Heartless? I'm not heartless because I think

Posted By: purposefully telling her to on 2006-01-29
In Reply to: You are all some of the most heartless people I've ever met. sm - a friend

push the buttons of an abuser and provoke him to attack her just for the sake of proof is stupid, irresponsible, self-defeating, and downright dangerous.

What's important? The lives and safety of her and her children? Or getting proof of what she's tolerated?

Good grief.

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Bawling my eyes out. - Starting over.
- RESCUE YOURSELF - nowarrants
- Bawling.... - typnqueen
- Please, please leave him - TwinLessTwin
- don't be hard on yourself for the - dcc
- There are transitional living houses available to help. - Dianna Lazan
- Should I leave? - Jann
  - See message. - OP - Starting over.
    - This is really none of my business, and I know that, - holy cow
      - Oops..came out wrong...I meant it ain't always possible to stay in a marriage - holy cow
      - I made my business your business by posting and... - OP - Starting over.
        My dear, we ALL have things which - holy cow
    - Believe me, you are neither weak or small. - wannie
- Please forgive me if this has already been said... - Little Ace
- Starting over you have a lot of good advice below on..sm - 2teens
- I just wanted to be sure you all saw my... - Starting over
  - Please keep in mind (sm) - me
    - That is an excellent point. I also have another question for all of you. - Starting over
      - What I don't understand is your statement about (sm) - me
        I totally know you're right... - OP - Starting over.
        Start calling some of those help numbers and pose these - MT
      - And how many more concessions are you going to make for him? - MT
      - Um, if he were all that religious, he wouldn't be abusing you sm - MT
      - Religion isn't going to save your marriage. He's an abuser. You need to leave before he harms - & children permanently. nm
      - IMO - no. If he hits you once, he will hit you again. It will not matter what religion you believe - Just Me
        I disagree with both of these and hope the OP reads this too. - JMO
        To JMO - typnqueen
        He has hit her again after saying he won't. sm - MT
- adding my 2 cents - sm
- The easy part is making the decision to leave, the hard part is - MI-MT
- Thank you everyone. (sm) - Starting over.
  - You're starting out well... - TiredMT
    - Big Thank You to "JMO" & "Tired MT" - Starting over
  - You'd be doing him a favor as well. - Seen this a million times
    - I posted before and it was removed. (no message) - I still think this is rude
- I was in a similar situation a few years ago, I got divorced. nm - INMT
- Get marital counseling for the sake of your children. - No mystery here
- Distance is a big plus - Josette
- You already know what to do! Just do it. sm - MT-MOMMY
- Starting over - BTDT
- Your keywords are "physically abusive to us all." Get out!!! - BTDT
- Don't cry anymore...get out as soon as possible. - flutterby
- You have a lot going for you... - wc
- Don't be afraid. Use the law to your advantage. SM - Blu
- just my opinion - jwhitman
- I think you know already know what you need to do. - MT3
- I fear what the future holds too... - MT2
- Verbally and physically abusive to all of you -- sm - MT
  - Please consider leaving - anon

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What a heartless response!
That was ridiculous! This person needs encouragement not the same kind of BS she is getting from her husband/inlaws -- are you one of them? Sounds like it.

You are all some of the most heartless people I've ever met. sm
I honestly can't believe some of the replies posted to me - this being one of them. You may not agree with my advice, but I saw the OP was in pain and I offered her a shoulder to cry on, and the best advice I know. Her original post made it sound like her and the children were truly in trouble, and I honestly tried to help. I shared what is probably the most painful thing to ever happen in my life, and your answer to that is to call me an idiot.

Let's get one thing straight here -- I was talking about actual abuse ... you know, the kind where he threw me across the front porch and broke 3 of my ribs. It didn't happen in front of the kids... it never did... he would never do that in front of them and tarnish his "image" .. but he did have a temper in front of them, and they saw that often enough.

I thought the poster was actually being physically abused, like her original post said. I offered her some advice. If you don't like it, I'm truly sorry for that. But I seriously can't believe what heartless, hurtful people you can all be. You actually made me cry... and believe me, it's not easy to make me do that anymore.

Not heartless...just a bully who likes to kick sand
Please....there is no justification for your behavior, don't try to come here and defend your disgusting behavior. This woman is crying out for real help...not some quick, off the cuff, hurtful remark. I feel sorry for you.