he handed in his equipment to talk to him. I am sure there are more calls to come. His teammates will be over this afternoon after camp, I am sure of it. How do I handle this - better yet, how do I help him handle this?
P.S. If he feels like he is letting his teammates down, he will give in and play just for them or for me -
To all you parents of student athletes - sm
This has happened to my daughter this year as well. Her reason was that her coach was a jerk and it wasn't fun anymore. She was a great fastpitch pitcher and he tried to change her mechanics and messed her all up. She didn't want to disrespect him by "telling on him" but it finally came out. When she was pitching it just wasn't her. She was not having any fun any more.
I would suggest finding out "why it is not fun any more." Then if it turns out to be the coaches, find another team he can play on. That is what we did. HTH!
Hope
I do have a neighbor whose parents live
in Houma. She went down there to help them get their things in order. I think she had to bring a generator. I have not talked to her as of yet. I will see her tomorrow and let you know.
Go get to know the family and the boy, introduce yourself to the parents.
That way you can get a feeling on the situation.
No, parents don't usually sit there through football practices.
Games, yes. Practice, no. Cut the apron strings already. The kid would probably get teased with Mommy on the bench every single day watching him practice. It's just not done when kids hit middle school and high school. Let the coach do his job without parental scrutiny.
Same thing happens when we go to my parents' house
All the judgmental "repent you sinner crap". Can't have a nice visit and just talk about something normal. Makes me nuts.
has anyone belonged to Parents Without Partners?
I'm looking to join. I'm 31, just wanted some opinions.
One of the greatest gifts I have are my parents.
My father is a very strong Christian man. He worked hard all our lives and provided a living well enough that allowed my mother to stay home with us.
He took us to church, structured rules for us as teenagers, and loved us fiercely.
As I grew up and got married, I found my husband to be completely incapable of providing for me as my father (and mother) did. While it left me confused for quite a while, I finally realized that no man was worth my time or energy unless he could take care of me as well as or better than my father did and that I do.
I am shocked and hurt at the number of stories I hear from others everywhere about their lack of a wonderful family and childhood.
Honestly, I feel like I am the most blessed person I know considering my family, my children, and where I am in life.
My father gave me strength, discipline, a love for truth and self responsibility, and most importantly the key to knowing God.
You imply people who don't are bad MTs or bad parents
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there R plenty of states where parents....n/m
@@
My parents both worked for various grocery
stores and my dad just retired from Safeway. Neither of them have ever heard of tipping for taking groceries out to the car.
caring for elderly parents
My dad died last year at age 89, my mom died last month at 92. My husband and I and our three kids moved in to my parents house 8 years ago to help my parents (I also have 3 siblings). We lived with my parents, and I cooked, cleaned, took them to doctors appointments, etc. My siblings did not do much, even living close by. It was a mistake, my mother said it was her house and not mine and Alzheimer was setting in on both parents. we ended up moving out as I was very unhappy as was my family. My parents health got worse, 24 hour nursing care, finally a nursing home for mother. They had to sell their house to pay for the nursing home because they did not trust anyone to have anything in their names and now everything goes to probate for the estate, which is now hardly anything. Anyone who has aging parents should contact an elder lawyer and know the laws of your state, have bank accounts put in sibling name or even lawyer's name. I really tried to take care of my mother and father but they were very stubborn, would not listen to anyone, took risks and fell etc, and it was not a good thing for anyone to watch. My siblings were all in charge of my parents care for the last four years and they realized what I had gone through. It is very difficult and you try to help but sometimes it does not work. Yes, I loved my parents and tried the best I could, but sometimes it just will not work with living with them as they get so set in their ways. I am a very easy going person. I just know that I will set up will and trusts, etc for my family
I do, because they took care of me. If they were absentee parents, then I'd say no. nm
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