A parent's job is to raise a child but....
Posted By: Getting older on 2005-12-22
In Reply to: A parent's job is to raise a child the way they should go as an adult .... - Sara
I've been in that boat, too. Chore lists didn't help. Taking anything away didn't help. Holding their allowance didn't help. Going on strike didn't help. All I ended up was triple the work.  . It was their job to bring in wood for the stove to keep warm. I left the fire go out one night. That got their attention when they woke up and it was only 50 degrees in the house (pretty warm considering it was 0 outside). Never had to worry about heat anymore, but the other stuff....well...
At that time, I held down 2 full time jobs and 1 job at home typing college books part time. (I was young, so could handle it). Well, one day I sat them down and told them that if they EVER wanted to go out on their own, they would have to know how to clean, wash clothes, iron, cook, etc. I taught them how to cook the basics. I showed them how to do everything else. Well, they still didn't pitch in....didn't know what else to do so I left all their stuff alone. Stopped doing their wash and closed their bedroom door. Ignored them when they asked for something like they did me.
My guys all went out on their own between age 18-21. You should have seen their place. Spotless and they did it all themselves. Now that they are all married, my boys cook meals for their wives at least once or twice a week. They help their wives clean and do all the stuff I wish they would have done at home. But, you know what? That's fantastic. I know I taught them something that stayed with them and all my DIL's love me for it. 
Now, all I have to do is get hubby trained. I'm still supermom to him even though he often states "I don't know how you do it all."
My opinion is not to worry about it. If they are embarrassed, they may do something. If not, then when their friends come around, just mention, "I'm sorry the house is such a mess but since I work 2 jobs, I just don't have time to do everything else." They might get the message then.
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A parent's job is to raise a child the way they should go as an adult ....
Isn't part of being an adult cleaning, taking responsibility? If so, YOUR job is to make them clean, certain rooms on certain days, not just during vacations. (I'm at work so this is succinct, and probably not real tactful, sorry)
raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he
I figure I taught him what I know and believe. He has to make the decisions from there, and if what I taught him was strong enough, and believable enough, he will do OK. May make mistakes, but he'll do OK.
This has not always been the case, hence it hurts more. Merit raise/cost of living raise
dd
The raise you're describing is a merit-raise, - (SM)
and I agree that a worker has to go above and beyond in order to get them. But what doesn't seem to happen in this industry is COST-OF-LIVING raises, which should automatically come to workers either in small increments yearly, or in larger increments every 2-3 years. Without wages that are at least somewhat *realistic* (and modern-day MT wages are a pathetic joke), it's no wonder quality workers are harder and harder to come by, and much harder to retain. An MT should not have to work sweatshop hours for 7 days a week just to keep their head above water financially.
Go to NBC10.com - Our local news has "Wednesday's Child" which is a child for adoption.
Every Wednesday they introduce a child who needs a home and a family. There should be some information there as these kids are up for adoption.
www.NBC10.com -
Hope that helps!
WRONG! A child that has a fear of discipline = a well behaved child.
I have a beautiful, intelligent 11 year old daughter that hasn't had a spanking in 6 or 7 years and probably only 3 her entire life. She is very well behaved and I get compliments on her behavior constantly. When she does get out of line all I have to say is, "Shall I call your father?" Call it what you want, it works. She respects and obeys me and her father. Why??? For fear of the facing the consequences of misbehaving. Having a total lack of fear or respect for authority is exactly what's wrong with Generation X/kids today. I turned out just fine as did my siblings. Why?? Because my parents took "time out" to bust our a$$es whenever we got out of line.
Is that clear enough for you???
ok-could be your parent for sure...LOL...sm
32 !!! A mere babe in arms *S* and yes, old enough here to be YOUR MOM!!! Too funny!!! 
Well, I am the parent and I run my house sm
My kids are told to speak only when spoken to, and if they talk back in anyway, I smack them in the mouth. Granted, they are teens and not toddlers. In their teens, they try to push it to the limit no matter what situation. My kids know not to push!
I am a foster parent of 3, have been for about
a year and a half now. I would highly recommend you try to place you children with family or a good friend before turning to the state. After seeing how the system works, IMO, it is not a very good one. I would hate to see you lose your kids because you asked them for help. Two of my FC are about to get terminated from their parents, their mother of which put them in care for "help" and is now going to lose her kids.
There are many, many programs out there to help you. I'm not sure how long you have been married or really what the situation is but given the fact that you are considering this for children tells me you are a decent person because you don't want them on the street. Call a family member or a friend and ask if you and the children can stay with them. You might have to consider placing (or leaving) your husband somewhere else until you can get back up on your feet.
Go to your local welfare office, they might be able to get you something short-term. Try, try hard to keep your family together.
God bless you and your family. I hope things turn out and the world seems like a better place. Just know that we are all hear praying for you!
I think she is very much a good parent, and I don't
see how she is treating them as pets.
Ok, she was a parent when she got involved w/ a
asdf
It's not a parent's job to entertain their children 24/7.
Back in the olden days, parents AND children did chores from morning until night. They didn't play, go to the movies, own electronics or do ANYTHING fun. Chores, chores, chores all day long. The kids worked right alongside their parents. Church on Sunday. They didn't have neighborhood kids parading through the house without an invitation. They might have gone on an occasional picnic or square dance, but that's it. Children aren't supposed to be in charge. Parents aren't supposed to entertain their children 24/7 and give in to their every whim. At least her kids are having fun instead of being left home ALONE with a list of chores to do while Ma and Pa go to town for supplies.
Have become a single parent...how to survive
Hello.
First, I want to apologize if this is not on the right board. I wasn't sure where to put it.
Second, I am not looking for pity...just advice.
I have two wonderful children (a 5 year old and a 5 month old) who are my life and because of that I have left there father (verbally abusive to everyone) to make a better life for all of us. I am a new MT (have only been in the business for 4 months now and make enough to pay rent but that is all. With an infant it is hard to work during the day so I start my work around 7pm and work until it is done. I am not that fast yet but am gaining speed and could handle another small account. Can anyone tell me how they have made single parenting work as an MT or have any ideas on how to make it work, please. I am deperate to stay home with them. Honestly, daycare cost would kill my paycheck if I had to work outside of the home and I am trying to stay off of government support.
I appreciate any help or advice I receive.
Thank you.
elder parent care
Of course I feel "responsible", even "obligated" to take care of my aging parents. They took care of me, now it's my turn to give back. However, I'm not in that position right now as my parents are both in their early to mid 60s, so don't require taking care of yet...so who knows how I'll feel when faced with that responsibility. But, I hope that I feel the same way I do now. My husband and I have discussed more than once perhaps buying a larger home with an in-law suite to accommodate our aging parents.
If only more of us would take the responsibility of taking care of our elderly parents, then perhaps we would not hear of some of the horrors that happen to the elderly such as getting bilked out of their life savings, being abused in a nursing home, having accidents while trying to take care of themselves, etc...Thanks for the thought provoking question....have a wonderful day! 
This sounds like a parent talking...
I never want anyone to think I am yelling at them, even if something is a MAJOR no-no.
The above is what the poster wrote. I am not saying that I don't think her approach is good. I am just stating that words like MAJOR no-no are as if she is talking to a child. That's all I was pointing out. I don't like baby talk when it comes to being professional. Do we not strive for professionalism in this business?
So, some of you here like being talked to like a baby? That makes QA so special and great?
A little please and thank you goes a long way. I don't need a QA person to be sugary sweet to get the point. We are adults here.
As a parent of 3 grown men, I'd be real clear with him
on the reason for quitting. This is not the norm for most of these players, especially after playing for so many years. After this time it's usually "in their blood" as some would say. You really need to keep an eye on him and see where he really focuses his time now that he's not playing. Since his GPA is 4.0, it just throws up a flag to me as I read your post, and I'd be sure to keep a close eye on this young man. BUT, for your P.S., his team may nudge him back into playing and I don't necessarily think that would be a bad thing. Hopefully it's not a people problem that's caused him to want to quit, i.e. people picking on the little guy (wink, offensive linemen usually aren't too little, are they?). Just make sure you stay objective and keep an eye on the bigger picture if that's possible.
I remember when my now 25-yo was the tight end in pee wee footbal, lots of practice and lots of fun. He totally loved it but quit after midgets because he couldn't get along wth an upcoming coach. Ahhh, those were the days. Thanks for making me remember some good times.
I don't think it is cruel to admit your remaining parent - sm
into a nursing home. Those that think its terrible are just concerned with appearances I think, that and guilt themselves if they ever thought about it. My mom put her mom in a nursing home after she could not care for herself. My grandma actually thrived there. They got her off all her medication and she was felt a lot better, even got engaged to get married again, but broke it off shortly before she died. We lived in PA and her mom in FL. My mom's (adopted) family thought she was such a terrible person for putting her "mom" in a nursing home. My mom's adopted parents did not treat her well at all, would never tell her much about the adoption when she eventually found out about it in the 1950s (smell of scandel somewhere, this was 1935) and my grandparents never really ever wanted children. Needless to say my mom has a less than ideal childhood but she took care and upheld her "responsibilities". Some people take in their parent(s) because they want to make sure the $$$ if there is any stays in the family (or goes to them). I know that is the wheel turning in my DHs brain about his parents, though he says they would never re-marry after the death of the other. His mom has told me she will not remarry, but you never know do you. I think he is wrong about his dad though, I think his dad would do the exact same thing my dad did, i.e. remarry within a year of the mom/wife passing and say bye-bye to any substantial inheritence on a re-marriage. In my case I will "lose" (my husband's thinking) out on about $140K which my husband deeply resents unfortunately. It has caused a lot of distention in the last 2 years between me and my DH that is. I am cool with my dad, it's his life and money; and I have pointed out to him a zillion times that inheritence is a gift, not a right. But yes, to be honest it is disappointing, but as my DH expects to get close to $1 mil from his parents I think we will survive (in a way I hope they disinherit him). Greed can cause all sorts of problems. Along with responsibility comes motive in some cases. I do not want to take in either of my DHs parents, but his fear/greed will induce him to have whichever one is left move in with us probably in the next 5-10 years (they are 76 and 71 right now). Sad.
I'm a current foster parent in Georgia and...sm
have e-mailed you to contact me so I can answer your questions.
I agree. Sounds like a controlling attention-seeking parent so
x
Absolutely, any parent who does less is negligent! Glad my kids are grown, my baby will be 18 in Ju
x
MQ raise
My last raise was in 1998. When I asked for one last year, I got one quarter of a cent. Then three quarters of a cent were taken away from me when I started DocQscribe, as I was told I was gonna make so much more money with DQS.
raise
May want to follow up with a phone call, sometimes if they get a lot of email it is easy to overlook them. That's what I do if they don't get back to me as soon as I think they should, anyway :)
getting a raise
How does one go about getting a raise as an independent contractor? I am not even in the same state. Shoud I e-mail or phone and how long should I wait before asking? In the past, I could always ask a co-worker, but my kids are my co-workers now. Does anyone know the correct protocol?
anyone with DSG ever get a raise?
d
Raise
I've been with MQ for a good while and I'm happy (just because my office is awesome), but I'm an intrigued with their production comparisons (ASR vs non-ASR) and interpreting polls (after the first one I sent that they "interpreted," I never sent another).
My theory on raises: Since the ASR rate will be reduced, you already have a "built-in" raise by not doing ASR. This is not to say they won't give raises eventually, but if you ask for one because you are doing the scum, they will say, "Well, the ones who do ASR don't get paid as much."
My advice to you would be to do ASR. Or get a different job because with MQ, this is the future. At least if you can master it and as the ASR improves (you'll get faster), you won't have a continuous diet of bottom-feeder material. That would absolutely drive me crazy. They probably eventually will eliminate all non-ASR'ers anyhow once the system is more refined.
Just total speculation on my part.
raise?
I hope whatever they gave you in the form of a raise compensates for what you have to go through, day in, day out, without any reprieve, and without even a good doc thrown in for good measure. Does it? Was it at least a buck an hour, and preferably two bucks? Or was it two bits? Keep your eyes open, MQGuy. It won't be long before you are OUTTA THERE! (Will the 0.050 cents per line, or whatever paltry sum it was, pay for your psychologist to keep you as sane as you are now?) I wish you luck, and I mean it sincerely. They got you hook, line and sinker.
Do ICs ever get a raise? -sm
I work as an IC for a great company. I have been with them almost 2 years now. I would like a pay raise. As an IC, do I ask for it? If so, how is this approached? I have worked as an IC for almost 10 years for various companies. Some give you a raise, most do not. I would stay with this company either way. TIA
Have been there over 4 yrs and no raise other than
across the board raises that everyone gets, latest being $0.002/line. (No that wasn't a typo, it was actually a very insulting .002cpl). Was told upon hire there would be merit raises. Asked about one after a year of exemplary service with 100% QA and was pretty much laughed at.
pay raise
I was wondering when it is appropriate to ask for a raise? I was thinking around my first year anniversary. Also, how much is usually given? Do they up .5 cpl or 1 CPL? Just curious.
MQ raise?
and how might I ask did you accomplishment the acievement of 2 raises in the past 3 months for MQ?
Wow, I need to ask for a raise! I am 1:2
5 min of dication takes me 10 min to transcribe. If I have to re-listen to something, or look up, it may take 11 minutes.
to ask for a raise?
To make a long story short, I've had this account for 4 years, and am on a salary. At first I didn't think I would make any money since it was a salaried accout, but as it turns out, some days there is much to do and other days there is not as much, so it rather evens itself out, but then there are days when I'm working from daylight until dawn, but those days are rare. Four years ago this was great money. However, the COST OF LIVING has gone up exponentially! I love this account, but it's my sole income; I have no other accounts. Thus far I've been able to make it on this account and prefer to not take on anymore work because, as I previously mentioned, some days there is more work than I want, but it has to be done. It would just make life much more difficult to take on more work for the days that they slam me, which outweigh the light days. My problem is this: I really want to ask for a raise, but afraid to rock the boat. I realize all they can do is say no, but then, once I've mentioned wanting a raise it might plant the seed that I might be moving on if they don't give me a raise, which I have no intention of doing, but how do I tell them that? I can't just say when asking for a raise: "Can I have a raise?" (them) No, you cannot. Me: Okay, just thought I'd ask. I am at a loss as to what to do about this situation. Any advice would be so much appreciated from anyone with experience in such a predicament as this. Thank you very much.
to ask for a raise?
I own the account personally. It is not through an MTSO.
Wow, sounds like you've gotten the really short end of the stick, and I feel so bad for you. I hope you'll get what sounds like a well-deserved raise, or be able to find another company who will appreciate you for what you really do. Good luck to YOU.
Are you asking for a raise or trying to get an
s
What's a raise?
I'll take the one dictator. I haven't gotten a raise the entire time I've been at the company I work at right now (several years) and I never know what will land in my workpool. One dictator by choice? I'd give my pinkie finger for an account like that and gladly look up everything! What a fool.
we will never get a raise
they will just crack the whip harder...work faster, longer, all day long, all night long so you can make more money more money more money. it is a vicious (brain freeze, is that how you spell it)?
Asking for a raise sm
Speaking from experience, this is not time to rock the boat, so to speak. With the economy the way it is, perhaps they will pretend to go along with you and start searching elsewhere. Been there, done it, think it over very carefully!!! Everyone is replaceable, I found that out the hard way after 20 years of faithful service, and they told me I was the best in the state! Be very, very careful unless you think someone else will pick you up right away. Under-bid by 1/4 of a CPL!
can an IC ask for a raise? nm
nm
No, no raise here, either.
I still make the same rate with my local doctors that I did when I started in 2000. With the company I am an IC, I actually make 4 cents a line less, but the work is abundant so I am still thrilled.
It sounds like you are lucky to still have a job where you are. I wouldn't push it. If you are not happy, start looking for other doctors. If you are content where you are, don't rock the boat.
As ICs, no, we never get raises. If I need more money coming in, I raise my production 100 or 200 lines extra a day, improve my shortcuts, push my speed to the limit. There's always room for improvement. If there is not work sufficient enough for you to do more, then take on another local doctor, if you can.
I try to keep myself thinking of the blessings that come with my job, what it allows me to do for and with my family. This is not a profession where we can dwell on what we are not getting, cause we'd all quit, even the employee status MTs.
Ask for the raise
You should ask for a raise...if you have been working there for two years with no raise, no bonuses, and of course, I'm sure you don't get any insurance or anything like that, you definitely deserve a raise...don't short change yourself, you can bet the office raises their office visits, procedures, etc. when things get tough on their end...you deserve a raise, and besides, if you don't ask, you will never know...the worst that could happen is they say no....but at least you asked. I recently asked for a raise, and got it...I work from home as an IC and type for a local doc...I pick up tapes and deliver the transcription, etc., but I got the raise. Even if I worked in the office, I would have asked for a raise.
We as MTs need to get the idea out of our head that we don't deserve a raise...if you're doing a good job, have experience, and do the work that they expect from you...ask for that raise!
no raise??
Cost of living??? Who gets a cost of living raise as an MT? I want that job!!! I have done this for 35 years and no cost of living raise for me. Raises when I was working in a hospital and was a supervisor in the early 1980s and still transcribing and only got raise because my line count increased within a certain period of time. And believe me I was making much more THEN than I can possibly get now, due to no work, and the amount we get paid per line is going down and we still have to work more hours to get that. But I still hang in there. What is to do at 56??
A raise!?!
Heck, I've been taking regular pay CUTS for the last 10 years! They laugh in your face when you ask for/expect a raise.
pay raise - not
Not only are we NOT getting well-deserved raises, but per-line wages are being cut!
You definitely need a raise....sm
I was a Transcriptionist for about 7 months when I got my first raise. I started out at .065 cpl almost 2 years ago. Then 7 months into it I got .075 cpl without even asking. Then when I had been an MT for 1-1/2 years I asked for another raise and got 8 cpl. I am supposed to get another one in June I believe to .085 cpl. I have a very nice boss.
I would ask for a raise and if they wouldn't give one I would look elsewhere for work.
When was your last raise?
Do you get bonuses? Look, I work weekends, and also don't work when I don't feel like it and I still make a decent wage. As an IC, I can pick and choose and who is to say that just because someone doesn't work weekends they aren't going to make any money.
The only thing open on weekends are facilities and hospitals; no clinics. There is a skeleton crew. You are working nights because India has taken the days. So, please come down to Earth a little here. We've all done our time especially the oldies when life wasn't so easy for an MT.
We need to work together and not belittle each other for someone who would like to have weekends off, etc. Some like it hot and some like it cold. There's no real difference there. Some like working weekends, and some like working during the week. There's no harm done, really. It's all the same.
Thanks to the 2 responders regarding DSG and getting a raise
d
no raise in 3 years
same here -- have you asked for one -- i did and was told that I was sending over 20% to QA - imagine that with the docs that we get -- there is no way to win at MQ and if there is would someone please let me in on the secret!!
Actually I did get a recent raise...
so I'm sure not complaining about that, and fully expect to be given the harder docs, but how are the former cherrypickers supposed to finally learn how to do 'em if all the Foul Ones are sent to us old-timers? I presume they must be getting SOME of them, hence the bad TAT suddenly - but my raise seems to be dwindling as I am assaulted by a steady stream of "mushmouths" all day! Not 2 mention getting hateful after so many in a row without an occasional "good doc"....oh well - back to the foulness!
Rate raise
I am going to do mine. Have not done so for the past 3 - 4 years and so going to try to do 1 cent raise per mine. Hopefully they won't complain too much but I still pick up and deliver and so it hits me hard as my paper has also gone up. So we will see. Usually when I do this they back off a little and don't dictate so much for a month or so but then it goes back to normal. Let me know what you are doing. I am in Oregon. Been doing this for 16 years and I think I started out at 8 and now at 11 to 12.
Patti
Not really. Why don't you ask for a raise at your current
employer if you're happy there? How long have you been there?
Has anyone ever asked for a raise at OSi? (sm)
I have worked there for almost 3 years and am wondering if I have a shot at actually getting a raise? Thanks for any input anyone has!
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