Bankruptcy vs counseling
Posted By: Patti on 2006-03-07
In Reply to: Has anyone used a credit counseling service to consolidate credit cards? - Credit cards are out of control!!
I went through an ugly, expensive divorce - after 22+ years. He had the girlfriend but he wanted me to loose everything and fought through several attorneys. I tried the counseling -- finally went through Christian counseling as their fees were the lowest and they seemed the most honest -- but after everything and to keep my house did file Chapter 13. I feel better doing the Chapter 13 as at least I am paying back something to everyone and did not leave them all hanging. Am paying back 25 cents on the dollar to credit cards. Just be careful should they offer you to cut down the balance if you will "pay in full" as what is not paid will be considered "income" and you have to pay income tax on it. I still do not feel good with doing the Chapter 13 and don't understand how a lot of people can do this several times as I saw in court when I went there. It is not easy to walk away from the debts that you made and truly owe but there are some circumstances that make it necessary. I for one am glad of the new laws as I don't think it is truly unfair to make people make an attempt to pay back what they owe, at least partial. Some of the counseling groups I talked with -- the ones with the best reputations-- were going to charge anywhere from $100 to $150 to handle my money and I could be putting that on a payment to a credit card and so Iooked long and hard. You can also negotiate directly with your credit cards but they put a "stop use" on them and you cannot be late with one payment. But make an attempt and you will feel better about yourself. Just my thoughts and experience. Patti
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Some info on credit counseling vs bankruptcy
This is just a heads up for those that were questioning about your choices. I was doing some research on a cancellation of debt form - 1099-C that I am doing for my ex-husband as he never paid me the $9720 he owed me and found on a web page that some of the people that are going through Credit Counseling now are getting 1099-C for some canellation of the debt from credit card companies. If they forgive this debt, then you have to claim it on your income tax as "INCOME" so think about this in your situation. If you are going through a counseling agency ask them if any of your accounts can give you a 1099-C for anything that they forgive you and the only way that they can't is through Bankruptcy. So that is another consideration when wondering which way to go. As for me, I have a signed promissory note signed and it is not a verbal agreement, was not in the divorce and he just never paid. So I get to put on 12 years of interest at 10% plus late fees and he will end up paying the IRS instead of me but I get a tax deduction of $3000 per year until the 21K is used up. So that is fine, he doesn't have to pay me and I will cancel out his debt, but Uncle Sam is not as forgiving as me. But I wanted everyone to be aware of this as it tempting to pay a credit card company only 50% of what you owe them but thing of putting that other 50% on your income tax forms. Patti
MQ-Bankruptcy
I don't think that you would have to worry about MQ going the bankruptcy route but I would think that they would be bought out by someone else. I don't know what numbers that other person is looking at and giving such a rosey picture about MQ but all you have to do is read the latest SEC filing report that MQ put out on Aug 19th . Due to their problems with the SEC, all financial manners need to be made public so this info is out there for anyone to see. They clearly stated that they expected their revenue to continue to decline and it also states the millions that are being spent on lawyers for the 6 lawsuits and the amount of money spent on buy out contracts for the higher ups, the amount is unbelievable and keep in mind that as far as I know, now of the lawsuits are settled so the lawyer fees will continue rising. Go to Yahoo stocks, put in Medquist and you can read all this yourself. I think their stock is under MEDQ. If anything they are setting themselves up to be bought out by someone else. Anyone else have any thoughts on this???
Bankruptcy or not??
I am deeply in debt after the birth of my son with a pending law suit. Have any of you declared bankruptcy to later regret it. Right now it looks like a good option but I am not quite sure I am ready to give up quite yet. Any options or advice would be appreciated.
Thanks
Bankruptcy
We just filed bankruptcy last year, chpt 13. The only regret I have is that I put myself in the situation of being in trouble. We were about to be sued also, but a company that we were actually making payments to and I was in contact with them every week. I previously did collections, so knew communication was key, or so I thought. I do not regret filing it, as it is a lot less, a whole lot less stressful since we filed. I just have guilt about being in that situation. I think you have to realize that the relief of the stress of a bad financial situation can be very good. My husband and I were on the edge of a cliff called divorce, my kids were suffering the "bad moods" that all the financial stress put us in, and then I had surgery so our payments to everyone had to go down during my 6 week recovery and that is when they got nasty. Bankruptcy helped to save my marriage, and gave me peace to be able to spend more quality time with my kids too. No regrets about filing! I would do it again in a heartbeat to reap the peace that came from it. Believe me the peace far outweighs the guilt I feel for being in a bad situation. I hope this helps. Financial stress is the worst!! Just to add, if you do decide to file, just remember the important thing is to learn from the experience. I have a friend who has filed 3 times and has not learned a thing:(
Bankruptcy
Bankruptcy is never a good option. Not only does it stain your credit, it is not honorable.
bankruptcy (sm)
I'm becoming overwhelmed in debt. I have taken a pay cut at my job, am in school for a new trade, and have been using my credit cards to pay bills, on top of usual cost of living and upside down on car loan, and student loans are looming. I feel like i'm going to be swallowed up, i'm a single income. I have a panicky feeling about this, i'm around 35K in debt, and this year i'm going to make around 30K (if that). How hard is it to file? What do I need? Any personal stories? Is it easy? I need relief from this Any advice welcome!
Bankruptcy
Both my daughters had problems and went through Consumer Credit Counseling Service--not one of the so-called credit agencies floating around that aren't legal, the CCCS is pretty good. Also, in Ohio, where I live, don't know if this is everywhere or not, before you file you have to attend a counseling session to see if you are even eligible!! And then perhaps go through the court system to try to pay off debt in three or four years instead of a complete bankruptcy. My grandson is going through this now. I personally have not ever filed but do feel empathy for anyone in your position. Perhaps you have a relative or friend who could help temporarily?
Bankruptcy. sm
Contact your credit card companies and try to work out a lower interest rate. Tell them (honestly) that you are on the verge of filing. A friend of mine did this and rates were lowered considerably.
bankruptcy
any suggestion what to do then?
bankruptcy
I will do that now. All communication has been through e-mail. I have the bounced check of $8196 with me.
When she sent two checks last time, she said someone at courier company must have tore the envelope and took out one check and insisted that she sent two checks only. I received only one.
Not only this, she is an expert in fooling and now it seems I am an expert in getting fooled!
Anyone more updates on MQ bankruptcy?
 When I read that note on this board a week or two ago, it got me really worried. I'm working really hard right now training on a new MQ account, and the thought of losing my job in the near future makes me want to cry. Any feedback out there? Does anyone know what's going on?
CH 13 bankruptcy & tax refund? anyone know? sm
Do you get back ANY of your tax refund? Who asks how much you got? and then what?
Bankruptcy, after the fact...
I would do everything you could, credit counseling, combine debt, anything but file for BK. It is so hard after that if you ever need anything that depends on your credit. Most things you CAN get, but at outrageous percentage rates. Some things you won't even be considered for. Right after I filed I had to take my dog to the vet and she needed surgery that cost about $2000. They give credit to people... with good credit. I had to borrow money from my dad on that one. I don't know what would have happened if he wasn't there for me. Then my A/C broke down... again, no credit. I was struggling to make my credit card payments, but I knew I could keep paying them down until a family member told me how easy it was to file BK, so I did. I still regret it.
He files for bankruptcy -- that's how
I have heard that he filed for bankruptcy a couple of times-- therefore not forced to pay the IC people. However, enough of this crap has continued on and Toth should be shut down!
Consider counseling
Sometimes an objective opinion from a person you respect can give you some insight that you have disregarded or give you positive suggestions on improving your life. It's worth a try.
counseling is a must.
I have only been married 4-1/2 years myself, so I am not an expert in this field, but I think you need to do everyting in your power to make this marriage work before you call it quits. Whether your husband will agree to go to couseling or not, YOU need to see someone (marraige couseler, pastor, etc.). If you can get your husband to go, that's awesome. He may take the advice differently if it is coming from someone other than you. Men tend to think we nag a little! I have never been to marriage counseling, and I have never been in a situation like yours, but if I were, I think I would give it my all before I throw in the towel!
Why don't you go to counseling with him?
At least once - and ask for help in dealing with his calls...
It really is an illness.
Wow you need some seriously counseling. sm
I am very very sad for you. What a very shallow and pathetic thing to do.
Bankruptcy - it won't happen -- don't worry!!
MQ is strong, improving, and moving forward in a confident way. Look -- i've been through the worry-mill over this, plenty enough for both of us -- did some figuring, consulted some business people -- took on a second job awhile -- and finally came to the conclusion, all is well and there was no need to worry about things that would likely never take place. Believe me, if there was good reason to jump ship, i'd have been long gone. Relax, you'll do a better job and be happier. Its going to be fine, and i'm not a better, but i'd bet the farm on that (literally).
This is the worst thing you can do, next to bankruptcy...
Any accounts included in a consumer credit counseling plan will show as "closed by creditor" on your credit report and will really pull down your FICO score. Also, CC companies normally will not lower your interest rate unless you are at least 90 days delinquent. They will then because at 90 days you are close to a charge-off. If you go 90 days delinquent, of course you have just damaged your credit.
Occasionally, people with a top credit rating can negotiate a lower rate, but only if they have a relatively small balance and threaten to close the account.
It all started with a discussion about bankruptcy or something like that.
With this new board format, the name and email automatically get carried over to your next posts. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me what name someone uses. Sometimes you have to let people on these boards know your areas of expertise or else they'll keep on arguing even when they know nothing about the topic of discussion. I happen to like fbm (former bank manager) because she's real and knows what she's talking about.
Please, go get counseling before you give up ---
It can really help you two see things in a different light and get to what is really going on. My situation was nothing like yours (different issues) when we decided to get counseling after 17 years of marriage. I was very doubtful it would help one bit and was ready to just get out. After 4 weeks we made some changes, did some reading, talked things over together and with the counselor, and today my marriage is better than it has ever been. I think it can be done if BOTH parties are willing to give and make some changes. Good luck. :)
Credit counseling
Yes, it does go on your credit report. I explained this to my banker that I had not had a problem before in paying my bills, just that I had too many. My banker reviewed my payment history and still approved the loans I requested. Each case is individual, and going through credit counseling may or may not affect your ability to get loans in the future.
She needs to attend counseling regardless!
She will find a way around the restrictions you have imposed if she wants to keep losing weight. You cannot follow her around day and night. It is really easy to hide weight loss if one wants to. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to get a handle on later. It took me YEARS to overcome this myself. Hope it works out.
I agree, she does still need counseling...
She needs to meet with someone who knows how to handle a situation like this. Going to counseling might also help you both learn how to deal with her better too. I might also add, while what you say you are doing sounds good and I think you should stick with it, also think of ways you can add positive reinforcement too. I think it would do her a lot of good if Dad could spend a little more time with her, doing activities, talking more, etc, something that would bring them closer.
I have sought counseling myself--sm
online, but I was not too successful in finding anything that was free. I thought I had found one once, but after I submitted my questions, no one ever replied. Guess you have to be careful with that too, or you may find your personal problems pasted all over the internet. Try doing a search, you may end up being lucky and find something worthwhile. Good luck.
Bankruptcy is not that bad- filed earlier this year and
bought a truck 2 months ago and I am currently working with Lending Tree to buy a house and hope to close in the next month. So there is life after bankruptcy.
I can't do bankruptcy as I own some property with people (my only asset) and I don't - sm
want to have to sell that or even have them know my problems. I know my meager Roth IRA and car would be safe, and I have no assets to speak of and really don't want to sell all my belongings though it would neaten up the house some (not my house). But as I said 3-5 more years tops and it will be gone then I will be doing quite well as long as no more disasters strike in the meantime. Feel like all I do is work but it will be worth it in the long run and I just don't want to deal with bankruptcy. I had a friend do it and she has done well. Has since bought a new home (had a $25K settlement from a car accident after her bankruptcy) and is doing okay, scraping by but managing. Has bought several cars (used) after the bankruptcy, had a killer interest rate though, that is where they get you. You have very high interest on any loans for a while until you can prove yourself. Do what you need to do for yourself.
I have some docs that say totals if counseling is
part of the visit as they get paid extra for the visit with certain insurances.
your whole family needs counseling - including you. nm
nm
SEEK MARRIAGE COUNSELING NOW!
You need to be telling this to a marriage counselor. If your husband won't go with you, go without him. It will give you the insight needed to make this tough decision.
Try debt counseling first - if that does not work - sm
it will at least look good to the judge when you declare bankruptcy. I do not regret declaring bankruptcy at all - got a lot of pressure off of me when I needed it. I started all over, and now I am so much wiser so I don't get in that circumstance again. It doesn't take long to rebuild, either.
You really need some counseling and anger management
tsk, tsk, tsk
Go to counseling and get guidance and structure.
It CAN work if he earns back your trust and is truly sorry. Counseling can help guide you through this process. It is truly worth a try. What have you got to lose? Good luck to you! :-)
Working on Master's in counseling and sm
I have had a hiatus of nearly 3 years. I could not decide if this is where I really wanted to go. Recently, I put myself back in therapy with my last therapist after a 5-year hiatus to help me decide. Two sessions and I can see the clear path back to it and yes, this is my "true calling."
I feel pushed to get out of MT because my hands are suffering after 15 years of this. I have 3 autoimmune disorders too. I am having energy problems and focus problems...pain and all that comes with AIs. I have trouble with consistently good line counts and I am working 2 jobs out of sheer boredom with the entire thing. It has nothing to do with no making as much money or ASR or any of it. It is my body telling me to move along. I also believe I would be happier as a counselor.
You need to consult a bankruptcy attorney on that one. Good luck...
I can't ever remember a question of bankruptcy on an employment application. They usually just as
s
The family can get free counseling through hospice even
if their mother was not a hospice patient. They have programs that the family participates in together and just programs for kids too. If they are able to associate with other kids that have experienced what they have that would probably be a tremendous help. They don't just talk about their feelings, but do activities and play games and just be kids, but if the emotions come then there is a trained person to help them.
Sounds like the dad could use some counseling too and maybe just a break from being a parent 24/7.
Get marital counseling for the sake of your children.
You probably could stay there your entire life and manage but the kids deserve better.
For those who have used credit counseling services, what was your experience?
From the sounds of it grief counseling may be in order -sm
My mom died 9/04 after 9 weeks in the hospital (as was recovering nicely too) so her death was actually quite unexpected. Considering how close we were I have handled it quite well (we talked on the phone almost every day and I visited at least 6 x a year). I never really cried though, don't know if that is good or not, yes I get teary, but I never broke down or anything. I just withdrew into myself I guess as part of me died that day. I had a rough patch in 02/05 that lasted about a month or so, but for my daughter's sake I had to pull myself out of my funk. I don't think I every really got to fully grieve though as then my dad met his girlfriend < 3 months after my mom died then got engaged 2 months later, then Jen got diagnosed with cancer, had surgery/chemo, my dad married 9 months after my mom died, etc. I can go days w/o thinking about my mom, though I loved her very much. So either I am in denial, cold-hearted, or just deal with things quickly. I don't believe you should dwell on things. Life keeps on going and there is nothing you can do about that but live your life the best you can. But if you are still so upset and cry a lot then I really think you should seek out a grief therapist so you can learn how to cope and move on. This doesn't mean you have to forget you dad by any means. I still "talk" to my mom though I have no grave to visit or anything as she donated her body to science so I have no clue where she actually is now but I like to think her spirit is here with me and that makes me feel good.
Is there a free online counseling service?
My daughter, who is 33, is married with 1 child - every time something goes wrong in her marriage or job, she calls me and I'm supposed to solve all her problems. I have asked her repeatedly to go to a counselor, but usually when she calls, it is in the evening. By the next day or Monday, the problem has gone away temporarily and then she doesn't get the help she needs again.
Does anybody know if online counseling is available that is free, other than this message board ? I guess I'm thinking of someone with an actual degree?
Anyone have any GOOD experiences with a credit counseling service/
If so who were they and what did they do?
Working on my Masters in Counseling Psych. I should be done in Summer 2007.
x
Talk to an attorney. The bankruptcy laws have changed considerably in recent years and you need to s
x
Has anyone used a credit counseling service to consolidate credit cards?
What was your experience? Was it worth it? Which ones are credible?
|
