From the sounds of it grief counseling may be in order -sm
Posted By: Laura E. on 2006-03-27
In Reply to: Lost my dad in October...still crying every day...could use some help (sm) - wimt
My mom died 9/04 after 9 weeks in the hospital (as was recovering nicely too) so her death was actually quite unexpected. Considering how close we were I have handled it quite well (we talked on the phone almost every day and I visited at least 6 x a year). I never really cried though, don't know if that is good or not, yes I get teary, but I never broke down or anything. I just withdrew into myself I guess as part of me died that day. I had a rough patch in 02/05 that lasted about a month or so, but for my daughter's sake I had to pull myself out of my funk. I don't think I every really got to fully grieve though as then my dad met his girlfriend < 3 months after my mom died then got engaged 2 months later, then Jen got diagnosed with cancer, had surgery/chemo, my dad married 9 months after my mom died, etc. I can go days w/o thinking about my mom, though I loved her very much. So either I am in denial, cold-hearted, or just deal with things quickly. I don't believe you should dwell on things. Life keeps on going and there is nothing you can do about that but live your life the best you can. But if you are still so upset and cry a lot then I really think you should seek out a grief therapist so you can learn how to cope and move on. This doesn't mean you have to forget you dad by any means. I still "talk" to my mom though I have no grave to visit or anything as she donated her body to science so I have no clue where she actually is now but I like to think her spirit is here with me and that makes me feel good.
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sounds like saturated order? sm
...drainage from her abdominal incision saturated?? order received....
Consider counseling
Sometimes an objective opinion from a person you respect can give you some insight that you have disregarded or give you positive suggestions on improving your life. It's worth a try.
counseling is a must.
I have only been married 4-1/2 years myself, so I am not an expert in this field, but I think you need to do everyting in your power to make this marriage work before you call it quits. Whether your husband will agree to go to couseling or not, YOU need to see someone (marraige couseler, pastor, etc.). If you can get your husband to go, that's awesome. He may take the advice differently if it is coming from someone other than you. Men tend to think we nag a little! I have never been to marriage counseling, and I have never been in a situation like yours, but if I were, I think I would give it my all before I throw in the towel!
Why don't you go to counseling with him?
At least once - and ask for help in dealing with his calls...
It really is an illness.
Wow you need some seriously counseling. sm
I am very very sad for you. What a very shallow and pathetic thing to do.
Please, go get counseling before you give up ---
It can really help you two see things in a different light and get to what is really going on. My situation was nothing like yours (different issues) when we decided to get counseling after 17 years of marriage. I was very doubtful it would help one bit and was ready to just get out. After 4 weeks we made some changes, did some reading, talked things over together and with the counselor, and today my marriage is better than it has ever been. I think it can be done if BOTH parties are willing to give and make some changes. Good luck. :)
Bankruptcy vs counseling
I went through an ugly, expensive divorce - after 22+ years. He had the girlfriend but he wanted me to loose everything and fought through several attorneys. I tried the counseling -- finally went through Christian counseling as their fees were the lowest and they seemed the most honest -- but after everything and to keep my house did file Chapter 13. I feel better doing the Chapter 13 as at least I am paying back something to everyone and did not leave them all hanging. Am paying back 25 cents on the dollar to credit cards. Just be careful should they offer you to cut down the balance if you will "pay in full" as what is not paid will be considered "income" and you have to pay income tax on it. I still do not feel good with doing the Chapter 13 and don't understand how a lot of people can do this several times as I saw in court when I went there. It is not easy to walk away from the debts that you made and truly owe but there are some circumstances that make it necessary. I for one am glad of the new laws as I don't think it is truly unfair to make people make an attempt to pay back what they owe, at least partial. Some of the counseling groups I talked with -- the ones with the best reputations-- were going to charge anywhere from $100 to $150 to handle my money and I could be putting that on a payment to a credit card and so Iooked long and hard. You can also negotiate directly with your credit cards but they put a "stop use" on them and you cannot be late with one payment. But make an attempt and you will feel better about yourself. Just my thoughts and experience. Patti
Credit counseling
Yes, it does go on your credit report. I explained this to my banker that I had not had a problem before in paying my bills, just that I had too many. My banker reviewed my payment history and still approved the loans I requested. Each case is individual, and going through credit counseling may or may not affect your ability to get loans in the future.
She needs to attend counseling regardless!
She will find a way around the restrictions you have imposed if she wants to keep losing weight. You cannot follow her around day and night. It is really easy to hide weight loss if one wants to. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to get a handle on later. It took me YEARS to overcome this myself. Hope it works out.
I agree, she does still need counseling...
She needs to meet with someone who knows how to handle a situation like this. Going to counseling might also help you both learn how to deal with her better too. I might also add, while what you say you are doing sounds good and I think you should stick with it, also think of ways you can add positive reinforcement too. I think it would do her a lot of good if Dad could spend a little more time with her, doing activities, talking more, etc, something that would bring them closer.
I have sought counseling myself--sm
online, but I was not too successful in finding anything that was free. I thought I had found one once, but after I submitted my questions, no one ever replied. Guess you have to be careful with that too, or you may find your personal problems pasted all over the internet. Try doing a search, you may end up being lucky and find something worthwhile. Good luck.
I have some docs that say totals if counseling is
part of the visit as they get paid extra for the visit with certain insurances.
your whole family needs counseling - including you. nm
nm
SEEK MARRIAGE COUNSELING NOW!
You need to be telling this to a marriage counselor. If your husband won't go with you, go without him. It will give you the insight needed to make this tough decision.
Try debt counseling first - if that does not work - sm
it will at least look good to the judge when you declare bankruptcy. I do not regret declaring bankruptcy at all - got a lot of pressure off of me when I needed it. I started all over, and now I am so much wiser so I don't get in that circumstance again. It doesn't take long to rebuild, either.
You really need some counseling and anger management
tsk, tsk, tsk
Go to counseling and get guidance and structure.
It CAN work if he earns back your trust and is truly sorry. Counseling can help guide you through this process. It is truly worth a try. What have you got to lose? Good luck to you! :-)
Working on Master's in counseling and sm
I have had a hiatus of nearly 3 years. I could not decide if this is where I really wanted to go. Recently, I put myself back in therapy with my last therapist after a 5-year hiatus to help me decide. Two sessions and I can see the clear path back to it and yes, this is my "true calling."
I feel pushed to get out of MT because my hands are suffering after 15 years of this. I have 3 autoimmune disorders too. I am having energy problems and focus problems...pain and all that comes with AIs. I have trouble with consistently good line counts and I am working 2 jobs out of sheer boredom with the entire thing. It has nothing to do with no making as much money or ASR or any of it. It is my body telling me to move along. I also believe I would be happier as a counselor.
The family can get free counseling through hospice even
if their mother was not a hospice patient. They have programs that the family participates in together and just programs for kids too. If they are able to associate with other kids that have experienced what they have that would probably be a tremendous help. They don't just talk about their feelings, but do activities and play games and just be kids, but if the emotions come then there is a trained person to help them.
Sounds like the dad could use some counseling too and maybe just a break from being a parent 24/7.
Get marital counseling for the sake of your children.
You probably could stay there your entire life and manage but the kids deserve better.
For those who have used credit counseling services, what was your experience?
Some info on credit counseling vs bankruptcy
This is just a heads up for those that were questioning about your choices. I was doing some research on a cancellation of debt form - 1099-C that I am doing for my ex-husband as he never paid me the $9720 he owed me and found on a web page that some of the people that are going through Credit Counseling now are getting 1099-C for some canellation of the debt from credit card companies. If they forgive this debt, then you have to claim it on your income tax as "INCOME" so think about this in your situation. If you are going through a counseling agency ask them if any of your accounts can give you a 1099-C for anything that they forgive you and the only way that they can't is through Bankruptcy. So that is another consideration when wondering which way to go. As for me, I have a signed promissory note signed and it is not a verbal agreement, was not in the divorce and he just never paid. So I get to put on 12 years of interest at 10% plus late fees and he will end up paying the IRS instead of me but I get a tax deduction of $3000 per year until the 21K is used up. So that is fine, he doesn't have to pay me and I will cancel out his debt, but Uncle Sam is not as forgiving as me. But I wanted everyone to be aware of this as it tempting to pay a credit card company only 50% of what you owe them but thing of putting that other 50% on your income tax forms. Patti
Is there a free online counseling service?
My daughter, who is 33, is married with 1 child - every time something goes wrong in her marriage or job, she calls me and I'm supposed to solve all her problems. I have asked her repeatedly to go to a counselor, but usually when she calls, it is in the evening. By the next day or Monday, the problem has gone away temporarily and then she doesn't get the help she needs again.
Does anybody know if online counseling is available that is free, other than this message board ?  I guess I'm thinking of someone with an actual degree?
Anyone have any GOOD experiences with a credit counseling service/
If so who were they and what did they do?
Working on my Masters in Counseling Psych. I should be done in Summer 2007.
x
***grief (nm)
x
Oh good grief
Whoever started this, "It's your responsibility to look up an address" should be drawn and quartered. Leave the secretarial work for the person who gets paid by the hour.
Good grief
OMG! You have got to be kidding yourself here. First, Barney is Zipper, MQLover, Frankie Boy who ever else you accused and now she is MQ whiner? Listen to yourself. 
Good grief!!!
Reading these costs of living it's no wonder people are so grouchy all the time. I've always been pretty frugal...no mortgage, no car note, no credit card bills. Total expenses including food, probably under $1000 month, don't keep track. We spend a lot on eating out and just generally having fun. Simple 2 BR 1 Bath house on 8 acres, One Ford F150 that's 6 years old, one Dodge Ram that's 4 years old. Living just the way we like it...not having to worry about drowning. Not exactly paupers, total income around $7500/month.
oh good grief
lol
But don't you get grief for sending
too much to QA? I know I am only allowed a certain percentage, so I am still going back over the audio 2 or 3 times to try to stay within my allowed percentage (and why I have crap for production). However, I think it stinks that one could easily get a whole batch of dictations by the same nasty dictator and your sending-stuff-to-QA stats go down the dumper. And of course, the worse the dictator, the more he/she dictates and the longer they are, according to the MT Murphy's law!
I haven't gotten any grief yet....
as these particular ESLs are supposedly the worst in the hospital and I am sure many other MTs are sending their hole-y reports to QA. I am supposed to keep my QA below a certain percent and I do that 99% of the time because I only get these ESLs maybe one day a week, so evidently since I haven't heard from "Big Brother", I guess my sending-stuff-to-QA percentage is within the guidelines. What get me is that when dictating these guys stink, but just wait until they have to turn around to talk to a colleague. Then, they can speak perfectly.... That just makes me crazy !!!!!
Oh good grief. (nm)
wwww
Good Grief!
The average Joe should be SO LUCKY to have a 6.4 or 4% decline in wages! Health care keeps going up and the doctors keep raking in the dough left and right. If you can't see that, there's something terribly wrong.
good grief!
 I hope you are okay. Did anyone see that show on the health channel last week where the little girl about 12 was trying to purge and put her fork down her throat and it slipped? The tines were barely seen in the back of her throat. Talk about scary!
good grief!
Don't you have anything better to be so judgemental about! Withholding help just because of the way someone *wrote* something! What difference does it make? This is a *forum*, not a federal document!
Good grief
I am very sorry to hear things are rough for you right now, and well wishes for you and your family.
You have always been so helpful here, and know that many of us appreciate your insightful take on the issues we all share as MTs.
Good grief
I am very sorry to hear things are rough for you right now, and well wishes for you and your family.
You have always been so helpful here, and know that many of us appreciate you sharing your insightful approach to the issues we all share as MTs.
Good Grief
Scary isn't it? I agree, I would "accidentally" forward to a higher upper. This is totally ridiculous.
Oh, good grief.
Why does everyone think that they should only get the type of work that they want? It is up to the employer to see that ALL the work gets done and sometimes you may have to do something you don't like. Granted, you should not have been told that you wouldn't have to do DS. However, to say that you were lied to is a bit over the top, don't you think?
With all the griping that goes on on this board about work going overseas, to sit here and complain about the work that you do get is non-productive whining.
Good grief!
Can't even imagine working without a spell check of some kind. Am wondering if there are programs that you can download on the computer you use...even having to re-download every day? Sure hope you can get it "fixed" -
Good grief--
It was meant as sarcasm-- I guess you didn't "get it". What I meant by it is why was HE worried about not speaking English when none of the ESLs give a rip.
Good grief you don't get it do you? sm
When this all started it started with someone posting about not wanting to work weekends, holidays, nights, when their kids were at a soccer game, blah blah.
You people have absolutely taken one post and stretched it all out shape.
I am neither bitter or miserable in my profession. But, the posters who whine about hours and days and no work when they want work are the ones who are bitter.
Seems to me the ones that are complaining about all that are the ones that don't have a positive attitude as you like to put it.
I am not on a pedestal and I don't think I am better than anyone. But, I also know what it takes to make it in this profession......a lot of hard work over the YEARS and willingness to hang in there. I see people on here who have been in this profession 2-3 years and have worked for 5-6 MTSOs! How the heck do you get anywhere job hopping like that? IMO you shouldn't even be working for an MTSO at that point.
I really don't care if you or any of the other whiners and complainers give a rip what I think. The profession is the way it is. Its not going to change to suit those who don't want to work and it may even get worse.
Get use to it or get out. Keep complaining about no work, no work when you want it, weekends, nights and holidays. Waste your time. I am going back to work.
As for myself and others like me who have done this for years, we will have a job when you are out looking for a job at Walmart. Personally I am glad, at least some of the whiners will get weeded out.
good grief
That sounds like a gigantic mess. I'm glad I bailed when I did.
Good grief!
IF you have your own company
IF you have good employees
IF you can find accounts that will pay well
IF...IF...IF
Just trying to figure out, as long as they're making claims, why stop at 60K?!!
good grief. ESL saying, "intermittent" LOL
Good grief!!! At least she uses a bb name, unlike...
those (yourself included) who only add a few words in the signature line and never use a "name" twice.
Geesh.
Good grief, you are way off the beam....sm
What is appropriate is that the patient's doctor asked for blessings over this patient's health. What IS inappropriate is *your* interpretation of appropriate and inappropriate. I sure hope you never transcribe my reports and become the filter for or against information that is put in my records!
Good grief. The point is that it
isn't 'whining' to state that MTs have to have much experience & knowledge, and there are a lot of physical effects and mental strain, and considering all of that, the pay is really lacking in our profession. Those are the facts. An IC at 8 cpl is AWFUL pay, by the way. Just because you don't think you deserve any better than that doesn't mean the rest of us feel that way.
Good grief. I hope you are kidding, please. nm
..
Good grief! Housekeeper in the South? SM
If you are set on housekeeping, I do know people who clean houses for a living and do very well. One woman even went on to own her own business. But in a HOTEL? I'm sorry to say this, but are you nuts?
If your MT skills need polishing, there are different tapes and courses and WHATEVER you can use. Perhaps someone here can assist you.
As another 50 something year old woman, who works for a National, so far I have made $30,000 this year. I realize that is not a lot of money, I'm not exactly busting my behind, but you can make money. Please stick this thing out. Housekeeping is not an option, except in one's own home.
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