I agree, she does still need counseling...
Posted By: TM on 2006-07-18
In Reply to: UPDATE on our situation....sm - Teen mom
She needs to meet with someone who knows how to handle a situation like this. Going to counseling might also help you both learn how to deal with her better too. I might also add, while what you say you are doing sounds good and I think you should stick with it, also think of ways you can add positive reinforcement too. I think it would do her a lot of good if Dad could spend a little more time with her, doing activities, talking more, etc, something that would bring them closer.
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Consider counseling
Sometimes an objective opinion from a person you respect can give you some insight that you have disregarded or give you positive suggestions on improving your life. It's worth a try.
counseling is a must.
I have only been married 4-1/2 years myself, so I am not an expert in this field, but I think you need to do everyting in your power to make this marriage work before you call it quits. Whether your husband will agree to go to couseling or not, YOU need to see someone (marraige couseler, pastor, etc.). If you can get your husband to go, that's awesome. He may take the advice differently if it is coming from someone other than you. Men tend to think we nag a little! I have never been to marriage counseling, and I have never been in a situation like yours, but if I were, I think I would give it my all before I throw in the towel!
Why don't you go to counseling with him?
At least once - and ask for help in dealing with his calls...
It really is an illness.
Wow you need some seriously counseling. sm
I am very very sad for you. What a very shallow and pathetic thing to do.
Please, go get counseling before you give up ---
It can really help you two see things in a different light and get to what is really going on. My situation was nothing like yours (different issues) when we decided to get counseling after 17 years of marriage. I was very doubtful it would help one bit and was ready to just get out. After 4 weeks we made some changes, did some reading, talked things over together and with the counselor, and today my marriage is better than it has ever been. I think it can be done if BOTH parties are willing to give and make some changes. Good luck. :)
Bankruptcy vs counseling
I went through an ugly, expensive divorce - after 22+ years. He had the girlfriend but he wanted me to loose everything and fought through several attorneys. I tried the counseling -- finally went through Christian counseling as their fees were the lowest and they seemed the most honest -- but after everything and to keep my house did file Chapter 13. I feel better doing the Chapter 13 as at least I am paying back something to everyone and did not leave them all hanging. Am paying back 25 cents on the dollar to credit cards. Just be careful should they offer you to cut down the balance if you will "pay in full" as what is not paid will be considered "income" and you have to pay income tax on it. I still do not feel good with doing the Chapter 13 and don't understand how a lot of people can do this several times as I saw in court when I went there. It is not easy to walk away from the debts that you made and truly owe but there are some circumstances that make it necessary. I for one am glad of the new laws as I don't think it is truly unfair to make people make an attempt to pay back what they owe, at least partial. Some of the counseling groups I talked with -- the ones with the best reputations-- were going to charge anywhere from $100 to $150 to handle my money and I could be putting that on a payment to a credit card and so Iooked long and hard. You can also negotiate directly with your credit cards but they put a "stop use" on them and you cannot be late with one payment. But make an attempt and you will feel better about yourself. Just my thoughts and experience. Patti
Credit counseling
Yes, it does go on your credit report. I explained this to my banker that I had not had a problem before in paying my bills, just that I had too many. My banker reviewed my payment history and still approved the loans I requested. Each case is individual, and going through credit counseling may or may not affect your ability to get loans in the future.
She needs to attend counseling regardless!
She will find a way around the restrictions you have imposed if she wants to keep losing weight. You cannot follow her around day and night. It is really easy to hide weight loss if one wants to. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to get a handle on later. It took me YEARS to overcome this myself. Hope it works out.
I have sought counseling myself--sm
online, but I was not too successful in finding anything that was free. I thought I had found one once, but after I submitted my questions, no one ever replied. Guess you have to be careful with that too, or you may find your personal problems pasted all over the internet. Try doing a search, you may end up being lucky and find something worthwhile. Good luck.
I have some docs that say totals if counseling is
part of the visit as they get paid extra for the visit with certain insurances.
your whole family needs counseling - including you. nm
nm
SEEK MARRIAGE COUNSELING NOW!
You need to be telling this to a marriage counselor. If your husband won't go with you, go without him. It will give you the insight needed to make this tough decision.
Try debt counseling first - if that does not work - sm
it will at least look good to the judge when you declare bankruptcy. I do not regret declaring bankruptcy at all - got a lot of pressure off of me when I needed it. I started all over, and now I am so much wiser so I don't get in that circumstance again. It doesn't take long to rebuild, either.
You really need some counseling and anger management
tsk, tsk, tsk
Go to counseling and get guidance and structure.
It CAN work if he earns back your trust and is truly sorry. Counseling can help guide you through this process. It is truly worth a try. What have you got to lose? Good luck to you! :-)
Working on Master's in counseling and sm
I have had a hiatus of nearly 3 years. I could not decide if this is where I really wanted to go. Recently, I put myself back in therapy with my last therapist after a 5-year hiatus to help me decide. Two sessions and I can see the clear path back to it and yes, this is my "true calling."
I feel pushed to get out of MT because my hands are suffering after 15 years of this. I have 3 autoimmune disorders too. I am having energy problems and focus problems...pain and all that comes with AIs. I have trouble with consistently good line counts and I am working 2 jobs out of sheer boredom with the entire thing. It has nothing to do with no making as much money or ASR or any of it. It is my body telling me to move along. I also believe I would be happier as a counselor.
The family can get free counseling through hospice even
if their mother was not a hospice patient. They have programs that the family participates in together and just programs for kids too. If they are able to associate with other kids that have experienced what they have that would probably be a tremendous help. They don't just talk about their feelings, but do activities and play games and just be kids, but if the emotions come then there is a trained person to help them.
Sounds like the dad could use some counseling too and maybe just a break from being a parent 24/7.
Get marital counseling for the sake of your children.
You probably could stay there your entire life and manage but the kids deserve better.
For those who have used credit counseling services, what was your experience?
Some info on credit counseling vs bankruptcy
This is just a heads up for those that were questioning about your choices. I was doing some research on a cancellation of debt form - 1099-C that I am doing for my ex-husband as he never paid me the $9720 he owed me and found on a web page that some of the people that are going through Credit Counseling now are getting 1099-C for some canellation of the debt from credit card companies. If they forgive this debt, then you have to claim it on your income tax as "INCOME" so think about this in your situation. If you are going through a counseling agency ask them if any of your accounts can give you a 1099-C for anything that they forgive you and the only way that they can't is through Bankruptcy. So that is another consideration when wondering which way to go. As for me, I have a signed promissory note signed and it is not a verbal agreement, was not in the divorce and he just never paid. So I get to put on 12 years of interest at 10% plus late fees and he will end up paying the IRS instead of me but I get a tax deduction of $3000 per year until the 21K is used up. So that is fine, he doesn't have to pay me and I will cancel out his debt, but Uncle Sam is not as forgiving as me. But I wanted everyone to be aware of this as it tempting to pay a credit card company only 50% of what you owe them but thing of putting that other 50% on your income tax forms. Patti
From the sounds of it grief counseling may be in order -sm
My mom died 9/04 after 9 weeks in the hospital (as was recovering nicely too) so her death was actually quite unexpected. Considering how close we were I have handled it quite well (we talked on the phone almost every day and I visited at least 6 x a year). I never really cried though, don't know if that is good or not, yes I get teary, but I never broke down or anything. I just withdrew into myself I guess as part of me died that day. I had a rough patch in 02/05 that lasted about a month or so, but for my daughter's sake I had to pull myself out of my funk. I don't think I every really got to fully grieve though as then my dad met his girlfriend < 3 months after my mom died then got engaged 2 months later, then Jen got diagnosed with cancer, had surgery/chemo, my dad married 9 months after my mom died, etc. I can go days w/o thinking about my mom, though I loved her very much. So either I am in denial, cold-hearted, or just deal with things quickly. I don't believe you should dwell on things. Life keeps on going and there is nothing you can do about that but live your life the best you can. But if you are still so upset and cry a lot then I really think you should seek out a grief therapist so you can learn how to cope and move on. This doesn't mean you have to forget you dad by any means. I still "talk" to my mom though I have no grave to visit or anything as she donated her body to science so I have no clue where she actually is now but I like to think her spirit is here with me and that makes me feel good.
Is there a free online counseling service?
My daughter, who is 33, is married with 1 child - every time something goes wrong in her marriage or job, she calls me and I'm supposed to solve all her problems. I have asked her repeatedly to go to a counselor, but usually when she calls, it is in the evening. By the next day or Monday, the problem has gone away temporarily and then she doesn't get the help she needs again.
Does anybody know if online counseling is available that is free, other than this message board ?  I guess I'm thinking of someone with an actual degree?
Anyone have any GOOD experiences with a credit counseling service/
If so who were they and what did they do?
Working on my Masters in Counseling Psych. I should be done in Summer 2007.
x
Has anyone used a credit counseling service to consolidate credit cards?
What was your experience? Was it worth it? Which ones are credible?
Agree, agree, agree! Just listen to Benny Hinn..
he speaks perfect English, especially when asking for money! Also, in my opinion, blanks should be left in the doc's dictation if not able to be transcribed, maybe then they will know that are NOT understood. With QA fixing them, what need is there for them to care if we understand them or not?
I agree with you....
I mean afterall there is no evidence that she is dead. From the beginning I thought they were guilty and I still think that Joran knows something (not saying it was an intentional murder-- probably an accident) The biggest thing that plays on my mind is why did they lie in the beginning if they were innocent. I believe that they were covering up for something. There have been theories that she went for a swim and drowned but there has been absolutely no trace of her. No shoes, handbag, nothing, which leads me to believe that everything was gathered up and taken somewhere.
I feel for the family but they need to let the Arubans do their job abiding their own laws. I know the mother has said she will stay until she finds Natalee but you can't live in Aruba forever.
I agree....
I think you have to blame Natalee herself before you blame the chaperones. What was she thinking going in a car w/ three strangers in a foreign country??? And also, what about her friends.. what were they thinking letting her go to the bar or leaving the bar alone? Back when we were in college and were on spring break or just bar hopping in this country..... you NEVER let your friend go off w/ some strange guys. That is just common sense.
I agree!
It is stated above, "I wouldn't give my daughter 2 cents towards a trip to Aruba at age 18. There's only one reason to go to an island like that, to drink."
Thank you! Me either!
I feel awful for this girl and her family. I really do. But no way in Jerusalem would I have allowed my 18-year-old son OR daughter to go to Aruba (which is a colony of the Netherlands, where pot is legal and who knows if there's any regulation on alcohol).
An 18-year-old is in no way socially savvy or emotionally prepared to be turned loose in a strange place with very loose laws and be expected not to get into some kind of a situation that he/she is in no way prepared to handle.
NO WAY
I really hope they find this poor girl, but it's not looking good.
I agree - for all we know
they could have taken out a second mortage on their home to finance this "vacation".
I agree with you...
besides if I sat all day and typed an American doctor who dictated in monotone speech I'd be sleeping by 10 a.m. I look forward to the challenge of transcribing the ESL's every day..it makes our jobs more rewarding!
I agree
nm
I do agree with that...
Evil does exist no matter where you go and my post was meant in no way disrespectful to you or your opinion (I hate it when a flaming war starts like the ones above). I just know how one seemingly insignificant comment can start a whole line of growing misinformation... Kinda like that game we probably all played as kids..telephone or whatever
I did not hear about the comment of America being the Great Satan, that is interesting, I am going to have to check that one out!
agree...
IN some cases we did, but do you really think the Indians didn't do the same? There is a myth about indigenous peoples on any continent being "noble savages," but in truth, there were warring thieving tribes among the Indians here who leeched off the peaceful tribes before the Europeans got here. Lying and cheating are not exclusively European virtues.
I still say they need to get over it. We spend way too much time in this country talking about mistreatment and ills of the past - we need to spend more time and energy on building a future for the children and grandchildren we say we love so much. The best way to give them a successful, peaceful future is to let go of our resentments and choose to love our children more than we love our grudges.
I agree with you (sm)
it takes a village to produce a perfect report!  LOL! I embrace the feedback from QA, both positive and negative. And I make notes and try not to make the same mistake twice. Life is a learning process, anyways. The day I stop learning, I guess will be the day I die!
don't think so, i agree, it is a
x
I don't agree.
We get a lot of local coverage, but what about national coverage like on Fox, MSNBC, CNN, etc.? Every single news network has been focused on this one single incident on just about every show from 7 to 11 p.m. for months. Nancy Grace gives a 30-second blip in her missing person segment, but the majority of her hour-long show is devoted to the Holloway case. Look at all the help that was donated to the search effort in the Holloway case because of media attention and contrast that to the help that could be focused on other cases in addition (not instead of) had they received the same saturation of news coverage. It's not a generalization, it's an actuality.
I agree
Yes I agree with both of you Joran was involved. I think it was drug related probably not to her knowlege, an accident or something and then they panicked and did whatever they did. When you hear that the father actually said, "No body, no case", that sends off bells to me. My fear is they know she will never be found, and he will just do his 116 days in jail or whatever, and her parents will never have any closure. Sad. I hope we are all wrong. I hope she shows up somewhere like Elizabeth Smart, no matter how traumatized, it can be dealt with. However, I still don't think it is fair to all the other parents with missing children who cannot get their story on CNN for 3 hours a night, not for even a minute. That has to be a plight worse than hell, not knowing; and thank God I don't know how it feels and hope I never will.
I agree with almost everything you said except for
the fact that you don't think our work impacts patient care. I have to disagree with that one. So many times the things that we transcribe are read and re-read to help those giving direct patient care a better understanding of what is going on with their patient (I used to be a nurse and quite often read previous transcriptions). While we are not directly involved in patient care, we do have an impact on their care. Anything that is placed in the chart has an impact on the care because if we transcribe something incorrectly (which we all do)whether it be MR#, wrong med, whatever and nobody catches it then it becomes a part of the record and may be referred to many more times down the road.
I do agree that a lot of transcriptionists would be happier if paid by the hour with incentive bonuses for QA and/or production, but like you said, that is not likely to happen.
I am glad that we can get on this board and discuss our different opinions with others. Sometimes it gets a little lonely working at home and it helps to know other people's insight into different things.
I have to agree...
Degree in advertising and marketing and promotion and choosing to do MT. How pitiful is that?
I agree
I can do 1800-2000 lines a day, so 1000 is a piece of cake.
I agree
On of my good friends is trying to get pregnant now and she thinks becoming an MT at home is going to be easy. She is planning on taking the education direct MT program. I told her, she better know what she is doing.
I doing all the research I can, so I won't make a big mistake.
After reading the posts I don't think it's worth it. I feel I can be a better mother to my child if I continue to work outside the home now. Like a pp said being home physically isn't enough, you need to be their for your children emotionally and mentally. At least once I leave my office, my work stays there and I can give my attention to my baby.
You all have helped so much!!!
THANK YOU:)
Have to say I agree with you
Luckily, I didn't have to do it at home part time, but I had a job away from the home during the day, and worked at home typing in the evenings and weekends. I had 3 kids to raise by myself with no help, so I did what I had to do to make ends meet. But I know they felt neglected when I was at home, and "always working." Luckily, they grew up okay, but it was hard, and there is always the guilt of "always working". I remember them saying those words very clearly.
I actually agree with you. What gets me is SM
when people in this situation go on to make things infinitely worse by having two, three, or MORE kids. Get some common sense, people! It's bad for the kids, and the rest of us are sick of being expected to pay (literally and otherwise) for your mistakes!
agree
Agree you should get it all. Sorry she had a stroke, but you are working your butt off to keep her afloat.
yes, I agree
That is what I am working on, keeping at it. Hard right now for me with 3 kids at home and in my face sometimes. But only 1 month till school. Ahhhhh, cant wait! Still, I find that after my 1000, I start to dwindle a bit. I want 2000 a day, so that is my goal I am working towards. Have to find ways to motivate myself.
I also strongly agree with you about the attitude component. That plays a major role in our jobs. With changes coming on board at my company, I find the better the attitude, the better it all goes for me.
I agree - sm
Career Step is the BEST I have found in my research, and have had the best luck with girls coming fresh out of that course and training them... diamonds in the rough, and they were OUTSTANDING! It is a course you do on your OWN, so if you are successful in the course in managing time and focusing, then you will do well as an MT.... just realize we all SUCK at first... it is experience that makes the MT.... Don't take constructive criticism to heart, USE it to the best of your ability. I have been a mentor, and OSi actually has great mentors for "newbies".... Good Luck.... and let me know if you need any help or have any questions.... Bobbie
Unfortunately, I have to agree with you on this one.
American customer service people over the phone, who probably think they are too good for the job they are doing and feel the need to take it out on me by being short, condescending, and sometimes nasty on the phone. The Indians are very cordial, friendly and patient and are grateful to help.
Yes, I agree.
and MTStars being watched more closley for this damage control because it pop ups on the first page of Google and Yahoo for keyword: Medquist.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=medquist&btnG=Google+Search
http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=UTF-8&fr=sfp&p=medquist
Oh, I agree with ya, except....
I have to look up every single lab test that she abbreviates (incorrectly) because our account does not allow for ANY abbreviations (for this reason, I guess). She has listed over 37 different lab tests in this report and half of them she abbreviated incorrectly. I have to look them all up in Stedman's path...if not in Stedman's path then in Stedman's abbreviations, and then if not in Stedman's abbreviations on google or path sites. I spent over 2 hours on this one 27-minute report.
I normally love the long, meaty reports especially if they're OPs. But this woman obviously didn't know what she was doing...and the worst part is that she isn't new. She does this all the time. I cringe when I see her name show up in my job list, which it usually does about every 5 months and then 10 jobs in a row. So I'll probably spend all 8 hours on just her 10 reports and be lucky to make 800 lines. Yeeehaww.
Well put. I agree...
I am an instructor at a career college. We dropped the MT program 2 years ago. (I still teach medical terms, but now I teach medical assistant students.)The program was dropped because we couldn't place new graduates, and it was clear that the field was headed in a different direction--not only VR, but also overseas outsourcing. That was a wake-up call to me. I'm still in the MT business as a QA specialist and consultant, but I have expanded my editing skills to include legal clients, and I also do freelance proofreading for a magazine. I applaude your decision to earn a bachelor's degree. Good luck in your new field.
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