...funny! (expanding my post above, got cut off)
Posted By: Above poster on 2008-10-15
In Reply to: LOL! I know! cam had 2 errors in her post that chided the OP - that "shoud aggrevate" me, but it's just
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Not funny but what a FUN POST!!!....sm
LOL.....*story will morph from 3 feet to 8 feet by the end of the week as you tell it*...... or something..... about had me falling on my face!! *lol*
I don't live in a *house* though I grew up in one and had one 15 years ago...I feel safer in a BIG building...less critters around and safety in numbers......I'm a condo owner/dweller....up a few floors from the ground floor.I don't *kill* in the life......except roaches or something nasty-arsed like vermin.....I remember putting mice traps when I had the house 15 years ago.....
What a funny post, LOL! nm
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Have to post this because I think its both funny AND insulting - sm
This was posted on GURU.com - it's a job up for bidding. But read carefully and look at all the EXPECTATIONS this person has .... for $20/audio hour.
Description:
I am looking for several Document Production Specialists to start ASAP.
Requirements:
* At least two years of transcription experience
* Excellent spelling, grammar, punctuation
* Extensive vocabulary
* Medical, legal, and general business terminology
* Ability to research
* Excellent listening and comprehension skills
* Detail oriented
* Ability to follow simple instructions
* "Just do it" attitude
* Professional attitude, communication skills and work habits
* Express Scribe software and foot pedal
* Microsoft Word
* Committed to providing a quality work product
Let me emphasize that this is not a simple typing job. If you have
fast and accurate typing skills, good, but that's not enough. I have
extremely high standards and you must be able to meet these high standards.
***If you cannot complete one hour of transcription and provide a
PERFECT transcript within 24 hours, please do not bid.***
It is very important that you be able to work without advance notice
and without distractions. If you cannot do this, please do not bid.
It is also very important that you be able to take the ball and run
with it and not ask a lot of questions. If you need a lot of
hand-holding, please do not bid.
If you get frustrated easily and cannot handle challenging
transcription work, DO NOT bid.
For those of you who want super-easy work for tons of money, DO NOT
bid.
I need for you to indicate your days and hours of availability. These
days and hours should NOT be flexible. These should be the days and
times that you are ALWAYS available to work. You will be receiving jobs
during these days and hours without advance notice and you are expected
to do them, no excuses.
Please don't ask me if work is available. When work is available, I
will send it to you during the days/hours you have specified.
If you are a serious professional, confident about your abilities, take
a great deal of pride in your work, and don't mind working for a fair
but demanding boss, please bid PER AUDIO HOUR. Keep in mind, however,
that you will not be paid more than $20 per audio hour to start.
I responded in a polite way, stating that I do not know of anyone that would take work on a MOMENT'S NOTICE, turn it around in 3-5 hours for the total cost of $20. I got the nastiest response back .... "Well guess what? I've had bids for $10 and $25. So there."
What do you all think? 
Such a funny cute post!
LOL!
Funny! Good post. nm
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You are too funny with the MEN CHEAT post. I had to call my
He's working out of state (isn't that just handy?). He was NOT amused because, of course, HE CHEATS! I am not 100% certain, but he's a lying, dishonest, deceitful person whom I have no trust in whatsoever. He REALLY didn't like your solution to the problem...hee, hee. I DID! It does hurt, though, no matter what. MEN DO NOT HAVE TO CHEAT--it is a CHOICE. I don't trust any of them anymore.
lol Reading all of this, your post struck me funny.
You state that you would think her equipment is paid for by now. You would? Considering what? You know her? LOL You know her equipment purchases or lease agreements or what?! LOL
It just seems like everyone is assuming quite a bit.
She sounds like she has more than a rinky-dink small-time business.
I especially love the "get rid of the QA" vote! As if that poster has any clue what her needs are or what her contractual obligations are!
Just kind of funny to me.
Your post cracked me up! Flying Hotwheels! So funny!
My kids are teens, but still...I'm doing QA now, and I really need the house QUIET to hear every syllable every second! So, before when I used to "just" transcribe, all H*ll could be breaking out around me - TVs blaring - phones ringing - kids playing/fighting/arguing/singing, whatever, and only occasionally would I scream out "BE QUIET - I'VE GOT ONE OF THOSE DICTATORS"...and a hush would fall over the house...even the dogs would put their paws over their ears and hunker down. Then you'd hear my stomping on the foot pedal, huffing in disgust, and then after about 30 seconds, I'd yell "ALL CLEAR", and chaos would resume! Now that its QA, boy, they are experiencing culture shock. Now I've always got "THOSE DICTATORS"... so its been a few months now, and I've still not yelled "ALL CLEAR", and probably never will again! 
Answer to finding job x15 years experience and not so funny post!
How childish! Just another embarrassing post by an American MT !!!
The FUNNY thing is that in the amount of time it takes for them to post a message
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Expanding on the expanders
I also create Expanders for two words in a sequence that I mess up all the time. For example, I often type onteh instead of on the, so I have an Expander for that. I make a lot of these double mistakes where it is a misspelling plus a missed spacebar. I also misspell some of my expanders sometimes so I have made expanders for my misspelled expanders! For example, I have TOLW and TOWL for tolerated the procedure well.
Expanding if you are not supposed to
can be called on an audit and I have seen people fired for what they call "line padding" by doing such things.
Advice on expanding my skills..
If I want to specialize in Orthopedic or Cardiology or some other specialty, what is the best way to do this? I currently only do ER.
Would I have to enroll in an on-line school or can I just use practice tapes?
Any advice is appreciated!!
spelling numbers out is expanding for more $$$..nm
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Yeah, they might be expanding and getting new accounts ! - sm
look on the bright side. Anyway its not best to jump ship from one job until you know you will be happy at another....which is why I always work 2....cover your butt.
Ctrl + Alt + A also stops expanding.
nm
shorthand expanding too slowly
Just wondering if anyone can tell me how to get my ShortHand to expand the text faster? I know there is a settng under preferences, and I have tried several variations, but still not expanding any faster. Thanks in advance.
My trick for stopping expansions from expanding....SM
This might not work for you but I find it quicker to add it in my shortcuts. I simply add the last letter on it again when I don't want it to expand. For example, BP = blood pressure but BPP = blood pressure. COPD = chronic.... but COPDD = COPD. That's a lot faster for me than to do all those other steps. Just thought I would throw that out there in case it might work for someone else too.
Re: expanding with punctuation, more info inside
I have been working on this platform for over a year and absolutely LOVE it. It is not the same as autocorrect expansions. This platform offers a LOT more.
I will type this directly from my manual to explain how the ESP abbreviations are expanded:
Press or type a delinter (a spacebar, enter, period, colon, semicolon, comma, question mark or exclamation point) that is appropriate to the sentence text or punctuation. The exapansion appears AS SOON AS you type the delimiter.
You can highlight entire sentences, paragraphs, etc and enter them directly into the ESP list and make a short abbrev. to retrieve them.
To add an ESP, press control, control and type it directly in, or highlight text in your document and then press control control and name your short abbreviation for it.
Sometimes, depending if your sentences are really LONG you will have to copy/paste directly into ESP and then give it a short.
In addition, with ESPs you can format words to be BOLD by inserting a tag. You can also put a tag in for something underlined, italic, etc. They also allow you to insert pauses and backups in your ESP so that you can type yof and get the hyphen first -year-old female.
Pauses are really neat when you want to nest an ESP inside another one. For example: if you put the following entries in your ESP:
lt (left)
tphp (The patient had pain in the)
(The ESPs need to first be created and exist)
Now you type the abbreviation containing the pause then press spacebar. The sentence expands to the point of pause and then type the abbreviation you want to nest, press the spacebar and hit enter. The complete next appears in your document. Believe me, this is something Autocorrect cannot do and really comes in handy especially when you have really repitious dictators who always give the same order on vital signs, etc.
You can also run a microsoft word macro as part of an expansion if you want. There is a special dialog box that the ESP uses for this.
ESPs also allow suffixes to be added to root words (another feature) but this is something I haven't used much yet.
You can also create more than one list of ESPs (can have 2 open at a time).
This platform also allows you to make "normals" for really long documents. Say you have a 2 page op report that a doctor will use over and over. You can just bring the entire document in. You can edit these normals at any time. These are like templates that you can insert jump codes, all your headings, numbering formats, etc.
On this board, I've been reading a lot about how people run to buy either Instant Text or ShortHand (as these are compatible with Dictatphone) but this is not something you have to run out and purchase. The ESPs offer a lot more than autocorrect.
So far, my one list of ESPs has over 20,000 entries and my line counts daily for 8 hours average between 1500 and 1800. Not bad.
The platform is REALLY easy to work from as another poster said you can pull up previous dictation from another Transcriptionist and copy/paste directly into the document you are typing. This is a really great feature when you have those really lousy dictators who pretty much say the same physical exam, etc. You can then just follow along and edit as you go.
It really is easy to use, and personally I love the Expander and have no complaints. Good luck.
I learned this many years ago: I type in phrases ,even when I'm not expanding but SM
I use Expanders VERY extensively. Doesn't ever have to be a canned report. Everybody says "the patient" and everybody says "within normal limits" for two examples that I'm sure you already are using. No telling how many thousands of abbreviations I have.
Alt + Shift will toggle the esp off for a quick pause in expanding...
Using the example given were pt expands to prothrombin time but you want to keep it as PT, you would type PT and then hit the Alt + Shift key combination, continue typing, no need to hit the key combo after PT because it's a "one-stop" fix. Hope this helps :-)
Are you referring to expanding text or real macros?
Can't tell you what you are doing wrong if you don't tell us what you are doing.
You're funny. Ignorant, but funny.
I don't live in NYC and I don't work out of NYC and I make wayyyyy more than $23 an hour, SandyGIRL.
I'm an employee at the largest national and I make anywhere from $58K to $64K a year.
You don't have to believe anyone but you show your ignorance by telling those of us who make that money that we're full of it.
Hahaha
Sorry, that was not an ASR funny, just a regular ole dictation funny. LOL! nm
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Should just post all their open positions in one post and only be allowed to post one of those a day
nm
What a funny, funny reply. LOL
You are a genius! I am sorry you are ugly and fat. I feel bad for you, but what I can I do to help? Go to a plastic surgeon.
now that's funny, true, but very funny
Anal Association of Medical Treachery.
NOTE: The above sticky post prize changes as someone wins. Inside that post is
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I don't understand what your post has to do with original post of TIMED tests. NM
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Post deleted -- Do not post e-mail addresses. (NM)
Goldbird
Ignore my post. I finally found the post on how to do this. nm
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Yes, I tried to post same last night about 10 times, and it won't let me post.
I used to breed lab puppies (please no activist flames)! I had a champion female white Canadian lab, and people would be on a list for years if by chance I bred her, which I did twice, and so that I could continue her line. Anyhow, she's my sweet Skye who passed away 2 months ago? At any rate, we had the same problems with kids in the "hood" who wanted to come over and play once the puppies were old enough to be exercised daily and played with. At first I thought, how cute, right? Puppies and little kids - what better picture! Well, the majority of kids were adorable, but there were always 1 or 2 sick ones who would smack the pups, smash and hold their heads in the dirt (a real common thing, but I don't know why - psychiatrist anyone). At any rate, I finally had to ban the whole group due to the 1 or 2 creeps, had to call the police, the whole 9 yards, and that's EXACTLY what the police officer told me - next thing is there will be poison meat or a donut in the yard. He told me to always go out and patrol my yard, especially alone the fence line every day before I let the dogs out, particularly at night. I went out with a flashlight. It was about a month later, but sure enough - poison meat. Because there were so many kids involved, we obviously couldn't pin point the exact family, but the police went and read the riot act to them all. It would stop and not happen again for a year or so, but every now and again we would find something. My dogs were NEVER out and barking, so it was nothing like that - it was just over the puppies and the cruel kids.... Not trying to freak you, but that's the way these kids and their families are. You can really judge someone's character by ill treatment of a PUPPY, of all things. And the parents?? They sound whacked. Please be careful.
Sorry, I posted this post under the wrong post
Sorry
The job post has been removed and they are unable to post further.
t
my post did not all post in the subject, my apologies...
I think you can get the idea.
thanks.
Excellent post! I copied this post and...
am going to show it to my shrink so he can understand my frustration with my new "profession!" By the way, how much you wanna bet he pulls in 300$ an hour and has two years of schooling on me! Hmmmmmmm. Okay, you flamers, don't tell me to go back to school...I am thinking about it. Hmmmm
Because my post was deleted in reference to the above post, sm
Ladies-once again, I apologize for coming across as a witch in the above post. I appreciate the links and the time spent on posting them.
OOPS. Post for magnent post below...nm
nm
Ah, I really meant to post that under the original post
Though it was gourdpainter's post which inspired me to post that suggestion.
Ah, I really meant to post that under the original post
Though it was gourdpainter's post which inspired me to post that suggestion.
Here's an URL for the medical transcription division of PRN Funding, BTW:
http://www.prnfunding.com/medical-transcription-factoring
what mean post made you post your post
 Which mean post was the straw that broke the poster's back.
Yes, she had post partum depression AND post partum psychosis. I posted on this a while back, and
it explained the two. The psychosis actually develops after the depression. Scary stuff.
Instead of clicking Post Quick Reply, go to the box further down on the left that says Post Reply to
  
Post about Companys on the Company board, post job ads on the Job Seeker board
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So funny!
nm
LOL!! That is funny. nm
nm
too funny
 girlyman hater, I think you are trolling us here.
the country singer type I have no idea about, but a smart humble guy... science is a plus... bein' good lookin' can't hurt, but I dont want a sweaty singin' cowboy. 
*just kidding, but this is how you sound.
funny
When I first started I thought I heard "bologna amputation" instead of below-knee amputation.
thats funny
That is funny, you are right!! Daycares are better than boarding schools. And I also agree that not everyone is cut out to be a stay at home mom. On the other hand, not everyone is cut out to be a daycare provider and that is what the good parents have to worry about.
OH HOW FUNNY
Thank you for the best laugh I have had all week!!!!!! I am cracking up!!!!!!
SO FUNNY
I don't even work for MQ. you think only some people can use BIG LETTERS in their posts? CRACK ME UP! I am just another MT who is TIRED of hearing all the constant complaining. THANKS
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