Anything traumatic dealing with young children gets to me (nm)
Posted By: jb on 2007-07-13
In Reply to: 20 years of this, and I still get queasy sometimes. - sm
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And they say divorce is less traumatic on adult children....
Unfortunately, this is NOT the case. Adult children whose parents divorce quite often end up just as you have described. They are old enough to form their own opinions which are quite often colored by their life experiences and how they relate to each parent as an adult with adult biases and opinions. Divorce, regardless of the age of the children, always affects the children and people who are "waiting until the kids are grown" are only deluding themselves.
I do this job with young children around and neither my job nor children have suffered...
It can be done...
I would be interested in knowing if they have young children too?
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It is difficult to work at home and watch young children.
Don't take that as a slam because I had to do it, too. I got up before they did and worked for an hour or two, worked during their afternoon naps, worked after they went to bed at night, and worked a little bit in the morning while they were playing or watching Blues Clues. It wasn't fulltime, but it felt like I was chained to my computer desk from the moment I got up to the moment I went to bed.
I actually blockaded my kids in the living room with me using big plastic toyboxes or baby gates while I worked so they wouldn't escape. Lock the doors to the house and put cowbells on them so you can hear if they try to escape. If not cowbells, use those little battery operated buzzers that go off when the connection is broken. Don't wear headphones but listen through the speakers. Pay a neighborhood 'tween or older sibling $1 or more an hour to entertain the young kids after school while you're there. No job is worth the risk of your child getting into something tragic.
I was fortunate in that my kids were good about entertaining themselves for short periods of time, but certainly not for an 8-hour shift all at once. My niece and nephew are nothing like that. If they don't have your full attention, they fight and get into things. One time while I was babysitting them, I was making dinner in the kitchen. My 3 y.o. niece managed to untape the knob and turn off our water heater, drop the cordless phone into the toilet, and climb out the dog door into subzero weather in less than 5 minutes. She's still a holy terror 3 years later, but I refuse to babysit her any more.
Open Casket can be very traumatic
I was only 8 when I was forced by my mother, Catholic family, to "go see greatgrandma" - it was an open casket and to this day I've not forgotten how she looked or "felt"; my mother insisted I touch her hand one more time, ewwww!! It was horrid and I never took my children to any funerals; in fact my son is 26 and has yet to attend a single funeral.
I believe at 11 years of age your daughter is entitled to her opinion and you should abide by her decision.
Death is traumatic and it does affect different people in different ways. If she does not want to attend the funeral, maybe graveside after everyone else has left?
I agree with the previous poster there are always other ways to pay respect.
Blessings on your family,
My son also had a traumatic brain injury
Please let me know if you do find the answer to your question. My son, who lives with his father, has become a drug addict. He will not return to school or work; he is only interested in getting his SSI check and whatever else he can get from the government and everybody else. Please let me know if you have any answers. I do know that I went to college with a learning disability (ADHD), and I not only asked the professors to put me in the front and center seat but also had free tutoring for math classes when I needed it (I kept losing my glasses). They offer free tutoring through Student Services for a variety of handicaps. Good luck!
Son suffering from traumatic brain injury.
My son was hit by a car 7 years ago and sustained a traumatic brain injury. He was in a coma and went through over a year of rehabilitation. He was 15 at the time and finished high school, went on to Junior College and has just finished a year at a state university. He has struggled with learning disabilities and short term memory problems since the accident and has barely passed his classes. It looks as though this was his last semester at school because his grade point average isn't high enough to let him continue school. He will be put on academic suspension. He wanted to go away to school so badly and worked so hard to make it and I know he will be so disapointed when he finds out he won't be going back in the fall.
He is definately a miracle and I thank God everyday that he is alive but I don't know what to do to help him anymore. My question is "Is there anyone out there with a similar situation who can give me some advice on where to go from here?"
sounds like post-traumatic stress disorder!
Unfortunately, their way of dealing SM
with what they call a "troublemaker" on that forum is to state that the discussion has gone as far as it can go and they proceed to lock the topic. If you try to open a new topic, they lock that one also.
There are so many issues they have done this on, their advertising ethics, the cost of the BOS, not giving the journal to student members...they just say IT'S BEEN DECIDED, NO FURTHER DISCUSSION. Really makes someone want to join, doesn't it? 
Dealing with it
We went to a lot of counseling and at first I did not agree with the counselor but now I see where he was coming from. It was worse in my situation as my husband is a truck driver and was on the road a lot and so I was the main discipline, rule maker, etc. His son lived with us twice and when he stole our car, etc. he did go back to Florida where his mother lived as he had outstanding juvenile warrants down there that his mother forgot to tell us about when she shipped him to us. But looking back I definitely see where it was the unstable life style and the first time that he was as bad as he was, we should not have sent him back to him Mom where he wanted to go. That is how he controlled us was by being bad. Now I see what the counselor was saying that no matter what he did, we were not to send him back to his mother but we did. Even if we had to separate but basically what the counselor was trying to do was to get Jeff to quit his job and stay more at home and be with his son more which he refused to do, so the first time (age 11) he took a butcher knife to new furniture, stole money and checks and took his bicycle trying to run away to Florida. Then he came back at age 16 and did the car thing. But I truly think that if we had stuck it out the first time, it might have made a difference but who knows. But my ex also had two daughters from a second marriage and I am closer to them than he is. We are now divorced -- no children -- after 22 years but I stay in contact with the kids --well grown kids now and see them. One got married a year ago and I went to the wedding, Dad did not. The easy thing to do is to walk away and give up, the hard thing to do is to love them and try to shape their life somewhat. It is hard but I really don't think it is impossible at this age. But your husband does have to lay down some rules, give you the support when you need it and let them know that they must listen to you as well. You are a family and I always worked with the kids mother to show unity and in fact am still friends with one of them but have gotten along with both of them better than he did. We just tried to do what was best for the kids. But again, they do need to know you are a united front and together and at this age, they have two choices, follow the rules and be part of a family or not and be alone. My oldest stepdaughter called on Mother's Day to say hello and she had lived with me/us from age 19 to 21 and gave us especially me since I was home most of the time a run for our money. Nothing like the stepson but doing some partying, not calling, things that normal kids do. She did move out after a little over a year but stayed in the area. She did apologize and say that she now understood where I was coming from and wished she had been a little different but she did appreciate everything I had done for her and was glad that we were still friends. So that kind of made my day. Again, counseling would be a good idea. Remember that kid is coming from a different lifestyle and we expect them to adapt immediately to our lifestyle. Like when you first get married and your first Christmas comes along and you realize you now have to deal with celebrating Christmas two different ways with two sets of traditions, it is hard. Good luck. Sorry I rambled on so much. Patti
That is exactly what I am dealing with....nm
n/m
Dealing with burnout
Hi:
Is anyone out there dealing with burnout due to their transcription job? I have been doing this for 7 years as an Independent with only 1 vacation in that time. I work weekends and holidays and feel like I am about ready to yank my freaking hair out  from the responsibility!!!
Lynn
I don't like any commercials dealing with
gender, medical, racy or adult topics. I mean, really, when's the last time you saw a feminine product on TV and decided that you simply must run to the store right away to get you some? Cialis and Viagra? Come on, maybe E.D. was invented to give women a break for once in their adult lives. And all those pills being pushed by the manufacturers? Yes, let's go to the doctor and demand pills because we're all self-diagnosing.
The only one having trouble dealing with anything is you
If your life sucks it's no one's fault but your own. Successful people take accountability for their lives and move forward instead of placing blame wherever they can and being angry at the world like you obviously are.
The only one having trouble dealing with anything is you
If your life sucks it's no one's fault but your own. Successful people take accountability for their lives and move forward instead of placing blame wherever they can and being angry at the world like you obviously are.
My prayers are with those who are dealing
with Hurricane Wilma. I'm catching bits and pieces on TV and, living in the midwest, I can't imagine the fear that must go through those who stay to ride it out. I would be terrified. God bless all of you.
Guess I'm just not used to dealing with this
In the hospital when I was in-house, the radiologists always said "assault" or even "alleged assault." They never got more specific than that.
This is the first time I have run across this particular issue as a Rad MT. I suppose it is more common to hear about it in other modalities.
I am dealing with the same thing
me since October. They owe for three months of work at this point. I get the runaround when asking the office staff. I have put a call in to their accountant. I have not approached the physician himself, but that's my next step.
My husband has told me to not type another page until I'm paid. They owe me hundreds of dollars, and I plan to hopefully get that payment and then quit.
It is unfortunate, but is not worth me stressing over it. I am tired of robbing peter to pay paul, yet I've been loyal. This same practice had the nerve to call me last week to type a STAT report for them. How dare they?
I am so tired of this situation and I plan to get away from it. I would rather take a cut in pay then have no pay at all for months on end. It is driving me insanse.
It is to the Johns. And drug dealing is a necessary
job to the addicts. And hey, both of those make more money than most people do working an honest job.
I've been dealing with AOL since 1996...
so U may be eligible! I don't think I've ever hated a company more...well...yeah. LOL
The person in question is not K.P. We are dealing with
/
and just plain out right dealing with folks!
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Maybe facilities use to dealing with employees
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US HOSPITALS ARE DEALING WITH THESE PEOPLE.
nm
Are you really dealing with a weight issue that significant?
BUt I like not being the boss and dealing with the headaches and I like having co-workers to help
:+
So tired of dealing with incompetent offices...
they just emailed me for the upteenth time for a stat report that I already sent to them 40 minutes ago. Wouldn't you think they'd check to see if they had it first!?! Constantly emailing me questioning what they've sent me and when. Why can't she keep logs like I do!?! Doesn't take a rocket scientist! Can't remember from day to day to send me patient lists. Don't know what the heck she does with incomplete reports I've sent because doc doesn't give a name of messes up his dictation and cuts half of it off. I'll get a call a couple of weeks later saying doc insists he dictated on so and so, but they never got the report. I'm the one who has to go back and search for the nameless reports and match up the the patient they're missing with diagnoses, age etc., then tell her that's the one I sent you on that date that was incomplete. Why can't she figure that out!!! If I functioned like they do, I wouldn't last a week! Sorry, had to vent.....
Any advice for dealing with picky eaters?
OK, I'll try to explain this the best I can. My boyfriend has two children...one is a girl who just turned 18. The other is a boy who is 15. These two children will not eat ANYTHING! The girl is pickier than the boy, but still he is bad enough on his own. I have an 8-year-old son who will eat more of a variety than these two put together.
I am really getting tired of eating the same old thing every week. They will eat chicken, pork chops, burgers, hot dogs, pizza, and steak. It gets very old. My boyfriend and I love italian food, but if we make it we have to cook something separate for the kids (not including mine) to eat!
The girl doesn't like ham. OH, but she will eat ham that you put on a sandwich...but if you cook a ham, she turns her nose up?!?!? She likes baked potatoes, but not mashed?!?!? The boy would live on pizza ANYTHING if you let him.
I know that since they are older there isn't much I can do about it. Plus, they aren't my children, so I feel strange saying much about it. Their dad tries to get them to try new things, but they won't do it. In my opinion, he doesn't really try hard enough. My son has always been made to try at least a bite of something new...if he really doesn't like it he doesn't have to eat it, but most of the time he thinks it's good.
I just am sick and tired of the dinner menu choices being so limited. My boyfriend is a great cook (I am a good cook too, but he loves to cook, so he does most of the cooking). I'll ask what's for dinner and then almost feel sick to my stomach when it's chicken AGAIN!!
If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it. I think I needed to vent about it more than anything.
By any chance are you dealing with Indian technicians?? nm
s
has nothing to do with the race, but rather the communication gap when dealing with my own medical n
I pay a premium for through my health insurance coverage. I want clear communication with my physician. Please do not throw the racial aspect in, as it has absolutely no bearing on the point at hand. In fact, my gynecologist is Asian, but she has taken the time to learn our language because she chose to practice medicine here.
Been dealing with banks all morning and majorly stressed.
Have you ever had a credit card and all the phone numbers they give you do not allow you to talk to a live person, but get an automated system, that is not capable of doing what you need? Have you ever had a late charge because it took the bank 3 days to post an on-line payment? I'm going to have to write a letter I guess and when the next statement comes I'm paying it off and cancelling, though I'm not sure how I'll do that - have to write another letter.
Can you use a debit card on-line just like you can a credit card. I know most places only accept 3 major credit cards and didn't know if I entered a Visa debit # if that would be the same. I prefer Paypal cause I keep a little stash for on-line purchase, though most places don't take Paypal at least not yet. I just know I've got to get rid of the credit cards - much too stressful.
I didn't put up with it! I kicked my ex to the curb because I got tired of dealing with his SM
friends and incessant need to pretend he was a college boy, going to the bars, coming home drunk at 3 o'clock in the morning. Let me tell, nothing goods from letting your man hang out in bars with his buddies. NOTHING! If he needs to have a drink and relax, he can do that at home and the drinks are cheaper!
I can understand that it's hard for you not to give your friend your opinion. I can't hardly stand to see a woman letting a man treat her badly. It drives me crazy! Call me a feminist or a bra burner, but modern women need to get the message that we don't need men so badly we have to put up with all the garbage they hand out!
I completely agree. Working alone is so much better than dealing with all that stuff.
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I was just dealing with this yesterday. I really love it when they change something to mean the exac
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You're welcome! Start dealing with some lawyers, and they make MQ look nice!
I definitely feel like we are dealing with the same person! I think I need to make some phone calls
and put a stop to her! I cannot stand the idea that she is out there still scamming people like she scammed me!
never too young
I don't think you are ever too young to be worried about retirement! I wish I had worried about it sooner... you cannot expect a retirement check from any company, but you can do something about it yourself. Go to your local financial institutions and start your own retirement fund - just contribute a certain percentage of your check each time you are paid and no matter how many times you change jobs, keep doing it. It is there for you - you don't lose it just because you change jobs. But you are right to be worrying about your future - more of us should be doing that!
ah, to be so young...
...as to have never used tapes -- what a lovely feeling that must be!
I'm sorry but i think you are too young to be on this board!
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Smart Young Man
Your son sounds like a very smart young man. Not many kids these days truly care about their education. They look at high school as a party/social time, and dont look into the future what so ever, and said thing is a lot of our children are not getting the guidance from home either.
My son loves to learn and loves to be challenged and with him being home schooled we are able to do so.
And one other positive note on home schooling college intrance exams have shown that home schooled kids are just as smart if not smarter than those who go to public or private schools. The one on one they get is a big big factor in that.
Best of Luck!!!!!!!
I don't see a problem if someone does it once because of (1) young age, - sm
(2) circumstances...this girl has no clue who the father is, that is clear, (3) where they are at in life...in school is no time to have a baby. She would possible drop out, not have anything but a high school diploma for the rest of her life. How do you support yourself and a baby on $15K a year? Does she have understanding parents? Will the father pay support?(she'd have to have all the guys she slept with in the time period of conception tested). Someone that that young is not cut out to have a child....I can remember very clearly how I was then, and many are just not ready for the responsibility. Yes, many see abortion as shirking your responsibility because "you play you pay"; but you have to decide what is good and right for you and your circumstances, and the only one who can make that decision is the person who has to bear and raise the child or deal with their conscious if they decide to get an abortion. It's nobody's business but theirs. I think people who purposely don't use any form of BC then just get abortion after abortion because they are too lazy to get BCPs or condoms are WRONG for doing that. But people who are (1) stupid one time (2) get raped (as my roommate was); (3) just too young, i.e. in their teens, very early 20s--- have 1 pass. If my daughter came home and was in HS or college and said she was pregnant and wanted an abortion I would support her decision. I plan on drilling it into my kids heads never to have sex w/o a condom though and hopefully they will never have an unwanted pregnangy. I suppose you think my thinking is screwy and that is fine, everyone is entitled to their opinion, that is what makes the world go around.
Wow, mine was young...
I got my daughter's ears pierced when she was 7 months old. I think I was 5 when my mom got mine pierced, and then I was 12 when I got my second holes.
Very young on both daughters - sm
Two weeks old on first daughter. One week old on second daughter.
Your young age is showing!
I remember the dictabelt, we had to mark it with chalk to know where to start it up. Talk about archaic! The times they are a'changin! (and for this part - the better!)
I don't know if you mean too young or too old. Companies
cannot legally ask you how old you are. I quess they can get an idea of age based on work history though or if you put educational history on resume. I'm nearly 50, but when I answer the phone I frequently have people ask to speak to my mother. I've been offered a position with every company I've ever applied to.
You don’t sound too old with a young kid
but in my town we have a consumer person (who is a millionaire but well known to be really tight with his money), anyway he was talking about a place where he buys his glasses and only pays about $8.00 for them and these are prescription glasses. I used to wear glasses, had Lasik and now 20/30 in both eyes- in about 2001, I think. For close up work such as newspapers or books, I go to the dollar store and buy the $1.00- This is for me, not saying everyone can do this. I see no sense in paying $200.00 for a pair of glasses when you can get them much cheaper.
I used to be young and dumb but
when I came into some money, quite a bit of it, paid all my bills off. I only have my monthly bills now, utilities and such. It is a wonderful feeling but to the original post, it is here money and really if she wants to burn it, she can.
Young man, listen up.
Your a very intelligent person and you seem really mature to the world. Inside you feel like you are crumbling, I completely understand that. Remember ther is always a tomorrow and always something better out there. If you are not happy doing the work that you are doing, its not the work, there is something holding you back. You definitely need to see either a therapist or a TRAINED medical profession to talk about this with. And don't wait, do it NOW. So many times people wait and it becomes too late. You are going to be fine and God will help you through any challenges you come across. If the physicians give you medications, take it. If it has side effects, don't stop taking it, call your physician and he can put you on another medication that does not have those side effects.
This is going to be a very long and very rewarding process and you will start feeling better about yourself. Don't give up and don't listen to people who just tell you to suck it up and get a job. Obviously they have been so lucky to never have experienced depression before. I pray that you will only have the best of luck in all you do.
you are young and dumb. The nerve of you to say
why have children if you are going to put them in daycare. When I was going to graduate school and working I became pregnant. I didn't expect my husband to quit his job and I sure enough was going to stop graduate school my six months. My triplets went to daycare and was fine.
working with young kids
I have been working at home since my first child was a day old and all I can say is you get used to it and so do they since they don't know any different. I think it would be harder having them a bit older and then starting to work at home. I took short breaks for feeding but worked during the regular work day other than that, just had the baby lying on a blanket next to my chair or in a bouncer seat or sometimes on my lap, and as he got older he started playing next to my desk. The second time around I had twins, and well, that was a bit harder, but I fed them both at the same time and put them on the same feeding and nap schedules to maximize both work time and my sanity.
Ya do what ya gotta do.
I was 18--so very, very young! Still married though after 31 years!
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