I am a foster parent of 3, have been for about
Posted By: sm on 2005-08-14
In Reply to: Can someone talk to me? - Elsie
a year and a half now. I would highly recommend you try to place you children with family or a good friend before turning to the state. After seeing how the system works, IMO, it is not a very good one. I would hate to see you lose your kids because you asked them for help. Two of my FC are about to get terminated from their parents, their mother of which put them in care for "help" and is now going to lose her kids.
There are many, many programs out there to help you. I'm not sure how long you have been married or really what the situation is but given the fact that you are considering this for children tells me you are a decent person because you don't want them on the street. Call a family member or a friend and ask if you and the children can stay with them. You might have to consider placing (or leaving) your husband somewhere else until you can get back up on your feet.
Go to your local welfare office, they might be able to get you something short-term. Try, try hard to keep your family together.
God bless you and your family. I hope things turn out and the world seems like a better place. Just know that we are all hear praying for you!
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I'm a current foster parent in Georgia and...sm
have e-mailed you to contact me so I can answer your questions.
Penn Foster
I found an in home job right away and they pretty much educated me on everything I needed to know.
Penn Foster
check the chat from 03/01/09 a couple pages ago on this board. No it is not a good school.
Penn Foster Question
Thanks for your reply. I had been looking at Penn Foster, mainly because Andrews and M-Tec are so far above my budget. However, I had heard it was difficult to get an in home job from other programs other than the reputable top 3. Did you have any problems finding employment graduating from Penn Foster? Did they educate you on the word expansion programs, etc?
children in foster care
In response to the Wednesday's Child, I've seen the film clips on the national adoption/foster websites. They do that in several major cities. I always want to grab each and every one and hug them and tell them how special they are. It makes me so sad for them.
Regarding adopting an older child if you already have children, I agree that there's something to be said for having an infant if you have no biological children of your own. In most cases, private adoption agencies do give childless couples priority. However, each family is in a unique situation, so exactly how old the adoptive child would be has to match their needs and yours. For example, some of the children aren't to be adopted by families with younger kids, etc. In my own case, I'm not necessarily looking to adopt an infant girl, but I would rather have a younger child. After talking to my 16 and 11-year-old sons, I'd prefer that she be younger than 11. This is because they feel they'd be able to bond better with a younger child and truly think of her as their sister. It's very important to me that this be a family decision and not just my own. It's scary to think of what some of those girls may have been through, and to bring an older girl into the house with my oldest son could actually be risky. You sometimes hear of children acting out after abuse, and I'd never want to put him in a position of false accusations. Of course, I'll have to worry about all this as we get further involved. After all, we've barely begun the process.
Thanks for the comments. Y'all are great!
ok-could be your parent for sure...LOL...sm
32 !!! A mere babe in arms *S* and yes, old enough here to be YOUR MOM!!! Too funny!!! 
DO NOT place them with state foster care if at all possible sm
they say they are here to help us but knowing insides to the system, that is wrong. there is no such thing as temporarily taking your kids til you are on your feet as there should be. if you feel you can't make it with the kids, place them with friends or family and leave state services out of the picture. that is the worst you could ever do for your kids. if you heard a few reports that i type, you would be shocked. if you love your kids, pull through it with them. food stamps can feed them. do you need clothes? I have 4 ages 13 to 5, i can send you some clothes. the families that go through tough times together are the ones that stick together and are much stronger in the end. i disagree with the poster to dump the husband. he is sick. mental illness is just that, an illness; unless there are other things you didn't mention.you should be able to get disability.state should pay TNAF for children. HUD can give a home; yes, may take a while but i bet if you expressed to some agencies around you about how you need internet to work, you would find someone willing to offer that help to get you on your feet. at least you are trying and they will see that. we have a PATH where i live and they will pay house pymts, rent, utilities, food, clothing, etc. can you put up flyers to clean houses or something that would be within walking distance for you? i would pay someone to help me out, lol. the kiddos might could even pull their share and help out. we have a place through the unemployment office in Texas that will pay you to go to school if you have lost your job. it paid my way to school for transcription; i got gas money, books, pens, childcare, everything i needed. yes, my credit is ruined from living off credit cards during that time but i am making 45k/yr now. best thing i ever did. it was designed to put people back in the work force again. go to McD's if needed long enough to get some wages to get you back into a house and utilities and you can build back up from there.
Have you tried the Drs. Foster and Smith veterinary website?
Great site!
I hope your doggie's feeling better soon.
jodie foster. Love all her movies
nm
I want to know if Penn Foster is a good school?
YEAH!!>>>>IM GETTING A FOOT PEDAL!!!!!  
Well, I am the parent and I run my house sm
My kids are told to speak only when spoken to, and if they talk back in anyway, I smack them in the mouth. Granted, they are teens and not toddlers. In their teens, they try to push it to the limit no matter what situation. My kids know not to push!
I think she is very much a good parent, and I don't
see how she is treating them as pets.
Ok, she was a parent when she got involved w/ a
asdf
Here's how foster-to-adopt works on the federal level...sm
All non-Caucasian over age 1 automatically get adoption assistance. All Caucasian kids over age 8 get adoption assistance. If you adopt a sibling group that is more than 2 kids you get adoption assistance. All special needs children qualify for adoption assistance. Adoption assistance usually means Medicaid until they're 18 and in a lot of cases the monthly per diem rate is paid to the adoptive family. For the special needs kids, sibling groups and non-white children that meet the adoption assistance criteria generally the fees for adoption are reimbursed up to $2000 - which is pretty much what all of the attorneys charge for these adoptions since Child Protective Services/DFCS does the majority of the paperwork.
We're currently in the process of adopting our 6-year-old foster child who has lived with me since she was almost 5. The adoption should be finalized in January after my husband meets the 6 months residency requirement (we got married in June and he moved here from another state at that time).
It's not a parent's job to entertain their children 24/7.
Back in the olden days, parents AND children did chores from morning until night. They didn't play, go to the movies, own electronics or do ANYTHING fun. Chores, chores, chores all day long. The kids worked right alongside their parents. Church on Sunday. They didn't have neighborhood kids parading through the house without an invitation. They might have gone on an occasional picnic or square dance, but that's it. Children aren't supposed to be in charge. Parents aren't supposed to entertain their children 24/7 and give in to their every whim. At least her kids are having fun instead of being left home ALONE with a list of chores to do while Ma and Pa go to town for supplies.
A parent's job is to raise a child but....
I've been in that boat, too. Chore lists didn't help. Taking anything away didn't help. Holding their allowance didn't help. Going on strike didn't help. All I ended up was triple the work.  . It was their job to bring in wood for the stove to keep warm. I left the fire go out one night. That got their attention when they woke up and it was only 50 degrees in the house (pretty warm considering it was 0 outside). Never had to worry about heat anymore, but the other stuff....well...
At that time, I held down 2 full time jobs and 1 job at home typing college books part time. (I was young, so could handle it). Well, one day I sat them down and told them that if they EVER wanted to go out on their own, they would have to know how to clean, wash clothes, iron, cook, etc. I taught them how to cook the basics. I showed them how to do everything else. Well, they still didn't pitch in....didn't know what else to do so I left all their stuff alone. Stopped doing their wash and closed their bedroom door. Ignored them when they asked for something like they did me.
My guys all went out on their own between age 18-21. You should have seen their place. Spotless and they did it all themselves. Now that they are all married, my boys cook meals for their wives at least once or twice a week. They help their wives clean and do all the stuff I wish they would have done at home. But, you know what? That's fantastic. I know I taught them something that stayed with them and all my DIL's love me for it. 
Now, all I have to do is get hubby trained. I'm still supermom to him even though he often states "I don't know how you do it all."
My opinion is not to worry about it. If they are embarrassed, they may do something. If not, then when their friends come around, just mention, "I'm sorry the house is such a mess but since I work 2 jobs, I just don't have time to do everything else." They might get the message then.
Have become a single parent...how to survive
Hello.
First, I want to apologize if this is not on the right board. I wasn't sure where to put it.
Second, I am not looking for pity...just advice.
I have two wonderful children (a 5 year old and a 5 month old) who are my life and because of that I have left there father (verbally abusive to everyone) to make a better life for all of us. I am a new MT (have only been in the business for 4 months now and make enough to pay rent but that is all. With an infant it is hard to work during the day so I start my work around 7pm and work until it is done. I am not that fast yet but am gaining speed and could handle another small account. Can anyone tell me how they have made single parenting work as an MT or have any ideas on how to make it work, please. I am deperate to stay home with them. Honestly, daycare cost would kill my paycheck if I had to work outside of the home and I am trying to stay off of government support.
I appreciate any help or advice I receive.
Thank you.
elder parent care
Of course I feel "responsible", even "obligated" to take care of my aging parents. They took care of me, now it's my turn to give back. However, I'm not in that position right now as my parents are both in their early to mid 60s, so don't require taking care of yet...so who knows how I'll feel when faced with that responsibility. But, I hope that I feel the same way I do now. My husband and I have discussed more than once perhaps buying a larger home with an in-law suite to accommodate our aging parents.
If only more of us would take the responsibility of taking care of our elderly parents, then perhaps we would not hear of some of the horrors that happen to the elderly such as getting bilked out of their life savings, being abused in a nursing home, having accidents while trying to take care of themselves, etc...Thanks for the thought provoking question....have a wonderful day! 
This sounds like a parent talking...
I never want anyone to think I am yelling at them, even if something is a MAJOR no-no.
The above is what the poster wrote. I am not saying that I don't think her approach is good. I am just stating that words like MAJOR no-no are as if she is talking to a child. That's all I was pointing out. I don't like baby talk when it comes to being professional. Do we not strive for professionalism in this business?
So, some of you here like being talked to like a baby? That makes QA so special and great?
A little please and thank you goes a long way. I don't need a QA person to be sugary sweet to get the point. We are adults here.
As a parent of 3 grown men, I'd be real clear with him
on the reason for quitting. This is not the norm for most of these players, especially after playing for so many years. After this time it's usually "in their blood" as some would say. You really need to keep an eye on him and see where he really focuses his time now that he's not playing. Since his GPA is 4.0, it just throws up a flag to me as I read your post, and I'd be sure to keep a close eye on this young man. BUT, for your P.S., his team may nudge him back into playing and I don't necessarily think that would be a bad thing. Hopefully it's not a people problem that's caused him to want to quit, i.e. people picking on the little guy (wink, offensive linemen usually aren't too little, are they?). Just make sure you stay objective and keep an eye on the bigger picture if that's possible.
I remember when my now 25-yo was the tight end in pee wee footbal, lots of practice and lots of fun. He totally loved it but quit after midgets because he couldn't get along wth an upcoming coach. Ahhh, those were the days. Thanks for making me remember some good times.
A parent's job is to raise a child the way they should go as an adult ....
Isn't part of being an adult cleaning, taking responsibility? If so, YOUR job is to make them clean, certain rooms on certain days, not just during vacations. (I'm at work so this is succinct, and probably not real tactful, sorry)
I don't think it is cruel to admit your remaining parent - sm
into a nursing home. Those that think its terrible are just concerned with appearances I think, that and guilt themselves if they ever thought about it. My mom put her mom in a nursing home after she could not care for herself. My grandma actually thrived there. They got her off all her medication and she was felt a lot better, even got engaged to get married again, but broke it off shortly before she died. We lived in PA and her mom in FL. My mom's (adopted) family thought she was such a terrible person for putting her "mom" in a nursing home. My mom's adopted parents did not treat her well at all, would never tell her much about the adoption when she eventually found out about it in the 1950s (smell of scandel somewhere, this was 1935) and my grandparents never really ever wanted children. Needless to say my mom has a less than ideal childhood but she took care and upheld her "responsibilities". Some people take in their parent(s) because they want to make sure the $$$ if there is any stays in the family (or goes to them). I know that is the wheel turning in my DHs brain about his parents, though he says they would never re-marry after the death of the other. His mom has told me she will not remarry, but you never know do you. I think he is wrong about his dad though, I think his dad would do the exact same thing my dad did, i.e. remarry within a year of the mom/wife passing and say bye-bye to any substantial inheritence on a re-marriage. In my case I will "lose" (my husband's thinking) out on about $140K which my husband deeply resents unfortunately. It has caused a lot of distention in the last 2 years between me and my DH that is. I am cool with my dad, it's his life and money; and I have pointed out to him a zillion times that inheritence is a gift, not a right. But yes, to be honest it is disappointing, but as my DH expects to get close to $1 mil from his parents I think we will survive (in a way I hope they disinherit him). Greed can cause all sorts of problems. Along with responsibility comes motive in some cases. I do not want to take in either of my DHs parents, but his fear/greed will induce him to have whichever one is left move in with us probably in the next 5-10 years (they are 76 and 71 right now). Sad.
As a believer in Grassy Knolls, Area 51, Vince Foster's murder, etc.
I've often wondered lately if the gradual slow down (leading to a halt) in work is part of a grand conspiracy to limit the amount of money paid in UI. It is, after all, based on our income. And the longer they string people along, slowly shrinking the amount of work available, the less money we will be eligible for, when we eventually hit that unemployment line. I believe the amount a company has to pay into the unemployment fund is based on the amount it has to pay out, although I don't know how far back those records go. But since it seems like many seem to be watching their work/income shrink over an extended period of time, it seems like it will be letting the company off the hook for the amount made even a year ago.
Of course, I may be looking at it all wrong. But there was a 2nd shooter and we know about those alien autopsies!
I agree. Sounds like a controlling attention-seeking parent so
x
Absolutely, any parent who does less is negligent! Glad my kids are grown, my baby will be 18 in Ju
x
Kinship care versus foster care/adoption
Having been placed in a position where I now have custody of my 3 YO granddaughter and going through the legal system, I sought an online network of relative caregivers for children. I would encourage you, especially since you are in Georgia, that if you take any children into foster care with the idea of adopting them, there is federal law that requires the state to take certain actions in a specific time frame. When a child is removed from it's bio parent(s), the state is required to investigate any possible relatives who can take the child before foster care is considered, but even before that, reunification with the parents is the priority. Once a child enters the system and is in the system for 15 out of any 22 months, the state is required to find permanent placement for the child.
The problem with this is that there are case workers who may favor a foster family and do not seek out relative care. I have a good friend in Georgia who had to fight all the way to the state level to get custody of her grandson after the child was placed from the hospital into a foster care home with the promise that the foster parents would be allowed to adopt. She has now adopted her grandson, but it was a long, hard battle to get the state to admit their own interests were placed above those of the child and/or family.
If you get a child placed through the state, please make certain there is not a relative who wants that child before you get your hopes up. The courts are now favoring return of children to relatives even after a child has spent years with a foster family who hoped to adopt them.
States get bonus federal funds by complying with the time lines and being able to close the case, so some states place children in foster care because it is easier than trying to locate relatives.
Didn't mean to go off on a tangent, but I can't imagine my sweet bella going to someone outside her family.
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