A parent's job is to raise a child the way they should go as an adult ....
Posted By: Sara on 2005-12-22
In Reply to: Is it too much to ask... - Not appreciated....
Isn't part of being an adult cleaning, taking responsibility? If so, YOUR job is to make them clean, certain rooms on certain days, not just during vacations. (I'm at work so this is succinct, and probably not real tactful, sorry)
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- Is it too much to ask... - Not appreciated....
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A parent's job is to raise a child the way they should go as an adult .... - Sara
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A parent's job is to raise a child but....
I've been in that boat, too. Chore lists didn't help. Taking anything away didn't help. Holding their allowance didn't help. Going on strike didn't help. All I ended up was triple the work. . It was their job to bring in wood for the stove to keep warm. I left the fire go out one night. That got their attention when they woke up and it was only 50 degrees in the house (pretty warm considering it was 0 outside). Never had to worry about heat anymore, but the other stuff....well...![](https://forum.mtstars.com/smileys/cutelaugh.gif)
At that time, I held down 2 full time jobs and 1 job at home typing college books part time. (I was young, so could handle it). Well, one day I sat them down and told them that if they EVER wanted to go out on their own, they would have to know how to clean, wash clothes, iron, cook, etc. I taught them how to cook the basics. I showed them how to do everything else. Well, they still didn't pitch in....didn't know what else to do so I left all their stuff alone. Stopped doing their wash and closed their bedroom door. Ignored them when they asked for something like they did me.
My guys all went out on their own between age 18-21. You should have seen their place. Spotless and they did it all themselves. Now that they are all married, my boys cook meals for their wives at least once or twice a week. They help their wives clean and do all the stuff I wish they would have done at home. But, you know what? That's fantastic. I know I taught them something that stayed with them and all my DIL's love me for it. ![](https://forum.mtstars.com/smileys/smirlove2.gif)
Now, all I have to do is get hubby trained. I'm still supermom to him even though he often states "I don't know how you do it all."
My opinion is not to worry about it. If they are embarrassed, they may do something. If not, then when their friends come around, just mention, "I'm sorry the house is such a mess but since I work 2 jobs, I just don't have time to do everything else." They might get the message then. ![](https://forum.mtstars.com/smileys/cutelaugh.gif)
Any child is more adult than you are.
I grow weary of your tiresome chatter.....
raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he
I figure I taught him what I know and believe. He has to make the decisions from there, and if what I taught him was strong enough, and believable enough, he will do OK. May make mistakes, but he'll do OK.
This has not always been the case, hence it hurts more. Merit raise/cost of living raise
dd
The raise you're describing is a merit-raise, - (SM)
and I agree that a worker has to go above and beyond in order to get them. But what doesn't seem to happen in this industry is COST-OF-LIVING raises, which should automatically come to workers either in small increments yearly, or in larger increments every 2-3 years. Without wages that are at least somewhat *realistic* (and modern-day MT wages are a pathetic joke), it's no wonder quality workers are harder and harder to come by, and much harder to retain. An MT should not have to work sweatshop hours for 7 days a week just to keep their head above water financially.
Go to NBC10.com - Our local news has "Wednesday's Child" which is a child for adoption.
Every Wednesday they introduce a child who needs a home and a family. There should be some information there as these kids are up for adoption.
www.NBC10.com -
Hope that helps!
WRONG! A child that has a fear of discipline = a well behaved child.
I have a beautiful, intelligent 11 year old daughter that hasn't had a spanking in 6 or 7 years and probably only 3 her entire life. She is very well behaved and I get compliments on her behavior constantly. When she does get out of line all I have to say is, "Shall I call your father?" Call it what you want, it works. She respects and obeys me and her father. Why??? For fear of the facing the consequences of misbehaving. Having a total lack of fear or respect for authority is exactly what's wrong with Generation X/kids today. I turned out just fine as did my siblings. Why?? Because my parents took "time out" to bust our a$$es whenever we got out of line.
Is that clear enough for you???
ok-could be your parent for sure...LOL...sm
32 !!! A mere babe in arms *S* and yes, old enough here to be YOUR MOM!!! Too funny!!!
Well, I am the parent and I run my house sm
My kids are told to speak only when spoken to, and if they talk back in anyway, I smack them in the mouth. Granted, they are teens and not toddlers. In their teens, they try to push it to the limit no matter what situation. My kids know not to push!
I am a foster parent of 3, have been for about
a year and a half now. I would highly recommend you try to place you children with family or a good friend before turning to the state. After seeing how the system works, IMO, it is not a very good one. I would hate to see you lose your kids because you asked them for help. Two of my FC are about to get terminated from their parents, their mother of which put them in care for "help" and is now going to lose her kids.
There are many, many programs out there to help you. I'm not sure how long you have been married or really what the situation is but given the fact that you are considering this for children tells me you are a decent person because you don't want them on the street. Call a family member or a friend and ask if you and the children can stay with them. You might have to consider placing (or leaving) your husband somewhere else until you can get back up on your feet.
Go to your local welfare office, they might be able to get you something short-term. Try, try hard to keep your family together.
God bless you and your family. I hope things turn out and the world seems like a better place. Just know that we are all hear praying for you!
I think she is very much a good parent, and I don't
see how she is treating them as pets.
Ok, she was a parent when she got involved w/ a
asdf
It's not a parent's job to entertain their children 24/7.
Back in the olden days, parents AND children did chores from morning until night. They didn't play, go to the movies, own electronics or do ANYTHING fun. Chores, chores, chores all day long. The kids worked right alongside their parents. Church on Sunday. They didn't have neighborhood kids parading through the house without an invitation. They might have gone on an occasional picnic or square dance, but that's it. Children aren't supposed to be in charge. Parents aren't supposed to entertain their children 24/7 and give in to their every whim. At least her kids are having fun instead of being left home ALONE with a list of chores to do while Ma and Pa go to town for supplies.
Have become a single parent...how to survive
Hello.
First, I want to apologize if this is not on the right board. I wasn't sure where to put it.
Second, I am not looking for pity...just advice.
I have two wonderful children (a 5 year old and a 5 month old) who are my life and because of that I have left there father (verbally abusive to everyone) to make a better life for all of us. I am a new MT (have only been in the business for 4 months now and make enough to pay rent but that is all. With an infant it is hard to work during the day so I start my work around 7pm and work until it is done. I am not that fast yet but am gaining speed and could handle another small account. Can anyone tell me how they have made single parenting work as an MT or have any ideas on how to make it work, please. I am deperate to stay home with them. Honestly, daycare cost would kill my paycheck if I had to work outside of the home and I am trying to stay off of government support.
I appreciate any help or advice I receive.
Thank you.
elder parent care
Of course I feel "responsible", even "obligated" to take care of my aging parents. They took care of me, now it's my turn to give back. However, I'm not in that position right now as my parents are both in their early to mid 60s, so don't require taking care of yet...so who knows how I'll feel when faced with that responsibility. But, I hope that I feel the same way I do now. My husband and I have discussed more than once perhaps buying a larger home with an in-law suite to accommodate our aging parents.
If only more of us would take the responsibility of taking care of our elderly parents, then perhaps we would not hear of some of the horrors that happen to the elderly such as getting bilked out of their life savings, being abused in a nursing home, having accidents while trying to take care of themselves, etc...Thanks for the thought provoking question....have a wonderful day! ![](https://forum.mtstars.com/smileys/smile.gif)
This sounds like a parent talking...
I never want anyone to think I am yelling at them, even if something is a MAJOR no-no.
The above is what the poster wrote. I am not saying that I don't think her approach is good. I am just stating that words like MAJOR no-no are as if she is talking to a child. That's all I was pointing out. I don't like baby talk when it comes to being professional. Do we not strive for professionalism in this business?
So, some of you here like being talked to like a baby? That makes QA so special and great? ![](https://forum.mtstars.com/smileys/sowhat.gif)
A little please and thank you goes a long way. I don't need a QA person to be sugary sweet to get the point. We are adults here.
I'd rather act like an adult than be an adult trying to act like a kid.
s
Adult trying to act like a kid?? What does that mean??
Adult trying to act like a kid? What does that mean? That adults cant go to rock concerts? You are the fool for generalizing about how kids or adults should act. I act the way I want, I believe the way I want, I am the way I want to be..Dont like it?? Tough. Your post really makes no sense. I would suggest you check out rockers, most of them are over 40, and they are still rocking..
As a parent of 3 grown men, I'd be real clear with him
on the reason for quitting. This is not the norm for most of these players, especially after playing for so many years. After this time it's usually "in their blood" as some would say. You really need to keep an eye on him and see where he really focuses his time now that he's not playing. Since his GPA is 4.0, it just throws up a flag to me as I read your post, and I'd be sure to keep a close eye on this young man. BUT, for your P.S., his team may nudge him back into playing and I don't necessarily think that would be a bad thing. Hopefully it's not a people problem that's caused him to want to quit, i.e. people picking on the little guy (wink, offensive linemen usually aren't too little, are they?). Just make sure you stay objective and keep an eye on the bigger picture if that's possible.
I remember when my now 25-yo was the tight end in pee wee footbal, lots of practice and lots of fun. He totally loved it but quit after midgets because he couldn't get along wth an upcoming coach. Ahhh, those were the days. Thanks for making me remember some good times.
I don't think it is cruel to admit your remaining parent - sm
into a nursing home. Those that think its terrible are just concerned with appearances I think, that and guilt themselves if they ever thought about it. My mom put her mom in a nursing home after she could not care for herself. My grandma actually thrived there. They got her off all her medication and she was felt a lot better, even got engaged to get married again, but broke it off shortly before she died. We lived in PA and her mom in FL. My mom's (adopted) family thought she was such a terrible person for putting her "mom" in a nursing home. My mom's adopted parents did not treat her well at all, would never tell her much about the adoption when she eventually found out about it in the 1950s (smell of scandel somewhere, this was 1935) and my grandparents never really ever wanted children. Needless to say my mom has a less than ideal childhood but she took care and upheld her "responsibilities". Some people take in their parent(s) because they want to make sure the $$$ if there is any stays in the family (or goes to them). I know that is the wheel turning in my DHs brain about his parents, though he says they would never re-marry after the death of the other. His mom has told me she will not remarry, but you never know do you. I think he is wrong about his dad though, I think his dad would do the exact same thing my dad did, i.e. remarry within a year of the mom/wife passing and say bye-bye to any substantial inheritence on a re-marriage. In my case I will "lose" (my husband's thinking) out on about $140K which my husband deeply resents unfortunately. It has caused a lot of distention in the last 2 years between me and my DH that is. I am cool with my dad, it's his life and money; and I have pointed out to him a zillion times that inheritence is a gift, not a right. But yes, to be honest it is disappointing, but as my DH expects to get close to $1 mil from his parents I think we will survive (in a way I hope they disinherit him). Greed can cause all sorts of problems. Along with responsibility comes motive in some cases. I do not want to take in either of my DHs parents, but his fear/greed will induce him to have whichever one is left move in with us probably in the next 5-10 years (they are 76 and 71 right now). Sad.
I'm a current foster parent in Georgia and...sm
have e-mailed you to contact me so I can answer your questions.
So again having sex between 2 adult males sm
or females is the same grouping as men raping boys??? Come on, you are the one that needs an education.
She was an adult, not her mother's choice
Obviously there is enough evidence to hold at least 1 suspect as he is still being held! What about him? Poor him huh? You are exactly the kind of person who talks one way, but given the problem being placed on your doorstep, you would cry and complain just like the rest of them. If it were your child, you be just as angry and scared and frustrated as she is.
Yes, i advise my "children" he is an adult now. sm
He accepted the job as it was and can quit or accept the terms. my dh and i run a construction business. he runs around and spends 2 hours a day just picking up help. we do not pay travel time. you either choose to go or you don't. we do, however, buy their lunch when it is a longer than usual travel. when they are ICs as usually with any manual labor field, labor law and travel time doesn't constitute for their positioning. turn the situation. if someone was coming to your house to do some work, would you be willing to pay every person on that crew travel time? probably not because that would significantly raise the price which you probably already think it too high to do the work you need. you have to realize they are ICs as we are and have all the expenses of trucks, tools, gas, taxes, etc. and have to cut their prices because foreigners are taking over the manual labor fields as well and working for pennies just as transcription is doing but manual labor isn't going to overseas, overseas is coming to the US for pennies. i would have him ask the man he works for about it but it the guy accepts either live with it or quit. i doubt he will get it as with 18yo he can't have a lot of experience to constitute the extra pay, etc.
Like it or not, she is a legal adult and can do what she wishes.
You can tell her your opinions, but you really have no control over this. Just as you wouldn't want someone forcing you to have an abortion because they believe it's right, she likely doesn't want you trying to force her to keep it because it's what you think is right.
All you can do is be there for her if/when she needs you. Yeah, it may stink that her beliefs are not the same as yours, but there's nothing you can do about.
You're ridiculous. He's an adult and she can't do that.
She can talk to him, keep the lines of communication open with him, pray for him, but she has to decide what consequences she is willing to accept by where she draws her line of acceptance.
You cannot make decisions for grown children.
What a hateful parent to even try. Counsel them with a tender heart-to-heart but try to force them into living like yourself? HATEFUL.
Why don't you do the adult thing and just BAN her from posting here instead of sm
doing through all of this drama and mess. It's getting old and I would think an owner of an MT board would be much more professional than this.
Kay Christoper
I agree. Sounds like a controlling attention-seeking parent so
x
well, I am an adult with teen kids, so it's not too hard to
And they say divorce is less traumatic on adult children....
Unfortunately, this is NOT the case. Adult children whose parents divorce quite often end up just as you have described. They are old enough to form their own opinions which are quite often colored by their life experiences and how they relate to each parent as an adult with adult biases and opinions. Divorce, regardless of the age of the children, always affects the children and people who are "waiting until the kids are grown" are only deluding themselves.
In catechism class as an adult, they told us - sm
told us "it's better to remain as you are, but get married if you absolutely must." This was a group of people mostly over 40 who were studying to become Catholic.
i took an adult education class for 5 bucks,
in California 33 yr ago. I'm pretty sure most everyone trained on the job in those days, but i paid $5 for the course and bought a few books (med dictionary, workbook etc). This was an intensive course though with a great teacher -- 8r a day x 6 months and i probably studied 4-5 hr a night. I had a job before i got out of 'school' and i've worked continuous ever since, in many capacities, a number of states. I do think there are too many places nowadays however that take your money and don't prepare you well. But it's WHAT they teach, not the name of the school. We spent a good deal of time on word roots/prefixes/suffixes, interpreting sound, easily confusables, how to research, etc. Training my ear did not come easy for me, but i believe everywhere i've worked, i've been considered one of their best. Again, its not where you've been but what you learned when you got there!!
Absolutely, any parent who does less is negligent! Glad my kids are grown, my baby will be 18 in Ju
x
What? Don't like changing adult diapers all night long?
s
Glad to hear that my adult knitting friends and I are "trashy."
x
Adult children CHOSE to join army.Didnt they
x
Morning baby, morning adult. Kids born at 11:30AM (both) are night owls, however. Go figure! :) nm
s
MQ raise
My last raise was in 1998. When I asked for one last year, I got one quarter of a cent. Then three quarters of a cent were taken away from me when I started DocQscribe, as I was told I was gonna make so much more money with DQS.
raise
May want to follow up with a phone call, sometimes if they get a lot of email it is easy to overlook them. That's what I do if they don't get back to me as soon as I think they should, anyway :)
getting a raise
How does one go about getting a raise as an independent contractor? I am not even in the same state. Shoud I e-mail or phone and how long should I wait before asking? In the past, I could always ask a co-worker, but my kids are my co-workers now. Does anyone know the correct protocol?
anyone with DSG ever get a raise?
d
Raise
I've been with MQ for a good while and I'm happy (just because my office is awesome), but I'm an intrigued with their production comparisons (ASR vs non-ASR) and interpreting polls (after the first one I sent that they "interpreted," I never sent another).
My theory on raises: Since the ASR rate will be reduced, you already have a "built-in" raise by not doing ASR. This is not to say they won't give raises eventually, but if you ask for one because you are doing the scum, they will say, "Well, the ones who do ASR don't get paid as much."
My advice to you would be to do ASR. Or get a different job because with MQ, this is the future. At least if you can master it and as the ASR improves (you'll get faster), you won't have a continuous diet of bottom-feeder material. That would absolutely drive me crazy. They probably eventually will eliminate all non-ASR'ers anyhow once the system is more refined.
Just total speculation on my part.
raise?
I hope whatever they gave you in the form of a raise compensates for what you have to go through, day in, day out, without any reprieve, and without even a good doc thrown in for good measure. Does it? Was it at least a buck an hour, and preferably two bucks? Or was it two bits? Keep your eyes open, MQGuy. It won't be long before you are OUTTA THERE! (Will the 0.050 cents per line, or whatever paltry sum it was, pay for your psychologist to keep you as sane as you are now?) I wish you luck, and I mean it sincerely. They got you hook, line and sinker.
Do ICs ever get a raise? -sm
I work as an IC for a great company. I have been with them almost 2 years now. I would like a pay raise. As an IC, do I ask for it? If so, how is this approached? I have worked as an IC for almost 10 years for various companies. Some give you a raise, most do not. I would stay with this company either way. TIA
Have been there over 4 yrs and no raise other than
across the board raises that everyone gets, latest being $0.002/line. (No that wasn't a typo, it was actually a very insulting .002cpl). Was told upon hire there would be merit raises. Asked about one after a year of exemplary service with 100% QA and was pretty much laughed at.
pay raise
I was wondering when it is appropriate to ask for a raise? I was thinking around my first year anniversary. Also, how much is usually given? Do they up .5 cpl or 1 CPL? Just curious.
MQ raise?
and how might I ask did you accomplishment the acievement of 2 raises in the past 3 months for MQ?
Wow, I need to ask for a raise! I am 1:2
5 min of dication takes me 10 min to transcribe. If I have to re-listen to something, or look up, it may take 11 minutes.
to ask for a raise?
To make a long story short, I've had this account for 4 years, and am on a salary. At first I didn't think I would make any money since it was a salaried accout, but as it turns out, some days there is much to do and other days there is not as much, so it rather evens itself out, but then there are days when I'm working from daylight until dawn, but those days are rare. Four years ago this was great money. However, the COST OF LIVING has gone up exponentially! I love this account, but it's my sole income; I have no other accounts. Thus far I've been able to make it on this account and prefer to not take on anymore work because, as I previously mentioned, some days there is more work than I want, but it has to be done. It would just make life much more difficult to take on more work for the days that they slam me, which outweigh the light days. My problem is this: I really want to ask for a raise, but afraid to rock the boat. I realize all they can do is say no, but then, once I've mentioned wanting a raise it might plant the seed that I might be moving on if they don't give me a raise, which I have no intention of doing, but how do I tell them that? I can't just say when asking for a raise: "Can I have a raise?" (them) No, you cannot. Me: Okay, just thought I'd ask. I am at a loss as to what to do about this situation. Any advice would be so much appreciated from anyone with experience in such a predicament as this. Thank you very much.
to ask for a raise?
I own the account personally. It is not through an MTSO.
Wow, sounds like you've gotten the really short end of the stick, and I feel so bad for you. I hope you'll get what sounds like a well-deserved raise, or be able to find another company who will appreciate you for what you really do. Good luck to YOU.
Are you asking for a raise or trying to get an
s
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