He drew my blood for my marriage license - engaged to someone else
Posted By: Leslea on 2005-12-15
In Reply to: Married? When did you know that your mate was "the" one for you? sm - Poll lady
True story. My husband was the one who was drawing my blood for my marriage license. I was engaged to someone else, and back then you have to have your blood drawn before you got married. When I sat down, he said to me "are you sure you want to get married before you and I have a chance to get to know each other?" I cracked up and realized he was right - I needed to get to know him before I got married to somebody else. We have been married 24 years - 4 children and 2 grandchildren.
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Unforttunately marriage problems tend to follow you into the next marriage...sm
seems like marriage is more about being the right person than marrying the right person.
Is the mute button on your keyboard engaged?
You can tell if the volume is on mute by right clicking on the little volume icon at the bottom right hand of your screen, next to where the time is displayed. Click on "Open Volume Control" and make sure nothing is checked off in the little "mute" boxes. That's where I'd start first anyway...not that I have any first-hand experience in that particular matter 
Thanks! Been a long night and drew a blank, LOL.nm
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Who is Drew Lachey? TV, singer, sports dude?
Drew Lachey is my future brother in law, that is, after Nick and I marry!
Is he drop-dead gorgeous or what? OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
DW Stars. Drew was great! watch tonite for scores. nm
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Yes to all the above - they need some new blood
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marriage
I am not the most knowledgeable Bible student, but it is my understanding that it says that it is better to marry than to burn, not that it is good for ALL to marry. Could you please direct me to the passage that says this? My understanding of this is that because the human sex drive is very strong, many people would not be able to devote their entire lives to studying the Bible, versus marrying and raising a family, and that a marriage is the only appropriate relationship where two should become one flesh (not that it is the only time that it happens, and in fact if one has relations with a prostitute, or a one night stand, or even "serial monogamous" relations, then the two do in fact become one flesh).
marriage
Thank you. That would be most helpful. Just learning.
Actually, this is his second marriage to a man.nm
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bad marriage
I agree with the 40-something single supervisor who started this threat. It can be lonely being single, but it can ALSO be lonely being in a bad marriage; maybe even MORE lonely than being alone. I'm worried about the MT she was talking to when the abuse happened. I will pray that the MT will call the police and/or her local women's shelter...but I understand her fear...God be with her.
Blood Test
Could it just be that his CEA is elevated? The rise in CEA would be used to determine if treatment is working. Just a thought.
blood thirsty
Call me all what you will, but I don't understand why Barney is being bashed here?
Hey BARNEY - I really don't think ya did anything wrong.
I suppose I better watch what I say or I could be crucified next by some of your blood hungry people!
blood clots
It happened to me earlier this year, right out of the blue--pulmonary emboli--and with no real risk factor other than sitting still doing long hours of transcription. Everybody stretch and move around--it's important!
I'd recommend getting CMP and other blood
tests and going from there. If you get a physical and they do the blood work, should be covered under insurance.
The blood can be from implantation, but...
it can also be a sign of miscarriage of ectopic pregnancy. I have had three pregnancies. During the first pregnancy I started having spotting at about 5 weeks that got heavier, and I ended up miscarrying. The second pregnancy I started spotting at about 6 weeks, but went on to have a full term healthy baby. The third pregnancy I started spotting and kept this up for 3 weeks. When I started having pain in my lower right side they found that I had an ectopic pregnancy.
Maybe that was YOUR marriage, but not mine.
We don't need the fake stuff when we've got the real thing.
The reason why I think marriage..
is important, and it IS definitely relevent, is because it does make a difference. When somebody dates, is engaged, is educated, gets married, and THEN has children they overwhelmingly do better in society than single unmarried women. Not that there are not exceptions, of course there are, but being single sets you up right from the start to be disadvantaged financially and in numerous other ways.
It also sets a bad example for your children who grow up thinking this is okay behavior, which then perpetuates the practice of having children out-of-wedlock. Children need 2 parents. The role of a man and father has been so marginalized since the 1960s/1970s, but it is truly an important part of the upbringing of a child. I really believe that with all my heart.
probably a very one-sided marriage...sad...nm
@
marriage crisis
I appreciate all of your replies on this issue. I was a single mom before I even started seeing my husband, so I know first hand the hardships and the sacrifices that come with that role. I will contact a marriage counselor to try and salvage this. I am not leaving just yet as I will have to save up some money and get my pay up a bit before I can leave (if this happens).
I know this will, in some way, affect my daughter, but I think it would be better leaving now than staying for another 10 for her sake and being miserable. I can guarantee that if we do split, she will be of the utmost importance. Just because we have split, does not mean we cannot get along and be there for her.
As for the husband knowing how I feel? He knows because I brought it up before, about us separating for a while and he said to give him the papers and he will sign them, which told me he could really care less if I left. Then he made the remark about the grass is not always greener on the other side (meaning finding another man to make me happy). I told him finding another man was not my goal, I just wasn't happy with him.
My main issue is we do things alone so often (he with his friends, me with the kids) that losing his family makes me more sad than losing him. Isn't that pathetic? I LOVE my in-laws.
I am going to stop babbling now. I just want to say thank you to all of you for your advice and frankness concerning this issue. It really did help me.
this saved my marriage
check out flylady.net - there is a lot of information there, so be patient and read through it...it will give you a different perspective on housework and make it easier on you, even if he does not pitch in. i had to learn to stop nagging my husband about the housework and just do it because i was grateful for my home and wanted to see the floor every now and again :-)one great thing is that, by biting my tongue about the housework, he slowly came around to helping because he was grateful that i was keeping the house nice for him.
also, getting rid of the clutter one step at a time will also help your husband's mental state - too much chaos is confusing for him. i have a mental illness - manic-depression - and having my house in order by following simple step-by-step routines that are written down so i don't have to think about them - just follow the list - has calmed me down considerably and left time for me to care for myself like i should. you will be helping both of you by slowly, step-by-step getting the house together. getting this will help your dear baby by leaving the floor and other areas clear for him to crawl around and do what babies do :-) without all the confusion of clutter.
flylady.net made me more loveable by cutting my tiredness and crankiness (because you clean in small steps that do not exhaust you). It also helped my mood, giving me the self-esteem that comes from tending and blessing my home (and, therefore, my husband) by keeping the clutter at a low liveable hum instead of a screaming mess.
one more thing - try to remember daily why you fell in love with your in the first place. trust me, he is still in there (i was). it was through the committment of my husband to stick by me and tell me all the time that he loved me and wanted to help me that i finally began to love myself again. sure, i still have my days, but they are fewer and farther between, and don't feel so heavy with his help around the house (minus my nagging) :-)
i also want to say that Jesus turned my changed my life - literally gave me a new life and turned me in a totally different direction than my life was taking - took me out of my self-destructive ways because He showed His love to me. i am praying for you. you are hurting right now, and so is your husband. i pray that your hearts will be healed and your love will come back. remember that you created a covenant before God and your families to stick it out through sickness and health and your husband made a covenant to stick it out through messy house or clean :-) blessings.
Some companies try to squeeze blood out of you
and as long as someone does it, that makes them think they can continue to do it. I would not do it for free. If they ask you to do it, then tell them what you charge. If they don't buy, then they are not worth working for. That's why all the industry rates are going down, down, down. Too many who just continue to work for free or low wages. We have to stand up for ourselves or the industry will just keep going down as we have seen it for a decade.
Do you take blood pressure medication? sm
They can make you extremely tired, too. I take Toprol XL and have for 13 years. It peaks about 3 hours after I take it I have trouble staying awake at the PC from 6 am to about 10:30 am. I literally fall asleep with fingers right on the keyboard. It was so bad that I finally changed to the afternoon shift. I asked my doc about it and he said try taking it at night. Well, that brought on the headaches I was trying to avoid. He said to take 1/2 in the a.m. and 1/2 in the p.m. No dice, still had headaches. He won't change my pills, says if it isn't broke, don't try to fix it. He wants to keep my pressure on the low side. My only solution was changing shifts and now I don't fall asleep at the keyboard anymore. I can get 10 hours of sleep at night but still fall asleep about 3 hours after taking that medication. I'm fine if I am up and about and doing things but sitting at the keyboard is another story.
Dad has blood clot in his lungs
Please pray for my daddy. He and my mother and younger brother went on a 10-day, 3800 mile trip to Mount Rushmore. He started having chest pain and arm pain while he was gone. He went to the doctor when he got back and they found out he had two blood clots that were in his legs and had traveled to his lungs. He is in the hospital and they are trying to stabilize him on Coumadin. He is 49 years old. They said that they stopped every 2 hours for a break, but drove some distance every day but one. I am worried about him, please pray for him. He is not in any pain and is resting, reading and watching TV. I don't want to lose my daddy.
Had to ammend the blood thing ... sm
Once she was proficient at cleaning and dressing minor scrapes (9 or 10), I had to ammend the blood to lots of blood, but by then, it had become a running joke. It now stands at massive amounts of gushing arterial blood, and she wonders why she can't break her neck, but a broken skull with brains oozing out is okay. Needless to say, she has a bit of a sick sense of humor. She's a great kid, though.
What is it they're looking for in the blood? Drugs?
?
Drew Lachey is Nick Lachey's little brother.
Nick Lachey is the adorable ex-husband (YAY) of Jessica Simpson. Drew sang with 98 Degrees group with his brother.
I would love to see Nick compete in Dancing With the Stars. He was in the audience cheering his brother on. Class act, both brothers.
This job was able to get me out of a long, horrible marriage and I thank my
zz
His first legal marriage was to a woman. It has only sm
just become legal in Britain for same sex marriages, and he and David married the first day it was legal. He has had many partners, but only one other legal marriage.
5-year marriage falling apart
I need some very serious advice. I have been thinking of leaving my husband for the last year and it is only getting worse. I am so unhappy and don't see it getting any better. He is a great father (we have a 4-year-old), but he has a very limited relationship with my 11-year-old. His real father lives states away and has just recently decided to be somewhat a part of his life. It breaks my heart when my son tries with my husband and he gives a half-hearted attempt or barely acknowledes my son and then pays all this attention to my daughter. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I basically do everything by myself with the kids, he dislikes my family (I'm not very fond either, but hey, they are my family) so I usually attend family functions on my own w/ the kids.
I think we should at least try marriage counseling and take it from there. I am only giving this another 6-12 months though. I deserve a husband who accepts me for me and helps me clean because he realizes I need help, not becuase he can't stand the mess anymore. My son deserves a loving, caring step-dad who will take him fishing or practice baseball with him. Am I making the right choice? When do you know it is the right time to move on? I am so scared. The biggest factor will be raising 2 kids on my own. I am making squat right now.
I need some advice. Mom's not home and I am ready to cry my eyes out.
This sounds similar to my 2nd marriage.
I understand very much what you're going through, except for the part about having a child together with your current husband. I'm into 8-1/2 years of my second marriage, and my son from first marriage was 13 when we got married. However, his biological dad is a huge deadbeat who abandoned our son and left the state--no contact or part of his life whatsoever. So, my son longed for a father figure. This husband was no great shakes as a husband or father, but he was certainly better than the real dad. He makes a living and provides us with a house. I wanted to leave him many times for some of the same reason you claim, as well as others, but things are starting to get better. My son is now 21. What would hold me back the most is how HARD and MISERABLE it is out there to make a living as a single mother. So, I would encourage you to weigh this against the marriage ending, because at times it seemed to just be trading one misery for a different kind of misery. Although I had peace of mind in some ways when single, to try and survive and support yourself and your children, to be their mom AND dad, comes with its own set of troubles and sorrows and stresses, not just for you but for your children. My son now understands that his stepdad wasn't all he could've been, but this is what we have and what guarantee would the alternative been? There's no guarantee you'll find another husband, much less one who will be a wonderful, caring stepfather to what would then be two stepchildren. I don't mean to be pessimistic, just realistic. As I said, things are getting better.
SEEK MARRIAGE COUNSELING NOW!
You need to be telling this to a marriage counselor. If your husband won't go with you, go without him. It will give you the insight needed to make this tough decision.
save your marriage but be smart
I do notice you started back pedalling and saying "oh it's not really so bad and he is my best friend" Once you started getting some responses to get out of the marriage.
I am glad you can see that your husband and marriage has some really positive traits but please it won't help you to minimize the areas where you are having trouble just because you are under fire.
I don't agree that you should just up and leave your husband. He does sound like he might have some very serious issues and possibly you as well for putting up with this treatment but I dont' judge because each relationship can have some problems. The key is recognize and try to solve not to fight.
Tell me -- how can you miniimze the fact your husband is living it up so to speak -- going out with friends whenever he wants WITHOUT you. While you stay home like menial labor taking care of kids.
A marriage is partnership where each individual needs to be able to pursue their own interests but the thoughts, feelings and well being of their partner has to come into play as well. A marriage cannot survive when only one partners needs are being met and the other's are ignored. It just depends how long you are willing to put up with it or how long before he crosses another line (into an affair maybe when he is out alone). This is dangerous territory and you need to stop minimizing the situation and realize you marriage might be in grave danger.
What is sounds like is your husband wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants a great social life without you and kids tagging along -- reliving his single days possibly -- working out when he wants, going out to lunch or dinner.
There is nothing wrong with him pursing his individual interest and friendships --- we don't become bound at the hip when we become married -- we need to have our own sense of self. But the problem here is he DOES have a sense of self and readily pursues his own interestes but does ALLOW you to do the same. This is not partnership -- but it is control and oppression.
While you still may get along well, have great sex etc this is not a healthy realtionship for either of you and your children will see that you constantly defer your dreams and desires and wants at your husbands wishes whilst he does whatever he wants. Is this a lesson you want to teach them? That woman should be kept in the home and be basically a maid, a cook, a childcare provider and at-home worker but does not deserve respect and dignity from husband and to be treated equally?
You can turn this around. I am not suggesting you just bail. Do as you suggested. Stand up to your husband. Don't argue. Simply state (don't ask) that you will be going out -- if he refuses to watch the children then DO hire the sitter. When you are both more calm let him know that you understand his desire to pursue his own interests and friendships and your support that -- but you deserve the same right. Also you both need to balance those things with family time -- which should come first.
Consider martial counseling but don't just leave. See if he will agree. You and your husband need to see why he is so passive/aggressive towards you and why you are willing to put up with that. If you are religious seek Christian couseling and prayer from a pastor to help save your marriage.
However, if he refuses to change, refuses counseling you may come to a crossroad where you might have to consider if you can live under these conditions.
You should be afraid my dear. I am divorced had a similar husband. I would be very frightened your hubby might be having an affair or might consider one. He has you under his thumb... he comes and goes as he pleases and there are no repercussions. He does not respect your rights or see you as an equal patner. What does he do with his "buddys" -- go to the bars? Are there late nights? Business trips?
I am truly not trying to be mean but you need to open your eyes to the possibility where this might be going... and please do NOT say it won't happen to me because ALL women who have had a husband cheat think that.
Also get yourself an education if you don't have one - work on a degree. I know you work as an MT but can you support a house and 3 children on that?? If you marriage does end... what will you do to make a living? Start thinking of taking some online courses or one night at community college. Get another skill if you don't make enough as an MT.
Please just consider advice from someone who has been there. I am a single Mom with 2 boys. Was married over 10 years. Been there and now struggling to make ends meat as a single parent. Wish someone had advised me the same.
By all means work on your marriage but be prepared. Get educated. Save some of you own money in a bank account don't keep everything in his name.... It's hard to fight denial but you need to watch our for your kids and your future while trying to fight for the marriage.
Sounds like a great marriage you have there...
Wow.
No spin. No blood pressure problems.
I'm not complaining about an Indian MT taking good work from me and I don't know anyone within the company who gives out that information anyway. I do believe you might resolve your issues by telling the whole story because at first glance it just sounds like you are complaining and really don't want a solution. If that's the case I am sorry for you. I am also sorry for you that your source came up with an "Indian MT" taking your work who only wants American doctors to cause your blood to boil. Not only does this intruder come from India but she leaves you with the lousy Indian dictators. Not that you sound prejudiced or anything. But do you really need all that info to perform your job? Or is someone trying to stir you up like that higher source you have within the company. Maybe they want you to get mad  and quit! Be careful who you believe and IF your source information is valid what are you going to do with it but fret? That's not a good thing friend.
Did he have blood work w/his job physical? Maybe they missed something. nm
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I love my vet, the only blood work she does is an occasional - sm
heartworm test, about every 2 years. Only take the dogs (and cat) in for shots, no extra or unnecessary stuff. She is cheap (and good) too, compared to where we used to live. I'd say if there is a hint of a problem, then yeah it should get monitored. But if there is nothing wrong, then why? Once every few years should be adequate I would think for blood work. As for teeth cleaning, I have only done it once with 1 of dogs because she was going to be out anyways getting some teeth pulled, a tumor removed too, so we had her teeth cleaned. As for my other dogs, forget it, that is what Milk Bones and Dentabones are for. I already spend enough on shots for 3 dogs, Frontine, heartworm pills, special dog food for the 1 dog, etc. Some vets do whatever to get more $, others though don't get greedy (country vets) and think of the animal, not on pumping up their bottom line. If you aren't happy with your vet then either tell them you only want the 1 x a year visit, shots only, none of the extra crap, you can say NO, it's your pet. Or find another vet. Though we are in the boonies, we have 2 vets within 2 miles of each other, who are both very reasonable, go into town though and you pay a lot more.
Is this your flesh and blood grandchild you are talking about?? sm
If not, how could people who "wanted to be teenagers" literally dump the child on your doorstep? Sounds like you resent that poor child much more than the people getting what you call "vanity" surgery. Gad, what a sad, awful attitude you have.
Come on over to the west coast too where interracial marriage
It is very small minded to think that crossing races to marry is wrong. Again, we are all people, no matter what color we are. For example, I would rather my daughter marry a black man who treated her with respect, love, kindness, being an equal than married to a white man who treated her like trash. Note that I said EXAMPLE, the race could vary of course.
MAs take vitals, draw blood, give injections, etc.
PAs have the mostly the same authority as a doctor EXCEPT writing narcotic prescriptions they need their suopervising doctors signature. I used to work in a doctor's office as an MA for a PA. Hope this helps!!!
Yes - it was explained to me that this happens when the egg implants in the uterine wall. The blood
Had this with all of my pregnancies.
i gave blood, sweat, and tears as a QA person -
I tried for over a year with a very lame lady who supposedly graduated from one of the *top 3* schools and was a former nurse. She had a terrible ear, little to no comprehension, and was clueless on how to even use her reference books! She was hands down the worst MT out of dozens of people I worked with. The point is this - You can usually tell pretty early if someone is worth training or not. What does your gut say?
blood or visible bones?! lmao - I love it!
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You are asking for trouble. Your marriage must come first as the foundation for a strong family. nm
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I had a really hard time with a pastor who preached on marriage
when I knew this was not his first marriage. I couldn't stand it. All the things he said applies to us, but what about his first wife? Where does she fit in? Too confusing for me.
COMMUNICATION+TRUST = LONG HAPPY MARRIAGE
Good lord. Why is it when someone does not want to do something with their spouse it is "assumed" another woman and/or man involved? If he just started working and is probably working hard, long shifts etc, maybe he just wants a day to himself to sleep, lounge do whatever. Call and talk to him and tell him how you feel. Maybe he is the cautious type (I know my husband is), but maybe he just didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you he just wanted to sleep/lounge/have a day for himself.
I am sure he misses you and the kids, but I am sure he is also tired.
You also said in your post you trust him 110%. Then trust him. Let him know how you feel, but respect him and don't go see him. Yes, you are an adult and no you do not need his permission, but you are his other half, you need to respect him (and vice versa).
Good luck and don't pay attention to the negative posts.
Oops..came out wrong...I meant it ain't always possible to stay in a marriage
I would never give up on MY LORD!
Unless it was an arranged marriage, yes, she gets the "blame" for the husband she chose to mar
I get the jest of the "warning label" post, but you cannot deny the fact that SHE CHOSE this man. She also chose the first man she married and divorced. Get screwed over once, it's them; get screwed over twice, it's you. The last thing I would suggest to the original poster would be to leave her current husband in order to find a third one. She's not good at picking husbands. Even if both of them were losers .... she's an adult and she made that choice. Maybe she didn't know he was a jerk beforehand. Well, that again proves that she is lacking the proper skills needed to pick a suitable husband and father. If you marry a jerk, you have nobody to blame but yourself. If you continue to stay married to a jerk, your kids will end up blaming you, too.
Well, there's your problem! You're using blood pressure pills instead of birth
control pills!! See - BP pills are for your heart - BC pills are for your - well, surely you must know!
I can't imagine any father not wanting to make sure his flesh and blood
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Might also be your thyroid or Lyme disease. Insist on blood work! nm
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