A question of gift etiquette.... (see mssg.)

Okay --- tell me what you think about this odd little experience!

A friend of mine, a woman who is very well-off -- far more so than I will ever be -- over the years has routinely given me bags of her college-student daughter's clothing that she no longer wants.  Her daughter gets tired of stuff LONG before it even looks old, and I really like her particular taste in clothes.  We're pretty much the same size, too!  So I would always get this cool hand-me-down stuff to sort through, most of which I would keep.

Those I didn't keep were usually items that were a bit too small for me, usually skirts or pants.  Usually I would just take those to the Goodwill, but I have another friend that is slightly smaller than I, and also a lot poorer.  She's been unemployed much of the time I've known her, and really needed the clothes!  Since she usually shopped at the Goodwill anyway, I knew that giving her the stuff I couldn't wear would save her even more money.  That way all of my friend's daughter's clothing went to good use, and was enjoyed.  A win-win situation.  Or so I THOUGHT....

Unbeknownst to me, it turned out that the friend who gave me all these clothes could not STAND the friend that I was giving the too-small stuff to.  I didn't know this until one time when I told her how great it was that the other friend was so grateful to have the clothing that I didn't want, because then none of it had to go to the Goodwill, all went to good use, etc. etc.   WELL!  Instead she emails me and tells me that she cannot STAND my other friend, and absolutely does NOT want me to give any of the clothing I don't want to her, because she "doesn't want to see her wearing it."  (?????) 

I emailed back and said that although I respect whatever reasons she has not to like my other friend, that I DID have a problem with being told what I could or could not do with cast-off clothing that was given to me, and therefore MINE to do with as I saw fit.  I certainly didn't want to have to tell my other friend that I couldn't give her any more clothing because the person I received it from didn't like her and didn't want her to have it!  So, since we all have the same large group of friends and see each other often, I decided that I would just no longer accept used clothing from my friend's daughter anymore.  In order to try to keep the peace, I simply told her I "had no more room in my closets for any more stuff", though I'm sure she knows why I no longer want the clothes.  But, because of her control-freakishness about who wears these clothes, now both my other friend and I have lost out on a good thing.

   What's your take on that?  Don't you think that once you GIVE something to someone as a gift, that it is THEIRS to do with as they please, regardless of how you may happen to feel about it?  Does that sound odd to you? 

• A question of gift etiquette.... (see mssg.) - RadTyper
  • You should've just told the person who gave - you the clothes ... sm
  • Similar situation, my take on things. - more
    • That's why I chose not to take them at all anymore. (s/m) - Rad Typer
  • You did the right thing. Wish the gifter would see things in a - kinder fashion
    • Bird rescue, etc. (s/m) - Rad Typer
    • Sometimes there are situations where - more
  • I think you handled it well. You wouldn't feel so good about those clothes if you cut off your - Sassy sister
  • WOW! Now that is a mess! sm - Amy
    • "What kind of friend" is right... but in many (s/m) - Rad Typer
      • Well that's quite a soap opera . . . - Crystal
        • Another thought...sm - Amy

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     What would you do if you were in this position?

You're in your late 50's.  You've been an MT since the mid-70s.  You work at home and even if you work 7 days a week, your income is not paying the bills anymore.  You think it's time to abandon the MT field and find something else.  You only have 2 years of college, no business or computer courses.  Going back to school at this stage of the game seems rather pointless, though is not out of the question.  But earning a Bachelor's degree in anything is going to require going back and finishing some high school courses, just to get into a college program.  So we're talking YEARS of night-school, because of course, you still have to keep working in the meantime.

One problem is that you are absolutely NOT a "people-person".  So things like nursing, sales, customer service, management, human resources, etc. are pretty much out of the question.    So what sort of field and/or education would you look into? 

Coughing and sneezing have no affect/effect on it, and bowel and bladder functions have been normal.

I just signed a contract with a clinic to be one of two or three transcriptionists working from home as an independent contractor.  I can't decide if I need to send them a thank you letter for taking the time to meet with me, discuss the contract and sign or not..  If I am offering a service and they are my client, then Yes, correct? 

Okay, then what do I say?  I'm just kidding, sort of - Just thank them for taking the time to meet with me and that I look forward to serving them???

Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Obviously this is my first direct contract with a clinic rather than through another transcriptionist..

I was thinking about applying with the service that the hospital is outsourcing to and I was wondering say I take the test and get a job offer, is acceptable for me to request that I be placed on my former employer's account and will they honor my request?

They have been handling our over flow for several years and so I'm sure that there are MTs who have been on the account a while.  So I guess I was just wondering if they would let me work on an already well established account.

Hubby's mom has passed away. Our daughter is 11.  She went to my mother's funeral last year and did okay.  She insisted on going as she was close to my mom and she was given the decision because of her age.  It was also a graveside, closed casket service. 

She was never that close to hubby's mom and it's going to be an open casket Catholic funeral with visiting hours at the funeral home, etc.  She does NOT want to go.  I have some people saying that she has to go as she is the granddaughter and others saying that she is too young for this type of service. 

In one way I think that children need to deal with things so that they can mature.  Hubby is neutral on this issue as well.

What do you all think?

Hello,

My fiance and I are thinking about including a separate note in our wedding announcements/invitations telling people where we're registered at or a charity they could make donations to in our honor so that we don't have to field a cazillion phone calls asking this.  We're thinking about wording it something like "your kind thoughts and presence if possible is your gift to us.  For those who'd like to send an additional gift we request that a donation be made to *** charity.  We are also registered at ***.

Would you do this to make it easy for people or would you consider it tacky?  Personally I'd like it if people sent that when they sent me invitations to help make it easy to know what they want for a gift. 

Votes please!

This will be my second Christmas with this company.  I did not receive anything last year so I don't expect to this year either.  Still, a good company to work for.

and I do not say that lightly because my last week or so has sucked big-time donkey eggs. I said to my hubby this morning "Okay, honey, I'm leaving for the office now." He looked at me and cracked up because I was standing in the hallway in what he calls my "fart sack" a giant, several-sizes-too-big flannel nightgown. My kids are both home sick with mono and getting them through final exams and everything is going to be a challenge. The flip side of that is how lucky I am to work from home so that I can oversee their recovery and still earn a paycheck. I've resolved to try to find the silver lining in every cloud today.

By the way, those of you who saw my most on the gab board about DH's cellulitis, it seems to have miraculously started clear. I'm not getting cocky yet because he still has a pocket of infection near the top of his scar but he might be okay!

We recently had a family reunion on my husband's side, hosted on 2 different days by 2 different cousins.  We want to send them both a nice gift for their gracious hosting.  Both families are in their 40s/50s, husband and wife.  Thanks for any ideas.

Back in December I had a car accident.  I was POURING rain and the woman in front of me slammed on her brakes rather suddenly.  I hit my brakes, but I guess because of all the water on the road I didn't stop, I slid and hit her. 

Her car had very little damage, if any.  My car (Dodge Stratus) had about $1000.00 worth of damage to the front end.  The airbags did not deploy though because it was a very low impact accident.

Well, I had removed collision insurance from my auto policy because at the time I couldn't afford it.  My son had been having some medical problems and I was trying to cut corners any way I could.

My car has been sitting at a body shop since December waiting to be repaired.  The estimate was $900.00 to replace the hood, headlights, and pull the engine forward as the accident had pushed it back some and clamed the radiator hose shut and the fans weren't turning either.  The estimate did not include painting.

I have not been able to afford getting my car repaired yet.  I have been driving an old piece of junk that my parents have sitting at their house as a "back up" vehicle for emergencies.  It burns oil like the dickens, smokes like crazy, no air conditioning (in NC that is critical), and drinks gas like its going out of style.

Yesterday my son and I went to my parents house for lunch.  I pulled in the driveway, AND THERE SAT MY CAR!!!!!!  I swear to you, I cried.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  They had had it repaired and painted.  Well, they painted the new hood and the front fenders.  The fenders didn't have any damage, but they did it in order to blend the paint.  It looks increadibly good.  I can't even tell any difference between the new paint and the "old paint".

They also took it to Stanley Steemer and had the interior steam cleaned.  When they did that, they also cleaned the motor, so it looks brand new.  The only thing left is getting a new front bumper.  It has a couple of cracks in it up where the hood and the bumper meet.  But the body shop could not find a used bumper for it and to replace it with a new one would cost $900.00 by itself.  So, we will be looking out for a used bumper and when we find one we will have the bumper replaced and have the entire car painted.  I can wait for that though.  I am just so thrilled to have my car back!!!  No more piece of junk for me!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

Today I landed a hospital pathology transcription position; per diem, $22.50 an hour with possibilities of f/t down the road!  They hired me on the spot - yippee!  Happy MT Day, everyone ! 

Joanne

One year my sister had some very beautiful "beaudoir" photos taken that she gave her husband for an anniversary gift and he was nuts about them.  They were all taken by a very reputable photographer, all the shots were tasteful and nothing X-rated was exposed or showing.  One showed her very covered up with a red feather boa, you could see her bare shoulders and her bare legs, but not much else; another showed her kneeling in an unmade bed covered in all the important places by a sheet.  She had 4 taken in different poses and different settings.  They were some of the best photos I've ever seen of her.  They hung them in their bedroom so that they were kept private, but they were beautiful enough and tasteful enough that she showed them to family and close friends.  From what her photographer said, quite a few women have this type of photo taken for their significant others.  Just another idea to ponder.  :)

I need some help figuring out a neat gift idea for our veterinary staff.  You guys always have some GREAT ideas !!!

We have had some significant problems with both our "mom" and the 8 puppies we have left, having lost 3.  The staff at our vet hospital has just been absolutely wonderful.  This is a new vet hospital for us.  Our old vet and staff were... well... let's just say less than caring or concerned about our animals. 

We'd like a way to say thanks in a different and unique way, other than the traditional fruit/snack basket, and this is just not my strong suit.  We feel that plenty of people will complain about bad service, but sometimes we forget to reward the great service or the extra effort, and this vet hospital has done that and more. 

Any help or ideas would be appreciated.  TIA....

For anyone who wants to be proactive in their career/success, check this out--click on the video clip from the CMT: 

http://www.mtmonthly.com/medicaltranscriptionnews.htm