Do you come first in your husband's life?
Posted By: questions on 2005-11-26
In Reply to:
or are the feelings of others such as parents and/or children top priority?
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At least I live my OWN life and not my husband's
You have described perfectly my life with my husband -sm
I feel completely trapped. I'm the one supporting the family. I'm the one who takes the blame for everything that has ever gone wrong in his life, even when it comes to those things that happened to him long before I ever met him.
The only good thing he has ever done is give me two beautiful children. That's all.
Wish I could get the heck out too.
I have 2 Heroes in my life - My daddy and my husband. sm
I truly am blessed! My daddy (step-dad) married my mom with 6 of us kids and took care of us all. He is my hero! Don't know much of my real dad as he left when I was 2. Been told he was abusive and an alcoholic. Better that I have no experience with him, I guess.
Now, my daddy (step-dad) is not just a father but a DAD! He is my hero. He taught me how to be a good person, provide for myself, be confident, strong and gentle! He is an awesome pop-pop too!
Secondly, my husband is my other Hero! I am a very strong, confident person, and a little on the hyper side. He is just the most laid-back, gentle, understanding and kind man I have ever met. Been married 18 years and still going strong. To be honest, his father is the same as him.
So, if you are looking for a good man - I guess meet their fathers and judge for yourself. Most men are like their fathers just like most daughters are like their mothers. Hope that makes sense!
I am sorry for your situation and hope you find the strength and courage to move on and, if and when ready, find a good man!
You haaven't knocked off the husband for the life insurance yet?? You have options, she may not!
 
My husband just signed up for group life insurance with work which will give him 10x his salary if
he dies which will leave the kids and I with almost a million bucks if he dies. Of course I would much rather have him here more than anything. He had just 150,000 in insurance but for some reason just opted for this group thingie. When talking last night I asked him if he died if I could marry again and this man got so upset with me I thought he was going to cry! He told me absolutely, positively NOT that I could not remarry ( am 31!). He is 35. LOL
Poor guy. Leaving me all this money and I supose the thought of me sharing his wealth with someone else makes him sick!!
I told him he could go ahead and marry if I should happen to die. I want my kiddies to have a great mom and person who loves them very much. Wouldn't you agree?
How do you feel about your spouse or partner remarrying if you or he dies??
DH is dear husband or any number of colorful adjectives preceding husband. (no message)
;)
Life is life....the haven't bonded the same as if it were a 2-year-old!
nm
I totally understand but if your husband is like my husband... sm
When it comes to something like that, that I usually take care of but for whatever reason I can't, I will tell my husband exactly what to do, but when he comes back - to use your case as a "for instance" - I will ask him, "Did the doctor look at his foot?"
Him: "No."
Me: "Did you ask the doctor to look at his foot?"
Him: "No."
Me: "I told you to have the doctor look at his foot!"
Him: (shrug)
etc., etc., etc.
Your husband may not be like that - I sure hope he isn't. And yes, they should have checked his vitals and checked his foot without being asked. But sometimes you have to be assertive with people. And while my husband attained the rank of major in the Air Force and had no trouble ordering people around, there are times when he should be assertive but isn't. And he is not intimidated by doctors - he started his AF career as an x-ray tech (that's how we met). I dunno....(Rad MT wanders off, mumbling....)
I make sure the job is not my life and that it does not take over my life. sm
I have been at this 25 years, even once had my own accounts and worked 24/7 with cat naps to keep going but no real sleep. I really burned myself out. Now I work a regular 40-hour week, but it is not my life. It is a means of making money so I can go live my life. I work for a company that is not all about production. They want us to take our time and do it right. I am doing that, and it feels so good to be able to work at my craft and be allowed to do a good job while I am at work.
But after I get off, I have my family and I take time to have fun and enjoy life. I think that is the key to not staying burned out. You need down time, time to have fun, exercise, relax, etc.
Exercise is very important, too. It rejuvenates the hormone system so you have more positive hormones flowing through your body and helps get rid of stress.
That's what I do.
I'm the one who needs to get a life?
You people are the ones laughing at people behind their backs. Typical female, backstabbing, egotistical snobs. Exactly why most of you can't handle working in an office. Thanks anyway, but my life doesn't include ridiculing people for me own ego. You go right ahead. Feel good about yourself.
Never in my life
 I guess I have led a sheltered life. I never in my entire life heard about so many companies bouncing checks in this business! I would be out the door so fast, there'd be no dust behind me. Have I just been lucky?
I have a life.
It's not a money issue. I have hobbies but the winters are long and cold and I'm not a winter outddoors person, only summer and I have no child. Kinda of a workaholic.
Yes, I live a simplier life.
Get a life b.
I didn't realize it was intentionally setting a flame by telling people you like where you work instead of the freaks who come on here constantly complaining about their jobs. Most of you only want to hear negative things and not positives, so when someone posts something positive, you jump all over them. I think you need to grow up b.
Get a life.
Whatever fugly trash. If you want more, keep it coming.
Don't even try to top my life
you old decrepit piece of trailer trash. I will win hands down every time. Now go to bed and dream about the love of your life,your horse, Mr. Ed.
No, I sure don't come first in his life.
he does of me. Seems like his loyalty lies there. I don't think he ever learned the "leave and cleave" thing. And our kids are very important to him. He makes it abundantly clear that I am not top priority. Sometimes I daydream that I meet someone who really loves me and run away with him.
in whose life? *lol*......nm
x
in whose life? *LOL*......nm
x
nothing in life is ever as it seems...sm
you all might be able to *read* all this supposed goodness but some might see it differently.....as some are better readers of others in life, perhaps more intuitive..
in the life..............................nm
x
LOL everyone in my life has always said....sm
Everyone in my life has always said I should be a *comedienne*...... they ALL cannot be wrong as they all do not know each other. I do see myself as *entertaining* others. *winks*
However, I don't like lazy people. I'm the first one to help on these boards, unless they really don't help themselves.....just the way I am.....
Be well.......loved your reaction!! Oh and the one under it, who also LOL. 
It is her life, but you can still try to help her
I agree, abortion is wrong, she would be making a bad decision that she might later regret very deeply. It is her life (but not just her body involved anymore--there's another living being whose body is growing inside hers), but you can still try to help her. She may not want to listen, and if not, then you've done what you can and she has to live with the consequences of her own decisions. There are many good resources available, such as National Right to Life at nrlc.com (http://www.nrlc.org/abortion/index.html) and various Catholic organizations, with a lot of information available about the negative effects of abortion. She won't get that type of info from Planned Profithood--they just want to put as many women through the mill as they can. Learn about it yourself and then share the information with her. You may at least be able to persuade her not to kill the baby but to put it up for adoption instead. She may also be interested in the negative health effects of a promiscuous lifestyle (such as increased risk for cervical cancer in women). Good luck to you.
WHY? Get a life.
x
Well, it's his life, isn't it? (sm)
Sounds like you're more upset about the lack of respect than your son's happiness.
your life
It sounds to me that you are one of those people who takes care of everyone but themselves and as Dr. Phil says, you must be getting a payback from it. I don't know how old you are, but you sound young. One thing I know for sure is that you will never change your brothers so don't even bother trying. It's not your job. Let them live their lives and you live yours. If you are choosing to do what you are doing, i.e.working working working and giving giving giving then so be it. Not everybody is like that. You have to ask yourself why your mom keeps allowing you to do as much as you are doing for her without helping herself. I'm no expert but if you continue on this way, something's gonna snap.
Life
You have probably reached your limit. The most I have worked for is 3 companies at once and I did not have a life to speak of outside of work. I am working for a national now - and you have to break your neck to transcribe a line - they may pay higher than a small local company - but their line lengths or the ESLs prevent you from transcribing per hour your real potential. I wouldn't take on the neurology group unless I was just desperate for the $$. You could take it, though, and subcontract it to your friend - with her as an IC. Check the IRS website to get the specifics on subcontracting or "hiring" an IC and what it means to your bottom line. Hope this helps.
Get a life!
MTs come on here to vent and our fingers get to flying and we don't sit there and edit our posts. We do enough of that when working.
Life after MT at age 58
 For those of you who are happy MT'g, I am glad for you. This is for those who are not. Just to let you know, at the age of 58, I am going into a customer service career for an auto company's financial division, and will be making more than thirty thousand a year - so yes, it can be done. My only qualification was that at one time for about five months I gave real estate a try - not my forte, didn't like the driving, people not showing up, etc. So yes, you can still do something else, don't give up if you really can't tolerate it any more. There is hope!
I also have a life ---
that is why I want to work smarter when I am working and get it done so I can live my life...
You need a life...
nm
Actually, that's my life, not like : ) - nm
xx
Thank you, I will be out getting a life (nm)
*
to Wow! Get over yourself , a job and a life.sm
This is my post that you criticize; it has 2 'tiny' typos, namely 'd' instead of 's' and 'a' instead of 's':
......'because I find it faster my way, ONLINE.
You are using bookd, the old-fashioned way?
Expensive and much too slow.
I checked the yesterday'a and today's questions in the afternoon and found - as already said - only 1 somehow unjustifiable question.
To check 1 day would have been enough.
I research ONLINE
with fast and accurate results. The internet is literally swamped with resources and references and is the fastest way. You should try it.
Are you still looking into books? Way too slow.
So, do not blow this out of proportion.
If you have the urge to teach and to guide, open your own MT school and give your advice there.'
----------
ARE YOU SO BORED AND UNEMPLOYED THAT YOU HAVE TO PLAY 'TYPO POLICE?'
great too, but only in this life!
x
oh well. no one said life was fair
you just have to make what you can out of it. There are many, many other subjects that can be debated as well. That is what makes life what it is; a great variety of people and view points. Enjoy the day.
When looking back over one's life...
take a break.. you deserve it!
You really need to get a woman in your life!
nm
looks to me like he's got enough women in his life (sm)
he has all of us! Lucky man, kyradmt!
What is a *good* life?
If you are talking material things, forget that - they need to be with you. If you give up your children, they will never forgive you and YOU will never forgive you. This advice would be different it you were pregnant, then I would say, yes, give the baby to someone who can care for it. That is love.
If you are talking any kind of abuse, get them someplace safe. No child should have to live with drug abuse, or any kind of emotional, physical, or sex abuse.
Fad clothes, iPods, cellphones, etc., are not the ingredients of a good life. You know that. Take care and good luck to you.
Life begins at 50!
My kids are grown, gone & happy.
My second husband is absolutely my best friend.
I have an exciting and highly rewarding job in the MT industry, where I am a valuable member ot the team.
Okay...two out of three ain't bad. 
P.S. Please get a life outside of this board. nm.
nm.
wild life
Lets just leave the wild life alone, ya know? *Man* has screwed enough up on this beautiful earth..Leave the wild life alone.
I have the same problem and have all of my life. sm
Had an array of tests and nothing abnormal showed, even thyroid was normal. There may be nothing wrong, just your unique anatomy and body. At least that was the doctor's conclusion for my problem.
Get this, my body temperature is always 96.8 to 97.5 range and I am always "warm to hot". I can go outside in the snow without a coat and not get cold - go figure! It is not menopause - I am in my 30's and was even tested for that.
life is too short
Just chalk it up to your value system being different from your value system. Nothing dumb about it. I have seen the same happen.
My life is pathetic. *sm*
I work outside the home and I make a good wage/yearly income. I took up medical transcription on the side in hopes that some day I could work from home. I have to travel almost an hour to work each way and I live where we have major snow and ice storms and the older I get, the more anxiety I get about driving in this weather. My husband hasn't been able to find a good job (he works about 30 hours a week at a dead-end job with no benefits) and I have a son in college. I find that I work all the time with almost no social life. I also have friends and relatives who seem to be working more than one job either both jobs outside the home or one job outside the home and then doing something on line. No matter how much I work, I never seem to be able to get ahead and it scares me. I do not have an extravagent home nor do I drive a newer vehicle. What is wrong with us that we have to work more than one job to make a living and how am I going to face retirement? I am thinking I will have to do medical transcription from home until I can no longer see and just pray that it is still around. I never in a million years thought that my life would end up like this. I should have listened to everyone when they said it was just as easy to marry a rich guy as it is a poor one.
Life is too short
to let these kind of games drag you down. You know what you contributed and "she" knows you are the one who provided the original data. She will have to live with her dishonest type of manipulation. You cannot change her, you can only change how you react to her.
Keep doing a terrific job for your own satisfaction. The only person you need to "oneup" is yourself. Set goals to outdo yourself and know that the better you do, the more satisfying your job will be. It takes 2 people to play the game. I suggest you bow out of the game and it takes away the fun for the other person.
I have been there too. It will happen anywhere you work if you "play the game." The choice is yours. I hope this helps. I only mean it in a supportive way.
Life just isn't fair sm
Hubby and I went out for breakfast this morning and came back to a voicemail that his best friend's 5-year-old boy died overnight from the flu/aspiration pneumonia/ complications. Life just isn't fair. This family has had a ton of tragedies over the last year and now this right on New Year's Day. The mother and I were just talking at the Christmas party about decent schools in their locale. They need some prayers, please.
my life is pathetic
You sound so cruel in your reply. What if you had not found another man who was nice. What if you were still with your rich ex? I cannot believe that you would say such a cruel thing to this woman ESP. when you have been through the same experience yourself!! Not everyone gets a second chance to find a better person and/or life like you did. You need to apologize PROFUSELY to "my life is pathetic." I've had my "down" times, and as YOU should know, it is not easy to keep a happy face and have hope for the future. Again, you just got lucky; not ALL of us get that second "lucky" chance for a better life. Step back and take a look at yourself!!!!!
Reclaim your life
I married a man and stayed married to him for 18 years, until he died. I never really admitted how miserable he was to my daughter, all the while putting his children on a pedestal and worship given in regular doses! After he died, my daughter moved back home with me and now, at 32, she is telling me she was never so happy as she was the day he died. She felt she was able to have a relationship with me, finally. Your children's wellbeing is just too important to waste on a person who is shortsighted and selfish with his love. We've been on our own now and even older it has not been easy, there were a few major surprises when he died, but he died as he lived and I never stood up to him and told him really off and to treat my daughter with respect .. in fact, he was disrespecting me by treating her so badly and so is your husband disrespecting you. I think you know what is in your heart .. have the strength and courage to do what you know is right and believe me, your life will improve with a few bumps along the way, mine has.
but she is 19 and it IS her body/life....nm
x
been this way my entire life ....N/M
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