Addicts
Posted By: Lynn on 2005-08-17
In Reply to: has anyone had to cut out a toxic relative or best - friend because they were affecting your life?
You know, cutting people out of your life that have been a part of your life for any amount of time is hard. I have a sister, who has a great deal of set backs in her recovery because she will not cut out her "old friends." She thinks that she can help lift them up, but they keep pulling her down. I think the most important thing in any growth process is to surround yourself with supportive people! Just my opinion:)
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I never thought that we were addicts
just that our bodies develop a tolerance to the medications. I do not believe in the 12-step program and will not participate in it. I realize that a lot of people use it, but it is not for me. I know the definition of an addict, and I, in no way, resemble or exhibit an addicts behavior. I just feel that I need to stop taking or greatly reduce the amount of medication that I am taking in order to be able to think more clearly - although the return of pain will put me in the same frame of mind as the pills - I went through that for over 10 years with no pain medications. For the first 3 years, I had no problem, but when they started increasing my meds (not at my request or due to anything I had told them about my pain level), I knew that something was not right about the situation and knew that I needed to stop - probably in order to find another pain management specialist. I know that they do not all treat the same. This is a large group - you never see a doctor, only a nurse, they do not return phone calls promptly, as they have way too many patients. My husband works at a day-surgery center where these doctors work and it is nothing for them to do 20 cases or more a day - of injections or pain pumps, etc. Rather than offend them by just moving to a different doctors and jeopardizing my husband's job, I thought that getting off the main drug (oxy) or at least weaning partially before finding another doctor would be for the best. Since my husband works with these guys it greatly complicates the situation. I have been in this situation before where he has worked with a doctor that did not treat me properly (one even did a totally unnecessary surgical procedure after I had gone into the ER for flank pain), but because my husband worked with him, I had no recourse. Thankfully, my husband has started his own business and will probably be leaving the medical field within a year - then he will have no ties to the doctors in our area. thank you to everyone for your support and care this week. I know that I will make it - it is getting easier every day.
Alcoholics/drug addicts
I have been married to a recovering alcohol for 23 years. It was rough for the first 2 years, but it did get much better. Stopped hanging around with old friends,etc. The third time in detox was the one that saved him and their counseling. I told him back then it was either his life or me and he chose me and our oldest son. It is not an easy thing to watch, but I knew there was a good person there and I was right. Good luck to anyone who has this disease in their lives, it is a hard road for sure. I stopped drinking when he did and I am glad I did, because our kids don't drink either. No everyone is as fortunate as us as some alcoholics have set backs and that is difficult and starts all over again. We may not be ionvited to some parties where there is drinking involved, but at this point I don't care nor does my husband. It is very interesting to watch people who do have drinking problems, not recognize them and you just have to say "wow, I was like that at one time".
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