Husband interferes with my work
Posted By: gspal_india on 2008-03-25
In Reply to: Husband interferes with my work - Maria
Your husband has a dependency problem. Talk to him that he needs to leave you alone for the time you are scheduled to work. For this duration you can do the housework and cooking by getting up early as he is physically disabled. After that lock yourself in with a bottle of water and some beverages.
Else, get him admitted into a physiological clinic for weight loss. Drop him there before you start your work and see that he remains there for the duration of your work.
Else, take up full time employment as MT or team up with a friend who is working as MT from home and work from there.
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Husband interferes with my work
I am working out of my home transcribing for a medical practice located in another state. Currently my work station is in my bedroom, just outside of my living room. My husband is only in his early 40's and out on disability due to his morbid obesity (500 lbs+) and complications from this. He has a very smothering-controlling and manipulative personality to boot. (which surfaced after we got married last year) Every morning I try to get up very early while he is still sleeping to knock out what I can before he gets up. I never know what each day in going to bring once he gets up. Mostly, though, he is wanting me to stop typing to make him breakfast, or hand him this item or that item. He rarely gets up from the couch to be self-sufficient because of his size.  If he isn't watching T.V. the majority of the day so loud that you'd think you were in a movie theater (and I am in the next room trying to type), he wants to go out at some part of the day to either run errands, go out to eat, etc. Every day there are different road blocks that he creates that pull me away from what I am doing and at EVERY juncture I have to explain to him that I have responsibilities to my employer, as if he is just hearing it for the first time. When I answer him back in a frustrating tone then I have "an attitude problem", according to him. He wants the added income coming in to the household, but he shows no respect for what I do and my responsibilities.
husband interferes with my work
I should also add that my husband helps also with the printing of some of my work, on Tuesday morning and Friday morning. He sometimes will ask, any files to print or he will just look, as we have 2 computers. So I send them to my email and he just prints them. We have to do that way because it is a different printer that we have to use. I do only private accounts, thank God. Sometimes we even go out to dinner. I thank God for the way he is now. He wasn't always. He used to be very angry and used to even hit me and break dishes and be demanding, but he didn't know he was sick. Like I said, thank God.
Just pray that somehow things work out.
y best to you.
No, though my husband does use it to print out his work schedule for
but that is it. He has his own work laptop but no printer to it. Kids have my old computer to use for now but Santa is bringing a new one supposedly (Uncle and GPs say they are buying one, we will see).
I always volunteer to work holidays, weekends, etc. because my husband is off
so he can watch the kids while I earn incentive and holiday pay. Plus, I'm the one who has to cover so the childless women can go on cruises with their latest boyfriends or husbands, or they didn't show up for work because they met a guy at a bar and have the bottle flu. Oh, poor you. Life's unfair. Suck it up and get over yourself.
No kids, husband gone 12 hours, you work at home? SM
Priceless! That sounds like the perfect arrangement to me. I'm not kidding, either.
Totally agree. My husband has been out of work for 1 year. sm.
In that time he has graduated college. We have applied to close to 100 places with NO responses. I work two jobs (one of which just got cut back). Its tough but I don't ask for help. It drives me to the point of wanting to hit someone when they say "Tell you husband to just get a job". I just took out 30,000 in student loans to help him get a "career" because that is what they tell us to do in a recession but guess what..NOBODY IS HIRING. If you have a job, your lucky, keep it. If you quit your job just because you want state aid, your a fraud and a liar and a poor parent. HOW could you teach your child values, responsibility and work ethic, if you have none yourself.
Here is part of the email my husband received from his IT department at work..sm
It has been widely reported that a newly discovered Windows flaw will result in several new computer viruses over the next few days.
This new virus is launched by visiting web sites that are infected with this virus or by receiving infected e-mails. You will not be able to know if the web site is infected.
The anti-virus software vendors are working on a system update to fix this issue, but as of now, it has not been provided. Also, Microsoft is working on a patch that will fix the root cause of this problem.
Makes me very nervous also!
My husband just signed up for group life insurance with work which will give him 10x his salary if
he dies which will leave the kids and I with almost a million bucks if he dies. Of course I would much rather have him here more than anything. He had just 150,000 in insurance but for some reason just opted for this group thingie. When talking last night I asked him if he died if I could marry again and this man got so upset with me I thought he was going to cry! He told me absolutely, positively NOT that I could not remarry ( am 31!). He is 35. LOL
Poor guy. Leaving me all this money and I supose the thought of me sharing his wealth with someone else makes him sick!!
I told him he could go ahead and marry if I should happen to die. I want my kiddies to have a great mom and person who loves them very much. Wouldn't you agree?
How do you feel about your spouse or partner remarrying if you or he dies??
DH is dear husband or any number of colorful adjectives preceding husband. (no message)
;)
I totally understand but if your husband is like my husband... sm
When it comes to something like that, that I usually take care of but for whatever reason I can't, I will tell my husband exactly what to do, but when he comes back - to use your case as a "for instance" - I will ask him, "Did the doctor look at his foot?"
Him: "No."
Me: "Did you ask the doctor to look at his foot?"
Him: "No."
Me: "I told you to have the doctor look at his foot!"
Him: (shrug)
etc., etc., etc.
Your husband may not be like that - I sure hope he isn't. And yes, they should have checked his vitals and checked his foot without being asked. But sometimes you have to be assertive with people. And while my husband attained the rank of major in the Air Force and had no trouble ordering people around, there are times when he should be assertive but isn't. And he is not intimidated by doctors - he started his AF career as an x-ray tech (that's how we met). I dunno....(Rad MT wanders off, mumbling....)
LOL husband
But you have your husband all the time, think out of the box (smile)..who else would you want? Sure hubby or boyfriend is the best but.....
Not me...husband. nm
x
At least I have a husband...
The word on the street is that your husband left with the better-looking, better-smelling, thinner girl next door. POOR MOLESTED YUCK!!
Yes, my husband and I had our
we chose our wedding date (go ahead and laugh if you want) so that we would have an auspicious start to our marriage...has worked so far, as we've been married for 23 years. People tease us 'cause we act like a couple of giddy teenagers around each other and (try not to throw up) it's really true.
Historically, centuries ago, physicians also were trained in astrology and wouldn't perform surgeries until the stars were aligned properly for the patient. No void of course moons and certainly no retrograde mercury.
Remember all the confusion with the 2001 presidential election? Election day was held with mercury retrograde.
And, yes, I believe what you've said. And, yes, listen to your intuition; it's never wrong. As Einstein said, "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."
my husband does that, too
and he drives his truck. He's been thinking of getting him a motorcycle but with him using that at 4:30 a.m. in country roads that have no lights, do you think it is safe for him?
My husband is the same way SM
He mumbles and grumbles, rolls his eyes, etc. He says I spend all my time on the stinkin' computer. He wants me to stop working whenever he calls, whenever he is hungry, whenever he wants to go somewhere, etc. I feel so stressed out too. It is a regular argument in our home as well. I routinely work to 2 to 3 a.m. I get up at 6:45 to get the kids dressed and fed (big struggle as I am dead tired and they are generally uncooperative-not morning people-so I'm yelling, he's snoring (can you say "resentment??"). Finally, about 7:30 I wake him up and tell him to take the kids to school. He thinks he's so great because he spends 10 minutes dropping them off...ugh. Then he has the gall to throw it in my face that I go back to bed for 2 hours. Geesh...he comes home from work each night and crashes on the couch until it is time to go to bed.
Well, he certainly doesn't mind spending my paychecks and complains that they are not as big as they used to be (when I worked in house). Sigh...Men! Can't live with them, can't....nah, just can't live with 'em! ;) Waaaaahhhh!! I need a wife!
LOL....well, at least you know you're not alone! Hugs to you,
Chickadee 
Husband's a CPA......
says you can work as an IC or SE, for different companies. You just get different forms from your companies to file with the IRS. As SE, they will pay some of your taxes, you then pay the rest quarterly, and you can still deduct your expenses. If IC, you pay ALL your own taxes quarterly and can still deduct expenses related to your business.
Husband
Well, first of all, I don't believe that it is babysitting if it is your own kids, it's called parenting and more husbands should try it. I think I would look into counseling. No way would I be married to a man who "let me" or "didn't let me" do anything. Good thing I have a great DH.
Good luck!
about husband won't let me.....sm
Wow - I feel like we are back in the Dark Ages....with the neanderthals...."husband won't let me go back to school" and "husband will not babysit the child" - or words to those effect.
Father's are not babysitters if the children are theirs! That's a crock. A babysitter is someone the parent(s) hires.
And as for "husband won't let me" - I'd have gotten rid of him DECADES ago. *lol* but not really laughing. Any man who will not let (allow) his wife to better herself in any way, shape, or form is a terribly INSECURE man. Get out before it's too late for you to save your own life and become your own HERO (heroine)!!!
feel very bad for the poster(s)........pitiful actually (the controlling husband)
Take my husband, Please !
 Why does he put his clothes on the bathroom or bedroom floor two inches away from the basket? Why does he take his plate to the sink with food on it when he knows he hasn't installed a garbage disposal? While I'm on that subject, why does he take PAPER plates to the sink? This is not helpful. 
Yes, please tell us how your husband
Some people are sooooooooo incredibly stupid. Some people are also plain ol' bigots and will attempt to lump everyone in the same category based on their race. How in the heck does your husband know the race of his classmates if he takes classes over the internet. Did his classmates tell him what their race was?
I am a black person and am extremely offended by your statement. Did you think that only white people visited this site?
this is my first husband.
My son was born out of a very short immature teenage relationship, which I ended 2 weeks after I told him I was pregnant. He proved his immaturity very quickly in his actions and I decided one baby would be enough to handle, I didn't need two. That choice, I feel, was very responsible and smart. I DO NOT regret keeping my son as he is a wonderful, smart, loving child who has a lot to give to this world.
I am done defending myself to those who choose to bring me down rather than offer some of the pros/cons of staying married or going single again.
What husband???
:)
No husband. nm
x
My husband had this done
He regrets it sometimes. He still has problems on and off with reflux but had it much worse before the procedure. He lost a lot of weight after the procedure, probably 20 pounds or so because you are limited on the portion and what food you can eat. You are on a liquid diet the first 2-3 days then soft diet for about a week then gradually can start eating solid food again. He also has a lot of problems with gas, he constantly take gas pills but everyone I am sure is different.
my husband was there and...
He had me send Coolaid, nonperishable foods, candy, snacks, toiletries, and stuff like that. When my husband was over there, it was the beginning of the war over there and they didn't have all of that stuff. It may be different now though. You may want to go look at the forums at www.military.com. I am not sure, but you may find something there.
I said to my husband
at the beginning of the show "I hope Uncle June doesn't have a firearm in that house". He was talking about Pussy and some other guy that was also whacked. Tony made the mistake of saying one of their names when he was calling to him for supper. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT! I said, "he shouldn't have said THAT", no sooner were the words out of my mouth and BANG! I hate when I'm right about things like that. He's going to survive, just waiting to see how it plays out. I LOVE THE SOPRANOS! I LOVE JAMES GANDOLFINI! Good night!
My husband was like you regarding me and
sleep. At night, it was difficult for me to fall asleep but in the morning, I was out and it took dynamite to get me up if I hadn't gotten my 8 hours of sleep. I didn't continue to sleep because I didn't want to start the day with him, I did it because I was so drowsy.
When I did get up, I could feel his resentment, made me feel like I was lazy. It was very very bad to start the day off with bad vibes. This happened on vacations as well. He was an early riser but would take naps in the afternoon. I preferred to stay in bed until 9.
Let your kids witness you and your husband in a healthy happy relationship and they will go on to create one just like yours. That is all kids want really. Your actions toward are being watched very closely by these kids.
And yes, your husband sounds like a good man. After my marriage ended (I left), my husband was more than willing to give me the little that I asked for but the negativity snuffed out the positive in the relationship.
My husband used it
He said the withdrawals really weren't that bad. It comes with an aroma inhaler and that helped him a lot! He's been a nonsmoker now for 3 years! Good luck! It's one of the best things you can do for yourself!
Ugh, I am so sorry for your husband.
I've learned that when they speak their native language as much or more as English, the accent never goes away. It's a crying shame.
My husband used it...sm
He used it when he was a teenager at about 16 for 3-4 months and then again as an adult at age 26 for three months.
He had no side effects at all except maybe dry skin. For him it was a life saver because he is a salesman and appearance means a lot.
You just have to make an informed decision. I would do it if my child had acne. I'm a 33-year-old adult and have the occassional pimple because of my birth control and hate it. I try to cover it up with makeup, but boys don't have that option. I, myself, wouldn't hesitate to use it if I had severe acne.
Anyway, my husband says he was told that there may be times again in the future when he has to use it. It is not for long-term use all at one time, but he used it for a few months twice in 10 years.
Hope this helps.
My husband
did the shopping when I was pregnant. One time he came home and had spent $400 at Kroger. WOW!!!! AND.........didn't buy any meat. I couldn't believe it. With the # of bags he brought in I would have thought $150 to $200. UGH. And no meat. I still can't get over that. LOL.
Needless to say I am back to doing the shopping. I would hate to imagine our financial situation if he handled the money. LOL.
My husband is the same way sm
Sometimes when I need a change I cook tortellini alfredo and crumble bacon over the top of it. He loves it. We usually add some garlic toast or a salad.
This is what husband and I have done...
for each big decision on job change, moving to a different state, or a situation similar to what you are facing now, one where we find it hard to decide but think we would be happy with either one. Scarey spot to be in, I know!
Make a list of two columns, one column for each choice (Admin Asst and MT).
Then list each pro/con for both options (each choice has to have the same pros and cons). Gas money, time spent with kids, social contact, type of work, etc., etc. - list whatever options are important to you.
Then assign a percentage or number to each option (my husband is an engineer so we have had to use this elaborate percentage work sheet thing he makes up!!! I just give him my number on a scale of 1 to 5 how I would rate each option and he does his mathematical calculations).
Then sit down with whoever you want to have input and start assigning numbers to each option in order of importance. If you use 1 as low importance and 5 as high importance - then, say, "Gas Money" option - working at home would be a 5 and the office would be a 1 (no gas money for home, lots of gas money for office). In other words, if gas money were the only consideration, home would win with a number 5 and office would lose with a number 1. Then go down your list assigning numbers.
When you are done, add up your numbers and see which option has the most points and that should tell you which you would prefer.
This may sound convoluted and I guess it is (unless you are an engineer or a math major) but, like I said, we have used this each time we have had a big decision to make, have gone ahead with the "most desirable" in terms of percentage outcome, and have been very content with our choice.
I might add that we have lived in 5 different states in 10 years - so we have really put this to the test!!!
The hardest part for me, I think, was getting to the point where I felt each option was equal in desirability. But you seem to be at that point already, having two choices and facing the anxiety of picking one over the other. So you are probably ready for THE BIG TEST.
Good luck to you no matter which you pick and whether or not you use my method!!
i see now that my husband is not only one
who can't seem to quit. I absolutely hate the effects (on health, house, etc), the stink, the cost, to the point i've thought of living separately. and he has been extremely self-diciplined in other areas of life too, but cannot seem to give this up.
My husband has this
My husband, 30 years old, had an ear infection. It got so bad that it caused him to develop Bell's palsy. They told him that it takes anywhere from three weeks to six months to return to normal, but he may have some permanent residual palsy. It has been about seven months and he still has some problems. He can only shut his eye about 75%, his smile is not all there and he has some noticeable paralysis to his cheek. Stress, common cold or hot days can bring on a recurrence or worsen residual symptoms. Our outlook is that there are worse things to have. Hope you do well with yours.
No different than my husband
downloading Express Scribe for me so I could test for an online position. That's why I love him sooooo!!  My own personal techie, the love of my life!
Get a new husband
Just kidding. Sort of. But how long has it been since you've had a REAL vacation? The kind where you sit on the beach and drink Bahama Mamas? Or go camping, or hiking, or whatever it is you like to do on vacation?
If the answer is "more than two years ago" or "I don't remember", then you need a break.
If a vacation doesn't help, then you need a new job.
My husband is an IC.
Not transcription, another field, but the concept is the same. He bills twice a month, and they pay WHEN they want to, and WHAT they want to. They say the exact same thing to him, that he gets paid when they get paid from the client. Also, they always review work before they send to client, so if they are reviewing slow, then pay is even slower. He's checked with lawyers on this, and because he is not an employee, there isn't a thing he can do about it, as long as they eventually pay him within 3 months.
What if it is your husband
I work in Pathology for a large metropolitan medical center and my husband a prostate biopsy. Everyone expected it to be negative. While at work the report came to my workstation and of course it was malignant. I LITERALLY LOST MY MIND THAT DAY. He had the surgery and he is fine, but I will never forget that day.
My husband and I have before...sm
We met in person 2 of the people who hung out in an AOL chat room with us. They both lived in Missouri and while we were there on vacation last year, we got together. It was so much fun. They didn't at all seem like their online personalities. They said the same thing about us. LOL. But we met at a restaurant too, so it was not like we were all by ourselves.
We have also called and had people call us that we have met online and through IM'ng. For the most part, they are pretty much like us as far as ideas, jobs, living conditions, thinking, etc. Most people are pretty straightforward, but there is always that lunatic fringe out there that gives meeting online people a bad name. I think if you just use your head, you should not have any problems. And you might even be pleasantly surprised.
Do you have a husband? This is why I ask..sm
If you have a husband who is a vetran, the VA may be able to help you save your house.
Here in Michigan the VA has a department called the Vetran's Trust Fund. It is part of my husband's GI bennies that he is eligible for. They will work with you to help you keep your house. You need to fill out a TON of paperwork, but it's the gov't, and they THRIVE on paperwork. And if it saves your house, it is worth every form you will have to fill out.
Anyway....you have to be at least 3-4 months behind and have an actual notice to foreclose. They also will look at your ability to repay, what you can repay, and if they do pay your amount past due and get you current, will it happen again.
They helped us once when I lost my job 6 years ago and it was worth every minute I spent with the VA.
Good luck.
Sorry.....gotta say my husband, especially when I see
him throwing ball with my son or reading a book to our little girl.......then 10 minutes later when he's leaving his dirty clothes in the bathroom, I could just kill him.....LOL.
My husband is now winding down...sm
a 20-year career in the AF. I personally wouldn't trade 1 minute of it. As someone else posted, all situations are different, but mine is definitely a positive one. Over the years I have been scared out of my mind for him, mad as hell, and proud beyond words. There have been many times that we have been apart and he has missed some of my children's milestones, and it is very hard sometimes, especially trying to explain it all to a child. That said though...I don't think either of them would want their dad to be anything other than what he is. They have learned to hold close the time spent with their dad and know that what he does, he does for them and his love of this country and all that it stands for. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Anyone's husband in the military?
My husband is thinking of joining the military. He has always wanted to since we met about 7 years ago and we just went to a wedding where his couisin was there, who just got back from Iraq. His cousin is going back voluntarily. He is a higher rank (I have on idea what the difference is). Anyway, I am really worried about this. It is just something that he is thinking about right now, but we have 2 kids and it scares me to death!!! Any advice or anyone with experience with this?
I believe it is Darling Husband....nm
x
What does that mean? My husband doesn't tell me what to do
and I certainly would never obey any man anyway. He's a great guy. He doesn't "babysit" his own kids because he's a real parent. He cooks and cleans. He's good at auto mechanics and construction, so he keeps all of our belongings maintained. We have a very loving, give and take relationship. We're equals. I just like to work holidays because it's quiet and I make more money. How does that equate into living my husband's life? I really don't see your logic there.
I can tell you as a passenger what it's like. My ex-husband was a
truck driver and I would go with him at times. This is just MY opinion based on MY experiences.
1. It's a very dirty job: The truck is dirty; public bathrooms and showers are gross; places you load and unload are dirty; don't always have access to a shower, etc.
2. It's not the way to get to see the country like you would think: You're always on the highways and roads trucks can use; usually industrial zones; not pretty.
3. It is lonely: You see people when you stop to eat, but you are in the truck most of the time.
4. It can be a major Pain in the behind: From being "stranded" with no load to get back on (not allowed to dead-head), dealing with nasty dispatchers, waiting "in line for HOURS" to unload, vendor "refusing" the load, leaving you stuck with it, etc.
5. It can be dangerous: A.People in cars are totally ignorant about big trucks (unless they have a family member driver or have first-hand experience). They just don't get it that the truck with load can weigh 80,000 lbs and the science behind that weight + momentum = I can't stop like your Volkswagon!!
B.My ex was a steel hauler so a lot of places we unloaded were not real inviting and sometimes we would roll in at night and then of course have to sleep in the truck. It can be a little creepy.
That's my input. Sorry, but I guess in reading it back, it is all negative. I didn't have many positive experiences with it....
but then again, maybe it was because of who I was riding with!!
Good luck to you. I think you are brave for wanting to venture out like that.
I'm trying . . . husband mentally ill (sm)
and hasn't worked for nearly a year. I was working until I had to go to take care of sick dad for 3 weeks and husband didn't pay the rent. We've been in shelters and such since, now down to our last few days. This isn't the children's fault. They're the only thing I've ever done right in my life. I love them so much. But I'm scared of living on the streets, obviously can't do MT (haven't been able to since Feb since no shelters offer phones or Internet). I was thinking of seeing if they could be placed in foster care and trying to get myself OK in the head enough. what do you think?
I had to leave my husband
because he was the exact same way as your mother. Everything I did, everything I said, even the way I looked or watched t.v. or talked to other people he had something negative to say about it. I just got fed up and decided to leave and I am so much better now. My family tells me I look 10 years younger. I'm not under that stress under more and it makes a big difference. Believe me you'll be much more happier if you do what best for yourself
Don't need to. My husband's home.
He's cooking dinner and I'm done working, so I'm outta here. I'll leave you to your computer stuff.
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