Get marital counseling for the sake of your children.
Posted By: No mystery here on 2006-01-29
In Reply to: Bawling my eyes out. - Starting over.
You probably could stay there your entire life and manage but the kids deserve better.
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- Bawling my eyes out. - Starting over.
- Get marital counseling for the sake of your children. - No mystery here
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That is exactly what I meant. Evil for the sake of evil, not for the sake of satan
who is the essence of evil in Christianity. Call evil what you want it exists in every nation and every culture.
Having said that, did not the terrorists call America the Great Satan after their attack on 9/11?
I do this job with young children around and neither my job nor children have suffered...
It can be done...
Consider counseling
Sometimes an objective opinion from a person you respect can give you some insight that you have disregarded or give you positive suggestions on improving your life. It's worth a try.
counseling is a must.
I have only been married 4-1/2 years myself, so I am not an expert in this field, but I think you need to do everyting in your power to make this marriage work before you call it quits. Whether your husband will agree to go to couseling or not, YOU need to see someone (marraige couseler, pastor, etc.). If you can get your husband to go, that's awesome. He may take the advice differently if it is coming from someone other than you. Men tend to think we nag a little! I have never been to marriage counseling, and I have never been in a situation like yours, but if I were, I think I would give it my all before I throw in the towel!
Why don't you go to counseling with him?
At least once - and ask for help in dealing with his calls...
It really is an illness.
Wow you need some seriously counseling. sm
I am very very sad for you. What a very shallow and pathetic thing to do.
Please, go get counseling before you give up ---
It can really help you two see things in a different light and get to what is really going on. My situation was nothing like yours (different issues) when we decided to get counseling after 17 years of marriage. I was very doubtful it would help one bit and was ready to just get out. After 4 weeks we made some changes, did some reading, talked things over together and with the counselor, and today my marriage is better than it has ever been. I think it can be done if BOTH parties are willing to give and make some changes. Good luck. :)
Bankruptcy vs counseling
I went through an ugly, expensive divorce - after 22+ years. He had the girlfriend but he wanted me to loose everything and fought through several attorneys. I tried the counseling -- finally went through Christian counseling as their fees were the lowest and they seemed the most honest -- but after everything and to keep my house did file Chapter 13. I feel better doing the Chapter 13 as at least I am paying back something to everyone and did not leave them all hanging. Am paying back 25 cents on the dollar to credit cards. Just be careful should they offer you to cut down the balance if you will "pay in full" as what is not paid will be considered "income" and you have to pay income tax on it. I still do not feel good with doing the Chapter 13 and don't understand how a lot of people can do this several times as I saw in court when I went there. It is not easy to walk away from the debts that you made and truly owe but there are some circumstances that make it necessary. I for one am glad of the new laws as I don't think it is truly unfair to make people make an attempt to pay back what they owe, at least partial. Some of the counseling groups I talked with -- the ones with the best reputations-- were going to charge anywhere from $100 to $150 to handle my money and I could be putting that on a payment to a credit card and so Iooked long and hard. You can also negotiate directly with your credit cards but they put a "stop use" on them and you cannot be late with one payment. But make an attempt and you will feel better about yourself. Just my thoughts and experience. Patti
Credit counseling
Yes, it does go on your credit report. I explained this to my banker that I had not had a problem before in paying my bills, just that I had too many. My banker reviewed my payment history and still approved the loans I requested. Each case is individual, and going through credit counseling may or may not affect your ability to get loans in the future.
She needs to attend counseling regardless!
She will find a way around the restrictions you have imposed if she wants to keep losing weight. You cannot follow her around day and night. It is really easy to hide weight loss if one wants to. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to get a handle on later. It took me YEARS to overcome this myself. Hope it works out.
I agree, she does still need counseling...
She needs to meet with someone who knows how to handle a situation like this. Going to counseling might also help you both learn how to deal with her better too. I might also add, while what you say you are doing sounds good and I think you should stick with it, also think of ways you can add positive reinforcement too. I think it would do her a lot of good if Dad could spend a little more time with her, doing activities, talking more, etc, something that would bring them closer.
I have sought counseling myself--sm
online, but I was not too successful in finding anything that was free. I thought I had found one once, but after I submitted my questions, no one ever replied. Guess you have to be careful with that too, or you may find your personal problems pasted all over the internet. Try doing a search, you may end up being lucky and find something worthwhile. Good luck.
Oh, for Heaven's sake -
nm
I would do it again for my kids' sake, but sm
not because I enjoy it. If I could ever figure out what else I could do at home as a professional of some sort (rather than selling something), I'd be back to school to do it.
For heaven's sake! It's not THAT bad!
You can go to CareerStep, one of the "top 3" schools for about $1,600, and if you work at it you should be able to finish it in 9-12 months. As for purchasing equipment, you'll get a foot pedal with your course and Express Scribe (the software you'll use to actually transcribe) is free. You will have to buy a few reference books and some fairly cheap software--that all shouldn't run you more than $400-$500, tops. I'm assuming you already have a computer, or else how could you have posted this note?
Now, there are jobs being taken over by software and being outsourced to other countries. And there ARE doctors who dictate TERRIBLY. But there are still some decent jobs out there and decent doctors as well. If you work at it and sell yourself well, you should do okay. Good luck!
For Heaven's sake... don't do what I did!
I accepted a position with another company, turned in my resignation when I received the acceptance letter from the other company. Friday will be my last day on the job, and I have not heard from the other company as to downloading software on computer and my first day is supposed to be Monday. My employer has already hired someone in my place, so I can't ask for my old job back. The past several days I've sent out about 5 or so resume's to various companies.
for sanity's sake
I have been an MT/homeschooling mom for 7 years now. I work from 5:30am-9am and then from 7-10pm. We school from 9-12:30. I actually sit with my kids the whole time. They will do reading and some independent work in the evening(homework). From 1-5 is our park time, ballet, karate, etc. Fridays we have off for co-ops, field trips, and errands. This works great for us. Try finding a homeschool support group in your area so that you can get more involved. Your kids need it also. I am in Florida and here kids are allowed to participate in public and private school extracurricular activities. If you have older kids this may be a good option for them as well. But by finding a support group it will give you some interaction.
Please, just for my own sake, what money
do you think you would make as opposed to what you make per week now? Give me a ball park figure on your salary, do you work full or part and I will get back with you on this and let you know what I make doing VR, ok?
And for heaven's sake....
don't dictate in the bathroom. That's waaaaaay more than we want to hear!
For Pete's sake!!!
English is our official language. People should speak English fluently before even being hired for a job here unless it is of course labor, but even those people should be required to be in school learning English before being promoted to anything that has any level of responsibility!! I agree with the original poster and that does not make me a bigot. I am married to a Mexican and have half Mexican children but my husband was in school learning English when we were dating and I could type his dictations all day long if he were a doctor because he learned it fluently or I wouldn't have married him!! It gripes the heck out of me when I hear MTs make excuses for these people, and I am not talking about all foreigners. I am talking about the ones who speak such horrible English that it does not even sound like English and I would say after 9 years of doing this that equals about 2/3rds of them!! They should not even be allowed to practice medicine here. Would you want one of them operating on you?? Come on let's get real here!! Even my husband agrees so don't be calling anyone bigots when we are just being honest and real!! Also, if I were a business owner which I have been in the past I would never hire someone who did not speak English that is unintelligable and then I would probably be sued for discrimination, what a joke!! Don't you people realize that they are also affecting our business community, our economy??? Businesses cannot operate when there is bad communication or miscommunication, etc. Haven't you had things messed up because of getting an Indian on the phone from New Delhi and having to force them to put someone else on the line that can understand what you are even saying?? I had a plane reservation messed up for my 15 year old daughter flying across country because of a man screwing it all up because he did not speak well enough English to understand what I was saying. I won't name the airline but you never reach an English as a FIRST language speaking person and I will NEVER fly with them again!! People this is not just about our jobs, this actually can be dangerous!! I ALSO have discontinued all business with any of the other companies I did business with previously who when I call are Indian. That is a whole different issue though, the outsourcing, but they both gripe the heck out of me and it has nothing to do with them personally. I love everyone equally. I don't care what nationality they are, but you have to look at this practically not emotionally......
Oh for pity's sake
How about Americans get used to the fact that their country is a mixture of different peoples/culture/languages and try just a little harder to understand and be understood?
Or would that interfere too much with the American Arrogance factor? :)
For Pete's sake, let it go
Seriously. Let it go. See my post above re paranoid nuts.
I use that phrase all the time and my African American girlfriends call me Casper I'm so white.
I have some docs that say totals if counseling is
part of the visit as they get paid extra for the visit with certain insurances.
your whole family needs counseling - including you. nm
nm
SEEK MARRIAGE COUNSELING NOW!
You need to be telling this to a marriage counselor. If your husband won't go with you, go without him. It will give you the insight needed to make this tough decision.
Try debt counseling first - if that does not work - sm
it will at least look good to the judge when you declare bankruptcy. I do not regret declaring bankruptcy at all - got a lot of pressure off of me when I needed it. I started all over, and now I am so much wiser so I don't get in that circumstance again. It doesn't take long to rebuild, either.
You really need some counseling and anger management
tsk, tsk, tsk
Go to counseling and get guidance and structure.
It CAN work if he earns back your trust and is truly sorry. Counseling can help guide you through this process. It is truly worth a try. What have you got to lose? Good luck to you! :-)
Working on Master's in counseling and sm
I have had a hiatus of nearly 3 years. I could not decide if this is where I really wanted to go. Recently, I put myself back in therapy with my last therapist after a 5-year hiatus to help me decide. Two sessions and I can see the clear path back to it and yes, this is my "true calling."
I feel pushed to get out of MT because my hands are suffering after 15 years of this. I have 3 autoimmune disorders too. I am having energy problems and focus problems...pain and all that comes with AIs. I have trouble with consistently good line counts and I am working 2 jobs out of sheer boredom with the entire thing. It has nothing to do with no making as much money or ASR or any of it. It is my body telling me to move along. I also believe I would be happier as a counselor.
Glad you have your own space for your sake SM
Lots to discuss and now you can do it without us peering over your shoulder and commenting right and left. :) Good luck to all of you!
Oh, for Pete's sake, just hire another MT...sm
to cover the account if you want to take a vacation. If you are working as an IC, you should be able to pay more than enough to make it worth her while. Ideally, you get enough work to hire one more person to work with you, and the two of you work together to cover off times and sick days. Honestly, can't anyone think their way out of a paper bag?
For heaven's sake, where is your lawyer?
Your divorce is final in 2 weeks, and you're asking this super important question to MTs on a message board? PLEASE ask your lawyer.
For Cripee's sake! The question was
whether she had to work on the holidays if asked to do so. IF this person even had the slightest idea of what being an IC meant, he/she would never EVER have had to ask a bunch of strangers what she had to do! Basic running-your-own business 101. The IC is the one who calls the shots. Does The Donald ask his cooking staff if he has to work on Christmas? Does a CEO call his secretary and ask if he should work? ICs are ICs - the entire point is that YOU are your own boss and call the shots - not vice versa. Thus the danger to our industry for the REAL ICs - those who are so ignorant of this basic business practice are nothing more than employees, allowing the doctors to slack and not pay taxes, etc. And that is the antithesis of being an IC.
Oh for heaven's sake...if she knew how to...
do that, she wouldn't have a question! Anyway, what platform do you use? Most of the time you will find a folder in the "My Documents" folder or in the hard drive (go to "My Computer" and click on your hard drive--usually C:) by the same name as your platform. Inside that folder will be your templates. When you get there, you can press Ctrl and F together. A screen will come up asking what you want to search for. Click "All files and folders". Where it says "All of part of the file name:" put "*.dot" (without the quotes). This will find all of the templates within that folder. Hope this helps.
The family can get free counseling through hospice even
if their mother was not a hospice patient. They have programs that the family participates in together and just programs for kids too. If they are able to associate with other kids that have experienced what they have that would probably be a tremendous help. They don't just talk about their feelings, but do activities and play games and just be kids, but if the emotions come then there is a trained person to help them.
Sounds like the dad could use some counseling too and maybe just a break from being a parent 24/7.
For those who have used credit counseling services, what was your experience?
Some info on credit counseling vs bankruptcy
This is just a heads up for those that were questioning about your choices. I was doing some research on a cancellation of debt form - 1099-C that I am doing for my ex-husband as he never paid me the $9720 he owed me and found on a web page that some of the people that are going through Credit Counseling now are getting 1099-C for some canellation of the debt from credit card companies. If they forgive this debt, then you have to claim it on your income tax as "INCOME" so think about this in your situation. If you are going through a counseling agency ask them if any of your accounts can give you a 1099-C for anything that they forgive you and the only way that they can't is through Bankruptcy. So that is another consideration when wondering which way to go. As for me, I have a signed promissory note signed and it is not a verbal agreement, was not in the divorce and he just never paid. So I get to put on 12 years of interest at 10% plus late fees and he will end up paying the IRS instead of me but I get a tax deduction of $3000 per year until the 21K is used up. So that is fine, he doesn't have to pay me and I will cancel out his debt, but Uncle Sam is not as forgiving as me. But I wanted everyone to be aware of this as it tempting to pay a credit card company only 50% of what you owe them but thing of putting that other 50% on your income tax forms. Patti
From the sounds of it grief counseling may be in order -sm
My mom died 9/04 after 9 weeks in the hospital (as was recovering nicely too) so her death was actually quite unexpected. Considering how close we were I have handled it quite well (we talked on the phone almost every day and I visited at least 6 x a year). I never really cried though, don't know if that is good or not, yes I get teary, but I never broke down or anything. I just withdrew into myself I guess as part of me died that day. I had a rough patch in 02/05 that lasted about a month or so, but for my daughter's sake I had to pull myself out of my funk. I don't think I every really got to fully grieve though as then my dad met his girlfriend < 3 months after my mom died then got engaged 2 months later, then Jen got diagnosed with cancer, had surgery/chemo, my dad married 9 months after my mom died, etc. I can go days w/o thinking about my mom, though I loved her very much. So either I am in denial, cold-hearted, or just deal with things quickly. I don't believe you should dwell on things. Life keeps on going and there is nothing you can do about that but live your life the best you can. But if you are still so upset and cry a lot then I really think you should seek out a grief therapist so you can learn how to cope and move on. This doesn't mean you have to forget you dad by any means. I still "talk" to my mom though I have no grave to visit or anything as she donated her body to science so I have no clue where she actually is now but I like to think her spirit is here with me and that makes me feel good.
Is there a free online counseling service?
My daughter, who is 33, is married with 1 child - every time something goes wrong in her marriage or job, she calls me and I'm supposed to solve all her problems. I have asked her repeatedly to go to a counselor, but usually when she calls, it is in the evening. By the next day or Monday, the problem has gone away temporarily and then she doesn't get the help she needs again.
Does anybody know if online counseling is available that is free, other than this message board ?  I guess I'm thinking of someone with an actual degree?
It was a joke for goodness sake. Get a sense of
What's the problem? You don't like jokes, you feel the need to defend George, or someone steal your thunder? Sheesh.
For goodness sake, this has nothing to do with MQ it is about a totally different company I am
looking into. Geez.
Oh, for Heaven's sake - if you don't like it just don't reply. Grow up.
nm
Oh, for cripes' sake. I just voted Thumbs Down
I guess you have to vote Thumbs Up to get the 10 votes to have it removed (Reason drop-down: Solicitation of business, or something like that ... I can't vote again now to see what it was)
Anyone have any GOOD experiences with a credit counseling service/
If so who were they and what did they do?
For goodness sake, if you're going to drag the Bible into it
you might read the part about man being created separately in God's image. In the Old Testament, there are distinctly different punishments for killing a man and killing a beast. Now, no doubt God loves animals and they will be in heaven, but I can assure you, God has not created man and animal on the same level.
Oh for Pete's sake! Had Internet access long?
sheesh
For Pete's sake, if you're too sick to work,
call in sick!!
This past week I've had chronic sinus drainage and a nagging,constant cough that has kept me up most of the night. Felt okay during the day,(although typing speed decreased significantly).Was able to take cat naps off and on during the day to make up for lack of sleep, otherwise,I wouldn't have hesitated to take a day or two off.
If I'm "really" sick,I call in for a sick day without hesitation!!
Working on my Masters in Counseling Psych. I should be done in Summer 2007.
x
I've had a sniffler - blow your nose for heaven's sake!
It's CHINA for Pete's sake, where they still kill girl babies. Do you think
they have some sort of dog euthanasia patrol of paid government employees? Puhleeeze yourself.
HIPAA is a joke, The majority of reports go to 3rd world countries, for pete's sake. nm
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